When is a good time to start dating?

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Apr 24, 2017
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#1
I'm only 13, and I am VERY boy crazy... I notice every guy that walks by, and I don't know when I should actually start into a relationship.. Thanks!! :)
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#2
I'm only 13, and I am VERY boy crazy... I notice every guy that walks by, and I don't know when I should actually start into a relationship.. Thanks!! :)
Wait until you are thirty ;) In the meantime, develop any talents you have,
and pursue other Godly life goals that will in the final analysis make you
the catch of the century for the man fortunate enough to win your heart :)
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
65,893
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#3
13 is too young to date. I'd say wait at least until you're 18 or 19.. anything up until then will be a puppy love crush. :)
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
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#6
If I was your dad, NEVER:cool:

Seriously though I have 3 daughters.

One just turned 18, next 15 and last 14.

We have said no boyfriends until 16.

But also have explained what a relationship is all about.

Listen to Magenta.

Sow now for the future.

God has a husband for you. Don't rush, and trust God.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#7
Thanks for the advice! :)
You are welcome :) I was being a bit facetious to say wait until you are thirty, because many young people cannot wait to do grown up things, of which finding a life partner is counted among. The problem that some encounter is placing too much hope in a person who is unsuitable for any number of reasons, but they will hang on for dear life, often doing great damage to themselves in the process.

At your age, generally speaking, boys are not as mature as you are, for starters. An overly obsessive fixation on finding a boyfriend may seem normal, but can also be unhealthy. At your age, no doubt many soul-destroying temptations are being placed in front of you. My hope for you is that you see them for what they are, and not compromise your values in order to fit in and/or appease your peers. Sin looks like fun only to the uninitiated. I would encourage you to find wholesome outlets for your youthful energy ;)
 

Stranger36147

Senior Member
Jun 13, 2015
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#8
Even at 30, there are probably many people that age that are still not mature and ready for a serious relationship. I think I can definitely include myself as one of these people.
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
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#9
I remember being 13. That alone is a miracle - :cool: Smile. But, I also strongly remember my "Puppy love" experience (as it has been labelled). To me it was not considered puppy love at 13, however, it was called a real authentic full-fledged "Love". The reason two different people term it differently, I suppose, is because of wisdom that only experience and time give us in life. Knowing that fact as a 13 year old will give you guidance if you decide to accept it. You can be real with the feelings God has let you start sensing, but you will be ahead of the game if you lay dating alongside with your life on the alter - and practice righteousness (or a proper relationship with God thru Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit).

It's funny to me, now, how when I was younger I would say things like, "She is the one - I truly love her!!" At the time I was being honest, but later I realized that the relationship as a whole was not yet real as I had imagined, because God had yet shown me what a real relationship was concerning love and that specific person. As a part of wisdom and fact - the picture was only partly painted at 13. But one thing is true - I will never forget my love's at 13 (oh, yah, I had many!!). They were as real as anything in my life. It was the conclusions about them I had to wait on the Lord for. And that is hard at 13 I know. Even harder at 18 to be patient with God to be honest...

But I encourage you to practice being patient and humble in Christ (that life of practicing righteousness), and wait on Him to show you the reality in any and every relationship. Just as the right relationship with Christ generates a Christian young person, so the proper relationship with the Holy Spirit breeds a proper relationship with all other people in the dating atmosphere."

Obey your parents and honor them, for this is proper, yet your first love of course needs to be Christ. When you have the proper relationship there - all things turn out good for those who love Him. Don't look for a magical answer. For instance: "What year is the proper year to start dating etc etc" but rather look to Him for all of your questions to be answered. Your feelings are real, start there with Him and let Him show you the way. Guard your heart and mind, and be careful not to place yourself in environments that propagate temptation to carry itself out in its demands making you doubt God, and keeping you separated and adrift from God's voice and power spiritually and behaviorally.

Thanks for your honesty, its a good question! I pray God develops your love life in a way that prospers you in Christ; after all He created it!
 
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EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
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#11
Wait until you are sure you are ready to be married and have a family. Otherwise, you're just playing around and begging for trouble. Think about it long and hard before you get even slightly involved with anyone. Handling a heart is serious business. If you jump into something too quickly, and then it doesn't work out because of maturity or circumstance, someone will be hurt. You don't need to do that to yourself, or anyone else.

In short, probably 18 or 19 if your are a mature sort of person. But with today's trends, you should probably wait till you're in your 20's. I was your age, seems like last year. And I am SO glad I wasn't given the chance to do any stupid crap back then. Save your sanity, you'll need it.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#13
Hey JesusIsMyKing! Welcome :).

As you've already seen, you're gonna get a wide variety of answers on here! lol. But in all seriousness, being boy crazy is a normal thing for every girl your age, but it is a terrible reason to be thinking about dating :p. It is a normal hormonal reaction, so don't think you're strange or anything! But it is something we need to learn to control a lot more before we think about getting serious with anyone. God wants you to focus on your relationship with HIM right now, and let the rest of that come later.

Dating at young ages causes a lot of heartache, I think. You'll have some people who disagree, but I would say no dating until the end of high school, as a general rule. Dating (as EmilyNats touched on), is a step towards marriage, and at your age, girls simply are not ready for that!

I don't know if you have parents or what they think of dating, but if they have guidelines, follow them :). They know you the best of anyone, and they have your best interests in mind.
 
Apr 24, 2017
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#14
Thanks! I do have parents who have said at least 17. And I will obey that but just wanted another opinion.
 
Apr 24, 2017
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#15
I crushed on a boy for a long time, only to find out that he never even liked me...
 

Stranger36147

Senior Member
Jun 13, 2015
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#16
I crushed on a boy for a long time, only to find out that he never even liked me...
Well, that stinks. I know how that feels, sister. I've had the same thing happen to me more than once. Just know you're not alone.

I'm sure you'll find a special guy one day. :)
 
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EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
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#17
Everyone, pretty much, has had a crush by the time they reached your age. It's okay to have crushes! Just be careful that you don't allow them to entice you to do silly things. Don't worry about this kid who doesn't like you. There are literally MILLIONS more where he came from.
 
Apr 24, 2017
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#18
I've been noticing a boy, but I'm trying to guard my heart and just be friends for now.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#19
(waits to give teens room to speak in the teens forum on this subject)
 

EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
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#20
I've been noticing a boy, but I'm trying to guard my heart and just be friends for now.
I like how you say "noticing a boy" lol. But keep guarding your heart, for about the next five years. It really isn't as long as it sounds.