Where are all the real Christian men??

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,786
6,172
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I never said I wanted to meet a man on CC. I’m not currently looking for someone on a chat forum
Shhhh! We're trying to ignore that.

If we pretend you ARE here to find somebody, he can claim much more basis for his excoriation. And boy, he sure does like to excoriate!
 

ChristianTonyB

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2022
1,133
414
83
Tin Can Bay
Tony, perhaps you would benefit from a character study of men/women in the Bible... None of them were perfect.

As a child I didn't particularly enjoy church... Then my Dad told me, "Maye it's not about what you get from church, but what you bring to it."

I find it interesting that the first pages of Revelation are about God's judgment upon the Churches :cool:
Absolutely J, which is why I want to leave sin out of my life, give it the heave ho. I don't want to bring in any spiritual disease, particularly of the immoral kind, when I meet my family and maybe hurt one of them...I'd rather be stopped at the door and told to leave it outside, and if I wanted to keep hold of it then told to take myself outside with it. My love for my fellow man is that I do not want to bring you harm, and I won't support anyone else that might bring harm to you either.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,786
6,172
113
Absolutely J, which is why I want to leave sin out of my life, give it the heave ho. I don't want to bring in any spiritual disease, particularly of the immoral kind, when I meet my family and maybe hurt one of them...I'd rather be stopped at the door and told to leave it outside, and if I wanted to keep hold of it then told to take myself outside with it. My love for my fellow man is that I do not want to bring you harm, and I won't support anyone else that might bring harm to you either.
And it feels like the church isn't anything more
Then the second coming of the Pharisees
Scrubbing each other 'til their tombs are white
They chisel epitaphs of piety

- Andrew Peterson
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
3,255
1,449
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Now I have happened to notice a gender disparity in certain regions.

For example if you live in the Maryland area just outside of Washington DC there are no men...it's like the women outnumber us guys 12:1.

However in Alaska it's just the reverse where men vastly outnumber the women.

And in places like San Francisco and New Orleans the homosexual men are everywhere so thick that a woman looking for a husband will often find a homosexual man wanting a woman to be his beard and nothing else.

Towards Nevada the men and women both all have so many vices...it's probably not going to work out.
 

ChristianTonyB

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2022
1,133
414
83
Tin Can Bay
She had a relationship with him probably because she loved him. I could be wrong but I believe that you meant to say that we are not supposed to be unequally yoked. I have yet to meet anyone who has not made a mistake or two in their life. Believe me, I made my fair share. Being equally yoked does not mean that one will be immune to abusive behavior.
Thanks T. Our beloved sister Magenta already picked me up on leaving the NOT word out. But I appreciate your check too 👍 I've made terrible mistakes in my life, and am still prone to doing so, even though I hate the thought of it.

In my opinion, personality traits aside, the timidity and wariness that one would normally expect from someone that had been truly abused in a relationship seemed lacking in the OP's approach, and that was a warning sign to me, and one that others have picked up on, both male and female. This is not about pelting rocks at the OP, but rather a heads up.
 

ChristianTonyB

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2022
1,133
414
83
Tin Can Bay
I would certainly not make the assumption that this member is not a born-again Christian. What is wrong for hoping for a happy marriage one day just because the first one was horrific?
Simply because she stated that her being a baptist made her a Christian.
 

ChristianTonyB

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2022
1,133
414
83
Tin Can Bay
I prefered the first version.

I fully concur with your estimation.
You and she took my comment the wrong way. What I was meaning was, where was the spiritual oversight that counselled her in the marriage agreement she was making. Assuming she got married in a church, the pastor should have had a reasonable handle on the spiritual status of the couple involved. Since her partner was an atheist, surely a pastor worth his stipend should have picked that up and refused to preside over the marriage. Therefore, if she has gone back to the same pastor or church for advice on divorce, then I would have to say that she would need to take any advice given with a grain of salt.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,665
1,364
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45
Thanks T. Our beloved sister Magenta already picked me up on leaving the NOT word out. But I appreciate your check too 👍 I've made terrible mistakes in my life, and am still prone to doing so, even though I hate the thought of it.

In my opinion, personality traits aside, the timidity and wariness that one would normally expect from someone that had been truly abused in a relationship seemed lacking in the OP's approach, and that was a warning sign to me, and one that others have picked up on, both male and female. This is not about pelting rocks at the OP, but rather a heads up.
That is interesting, indeed.

But I would suppose that it probably has to do with what kind of abuse the OP suffered. And different people respond and react to abuse differently.

That being said, I do appreciate you looking out for such things. We can't really give sound advice if we don't have complete information.
 

JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
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Kansas City
You and she took my comment the wrong way. What I was meaning was, where was the spiritual oversight that counselled her in the marriage agreement she was making. Assuming she got married in a church, the pastor should have had a reasonable handle on the spiritual status of the couple involved. Since her partner was an atheist, surely a pastor worth his stipend should have picked that up and refused to preside over the marriage. Therefore, if she has gone back to the same pastor or church for advice on divorce, then I would have to say that she would need to take any advice given with a grain of salt.
I was married in the a courthouse
 

JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
216
96
28
29
Kansas City
That is interesting, indeed.

But I would suppose that it probably has to do with what kind of abuse the OP suffered. And different people respond and react to abuse differently.

That being said, I do appreciate you looking out for such things. We can't really give sound advice if we don't have complete information.
As I have stated somewhere in this topic, it was mental and emotional abuse mostly. Left me feeling like I am worthless and that I’m not important to anyone. That everyone is just pretending with me.
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
450
296
63
USA
As I have stated somewhere in this topic, it was mental and emotional abuse mostly. Left me feeling like I am worthless and that I’m not important to anyone. That everyone is just pretending with me.
As far as "pretending" most people seem to until they get to know you enough to love you. Prior to that they are kind, but not as open as they would with a close friend. The kindness they show is genuine if they are good people, but it's not the deeper feelings of friends either.

All relationships are investments in time, even friendships. This is where patience comes into play. People have busy lives and responsibilities of their own so their time for fostering new friendships is limited especially when looking at the friendship of women who are married with children.

If you are interested in friendship, you could look to some of the more elderly women in your church. 1) they have a greater amount of time to foster friendship faster, and 2) the benefits of their wisdom from a full life lived is truly indispensable...

Not only that, but most people, especially youth in our country, overlook the elderly and your own company and friendship would be a gift and a blessing to them as well.

Something to consider.

As far as your own feelings of insecurity, that's not something you want to bring into another marriage.

As I said earlier everyone who's divorced has baggage, and it's important not to bring that into a new relationship. (I'm not talking about children here)

Self confidence, self control etc are the best traits a wife can have. You want to be a partner in a marriage, not a dependent.

You have to manage money with wisdom, you have to have enough confidence in yourself that your not feeling insecure every time your husband is too busy for extra attention and more.

Making sure your wounds, be they emotional or not, are healed is very very very important. Otherwise you'll spend a lifetime flitting from one relationship to another only to die alone at the end of it.
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
450
296
63
USA
In my opinion, personality traits aside, the timidity and wariness that one would normally expect from someone that had been truly abused in a relationship seemed lacking in the OP's approach, and that was a warning sign to me, and one that others have picked up on, both male and female. This is not about pelting rocks at the OP, but rather a heads up.
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. - James 3:17
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,786
6,172
113
Yeah, well... That kinda takes the starch out of lambasting people though. :sneaky: