I feel worthless I feel like no matter how I try I can't change my path

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Jun 6, 2018
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#1
I'm so sick and tired of my life. I always sin and I mean it's just that I go back and forth, for exampleI Ialways pray and read my Bible but then a week or months later I like I watch inappropriate things and then I am jealous and many moree. I asked God for a change but I am still the same person and I am trying hard not to but I still do, so because of this I feel like maybe I am meant to just be out there living a foolish and sinful life since no matter how I ask God and how I try I always go back to my old ways and that kills me I mean if God knows I'll disappoint him then why did he create me. It makes me so angry to know that I am a filthy sinner who plays with God who lives a double life of sinning and repenting continuously but the truth is that it is killing me because I need God in my life things are difficult for me all my siblings my younger is more smarter taller and more liked than me and gets good grade than me . I myself I'm the older sibling I'm shorter I'm not smart and I don't get good grade and my parents always compare me to my siblings and it hurts to feel like a loser to feel worthless and depressed but I know God loves me and doesn't think I'm worthless so it really hurts to not be close to God but I'm tired of living a false life I'm tired of knowing g the fact that I can't change no matter how much I try and no matter how much I pray sometimes I guess I wasn't meant to be living the Christian Life sorry for the bad spelling and grammar
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
24,526
2,365
113
#2
Welcome to Christian Chat, Emelia. I made this for you:

 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
I'm so sick and tired of my life. I always sin and I mean it's just that I go back and forth, for exampleI Ialways pray and read my Bible but then a week or months later I like I watch inappropriate things and then I am jealous and many moree. I asked God for a change but I am still the same person and I am trying hard not to but I still do, so because of this I feel like maybe I am meant to just be out there living a foolish and sinful life since no matter how I ask God and how I try I always go back to my old ways and that kills me I mean if God knows I'll disappoint him then why did he create me. It makes me so angry to know that I am a filthy sinner who plays with God who lives a double life of sinning and repenting continuously but the truth is that it is killing me because I need God in my life things are difficult for me all my siblings my younger is more smarter taller and more liked than me and gets good grade than me . I myself I'm the older sibling I'm shorter I'm not smart and I don't get good grade and my parents always compare me to my siblings and it hurts to feel like a loser to feel worthless and depressed but I know God loves me and doesn't think I'm worthless so it really hurts to not be close to God but I'm tired of living a false life I'm tired of knowing g the fact that I can't change no matter how much I try and no matter how much I pray sometimes I guess I wasn't meant to be living the Christian Life sorry for the bad spelling and grammar
Hey
So, i wonder how much do you know about the individuals of the bible? Many of the most respected people in the bible were serious sinners. King David had someone murdered out of lust, Peter chopped off someones ear, Abraham and Sarah decided not to wait on God. And more. Look at Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament. He said "i do what i do not want to do, and what i want to do i do not do" Romans 7:15
See, you look at yourself and see that you struggle with sin and put yourself down for that. I look at you and i see someone who desires to live for God and loves God, and i think God sees your heart and is very proud of you. Yes, our actions are important, but where our heart is is more important. Your heart is in the right place, and you need to focus more on that, and less on mistakes. Because you're always going to sin, one way or another. We all do. Some of what you struggle with now, you'll overcome eventually. And some things you may always struggle with, and that's ok. Long as you keep your heart right and do your best God will love seeing that in you and honor it.
And don't compare yourself to your siblings. The smartest, most attractive person means nothing to God. God can use anyone with a heart to obey. Moses had a stutter, for example, and look at the great things God used him for.

I'd encourage you to spend more time learning about the people in the bible and finding verses that build you up, and spend less time comparing yourself to others or spending too much time focusing on what you do wrong. It's good to be aware and acknowledge when we sin, but it's unhealthy and defeating if we dwell on it.
Your heart is in the right place, and that's what matters most to God. Give yourself a break. God has forgiven you, and will continue to do so. Don't ignore that and attempt to undo the work He has done by bringing yourself down. God wants to lift you up and you are fighting Him. God knew every sin you'd ever commit, yet Jesus died for you nonetheless. You can't do anything to surprise God. He knew He'd forgive you long before you were ever born. So relax. (=


God uses.jpg
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,247
276
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#5
You have such a beautiful name Emilia. Don't hate yourself too much when you make a mistake. Forgive yourself and be gentle with yourself because nobody is perfect. Punishing or blaming yourself will not gain anything so avoid it. Focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses or transform them into strengths. Your circumstances will change if you change your attitude so be hopeful and grateful for everything you have. God bless.
 

littlestarsmum

Senior Member
Oct 19, 2016
629
82
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#6
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. I so appreciate your courage to open your heart and reach out for help. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Bible clearly says that we all have sinned. Nobody is perfect. We cannot do anything without His help. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to draw you closer to Himself and provide the help you need in the days ahead. I know it’s not easy, but you can be an overcomer with His help. May He be your ever-present help and may your confidence in His grace and goodness increase as you look to Him in faith. Hugs!
 
Oct 25, 2017
2,037
951
113
#7
Hi!Emilia :) Welcome to CC :)



Sis,I've been there...I know how you feel... For so many years I lived a double life... sinning and feeling sorry and sinning again and feeling sorry again...I've struggled a habitual sin for many years... looking at pornographic materials...my effort to change didn't work out...I hate doing it but I keep on coming back to it...all of my efforts didn't work. Until one day I asked the Lord Jesus I said "Lord I can't do it help me..." Sis We need JESUS to change us our strength is not enough...


I don't look at porn anymore but it didn't happen overnight....I failed,I got up...I failed I got up...but I keep moving forward...little by little with God's help with God's guidance I was able to break free. Praise God!


Give it all to HIM ...seek HIM... along the way God will give you wisdom what to do every time the temptation is there...

Sis ask yourself what is driving u to keep going back to that habitual sin...? Stress? Anger? Low self-esteem? What you can do is find something you can do to not let yourself stay on the corner and feel sorry about yourself...because the enemy will use that to trap you...If you are busy exploring and doing the things you are good at...any inappropriate thoughts have no space in your mind.

I'll pray for you sis :) Jesus will not going to let you go... :)
God sets me free and destroy the chains of pornography that binds me sis :) I believe HE will do the same to you..! In Jesus name! Amen!

God bless you ❤
 

stillness

Senior Member
Jan 28, 2013
726
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#9
I'm so sick and tired of my life. I always sin and I mean it's just that I go back and forth, for exampleI Ialways pray and read my Bible but then a week or months later I like I watch inappropriate things and then I am jealous and many moree. I asked God for a change but I am still the same person and I am trying hard not to but I still do, so because of this I feel like maybe I am meant to just be out there living a foolish and sinful life since no matter how I ask God and how I try I always go back to my old ways and that kills me I mean if God knows I'll disappoint him then why did he create me. It makes me so angry to know that I am a filthy sinner who plays with God who lives a double life of sinning and repenting continuously but the truth is that it is killing me because I need God in my life things are difficult for me all my siblings my younger is more smarter taller and more liked than me and gets good grade than me . I myself I'm the older sibling I'm shorter I'm not smart and I don't get good grade and my parents always compare me to my siblings and it hurts to feel like a loser to feel worthless and depressed but I know God loves me and doesn't think I'm worthless so it really hurts to not be close to God but I'm tired of living a false life I'm tired of knowing g the fact that I can't change no matter how much I try and no matter how much I pray sometimes I guess I wasn't meant to be living the Christian Life sorry for the bad spelling and grammar
It's quite smart of you to figure that we are not able to live as Christ, It's also smart of you to ask for help to see differently here, and it's wise to esteem others like your brother, better than you, but with all you need humility to be tamed as a friend of God: not by your merits, smarts or achievements but by Learning of Him. "Not by might, nor by power but by my Spirit sais the Lord." This will take your whole life, not just the length, but unity in Spirit, "He that is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with Him. I have struggled like you practically my whole life, one important word the Lord told me years ago: Enter in as a little child and put away your divided spirit. We need to enter in and be united and empowered by His Spirit. Paul, near the end of His life, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, from now on there is kept for me a crown of righteousness, and not for me only but for all who lover His appearing."
 

jameen

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2018
512
124
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Manila
#10
I'm so sick and tired of my life. I always sin and I mean it's just that I go back and forth, for exampleI Ialways pray and read my Bible but then a week or months later I like I watch inappropriate things and then I am jealous and many moree. I asked God for a change but I am still the same person and I am trying hard not to but I still do, so because of this I feel like maybe I am meant to just be out there living a foolish and sinful life since no matter how I ask God and how I try I always go back to my old ways and that kills me I mean if God knows I'll disappoint him then why did he create me. It makes me so angry to know that I am a filthy sinner who plays with God who lives a double life of sinning and repenting continuously but the truth is that it is killing me because I need God in my life things are difficult for me all my siblings my younger is more smarter taller and more liked than me and gets good grade than me . I myself I'm the older sibling I'm shorter I'm not smart and I don't get good grade and my parents always compare me to my siblings and it hurts to feel like a loser to feel worthless and depressed but I know God loves me and doesn't think I'm worthless so it really hurts to not be close to God but I'm tired of living a false life I'm tired of knowing g the fact that I can't change no matter how much I try and no matter how much I pray sometimes I guess I wasn't meant to be living the Christian Life sorry for the bad spelling and grammar
It is not enough to pray and read the Bible sister. you must also live by what you read in the Bible.

you will never change if you don't do your part.

My only advise to you is Abstain from every form of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22)

for example you saw a porn movie, instead of looking at it, you will move your eyes there right away.

if for example you saw a bottle of intoxicating wine, instead of holding and wanting to taste it, better stay away from it.

Changing for the better is not only on the part of God but also for your self.

this is the reason why Apostle Paul said to WORK OUT for your own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12)

Work out means you need an effort to do it.