"You can't make this stuff up!"

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Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
4,652
1,508
113
#1
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
7,757
3,904
113
#2
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
I HAVE actually done that! Threw stuff down the toilet because I didn't want it to stink up the garbage, only to be left with plunger in hand and double the work!
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,417
1,633
113
#3
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
Thanks for sharing! :cool:
 

Miri

The Thingy Member
Jul 22, 2012
9,253
2,252
113
UK age 51
#4
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........

Maybe someone needed the roughage.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,417
1,633
113
#5
I HAVE actually done that! Threw stuff down the toilet because I didn't want it to stink up the garbage, only to be left with plunger in hand and double the work!
Me too! I've learned to put a small amount in at a time.
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
458
583
93
#6
I HAVE actually done that! Threw stuff down the toilet because I didn't want it to stink up the garbage, only to be left with plunger in hand and double the work!
My friends hubby flushed pickles down the toilet. Whole pickles.
Needless to say, within hours the toilet plugged and he had to take it all apart to remove them. :oops:
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
481
412
63
#7
Okay, here goes.
After my wife died I called the social security office to make an appointment to get her records changed and to get the kids signed up for survivor benefits. They asked for my SSN over the phone when making the appointment.
Several weeks later I went to the appointment and went back to the desk with woman doing the case. She looks at me and says "There's a problem. "
I said "What do you mean there's a problem? " I had just gotten there.
She says "it says here you're deceased "
I don't why it happened. With all the documentation you need to do anything anymore I was shocked that they did something like that over the phone.
She told me we fill all the paperwork for the kids and then come back after she had me resurrected.
Then because we never changed our status and her name with social security we had to change my wife's name to mine before they could change her to deceased.

Like you said, you can't make this stuff up.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
537
251
63
33
#8
This is pretty gross, but I was working on a college owned house where one of the deans of the college was moving into. A really bad problem was that a drain from the washroom had broken and the plumber found that raw sewer had emptied into the crawl space and had been doing so for several.....several months. When he looked under the house, a veritable and hideous lake had formed underneath with floating waste and all sorts of absurdities. So, they cut a hole in the washroom floor ..... (this is getting bad) ... and one of the plumbers had to wade in this hellish pool to set up a pump. And so he picks that exact moment by some kind of macabre chance, to have a diabetic insulin loss and weakness. Poor man was too weak to get out of the hole.

Look - I couldn't blame the guy. I would have had the same symptoms and I'm not even diabetic and bear in mind, I knew NOTHING about this problem. I was working on DSL access for the dean and setting an office line to their college office. I was upstairs.

So nobody could lift this poor man out of hole in the floor (and the rest didn't want to) so the man, badly overweight, had to stand in this horrible turd laden cesspool while the dean (who was at the site and saw all the commotion) went to snack bar at the school and got him a candy bar.

So, this dean - a PhD. A holder of several degrees. A polished, trusted and seasoned leader of academics - brings him a Baby Ruth. Of all the candy bars with loads of sugar in it, he picks a Baby Ruth. And I picked the exact time to go downstairs and to my horror, find an overweight guy standing in a hole in the washroom floor in a pool of atrocious dread, eating a baby ruth. You can't make this stuff up.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,840
2,133
113
#9
This is pretty gross, but I was working on a college owned house where one of the deans of the college was moving into. A really bad problem was that a drain from the washroom had broken and the plumber found that raw sewer had emptied into the crawl space and had been doing so for several.....several months. When he looked under the house, a veritable and hideous lake had formed underneath with floating waste and all sorts of absurdities. So, they cut a hole in the washroom floor ..... (this is getting bad) ... and one of the plumbers had to wade in this hellish pool to set up a pump. And so he picks that exact moment by some kind of macabre chance, to have a diabetic insulin loss and weakness. Poor man was too weak to get out of the hole.

Look - I couldn't blame the guy. I would have had the same symptoms and I'm not even diabetic and bear in mind, I knew NOTHING about this problem. I was working on DSL access for the dean and setting an office line to their college office. I was upstairs.
So nobody could lift this poor man out of hole in the floor (and the rest didn't want to) so the man, badly overweight, had to stand in this horrible turd laden cesspool while the dean (who was at the site and saw all the commotion) went to snack bar at the school and got him a candy bar.

So, this dean - a PhD. A holder of several degrees. A polished, trusted and seasoned leader of academics - brings him a Baby Ruth. Of all the candy bars with loads of sugar in it, he picks a Baby Ruth. And I picked the exact time to go downstairs and to my horror, find an overweight guy standing in a hole in the washroom floor in a pool of atrocious dread, eating a baby ruth. You can't make this stuff up.
Bees, you know I'm a huge fan of your posts...

However, I really wish this one would have had a disclaimer.

So much for trying to relax after a delightful dinner by catching up on the forum... :sick:

(It won't stop me from reading anything you share though!) :LOL:

After all, a forum stalker as persistent as I am doesn't give up that easily -- just ask Pipp.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
537
251
63
33
#10
Bees, you know I'm a huge fan of your posts...

However, I really wish this one would have had a disclaimer.

So much for trying to relax after a delightful dinner by catching up on the forum... :sick:

(It won't stop me from reading anything you share though!) :LOL:

After all, a forum stalker as persistent as I am doesn't give up that easily -- just ask Pipp.

I said "This is pretty gross" to start with. That's about as good a disclaimer I have. You want me to say "Read on if you prefer the contents of your stomach become visible"??
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,840
2,133
113
#11
I said "This is pretty gross" to start with. That's about as good a disclaimer I have. You want me to say "Read on if you prefer the contents of your stomach become visible"??
Lol... You caught me.

For some reason, my eyes completely skipped over that phrase. I can also usually handle varying levels of "gross", but this week including caring for a family member after surgery, so maybe I'm even more spaced out (and sensitive) than normal.

It was totally my bad, and I apologize. :cry:
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
537
251
63
33
#12
Lol... You caught me.

For some reason, my eyes completely skipped over that phrase. I can also usually handle varying levels of "gross", but this week including caring for a family member after surgery, so maybe I'm even more spaced out (and sensitive) than normal.

It was totally my bad, and I apologize. :cry:
awww - no sweats there seoulsearch!! No offense taken! So sorry to hear of your family member and hope and pray they recover well. And for the record -I'm pretty sure I could never get mad at you. Grossed out - maybe ..... laugh till I hurt - certainly, but never mad.
 

christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
512
194
43
#13
Well well well...

My top two MOST respected member of CC - none other than seoulsearch and 17Bees - having some friendly exchange;
I mean what are the odds? You can't make this stuff up...
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
15,001
2,772
113
#14
Once upon a time my grandmother wanted to make a pan of cornbread but she was out of buttermilk. Instead of going to the store, which was a whole 1.3 miles away, she just used regular milk. Regular milk does not work the same as buttermilk in baking. The cornbread was... sad.

She tried to find it edible, I tried to tolerate it, but we eventually decided to throw it out. Our dog will eat anything, let the dog have it.

The dog sniffed at it, looked at me, then turned and started pawing dirt over it. No I'm not kidding. Grandma is my witness. Grandma was also mortified. That was adding insult to injury!
 

Miri

The Thingy Member
Jul 22, 2012
9,253
2,252
113
UK age 51
#15
Well well well...

My top two MOST respected member of CC - none other than seoulsearch and 17Bees - having some friendly exchange;
I mean what are the odds? You can't make this stuff up...
Make that 18 bees lol
 

Miri

The Thingy Member
Jul 22, 2012
9,253
2,252
113
UK age 51
#16
Funny story about my aunt, a few years back we were having a girlie chat
about deodorant, perfume etc.

Then she said to me “if ever you want to borrow my underarm roll on, you can do.”

Me said “urgh no not after it’s been near your arm pits!”

She looked at me confused and said “but it’s never been near my arm pits what
do you mean.”

Me rather amused. “So how do you put it on them.”

Her. “Well I wash my hands, roll it on my hands then rub my hands under my
arm pits!”

I fell off the settee laughing.

That was the day a lady in her 70s learnt how to apply under arm ROLL ON!
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
15,001
2,772
113
#18
Once upon a time at a small diner there was a small, middle-aged guy eating an omelette and drinking coffee. Three biker guys pulled up and came in. They weren't the cool, laid-back biker dude type, they were the "I've got a chip on my shoulder and something to prove" kind. They saw the small guy sitting alone and started picking on him. One guy took the small guy's coffee and drank it. Another took the omelette and scarfed it. The third guy took his hat.

The small guy didn't say anything. He just quietly got up, paid for his breakfast and left. One of the biker guys snickered and said to the waitress, "He ain't much of a man, eh?"

The waitress looked out the window and said, "He ain't much of a driver either. He just backed his semi over three motorcycles."
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,685
715
113
Philippines Age 40
#19
Funny story about my aunt, a few years back we were having a girlie chat
about deodorant, perfume etc.

Then she said to me “if ever you want to borrow my underarm roll on, you can do.”

Me said “urgh no not after it’s been near your arm pits!”

She looked at me confused and said “but it’s never been near my arm pits what
do you mean.”

Me rather amused. “So how do you put it on them.”

Her. “Well I wash my hands, roll it on my hands then rub my hands under my
arm pits!”

I fell off the settee laughing.

That was the day a lady in her 70s learnt how to apply under arm ROLL ON!
I have a cousin who did'nt care if the roll on has been in my armpits and was more than happy when I let her have it. Lol!
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,685
715
113
Philippines Age 40
#20
After reading this thread I feel like throwing up. Ok, I made that up. Lol


Has anyone ever throwed up right after eating something? I ate fish. I was ok when I was eating it at first, maybe because I was so hungry. I did'nt mind that it has a slight fishy taste because it was cooked with very little vinegar added to it. When I was halfway eating, suddenly I felt like throwing up and then I did eventually. I will not survive in desperate times because of a weak stomach.