Am i unforgivable?

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Justsomeone

Junior Member
Jun 1, 2016
8
0
0
#1
Hey guys, I'm really new here and I need some huge help. I made an account here just to talk about this. Lately, I have been sinning a lot through my thoughts and I didn't stop them. It all started when I got hit by blasphemous thoughts about Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit a few months ago. I didn't mean to say and think all of those weird thoughts, and I couldn't stop them. I wasn't a true Christian back then, I just believed Christianity from my parents and wasn't really into it, but that experience (the blasphemous thoughts) made me come to Jesus and I became close to Him. Anyways, it's a really loooong story and it would be confusing and embarassing if I wrote it here, so I'll try to summarize it. I talked to my mom about it and she helped me. But I was so scared I have comitted the unforgivable sin, I was already scared by it when I was little. Then I saw the bible verse which mentions it (blasphemy towards the Holy Spirit) which told that it was when the pharisees saw the casting out of demons miracles of Jesus and they said He used the power of (you know) and Jesus heard them and said that all sins were forgiven but the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was not. I searched websites about it just to make sure I hadn't done it. I thought I had comitted it because the blasphemous thoughts were sometimes about the Holy Spirit. I was really scared back then and I searched day and night for that. This happened for a while, and suddenly I came to this website where there were people's testimonies and I read that t someone had experienced it too and got restored, and I became relieved because I was not alone. But I also read that the unforgivable sin was saying and believing Jesus used the power of (you know) and I also became worried again because when I had those blasphemous thoughts I sort of believed it and I became a little suspicious of Jesus (i know that I shouldn't have believed it, it's a lie) and I would have these theories in my mind. This went on for weeks, I became suspicious about Christianity but my mom would always say that Jesus is the true God and "don't believe the pharisees, they were just jealous of Him and said that". I then began asking if the Bible was true and if God never lied, and my mom gave a whole lot of sites which proved Christianity to be true. I read all of them and I believed some of it. And also, when I woke up from my sleep I would have instantly have blasphemous thoughts and they were really annoying. I ate very little at those times and I was always grumpy. Then, little by little, I realized that Jesus was the true God and that I was stupid about believing those ideas. I decided to put my trust in Him from then on (although i still worried about the unforgivable sin) and not on those pharisees. I then became very prayerful, I rededicated my life to Jesus and started reading the Bible. then, when Good Friday came, I attended a service and saw that Jesus was tortured and mocked and all and I was so touched by it and i thought "i have those blasphemous thoughts but God still loves me because He died for me so I will not die and go to Hell" and i thanked Him for that. But after a while I was on and off with my relationship with God and slowly I started to sin and decided to rebel Him, but I think He brought me back by convictions.
Then one night I was in the bathroom and I started to think about drugs, drinking, porn, and I started to think "how could that be a sin? It's ok to do those right?" Yes i was so stupid to think about that but then I believed it and i had a war with my mind and I had a terrible headache and I started to have bad and weird dreams but then i asked forgiveness and went back on and off. Then I started to hate God (for no reason) and I just became so angry that I sinned in my mind by thinking about evil acts and I enjoyed them. It's too long to tell about all of it, so long story short, my heart was so hardened and i intentionally sweared at Him in my head, and I can't feel conviction anymore and I feel like humans are weird and i feel everything is strange! Please help me! I don't know what to do, and I can't be like amazed by God anymore and I can't love Him anymore like I used to,, please help! What should I do? Sorry if this was too long, I just needed to tell everything! There is still so much to tell, but they're embarassing. I can't talk to my mom about this anymore, cause she has already given me some advice and I don't want to say this again to her. Please help, I don't want to go to hell, also if i think about receiving the 666 chip it doesn't bother me anymore like it used to. Any advice or help please? Thanks so much!
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,509
515
113
#2
Couldn't read all of your post, because you didn't use many paragraphs and breaks, so it has a 'wall of text' which will prevent many others from reading it as well.
But, from what i could gather of what i was able to read, i will say the unpardonable sin is rejecting Christ. Refusing salvation.
Also, you think you have sinned more than you can be forgiven? I was just having a similar conversation with a friend not an hour ago. Let me use some of the points i said to them.
Is your sin stronger than God?
Is your sin stronger than God's love? Than His grace?
Are you so powerful that you can commit and action that God is unable to deal with?
If you answer yes to these questions, no wonder you worry, because whatever God you think you serve is a weak God and not the one the bible shows us.

Christ went to the cross knowing, before he was brutalized and murdered, every sin you would do, every thought you would have. Yet, with the knowledge, and in fact Because he had that knowledge, he surrendered his life to save you.

Paul tried to murder every Christian in existence. God brought him to salvation in a miraculous manner. Even with Paul seeing God's power, first hand, to bring him to salvation. Even with all of the knowledge and wisdom and understanding of God and His Spirit and teachings, Paul suffered from so much pride, that God had to give Paul a 'thorn in the flesh' just to keep him humble.

Paul wrote 'i do what i do not want to do, and the things i want to do, i do not do'. The man who wrote most of the New Testament struggled with sin. Particularly pride. After he was saved from trying to commit genocide. You think you've done anything worse than Paul? Are your sins so great that you make Pauls murderous, prideful heart pale in comparison?

Peter, with his own eyes, watched Christ walk off of a boat and walk on water. Peter followed Jesus and was actually Walking on Water himself. He was doing it. But even watching Christ standing there, even looking down and seeing himself doing it, he doubted and began to sink. And even with all of this evidence of miraculous power, with Christ himself standing there in the water, Peter doubted and began to sink. And Jesus let him sink and drown.... WRONG. Jesus reached out his hand and pulled Peter from the water. He didn't leave Peter to suffer from his doubt, but showed him grace and mercy by saving him, in spite of his doubt.

Having thoughts is not a sin. When a thought pops into your mind, it's not a sin. What you do with that thought is what can lead to sin. And if you continue to have blasphemous thoughts come to you regularly then you simply may have a mental condition called Intrusive Thoughts. We can all, sometimes, get weird or bizarre thoughts out of nowhere sometimes. But when it happens on a regular basis it could be a sign of the disorder. I have a friend, Christian, who has problems with this. She doesn't believe any of these thoughts. But she can't stop them, either.

Temptation is not a sin. We are all tempted. Christ himself was tempted.

Doubts are not sins. In the bible Thomas refused to believe Christ was risen from the dead, until he saw Christ with his own eyes. He doubted Christ. When Christ did come to him to show him he was, indeed, resurrected, Christ did not condemn Thomas. He actually said that, even in his doubt, Thomas was still blessed.

Feelings are not a sign of salvation or whether or not God is with us. Faith, as the bible describes it, is basically believing in, and trusting in, what you have no evidence of, as being true and real. Your salvation is not something you can feel. Your salvation is there, God is there, regardless of whether you feel them or not. This is where faith comes in. Having faith that God will keep His promise to you and keep you, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Humans Are weird.

I have sworn at God on many occasions. Doesn't erase my salvation. Didn't cause God to leave me.

To feel a lack of conviction is to have made choices to refuse to listen to the Holy Spirit so often that you can actually sear your conscience. It doesn't sound as if you have done that, though. Chances are conviction is still there, you are just not hearing it or listening. Sometimes we have to stop worrying, stop trying so hard, stop thinking we have all the answers and just sit down, be quiet and listen to God. To focus on Him, not us, or our fears. He will handle things, if you stop trying to be in control, and let Him take over. He will convict you and speak to you, if you have ears to hear. Get out of your own way.

If i am correct, and you have any sort of mental condition, it may explain why you struggle so hard. My friend with intrusive thoughts also has struggles with believing she's capable of being forgiven. She focuses too much on her sins and not enough on God's power and grace. But, much of it, she can't control. She is still responsible to fight and do right, but her brain makes it harder for her. You may be facing similar issues.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,498
1,123
113
63
#3
For starters, I think that you need to sit down, take a deep breath and relax. If you are not sure about your salvation you need to confess your sins with a contrite heart to Jesus, ask Him to remove that which does not belong in there and invite Him into your heart. Ask God to light the path that He wants you to walk on your spiritually journey. I believe that all of these negative thoughts are wearing you down both physically and emotionally. Glad to have you join our family for fellowship and support. Welcome to CC.
 
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Justsomeone

Junior Member
Jun 1, 2016
8
0
0
#4
Couldn't read all of your post, because you didn't use many paragraphs and breaks, so it has a 'wall of text' which will prevent many others from reading it as well.
But, from what i could gather of what i was able to read, i will say the unpardonable sin is rejecting Christ. Refusing salvation.
Also, you think you have sinned more than you can be forgiven? I was just having a similar conversation with a friend not an hour ago. Let me use some of the points i said to them.
Is your sin stronger than God?
Is your sin stronger than God's love? Than His grace?
Are you so powerful that you can commit and action that God is unable to deal with?
If you answer yes to these questions, no wonder you worry, because whatever God you think you serve is a weak God and not the one the bible shows us.

Christ went to the cross knowing, before he was brutalized and murdered, every sin you would do, every thought you would have. Yet, with the knowledge, and in fact Because he had that knowledge, he surrendered his life to save you.

Paul tried to murder every Christian in existence. God brought him to salvation in a miraculous manner. Even with Paul seeing God's power, first hand, to bring him to salvation. Even with all of the knowledge and wisdom and understanding of God and His Spirit and teachings, Paul suffered from so much pride, that God had to give Paul a 'thorn in the flesh' just to keep him humble.

Paul wrote 'i do what i do not want to do, and the things i want to do, i do not do'. The man who wrote most of the New Testament struggled with sin. Particularly pride. After he was saved from trying to commit genocide. You think you've done anything worse than Paul? Are your sins so great that you make Pauls murderous, prideful heart pale in comparison?

Peter, with his own eyes, watched Christ walk off of a boat and walk on water. Peter followed Jesus and was actually Walking on Water himself. He was doing it. But even watching Christ standing there, even looking down and seeing himself doing it, he doubted and began to sink. And even with all of this evidence of miraculous power, with Christ himself standing there in the water, Peter doubted and began to sink. And Jesus let him sink and drown.... WRONG. Jesus reached out his hand and pulled Peter from the water. He didn't leave Peter to suffer from his doubt, but showed him grace and mercy by saving him, in spite of his doubt.

Having thoughts is not a sin. When a thought pops into your mind, it's not a sin. What you do with that thought is what can lead to sin. And if you continue to have blasphemous thoughts come to you regularly then you simply may have a mental condition called Intrusive Thoughts. We can all, sometimes, get weird or bizarre thoughts out of nowhere sometimes. But when it happens on a regular basis it could be a sign of the disorder. I have a friend, Christian, who has problems with this. She doesn't believe any of these thoughts. But she can't stop them, either.

Temptation is not a sin. We are all tempted. Christ himself was tempted.

Doubts are not sins. In the bible Thomas refused to believe Christ was risen from the dead, until he saw Christ with his own eyes. He doubted Christ. When Christ did come to him to show him he was, indeed, resurrected, Christ did not condemn Thomas. He actually said that, even in his doubt, Thomas was still blessed.

Feelings are not a sign of salvation or whether or not God is with us. Faith, as the bible describes it, is basically believing in, and trusting in, what you have no evidence of, as being true and real. Your salvation is not something you can feel. Your salvation is there, God is there, regardless of whether you feel them or not. This is where faith comes in. Having faith that God will keep His promise to you and keep you, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Humans Are weird.

I have sworn at God on many occasions. Doesn't erase my salvation. Didn't cause God to leave me.

To feel a lack of conviction is to have made choices to refuse to listen to the Holy Spirit so often that you can actually sear your conscience. It doesn't sound as if you have done that, though. Chances are conviction is still there, you are just not hearing it or listening. Sometimes we have to stop worrying, stop trying so hard, stop thinking we have all the answers and just sit down, be quiet and listen to God. To focus on Him, not us, or our fears. He will handle things, if you stop trying to be in control, and let Him take over. He will convict you and speak to you, if you have ears to hear. Get out of your own way.

If i am correct, and you have any sort of mental condition, it may explain why you struggle so hard. My friend with intrusive thoughts also has struggles with believing she's capable of being forgiven. She focuses too much on her sins and not enough on God's power and grace. But, much of it, she can't control. She is still responsible to fight and do right, but her brain makes it harder for her. You may be facing similar issues.
Oh, thank you Ugly, for responding to me. It's possible that I can still be forgiven? Even though I did all those? I think you're right with the part where you said I still had conviction. But I just don't understand how God can still convict me even when I did all those things against Him. I have been only having them (the convictions) for the past few days only, I don't know why, and the rest of the days before that I didn't have them.

Anyways, thanks for the encouragement. Sorry when I didn't break my writing into paragraphs.
 

Justsomeone

Junior Member
Jun 1, 2016
8
0
0
#5
For starters, I think that you need to sit down, take a deep breath and relax. If you are not sure about your salvation you need to confess your sins with a contrite heart to Jesus, ask Him to remove that which does not belong in there and invite Him into your heart. Ask God to light the path that He wants you to walk on your spiritually journey. I believe that all of these negative thoughts are wearing you down both physically and emotionally. Glad to have you join our family for fellowship and support. Welcome to CC.
Hi tourist, thanks for your reply. The problem is, I can't come to God with a contrite heart. I just can't feel it. But maybe I'll try. Thanks!
 

MyFathersJoy

Junior Member
Jul 31, 2015
15
3
3
#6
Hello and welcome to CC! You have sinned, for sure, but God can forgive you. He can do anything.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

There is an unforgivable sin, but you wanting forgiveness is a sign that you didn't commit it. God doesn't convict a person He isn't going to forgive. I will be praying for you and hope all goes well. :)
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
4,891
410
83
#7
Oh, thank you Ugly, for responding to me. It's possible that I can still be forgiven? Even though I did all those? I think you're right with the part where you said I still had conviction. But I just don't understand how God can still convict me even when I did all those things against Him. I have been only having them (the convictions) for the past few days only, I don't know why, and the rest of the days before that I didn't have them.

Anyways, thanks for the encouragement. Sorry when I didn't break my writing into paragraphs.
The enemy hates you, he will try anything and everything to take your joy in the knowledge of God away, since he knows that if you have recieved His Son, Jesus as Lord and Savior he can't take THAT away. But he will try and make you believe he can.

They are lies. If you didn't want the Lord you CERTAINLY wouldn't be here. In fact the whole question wouldn't bother you at all.

Put your focus on Jesus. He makes no distinction between Himself, and the rest of the Body of believers. So if you love and help them, you are loving Jesus.

Dear Holy Father, please give this woman the unwavering knowledge that she is Yours. Ease her mind's worries and let her rest in Your loving Presence. In Jesus precious Name I pray.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,498
1,123
113
63
#8
From your post I would say that you already have a contrite heart. Pray for God to give you enough faith to come to His son that died on the cross for your sins and my sins. You have done nothing that is not forgivable, I just believe that all of this doubt and negative thoughts are overwhelming you. I have said a prayer for God to remove this burden that is wearing you down. God Bless You.
 

Jvb

Member
Nov 26, 2012
75
1
0
#9
I am having the same trouble, with God not speaking to me anymore.....I do not know which way to turn..Please pray for me.....
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,509
515
113
#10
Just, you realize the very fact that you are here, on this site, worrying about all of this, and seeking help, is a sign of your salvation and conviction? You are spending so much time trying to prove, focus on and dwell on the mistakes you've made, that YOU have shut God out by refusing to apply the grace He is giving. I don't believe you have done this purposefully, but more is a result of you putting your thoughts in the wrong places without realizing the mistake you're making.

It's not Possible that you can be forgiven, you ARE forgiven. Right now. It's now up to you to see it and accept it and move forward in your life in that forgiveness. Right now you are bound up in guilt, which is a tool Satan uses to hold us back in our lives, both in the fleshly world as well as spiritually. God has taken care of all of it. The problem isn't God, the problem is you are holding on to what God has forgiven. God's work has been done. The bible says He separates us from our sins as the east is from the west. But you are still holding on to your mistakes. God's will is freedom, you are holding yourself in slavery. If you want freedom, you have to embrace it. Your life can't move forward until you let go of the things you're clinging to and cling to God's hand instead.

And no worries about the paragraphs, it's just a helpful tip for you in the future.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,509
515
113
#11
I am having the same trouble, with God not speaking to me anymore.....I do not know which way to turn..Please pray for me.....
Sorry to hear, but you may want to create your own thread. Perhaps in the Prayer Request Forums, and not in another users thread. Particularly since it is in the Teens Forum.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,498
1,123
113
63
#12
I am having the same trouble, with God not speaking to me anymore.....I do not know which way to turn..Please pray for me.....

I have prayed for you as well. At times I go through my own spiritual dry times but sooner rather than later God provides spiritual refreshment. You don't have to turn anywhere, just be still and experience the presence of God where you are.
 

Justsomeone

Junior Member
Jun 1, 2016
8
0
0
#13
Hey, thank you guys for everything. I will try to still come to God like you said. But, I still have something to say. During those months and in these past few weeks, I have been... doing the very thing God told us not to do. I sometimes would say in my mind "hail ******" and it's just really weird and also I would sometimes in my head bow to some pictures of people, which is awkward, and also when I heard that President Obama was the Antichrist, I would... do something really inapropriate (i dont want to tell) and I read in the bible that whoever worships the Antichrist would be doomed to hell... I just sinned too much, how would God be able to forgive me? I know what I did was wrong and I'm just human, but I just don't know how to come to God again.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
4,891
410
83
#14
Hey, thank you guys for everything. I will try to still come to God like you said. But, I still have something to say. During those months and in these past few weeks, I have been... doing the very thing God told us not to do. I sometimes would say in my mind "hail ******" and it's just really weird and also I would sometimes in my head bow to some pictures of people, which is awkward, and also when I heard that President Obama was the Antichrist, I would... do something really inapropriate (i dont want to tell) and I read in the bible that whoever worships the Antichrist would be doomed to hell... I just sinned too much, how would God be able to forgive me? I know what I did was wrong and I'm just human, but I just don't know how to come to God again.
Can't you see? You're focusing so much on YOUR sin and what YOU are doing that you aren't leaving any room to focus on what God has done through Jesus for you. Try and take your mind off of you and put it on Jesus and His people.
 

Justsomeone

Junior Member
Jun 1, 2016
8
0
0
#15
Can't you see? You're focusing so much on YOUR sin and what YOU are doing that you aren't leaving any room to focus on what God has done through Jesus for you. Try and take your mind off of you and put it on Jesus and His people.
Ok, I will try
 

notmyown

Senior Member
May 26, 2016
3,430
254
0
#16
I just don't know how to come to God again.
child, you may simply go to Him. :)

He's not a horrid taskmaster, He is a loving Father. you have a loving Savior in Christ, full of grace and mercy.

i agree with Ugly in that you may have some kind of mental condition that is troubling you. my daughter has OCD and the intrusive, unwanted thoughts make her cry. perhaps you might speak to your parents about seeing someone for a diagnosis?

but above all, you can safely trust in the mercy and tender love of God. He is never against you; He is with you, and for you.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

'nor any other created thing', dear heart, and that includes your brain.

grace and peace to you. ♥

 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,372
1,335
113
#17
Hey, thank you guys for everything. I will try to still come to God like you said. But, I still have something to say. During those months and in these past few weeks, I have been... doing the very thing God told us not to do. I sometimes would say in my mind "hail ******" and it's just really weird and also I would sometimes in my head bow to some pictures of people, which is awkward, and also when I heard that President Obama was the Antichrist, I would... do something really inapropriate (i dont want to tell) and I read in the bible that whoever worships the Antichrist would be doomed to hell... I just sinned too much, how would God be able to forgive me? I know what I did was wrong and I'm just human, but I just don't know how to come to God again.

One, please use paragraphs next time. :) Two, Obama is AN anti-christ, not THE anti-christ. You shouldn't worship Obama anyways, he's not God. There is no sin that God cannot forgive. :) Go to him on your knees in prayer and repent. Like another poster said, the fact that you're on here worrying about it, shows you DO have a contrite heart..
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,509
515
113
#18
Hey, thank you guys for everything. I will try to still come to God like you said. But, I still have something to say. During those months and in these past few weeks, I have been... doing the very thing God told us not to do. I sometimes would say in my mind "hail ******" and it's just really weird and also I would sometimes in my head bow to some pictures of people, which is awkward, and also when I heard that President Obama was the Antichrist, I would... do something really inapropriate (i dont want to tell) and I read in the bible that whoever worships the Antichrist would be doomed to hell... I just sinned too much, how would God be able to forgive me? I know what I did was wrong and I'm just human, but I just don't know how to come to God again.
All of this has been answered. It's up to you to act on it, rather than repeat yourself.
I still insist a mental disorder. Perhaps OCD.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
8,388
196
63
#19
If you had truly committed an unforgiveable sin, you wouldn't care that you had.

satan's just trying to keep you down. Know that you are forgiven, leave that accuser behind, and MOVE ON.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
16,931
428
83
#20
Hey, thank you guys for everything. I will try to still come to God like you said. But, I still have something to say. During those months and in these past few weeks, I have been... doing the very thing God told us not to do. I sometimes would say in my mind "hail ******" and it's just really weird and also I would sometimes in my head bow to some pictures of people, which is awkward, and also when I heard that President Obama was the Antichrist, I would... do something really inapropriate (i dont want to tell) and I read in the bible that whoever worships the Antichrist would be doomed to hell... I just sinned too much, how would God be able to forgive me? I know what I did was wrong and I'm just human, but I just don't know how to come to God again.
I might get some grief about it but you remind me of a conversation I had with a lady a few years ago.

We were doing a Bible study and I kind of spoke what was on my heart.

All the voices we hear or the visions we see are not always our own. We are in the middle of a spiritual war and your armor needs polishing up.

Next time you get those visions, rebuke them and pray that God takes them from your heart and mind. Whether they are from your own flesh or outside forces, God can and will forgive and heal you.

Learn what it means to have the armor of God.

The helmet of salvation protects your mind because it revels that you are saved by grace and not your own works.

The breast plate of righteousness you are clothed in is not yours but Christ which has been imputed upon you.

There is more folks don't like long post.

Will pray for and with you.

Dear God guard our hearts and mind so that we might reflect your light and love to this lost and harsh world.in Jesus name we pray, amen.