Not doing enough to seek God comparing myself

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M

M1chaeL

Member
#1
Jan 18, 2019
72
50
18
#1
I feel so inactive in actually going to God. I say constantly how much of good idea it is but I don’t do it. I constantly feel nervous of really handing my life over to God when it really is the best choice and I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so annoying making another post, but I feel ashamed because I don’t feel like I could figure this out myself.

With how much he is, and how much I am, I don’t see myself as the person who could be with him. I keep saying “someone else could do that,” or “I’m just not good like they are.”

I’m not someone who reads books, I’m not someone morally good, I’m addicted to worldly things and for someone like me to be with him feels so impossible I want to give up. I lack so much focus, for someone like me to really live for God seems so impossible in my eyes, I feel like it’s always better for someone else.

When I felt very mentally unstable without God in the past, I felt so happy God was there to stay forever, I just worried constantly about whether I would stay, and when summer started and life was easier, I started going back to the old way and I don’t know if I just lost confidence I could really ever stay with him before like I did and all I am is a sinner.

I don’t know if I’m just a selfish liar, saying I don’t feel good enough when in reality I’m just making excuses and confusing myself. As I write this, I want to stop writing to sin, I don’t know if I’m just selfish and stupid wanting to pretend I want to go to God so I could feel better about myself when I’m not trying enough, or if I am really nervous about being good enough.

Sometimes I feel so confusing, I just wish I didn’t exist. I won’t do anything to myself, but I feel upset having to show everyone my bad attitude when I ask for help.

I keep saying ”I’m not someone who gets better, I’m someone who dies,” and I don’t know why I should stay so pessimistic and just not choose him now when I’m so close.

I’m sorry again for making so much posts, I just don’t know what I should do about how inactive I am to go to God when real life is with him.
 
BenFTW

BenFTW

Senior Member
#2
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
33
#2
M1chaeL said:
I feel so inactive in actually going to God. I say constantly how much of good idea it is but I don’t do it. I constantly feel nervous of really handing my life over to God when it really is the best choice and I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so annoying making another post, but I feel ashamed because I don’t feel like I could figure this out myself.

With how much he is, and how much I am, I don’t see myself as the person who could be with him. I keep saying “someone else could do that,” or “I’m just not good like they are.”

I’m not someone who reads books, I’m not someone morally good, I’m addicted to worldly things and for someone like me to be with him feels so impossible I want to give up. I lack so much focus, for someone like me to really live for God seems so impossible in my eyes, I feel like it’s always better for someone else.

When I felt very mentally unstable without God in the past, I felt so happy God was there to stay forever, I just worried constantly about whether I would stay, and when summer started and life was easier, I started going back to the old way and I don’t know if I just lost confidence I could really ever stay with him before like I did and all I am is a sinner.

I don’t know if I’m just a selfish liar, saying I don’t feel good enough when in reality I’m just making excuses and confusing myself. As I write this, I want to stop writing to sin, I don’t know if I’m just selfish and stupid wanting to pretend I want to go to God so I could feel better about myself when I’m not trying enough, or if I am really nervous about being good enough.

Sometimes I feel so confusing, I just wish I didn’t exist. I won’t do anything to myself, but I feel upset having to show everyone my bad attitude when I ask for help.

I keep saying ”I’m not someone who gets better, I’m someone who dies,” and I don’t know why I should stay so pessimistic and just not choose him now when I’m so close.

I’m sorry again for making so much posts, I just don’t know what I should do about how inactive I am to go to God when real life is with him.
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Sin leads to death, is it any wonder that in its entertainment your desire is death? There is no life in sin.

Thank you for your vulnerability. No reason to be upset, you’re looking for help. As for shame, God loves you. Can you understand that even in the midst of your sin, God doesn’t condemn you and still before God are you righteous because of the work of Christ? His blood granted you the remission of your sins. Without Christ you would be condemned, but God loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die for all of your sins.

This isn’t to say that God’s grace is a license to sin. No, but the revelation of His grace allows you to go before God and understand that He isn’t against you. He understands you’re struggling and He knows why you are struggling. Remember too that scripture says that Jesus was tempted in all ways as that we are and yet without sin. It says to approach the throne of grace in time of need. You are in that time of need. Pray.

Look, you may fall sometimes but you have to establish yourself in the total forgiveness of sin you have in Christ, and God’s heart for you. And yes, God wants you to stop entertaining that sin, but more importantly, it’s not because He will condemn you, but because He knows the effect it has on a person’s life. He wants you to choose love, to walk in righteousness so that you can walk in it’s fruits.

Look at the toll it is taking on you. How long will you suffer? Surrender it to God. Ask Him to reveal to you why you are doing what you are doing.

And again, from the other post, learn who God is to you and who you are to God.
 
alistaircook

alistaircook

New member
#3
Jun 14, 2020
14
9
3
#3
I agree with the guy above. I'm not sure if it'll be of any use to you, but I made a long post on When a broken heart turns you gay, your case seems similar to what I experienced a few weeks ago. Your not alone in this sort of stuff. Psalm 6, spoke to me particularly today, as in many ways, I was able to relate to Davids situation.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#4
#4
You sound normal to me. Everyone has the same thoughts when they first start trying to serve God. 2 things that I think might help you get over the hump. 1) The life of serving Christ with 100 percent of your heart is more fun, more exciting, more thrilling than any high, any sin, any video game even, or any entertainment known to man. You just have to experience it and you are hooked.

It is what you THINK you are missing that draws you back to your sins. However what you are really MISSING is the exciting things Jesus has ready for you to experience and explore serving him. You just have not gone deep enough in yet to know what you are MISSING. Once you have experienced that power of the Holy Spirit in you and empowering you to serve Christ you will not want the things you used to do or that are drawing you. They will have no draw. So keep going forward, dive all the way in. Start praying for more than a few minutes, and watch what God will do.

2) So get involved in a great youth group in a church near you. I suggest you google Assemblies of God near me, or Spirit Filled Churches near me. Or On Fire For God Church near me....where many people your age are sold out to Jesus and you can learn the joy of the life of being used by Christ for eternal purposes with a family of brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers who will be there for you for the rest of your life.

Have faith. Believe that God hears you and answer your prayers and start acting like you really believe this stuff. The change will happen SUPER FAST. Every day you will grow by huge leaps in knowledge and Holy Ghost Power.
 
alistaircook

alistaircook

New member
#5
Jun 14, 2020
14
9
3
#5
Watch from 28:30 onward
, I think this will really be a blessing to you, hes talking about Romans 1:5. :)
 
M

mar09

Senior Member
#6
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#6
Hi M1,

Someone gave me a New Testament while i was a student, and in these parts (strictly RC territory), that's really a miracle. I did not always understand, but was faithful to read thru the years. Now that i am old hehe, i can say Its truths was what brought me thru it all. We do not know tomorrow, but since God holds the future, strive to learn of Him who wrote and gave His words for us to know Him more, to grow in Him, and to learn to love and serve others, unlovable just like us-- but for whom the Lord gave His life because He loved us so!
 
Silverwings

Silverwings

Senior Member
#7
Jul 27, 2016
1,368
495
83
#7
You are in good company, Romans 7:19 19For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing.

Struggling with Sin
…18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. 20And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.…

21So this is the principle I have discovered: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law.…

23But I see another law at work in my body, warring against the law of my mind and holding me captive to the law of sin that dwells within me. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?…
Romans 7:25
Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I serve the law of God, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Romans 8:2
For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Galatians 5:17
For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want.
Romans 6:6
We know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.

Romans 8:2
For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:23
Not only that, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Hosea 13:14 14"I will deliver this people from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death. Where, O death, are your plagues? Where, O grave, is your destruction? "I will have no compassion,
2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day.
 
Silverwings

Silverwings

Senior Member
#8
Jul 27, 2016
1,368
495
83
#8
I feel ashamed because I don’t feel like I could figure this out myself.

King James Version 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
 
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