How to have a relationship with God through my guilt?

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mermaid003

New member
Sep 1, 2018
5
1
3
#1
I am 13 and a self harmer and depressed and bipolar (my parents know) but how do I maintain a relationship with God when I have all this guilt around all of this? I feel like I've turned my back on Him by doing and feeling this stuff but I need Him to help me through it even though I know it will take a while.
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,915
1,248
113
#2
Hi mermaid 003, and welcome! I am sad to hear about your situation, and being depressed now. I've been there too, and know God was there all along, although it did not feel so good being in the dumps for quite a while. God works in different ways, and i cant even tell what His plan for you is, but know that it is good. It always it. We dont understand why people have afflictions, get sick, tired, hurt, etc., but while we're in this world, that's the way it is. But thanks be to God He has called you, and He will never leave you or let you down. Do you know even i feel guilty now when i slow down too much and think i am not doing something when there's so much to be done for the kingdom? But God does not want us feeling guilty or overwhelmed when He only wants us to rest in Him. Hold on to His word, find time to sing to Him, share your struggles with other mature elders, and people your age too who may be going thru same struggles. Trust and love God with all your heart, and wait on the Lord. He makes all things beautiful in His time=).
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,044
113
#3
I am 13 and a self harmer and depressed and bipolar (my parents know) but how do I maintain a relationship with God when I have all this guilt around all of this? I feel like I've turned my back on Him by doing and feeling this stuff but I need Him to help me through it even though I know it will take a while.
This life sucks sometimes. Removing guilt is exactly why Christ came. That’s what forgiveness does. Let’s say you accidentally start a fire in the kitchen being stupid. Then your parent’s car pulls up and you are nervous that they will be upset because the damage is extensive. They walk through the door and already can smell that something happened. You throw your arms around them and say that you did something stupid and it caused damage to their property. They throw their arms back around you and hug you tightly and say, “It’s ok Baby, I’m glad you are alright. I FORGIVE you. That’s only stuff, it’s replaceable, you aren’t. Let’s go out for dinner and clean this up after we eat.”

Since we have Christ, with a repentant heart, we have forgiveness. This means we never have to be scared to go to God. It is by going to Him that helps us fix these messes. What stresses you out to the point you want to harm yourself? Many young people starting their teens get frustrated and often pick unhelpful ways to cope with perpetual anxiety to escape. Some other common ways of escape are drugs and alcohol, pornography and masterbation, watching television and listening to music and excessive eating or eating disorders. These things release serotonin (happy neurotransmitters) and hurting releases cortisol, natural pain killer. These are all done to combat pain and stress often caused by fear. The question you need to ask yourself is what are you afraid of or what is hurting you. Common things for adolescents are fear of rejection and fear of failure. As well bullying and being left out. Find what is causing the stress and deal with that rather than trying to find ways to deal with the pain.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
6,694
3,066
113
#4
I am 13 and a self harmer and depressed and bipolar (my parents know) but how do I maintain a relationship with God when I have all this guilt around all of this? I feel like I've turned my back on Him by doing and feeling this stuff but I need Him to help me through it even though I know it will take a while.
Come to the realization that God loves you..You are a human being and you may not think you are good enough..But God is not a human being and does not think like a human being.. His love is not faulty like many human beings who judge others on shallow things not the deeper things..

You must know and accept that you are trully loved by God and spend some time getting to know Him more by reading the Gospels and talking to Him.. What ever it is that has you depressed and stressed talk to God about it..

I hope you are freed from your depression and all the damaging effects of your state of mind soon Mermaid..
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
I am 13 and a self harmer and depressed and bipolar (my parents know) but how do I maintain a relationship with God when I have all this guilt around all of this? I feel like I've turned my back on Him by doing and feeling this stuff but I need Him to help me through it even though I know it will take a while.
One thing I've learned with my various issues is learning more about them makes a huge difference. Learning more about what you contend with does a lot to help remove negative emotions. I'm sure you know some about your conditions but learn more.
Also know the difference between explanation and excuse. You can explain certain behaviors you may have, but that does not mean you get to make excuses to not try to be different or to do wrong things.

I, for example, struggled for a long time with various areas of my personality and felt as though I was strange. As I eventually learned more about my personality and some traits it has I saw that I was actually very similar to a lot of people.
I understood some of my negative behaviors, and by learning all this o felt less guilt and wasn't as hard on myself.
I also have depression (nearly 30 years) and anxiety (almost 15 years). So my patience is lower than many others because these conditions cause people to have lower patience levels. Knowing this I felt better that I have this struggle, but I don't use it as an excuse to be impatient.

So learn more than you already know. It can also be interesting learning how the mind works, the causes, etc... and could be fun as well.

I had a friend who struggled most of her life with bipolar as well. She had good periods and bad as she tried medications of all kinds and various treatments. Now shes a bodybuilder. She spends her days in the gym, eating healthy. She found a way to channel her energy into something more constructive.
She, too, was a cutter and much worse, before getting more evened out. So you aren't alone in your struggles.
I also knew a guy that had bipolar that was on and off his meds, started drinking and smoking pot. Now he has no license, no job, is in and out of the mental ward, is usually stumbling drunk before noon, lives alone and his own kids want nothing to do with him.
Whether you end up like my friend who's doing something good with her life, or a stumbling drunk, is entirely up to how you handle things. You can control that.
 

mermaid003

New member
Sep 1, 2018
5
1
3
#6
One thing I've learned with my various issues is learning more about them makes a huge difference. Learning more about what you contend with does a lot to help remove negative emotions. I'm sure you know some about your conditions but learn more.
Also know the difference between explanation and excuse. You can explain certain behaviors you may have, but that does not mean you get to make excuses to not try to be different or to do wrong things.

I, for example, struggled for a long time with various areas of my personality and felt as though I was strange. As I eventually learned more about my personality and some traits it has I saw that I was actually very similar to a lot of people.
I understood some of my negative behaviors, and by learning all this o felt less guilt and wasn't as hard on myself.
I also have depression (nearly 30 years) and anxiety (almost 15 years). So my patience is lower than many others because these conditions cause people to have lower patience levels. Knowing this I felt better that I have this struggle, but I don't use it as an excuse to be impatient.

So learn more than you already know. It can also be interesting learning how the mind works, the causes, etc... and could be fun as well.

I had a friend who struggled most of her life with bipolar as well. She had good periods and bad as she tried medications of all kinds and various treatments. Now shes a bodybuilder. She spends her days in the gym, eating healthy. She found a way to channel her energy into something more constructive.
She, too, was a cutter and much worse, before getting more evened out. So you aren't alone in your struggles.
I also knew a guy that had bipolar that was on and off his meds, started drinking and smoking pot. Now he has no license, no job, is in and out of the mental ward, is usually stumbling drunk before noon, lives alone and his own kids want nothing to do with him.
Whether you end up like my friend who's doing something good with her life, or a stumbling drunk, is entirely up to how you handle things. You can control that.

thank you this is really helpful ❤❤
 

mermaid003

New member
Sep 1, 2018
5
1
3
#7
Come to the realization that God loves you..You are a human being and you may not think you are good enough..But God is not a human being and does not think like a human being.. His love is not faulty like many human beings who judge others on shallow things not the deeper things..

You must know and accept that you are trully loved by God and spend some time getting to know Him more by reading the Gospels and talking to Him.. What ever it is that has you depressed and stressed talk to God about it..

I hope you are freed from your depression and all the damaging effects of your state of mind soon Mermaid..
thank you so much ❤
 

mermaid003

New member
Sep 1, 2018
5
1
3
#8
This life sucks sometimes. Removing guilt is exactly why Christ came. That’s what forgiveness does. Let’s say you accidentally start a fire in the kitchen being stupid. Then your parent’s car pulls up and you are nervous that they will be upset because the damage is extensive. They walk through the door and already can smell that something happened. You throw your arms around them and say that you did something stupid and it caused damage to their property. They throw their arms back around you and hug you tightly and say, “It’s ok Baby, I’m glad you are alright. I FORGIVE you. That’s only stuff, it’s replaceable, you aren’t. Let’s go out for dinner and clean this up after we eat.”

Since we have Christ, with a repentant heart, we have forgiveness. This means we never have to be scared to go to God. It is by going to Him that helps us fix these messes. What stresses you out to the point you want to harm yourself? Many young people starting their teens get frustrated and often pick unhelpful ways to cope with perpetual anxiety to escape. Some other common ways of escape are drugs and alcohol, pornography and masterbation, watching television and listening to music and excessive eating or eating disorders. These things release serotonin (happy neurotransmitters) and hurting releases cortisol, natural pain killer. These are all done to combat pain and stress often caused by fear. The question you need to ask yourself is what are you afraid of or what is hurting you. Common things for adolescents are fear of rejection and fear of failure. As well bullying and being left out. Find what is causing the stress and deal with that rather than trying to find ways to deal with the pain.[/QUOTE

thank you this really meant a lot to me!
 

mermaid003

New member
Sep 1, 2018
5
1
3
#9
Hi mermaid 003, and welcome! I am sad to hear about your situation, and being depressed now. I've been there too, and know God was there all along, although it did not feel so good being in the dumps for quite a while. God works in different ways, and i cant even tell what His plan for you is, but know that it is good. It always it. We dont understand why people have afflictions, get sick, tired, hurt, etc., but while we're in this world, that's the way it is. But thanks be to God He has called you, and He will never leave you or let you down. Do you know even i feel guilty now when i slow down too much and think i am not doing something when there's so much to be done for the kingdom? But God does not want us feeling guilty or overwhelmed when He only wants us to rest in Him. Hold on to His word, find time to sing to Him, share your struggles with other mature elders, and people your age too who may be going thru same struggles. Trust and love God with all your heart, and wait on the Lord. He makes all things beautiful in His time=).
thank you so much. this really gave me a lot of hope ❤
 
Sep 5, 2018
11
5
3
20
#10
I am 13 and a self harmer and depressed and bipolar (my parents know) but how do I maintain a relationship with God when I have all this guilt around all of this? I feel like I've turned my back on Him by doing and feeling this stuff but I need Him to help me through it even though I know it will take a while.
I am 13 and a self harmer and depressed and bipolar (my parents know) but how do I maintain a relationship with God when I have all this guilt around all of this? I feel like I've turned my back on Him by doing and feeling this stuff but I need Him to help me through it even though I know it will take a while.
Even if you feel guilty its never too bad or too late to ask god for forgiveness. Pray and read his word to learn more about him. You may learn that you feel guilty for nothing