Confused on what to do!

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#1
#1
Okay...so I made friends with this girl named Kayla, we have tons in common, she is a Christian and we became good friends pretty much immediatly! I have not known her for long at all...but last night at my youth group it came out that she is slowly dying, from the same thing that killed her parents when she was 2! I do not handle things like that very well, and I do not know what to do about it! I do not know if I should remain her friend or put some distance between us before I get to close, (which I have a habbit of doing) I never have had a friend that is dying before, I do not know what to do! I do not want to get close to someone knowing that at anytime, whether it be today or ten years from now, but anytime she could end up dying from this infection she was born with! What do I do!!!? I do not want to hurt her, but I don't wanna get hurt!
 
jonathanbchristian

jonathanbchristian

Banned
#2
Feb 16, 2011
2,957
24
0
#2
Get hurt for Christ' sake and be her friend. It is what Jesus did knowing Peter would deny Him.
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#3
#3
Yeah!!! I just hope it does not through me into doubt again, I lived with doubt in God for three years and just got over it!!!! I do not want anything to make me start doubting again! But I know how my mind works, and when stressful situations come it throws me for a loop!!!
 
R

Random_Facts

Guest
#4
#4
I say, be her friend. She'll be more thankful that you stood beside her, even through the most hardest of times. Life is short, you blink and it's already over. Just think, if she does live 10 plus years, that's 3650 days of having an awesome friend that you had so much in common with, and can relate with. No matter how long someone has, friends are the best to have forever <3.
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#5
#5
Yeah!!! Thanx!!! :D
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#6
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#6
CryingRose94 said:
Okay...so I made friends with this girl named Kayla, we have tons in common, she is a Christian and we became good friends pretty much immediatly! I have not known her for long at all...but last night at my youth group it came out that she is slowly dying, from the same thing that killed her parents when she was 2! I do not handle things like that very well, and I do not know what to do about it! I do not know if I should remain her friend or put some distance between us before I get to close, (which I have a habbit of doing) I never have had a friend that is dying before, I do not know what to do! I do not want to get close to someone knowing that at anytime, whether it be today or ten years from now, but anytime she could end up dying from this infection she was born with! What do I do!!!? I do not want to hurt her, but I don't wanna get hurt!
Click to expand...

If you want to do a totally unselfish thing, be friends with her. She's going to really need your support and friendship :)

Sure, you can stay emotionally distant from EVERYONE and not get hurt. But you will most certainly miss out on the God-given blessing of relationships.

There are lessons to be learned and people to be loved....death means nothing to a Christian, except the beginning of life in a wonderful place.

God probably placed you in her life for a purpose :)
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#7
#7
Yeah! I just know how I get when Something bad happens in my life and I hate it! But I do intend to continue being her friend!
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#8
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#8
CryingRose94 said:
Yeah! I just know how I get when Something bad happens in my life and I hate it! But I do intend to continue being her friend!
Click to expand...

So...what do you do when bad things happen? How do you react to them?
 
W

WISDOMSFOOL

Guest
#9
#9
Billions of people on earth and sometimes one soul can make the difference that all the others cant one true friend alive or dead far exceeds 1000 fake friends. When your a christian death is not an issue the bible compairs our life to a vapor be her freind now and know you will be her friend for all eternity
 
L

Livi94

Guest
#10
#10
Oh my goodness, just reading that brought tears to my eyes. I'll be praying for your friend and for you as well! Please, stay by her side and be her friend. When the time comes, it'll hurt, but there is no greater love, says the Lord, than to lay down your life for a friend. Sure, you aren't sacrificing yourself for her sake but you are spending wonderful time with her that should not be wasted! She would sure appreciate you're friendship which may ever help her stay strong even just for a little bit longer <3 Prayers going out to y'all!
God Bless!

~Olivia
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#11
#11
Lucy68 said:
So...what do you do when bad things happen? How do you react to them?
Click to expand...
I usually kinda shut down, often times feeling nothing about deep depression for a long time, almost not even thinking anymore, just staring at nothing, followed by thoughts, (and attempts a few times) at suicide, and then doubt often times in there being a God that actually cares about and loves us! That is what happened when my dad abandoned us, when my brother abandoned us, when our church turned on us, when we lost our home....and so on!
 
T

Timofree

Guest
#12
#12
I say be her friend and also pray for her, lay hands on her, anoint her with oil, however God tells you to.........! He is more than able to heal her completely :)
prayers your and her way
 
B

BlueAngel

Guest
#13
#13
Every trial in our lives are either an opertunity, or a road block in our way back to God.
Every trial is a blessing if you use it in the right way, if you learn from it.
Being her friend could be one of the greatest blessings you ever receive.
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#14
#14
Yeah! I know that! I'm gonna stay her friend!!!
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#15
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#15
CryingRose94 said:
I usually kinda shut down, often times feeling nothing about deep depression for a long time, almost not even thinking anymore, just staring at nothing, followed by thoughts, (and attempts a few times) at suicide, and then doubt often times in there being a God that actually cares about and loves us! That is what happened when my dad abandoned us, when my brother abandoned us, when our church turned on us, when we lost our home....and so on!
Click to expand...

Im sorry...it sounds like you've gone through quite a few very painful things; maybe you're automatically going into self-preservation mode by 'shutting down'.

This may cause you numbness or oblivion for awhile but it still isn't a good thing to do. Try to get in the habit of immediately taking it before the Lord and asking for peace, comfort, guidance, calmness so that you can think rationally.

God never said that bad things would never happen; but Jesus said He will always be with us .... but we have to turn TO Him for help...not FROM Him. He never forces Himself on anyone. He respects our free will.

Satan has probably influenced you a great deal with very negative thoughts...."you're not good enough...how could anyone love you....you such a loser.....why not end you life and just get it over with....God doesn't love you!". Sweetie, these are out of the pit and spoke by the world's most famous liar!

God loves you immensely and wants a close relationship with you and is calling you to Him. The question is 'who are you going to believe'? God or Satan? ....go for the first one :)

Find a church that will feed you. Find Christian friends. Read and meditate on God's Word. Just opening your bible says to God 'I want to get to know you'. The harder it is to open the bible, the more you really need to make yourself do it :)

Praying for you to not go into shut-down mode but to go into seeking-mode :)
 
S

Sideburns

Guest
#16
#16
Did you ever look at it like this? We all are like Kayla in a sense, We all have this disease called Sin, and since we do..we all are dieing, and we dont know when that time will be. So does it make sense to not make friends because we all are dieing and we dont know when that day will be? Of course not, I encourge you to be her friend and comfort her, Show her the love of Jesus and let God get the glory out of this situation, it could have been the Lords will that she met you, So just pray about what shes going through and that God would comfort her, its not easy for her and she needs support, christain support and much prayer! I hope that has helped some, peace and blessings
 
B

bullssoxfan23

Guest
#17
#17
She needs you to be her friend. Perhaps God has chosen you to be a voice of encouragement in her life
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#18
#18
Lucy68 said:
Im sorry...it sounds like you've gone through quite a few very painful things; maybe you're automatically going into self-preservation mode by 'shutting down'.

This may cause you numbness or oblivion for awhile but it still isn't a good thing to do. Try to get in the habit of immediately taking it before the Lord and asking for peace, comfort, guidance, calmness so that you can think rationally.

God never said that bad things would never happen; but Jesus said He will always be with us .... but we have to turn TO Him for help...not FROM Him. He never forces Himself on anyone. He respects our free will.

Satan has probably influenced you a great deal with very negative thoughts...."you're not good enough...how could anyone love you....you such a loser.....why not end you life and just get it over with....God doesn't love you!". Sweetie, these are out of the pit and spoke by the world's most famous liar!

God loves you immensely and wants a close relationship with you and is calling you to Him. The question is 'who are you going to believe'? God or Satan? ....go for the first one :)

Find a church that will feed you. Find Christian friends. Read and meditate on God's Word. Just opening your bible says to God 'I want to get to know you'. The harder it is to open the bible, the more you really need to make yourself do it :)

Praying for you to not go into shut-down mode but to go into seeking-mode :)
Click to expand...
Thank you! :D Yeah, I go to church, my dad is a pastor, and I do have good Christian friends! Thank you for the prayers!!!
 
C

CryingRose94

Guest
#19
#19
Sideburns said:
Did you ever look at it like this? We all are like Kayla in a sense, We all have this disease called Sin, and since we do..we all are dieing, and we dont know when that time will be. So does it make sense to not make friends because we all are dieing and we dont know when that day will be? Of course not, I encourge you to be her friend and comfort her, Show her the love of Jesus and let God get the glory out of this situation, it could have been the Lords will that she met you, So just pray about what shes going through and that God would comfort her, its not easy for her and she needs support, christain support and much prayer! I hope that has helped some, peace and blessings
Click to expand...
No I never did look at it that way! But most people do not die so young as her! If she does, there is always that chance she could get healed!
 
A

Ammette

Guest
#20
#20
I'm so sorry!! I have never had this kind of thing happen to me, stay strong! I would be absolutely heart broken if this happened to me! I know that being told to stay strong and actually staying strong are 2 COMPLETELY different things! but heres some advice to do so: read the Bible; Talk to a close friend or your pastor about it! that can really help :); Know this: if your dieing friend is really saved, then she will go to heaven! where she will be much happier than she ever will be on earth :) also if your saved then when you die, you will get to spend an ETERNITY with her! I hope that helps!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.