Why did you get divorced?

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kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,672
1,433
113
#1
There are many people here that are interested in marriage, and some have already been married, so this seems like a reasonable question to ask.

If you got divorced, why? This way people can learn what could happen, if they get married, and help prevent a divorce.

Below are possible reasons, but the most alarming is that pie chart below that says, woman request divorce 70% of the time.

I guess us men, don't understand the needs of a woman?!?! So, here's your chance to teach us.



 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
753
562
93
Uk
www.101christiansocialnetwork.com
#2
I guess that is a really personal question. Stats dont give the whole picture.

I guess being a regular believer who puts God and then thier wife and kids before himself, doesnt act like another child, isn't an addict, dominating or abusive and is faithful would be enough for most women I know who are believers.

A lot of the time divorce happens when people believed in the disney - or media driven - ideals or some porn derived delusion.

It happens when the illusion shatters, the man drops the romancing, wining and dining and all they did to catch the woman, no longer making her feel like a princess...
It happens when the woman has kids and has to put her energy into caring for someone 24/7 and maybe doesnt have 2 hours to dress herself up to meet his expectations, and puts a few lb on etc, and the man doesnt have his perfect looking 21 year old any longer.

It happens when the man or woman has to go to work more to pay for the family needs and seems too tired to interact when he or she returns home, when the mum or dad have to pay attention to the children more, maybe alot of the time, no longer swooning all over thier spouse and expecting more from them to help out all the time, share in the responsibility way etc etc.

Most people marry a dream. And then they wake up. And then they are unfaithful or turn horrible and the other person divorces them when they cant take anymore, or they just do the divorce and both go chasing the dream again. Sometimes people tire of chasing the dream and dont believe real love is possible.

They dont have a biblical understanding or expectation and so cannot cope when reality fails what they expect.
They dont get married because they want to serve and love a person. They want something to tick as many of the boxes of thier flesh's wants as they possibly can. When those wants arent being met, they go looking for what will meet them.

When we understand what the bible talks about, we have a better chance of surviving as a couple. But it takes 2 and we cannot be responsible for the other persons actions. All we can do is our best by God. Women may opt for divorce 70% of the time but it doesnt mean they made the first move in breaking up the marriage 70% of the time. Maybe men are less likely to want to pay for a divorce, but more likely to cheat? I dont know. I am just saying it isn't always how it looks on the surface.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,680
13,366
113
#4
She initiated, and she left, without ever explaining clearly why.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,672
1,433
113
#5
Thanks for sharing! Started the thread to help people, not to get in your business.

Relationships are difficult and change over time, it's work.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#6
What I'm reading is if you don't cheat on each other, make it a point to spend time together, and learn how to handle money well, you greatly reduce your risk of divorce.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,176
113
#7
I wonder what the 'other' 21 percentage reasons are?
though 1 percent put 'children'. How is that a reason? Is it two homes are better than one?