Where are they?

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H

Hethr

Guest
#1
#1
I cannot find a Christian guy to date.. my church is full of middle aged marrieds, there are no single guys my age. I'm not even employed right now. I'm very lonely. I really don't want to attempt online sites, I went through that stage and didn't find anyone at all, there are pretty slim pickings in my area and I got frustrated and deleted any profile I ever created. Plus so many of them charge and even when I was employed I didn't want to pay money to do that. I don't really have a good enough self image to do that again anyway. I don't feel attractive and nobody has proven my opinion wrong. I don't let that bad self image affect my personality, I am open and love to have fun with people, but
WHERE ARE THEY?
 
G

greatkraw

Guest
#2
#2
the church has a huge issue with singles over 30

I was at a church in england their groups were
kids,
teens
young adults
under 30s
over 50s
seniors

the only other group was family

I was 40
 
P

Pete_Martinez

Banned
#3
Oct 1, 2009
296
3
0
#3
A good thing to try would be doing the Lord's work, being out there doing what you can for him, sometimes without expecting it God will bring that person to you. That's what happened to me, I wasn't looking for her and she wasn't looking for me, I was trying to give her an exhortation against certain things that displeased the Lord.

Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
 
M

machew

Guest
#4
#4
Pete_Martinez said:
A good thing to try would be doing the Lord's work, being out there doing what you can for him, sometimes without expecting it God will bring that person to you. That's what happened to me, I wasn't looking for her and she wasn't looking for me, I was trying to give her an exhortation against certain things that displeased the Lord.

Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Click to expand...

Something my pastor told me once. "If you want to find your future spouse start running with Jesus, keep running with Him and see who is running with you then keep running and look to see who is still running with you"
 
I

iliveforHim

Guest
#5
#5
Hi Hethr,

He'll bring the person He wants you to be with when the time is right. I get lonely too, some times, specially when the kids are either out or with their Dad and I'm by myself, but I would like to believe that "somewhere out there" a nice gentleman will notice me and appreciate my love for God, which means that this guy has got to love God too, for me to consider getting close to him...When I was younger, I used to think that marriage was the end of a journey to womanhood. Now I feel that it's only the middle of the road...first, I need to focus on growing with Jesus, then, if He deems it right, He'll find my match and cross our paths, and we will have that strong foundation to being something worthy and solid and long lasting...(I had a dream last night that I met a man that looks exactly like Robert Redford, and I thought he was totally adorable, but I said to him, nope, I cant' get into anything physical with you, I need to do things right and follow God's path...then, do you know what he did? He started flirting with the next cute blonde that came along! Well! I never! Even in my dreams I'm getting dissed left and right...lol!!!!)

I'm here if you ever want to chat, though!!!! :)

Ingrid
 
B

Belgian_Pilot

Guest
#6
#6
machew said:
Something my pastor told me once. "If you want to find your future spouse start running with Jesus, keep running with Him and see who is running with you then keep running and look to see who is still running with you"
Click to expand...
Nice one to think about. Thanks for sharing it!
 
Z

Zilla64007

Banned
#7
Jan 14, 2010
1,010
5
0
#7
the best thing to do is give it to Christ, and then pray that He gives you a yearning for Him, and not for a spouse... it sounds ridiculous, but, honestly i can tell you it works, because this was something I struggled with for 2 years before finally just lettign it go, giving it to my Heavenly Father, and asking Him to re-affirm it to me that He has everything in control, and asked Him to give me a desire to know Him and only Him more...

I no longer dwell on wanting a wife... yes, i still have a desire for one, and there will be a need for it in the future, but God will provide, and I find true peace and joy knowing that... my concern in life right now is to focus on Him and Him alone, and I don't any man, woman, or child getting in the way of my relationship with Jesus.
 
P

Pete_Martinez

Banned
#8
Oct 1, 2009
296
3
0
#8
iliveforHim said:
Hi Hethr,

He'll bring the person He wants you to be with when the time is right. I get lonely too, some times, specially when the kids are either out or with their Dad and I'm by myself, but I would like to believe that "somewhere out there" a nice gentleman will notice me and appreciate my love for God, which means that this guy has got to love God too, for me to consider getting close to him...When I was younger, I used to think that marriage was the end of a journey to womanhood. Now I feel that it's only the middle of the road...first, I need to focus on growing with Jesus, then, if He deems it right, He'll find my match and cross our paths, and we will have that strong foundation to being something worthy and solid and long lasting...(I had a dream last night that I met a man that looks exactly like Robert Redford, and I thought he was totally adorable, but I said to him, nope, I cant' get into anything physical with you, I need to do things right and follow God's path...then, do you know what he did? He started flirting with the next cute blonde that came along! Well! I never! Even in my dreams I'm getting dissed left and right...lol!!!!)

I'm here if you ever want to chat, though!!!! :)

Ingrid
Click to expand...
There's a quote that goes along the lines of, "It's better to be single and lonely than married and lonely"
 
I

iliveforHim

Guest
#9
#9
Pete_Martinez said:
There's a quote that goes along the lines of, "It's better to be single and lonely than married and lonely"
Click to expand...

Painful and sad, but from experience, true...

:(

I have God, and that's wonderful, but it would be nice to hold someone's hand again one day...

:)
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#10
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#10
Seriously, these days the good christians are probably not even going to church and playing those sort of games and pretending to be goody two shoes like so many in church, but rather getting things done wherever they are at.
 
B

brideofchrist

Guest
#11
#11
I'm single too and I live in the middle east! Lol...The country that i live in can't even be seen on the world map properly, its so small!!!...I haven't even come across one christian guy in the 4 years I've been here whom i could date....like someone who is strong in the Lord and loves him first....I've surrendered that area of my life completely to God now coz I know my decisions totally suck( from past experiences). n sometimes my girlfriends and I do joke about praying that God would send a shipload of christian guys here by sea or something one day or maybe even drop them one at a time by airplane...how they do food or supply drops from airplanes. hahahaha. of course we are kiddin when we say that though. lol. Coz it seems like there are none. But that's not true...Just as there are girls like us that wait on the Lord to get the right kinda guy into our lives....i'm sure that there are really good Christian guys out there who are doing the same. Just be patient....i know it's frustrating at times....waiting on God is probably the hardest part but the sweetest and most rewarding. Pray and ask God to prepare you to be a good wife to whoever God is gonna send you as your husband. Someone once told me ' When both you and the guy you will be with are so busy looking up , that's when you will accidentally bump into each other' which just means that when you are busy doing God's work as a single and living your life wholly for Christ and looking towards Him... n when you least expect it, God will send you that guy.
My fav quote is this... "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."
Seek the Lord with all your heart, serve Him and don't even worry about the guy God has for you. Seek God first and just trust that as you seek Him, everything else shall be added unto you. And what i love is that God is not limited by time or place or anything. Even if that guy is in another country , in another time zone... God will send Him for ya wherever you are. Anything is possible with our God....just believe that ...i mean this is a God who raised the dead, who parted the sea, who even knows the names of all the gazillion stars in the sky ...he knows how you feel and knows the desire of your heart :) Don't be discouraged. Just trust Jesus. Our God is a god of surprises :)
Don't wait for a guy to come along to complete you. Pray, seek the Lord, serve Him, trust Him....enjoy your everyday, laugh, have fun, love....we as women....specially single women like us need to be complete in christ first...look to Jesus for security, for our emotional needs, for freedom....n when that guy comes along....you will know that God hasn't sent Him to complete you , but to share your completeness in Christ :)
N about you not feeling attractive....i just wanna say that....start looking at yourself the way god sees you ...through his eyes....and you will know just how amazing and beautiful you really are :)
 
Z

Zilla64007

Banned
#12
Jan 14, 2010
1,010
5
0
#12
awesome post :)

same thing goes for the men here... except with some of the words changed :p
 
B

brideofchrist

Guest
#13
#13
Lol. Thanks Zilla :)
 
I

iliveforHim

Guest
#14
#14
brideofchrist said:
I'm single too and I live in the middle east! Lol...The country that i live in can't even be seen on the world map properly, its so small!!!...I haven't even come across one christian guy in the 4 years I've been here whom i could date....like someone who is strong in the Lord and loves him first....I've surrendered that area of my life completely to God now coz I know my decisions totally suck( from past experiences). n sometimes my girlfriends and I do joke about praying that God would send a shipload of christian guys here by sea or something one day or maybe even drop them one at a time by airplane...how they do food or supply drops from airplanes. hahahaha. of course we are kiddin when we say that though. lol. Coz it seems like there are none. But that's not true...Just as there are girls like us that wait on the Lord to get the right kinda guy into our lives....i'm sure that there are really good Christian guys out there who are doing the same. Just be patient....i know it's frustrating at times....waiting on God is probably the hardest part but the sweetest and most rewarding. Pray and ask God to prepare you to be a good wife to whoever God is gonna send you as your husband. Someone once told me ' When both you and the guy you will be with are so busy looking up , that's when you will accidentally bump into each other' which just means that when you are busy doing God's work as a single and living your life wholly for Christ and looking towards Him... n when you least expect it, God will send you that guy.
My fav quote is this... "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."
Seek the Lord with all your heart, serve Him and don't even worry about the guy God has for you. Seek God first and just trust that as you seek Him, everything else shall be added unto you. And what i love is that God is not limited by time or place or anything. Even if that guy is in another country , in another time zone... God will send Him for ya wherever you are. Anything is possible with our God....just believe that ...i mean this is a God who raised the dead, who parted the sea, who even knows the names of all the gazillion stars in the sky ...he knows how you feel and knows the desire of your heart :) Don't be discouraged. Just trust Jesus. Our God is a god of surprises :)
Don't wait for a guy to come along to complete you. Pray, seek the Lord, serve Him, trust Him....enjoy your everyday, laugh, have fun, love....we as women....specially single women like us need to be complete in christ first...look to Jesus for security, for our emotional needs, for freedom....n when that guy comes along....you will know that God hasn't sent Him to complete you , but to share your completeness in Christ :)
N about you not feeling attractive....i just wanna say that....start looking at yourself the way god sees you ...through his eyes....and you will know just how amazing and beautiful you really are :)
Click to expand...

brideofchrist,

this was beautiful! I can tell you are very strong in your faith!

 
B

brideofchrist

Guest
#15
#15
Thankyou for your kind words iliveforhim :)
 
H

Hethr

Guest
#16
#16
thanks all, great words of wisdom! (hugs)
 
loveschild

loveschild

Banned
#17
May 21, 2009
3,955
25
0
#17
I'm sure the pickings are better than here. Hang in there.
 
S

songster

Guest
#18
#18
Hethr said:
I cannot find a Christian guy to date.. my church is full of middle aged marrieds, there are no single guys my age. I'm not even employed right now. I'm very lonely. I really don't want to attempt online sites, I went through that stage and didn't find anyone at all, there are pretty slim pickings in my area and I got frustrated and deleted any profile I ever created. Plus so many of them charge and even when I was employed I didn't want to pay money to do that. I don't really have a good enough self image to do that again anyway. I don't feel attractive and nobody has proven my opinion wrong. I don't let that bad self image affect my personality, I am open and love to have fun with people, but
WHERE ARE THEY?
Click to expand...
There are alternatives. If you limit activities to Church, going to work and then spending time with family, this can become routine, and days pass quickly giving you the feeling of getting nowhere. What we often desire when we think we desire a mate is, actually a desire for a change.

If you have particular interests, hobbies or are able to develop new interests, joining free groups simnply to have fun, and to break up the routine of life, can bring about change and create new friendships. I would suggest not joining groups with the intention of finding Mr.right. That way you're still open to simply having fun, but who knows what new experiences you could have and what new friendships could be formed with men and women in your preferred age group. If one of these relationships then develop into something more than a friendship so be it. This will take some research and effort on your part.

Just a suggestion.
 
WomanLovesTX

WomanLovesTX

Senior Member
#19
Jan 1, 2010
1,390
38
0
#19
Hethr said:
I cannot find a Christian guy to date.. my church is full of middle aged marrieds, there are no single guys my age. I'm not even employed right now. I'm very lonely. I really don't want to attempt online sites, I went through that stage and didn't find anyone at all, there are pretty slim pickings in my area and I got frustrated and deleted any profile I ever created. Plus so many of them charge and even when I was employed I didn't want to pay money to do that. I don't really have a good enough self image to do that again anyway. I don't feel attractive and nobody has proven my opinion wrong. I don't let that bad self image affect my personality, I am open and love to have fun with people, but
WHERE ARE THEY?
Click to expand...
Heather, I am 50 and single again for several years. I do have a profile on an online dating site, and I know "All the Rules" and "ALL THE RULES for ONLINE DATING" written by Ellen Fine and Sherrie Schneider. Want to see what my profile reads, read my Christian Chat profile. I have met Christian men, just some I am not really in to and some are not in to me. At least, I am only getting e-mails from Christian men. Knowing "ALL THE RULES" creates a confidence that you cannot get just from the Bible. There are time tested relationship rules, that can at least make you feel good about being single and being involved with other Christians, having fun with people and just enjoy life. When MR. RIGHT shows up, know the RULES and live by the RULES, and you will be as they say "A CREATURE UNLIKE ANY OTHER" (CUAO) and a woman he will desire with all his heart. Be happy single and you will attract men who will be interested. Even when you feel down, DON'T SHOW IT with men you think are even possibilities. As the RULES say, "Who is attracted to someone who needs therapy?" Sure, in time you can share your downs, but not out up front for all to see. That is not attractive, no matter how beautiful you are. As Christian women, live with joy in your heart. God does want to fulfill the desires of our hearts. If you desire a husband and a really good one, I do believe God knows our desires and when our desires line up with His Will, then there is nothing wrong not wanting to be single. Just be patient, live by the time tested rules, and enjoy life. God Bless.
 
H

heart4him

Guest
#20
#20
i hear they're all in Utah.
 
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