Youve wanted it here it is: the guy friends and female friends thread non dating

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missy2014

Guest
#1
lets talk about its good to talk about how cool they are too (I.e loyalty over the years ) not just your complaints) but i do have this too say my guy friends are soo confusing its so not true that girls are the only confusing i find my guy friends are.
Some of u s are still single so guy friends give you a taste of a frienship with the opposite sex/gender without the dating side of it. Which has proven helpful for me to understand guys better and prepare for my future husband.

Have you ever asked them out ? I have with two of them but it took me years of friendship to get to that point
 
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missy2014

Guest
#2
I cant and still cant understand why my guy friends will always tell about their activities or where their going as in a place like Im just off to the mall in a text im thinking ok ?? when it sometimes doesnt interest me but i still am interested in their interests or we havent had a conversation about it but i get texts like i won a game in this sport but also lost a game today - sometimes im sorry if this sounds hurtful but im not wanting to be but i dont understand why they tell me that when sometimes it doesnt relate to me . Guys do think theyre telling me this because they want me to talk like im interested in their activities and make them feel good? I think they want me to uplift them with words. Or chicks/ ladies can you help me out on this? it puzzles me.

One of them we had a disagreement over because i was getting annoying brecause they kept texting me im just off to the mall im just off to church and i was questioning their motives I asked him why he said he told me was in my area and so i asked do want to catch up / but i was met with his anger he got defensive in his text so i just dropped the issue because i could see i had disrespected him
 
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Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
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#3
Honestly, I find girls much more confusing. We generally say it like it is, no beating around the bush. That said, I'm a guy, so of course I think guys are less confusing. Missy, what do you want help with understanding?
 
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missy2014

Guest
#4
Better to ask my questions here then raise it with my' mates' when in a time of tension they may take it personally .
Ok guys dont jump on me but im aware of when guys/males feel disrespted and angry they stop talking and ive heard thats the time to back away but... quite honestly what if its a situation we need to talk about I.e like the situation above if I want to know why he keeps telling me hes in my area or im off to the movies" if i m met with his feeling of disrespect but lets say its an issue we do need to talk about but he shuts down/stops talking what would help me understand guys better? and help us.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
2,458
151
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#5
I think you should probably take their texts as in they are either lonely and wanting someone to talk to or they are trying to include you in their lives (be glad they aren't texting you about the hot date they have later that night or had last night). If it bothers you yes you need to discuss it or ask them to stop, but if they're trying to include you in their lives then they are likely to take you asking them to stop as a personal rejection.

Also keep in mind that some guys find it difficult almost to the point of impossible to talk about emotions and other personal touchy feel stuff, so if you want to discuss this with them try to stick to actions and more concrete aspects. It might also be a good idea to state your case and then give them a few days to come up with a response rather than expecting them to talk about it the minute you ask; they haven't been thinking about it nearly as long as you have.

Ok awesome CC menfolk, did I get that about right?
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,518
517
113
#6
Better to ask my questions here then raise it with my' mates' when in a time of tension they may take it personally .
Ok guys dont jump on me but im aware of when guys/males feel disrespted and angry they stop talking and ive heard thats the time to back away but... quite honestly what if its a situation we need to talk about I.e like the situation above if I want to know why he keeps telling me hes in my area or im off to the movies" if i m met with his feeling of disrespect but lets say its an issue we do need to talk about but he shuts down/stops talking what would help me understand guys better? and help us.
Well, if it's not s spouse or serious boyfriend then it isn't 'needed' that badly to talk. What you actually mean is that you want to talk about it and not have to wait.
But some people (and not just guys) have their limits. I know, for me, if I'm pushed to a limit I need to get away. I need to go think, cool down, so that I don't say anything out of anger. If I'm pushed to talk at this point I will snap and get rude.
When I've had time to cool down and think I'll come back and talk.
If someone needs space, give them space. Your pushing someone to talk will only make things worse, not better. There's nothing so important that you can't give someone time to calm down. Their need to go cool off is of greater importance than your wanting to talk it out immediately.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
73
48
#7
What's the purpose of this thread again?

I thought it was a dating site...
 
Aug 18, 2015
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#8
Y'all know anything about psychology? And why men use the left-brain and the women use the right-brain? Why in the Bible are women told to be silent in church? It all has to do with the complimentary relationships.
 
May 25, 2015
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#9
lets talk about its good to talk about how cool they are too (I.e loyalty over the years ) not just your complaints) but i do have this too say my guy friends are soo confusing its so not true that girls are the only confusing i find my guy friends are.
Some of u s are still single so guy friends give you a taste of a frienship with the opposite sex/gender without the dating side of it. Which has proven helpful for me to understand guys better and prepare for my future husband.

Have you ever asked them out ? I have with two of them but it took me years of friendship to get to that point
I mean, yeah, it can go both ways. Sure, guys can be confusing, but also, girls can also be confusing. I've had guys who have confused the crap out of me. But, it's because I used to put these expectations on them. Thankfully, I no longer do for the past several years.

I think we expect too much from men and I think it can be vice versa. I think it's important not to put expectations on people, and they won't be as confusing. For example, let's say I like a guy. I can expect him to like me....but he doesn't. But, if I have that expectation of him, I'm going to look into everything as a potential interest. And, of COURSE he's going to be confusing to me because I expect everything he does is in a romantic interest. But he's not doing anyhting wrong. He's only treating me as his friend.

With that being sad, men and women are different. And because of how we are created doesn't mean we are the "weaker" sex or inferior, but just we are created differently. And, this is completely okay.

Obviously, we also need to honor others above ourselves in everything we do.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
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#10
Why in the Bible are women told to be silent in church? It all has to do with the complimentary relationships.
This... Yeah... This I'm just gonna take out back and bury.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
72
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#11
Ohh this subject again.. Okay. When men and women don't communicate, then there's confusion. Men, tell the women what's on your mind, and women, vice versa. No beating around the bush. If you want to be friends and stay that way, say it. No trying not to hurt the feelings because you feel the opposite gender is such a great person.. When you're not up front and honest, people get hurt. And in my experience, friendships are hard to repair after. So no. Men aren't confusing. Women aren't confusing. People just don't know how to communicate honestly with one another.
 
May 25, 2015
5,364
96
48
#12
Ohh this subject again.. Okay. When men and women don't communicate, then there's confusion. Men, tell the women what's on your mind, and women, vice versa. No beating around the bush. If you want to be friends and stay that way, say it. No trying not to hurt the feelings because you feel the opposite gender is such a great person.. When you're not up front and honest, people get hurt. And in my experience, friendships are hard to repair after. So no. Men aren't confusing. Women aren't confusing. People just don't know how to communicate honestly with one another.
And this is why we get along so well :)
 
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missy2014

Guest
#20
Anyone want to comment on your guy/female friends?