All aboard the “I’m a nobody in this world’s eyes” train

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,307
113
30
Arizona
#1
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
33,571
11,332
113
66
Tennessee
#2
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
Forgetting about the eyes of the world, what's your own personal opinion of yourself? All of those items can, with the grace of God and determination on your part, be changed in a positive way. I would start at the bottom of your list and ask God to help you become motivated to make the necessary changes and then take it from there.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,196
6,759
113
#3
Creative
Artsy
Talented
Kind
Best smile
Honest
Sister in Christ

Just a few words to describe how I see you.

Ok, now I do not want to make you uncomfortable with encouragement, no matter how true it is (which it is 100% truth)!!

So to answer your question, Yes, I am so guilty of comparing in many different ways. I tend to elevate and admire ppl too much. He is teaching me, though, in my ripened years (I am obtuse and stubborn), to exalt Him only. This helps me to not do that so much. I am learning there is a line not to be crossed. It is good and even biblical to see the good in others but NOT good putting them on a pedestal.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,640
113
#4
I'm going to step outside the feelings thing. I have read your posts and see a person with a kind heart, good sense of humour and insight. Now I read what you are saying. What strikes me is that you sound depressed. Instead of lazy, it sounds more like being stuck. Instead of unmotivated it sounds like despair. If I was you, and I have been in the vacuum, I would have a real talk with my doctor. I don't mean go in their smiling and laughing. Don't laugh. Don't make jokes. Don't say everything is fine. Get the doctor to listen. Look him/her in the eye and say that you are not coping. You know something is wrong. You know that the real you would do anything to help a friend or protect an animal in danger (I'm going by the evidence I've what I've read). You are feeling lost. In truth I think that we can all feel a little lost, and will until we get home. The world's standards are not heavenly values. Look at what is happening right now. All the people we really need are not the top wage earners. The important people are not treated by the world like they are important. Someone who produces food, can make repairs, sells us food, can reduce a fever or provide transportation are our heroes. The world won't tell you that.
So, the world's measure of success doesn't equate to importance.
How your feel doesn't necessarily reflect your value.
Feelings can lie.
Struggles to cope can be medical and deserve to be explored by professionals rather than assumptions be made about you.
You give and care and contribute here and we thank you.
Hugs, laughingheart
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
978
279
63
34
#6
Quote from 1 of my friends who is a pro-gamer - "The world is a noob".
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
34,029
11,766
113
#7
It is good to know your limitations, and expectations, and what motivates you. Beyond that, from a Biblical point of view, there are none good. Comparing myself to others may have an upside if I am able to make an effort to become more like those whom I admire. Change takes time, determination, and discipline. One thing I know about myself is that I am not a very disciplined person. Routine and organization are important to me, but are seemingly applied only in specific areas of my life, and only sporadically in others. Can I change this? Certainly with determination and motivation I can, especially if I keep my expectations in check.

Focusing too much on the negatives about myself is depressing, and self-defeatist, especially when not balanced with acknowledging my assets. I have a hard time making positive statements about myself, because I know my defects too well, yet my tendency to introspection and self reflection cannot operate in a vacuum. In other words, I need input from others whom I trust to tell me the truth of what they see, not just about me, but a bigger picture, and our reason for hope. And that presents another dilemma, because others have their own agendas and motivations that may not always come from a good place. Always discernment is necessary.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
2,143
936
113
mywebsite.us
#8
Don't worry too much darlin' - at least you can get off the train ----- I'm the conductor - virtually dedicated to that train - and, it follows me around wherever I go...

;):)
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
11,145
2,865
113
#9
Forgetting about the eyes of the world, what's your own personal opinion of yourself? All of those items can, with the grace of God and determination on your part, be changed in a positive way. I would start at the bottom of your list and ask God to help you become motivated to make the necessary changes and then take it from there.
===========================================================
great Post and great Advice = it's so good to think that you have quit smoking'...we both pray to God
that this is true...
:):)
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
11,145
2,865
113
#10
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
=========================================
a True Christian is to look at themselves 'through God's eyes', because they have surrendered themselves to
His Will and not their own...if or when we see that this is NOT the case, then we need to re-define our own
concept of who we 'think' we are...Solomon was 'interested' in everything that lived, and he studied them all,
to see and feel the wonderful 'Works of God'...are we, as God's chosen, called, elect, to do anything less???
ECC. 9:10.
Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge,
nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
11,145
2,865
113
#11
thank you Artsie,
:):) -
'I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now'.....
we must become as little children again, in order to obey our Heavenly Father...
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,614
1,095
113
#12
Umm...I thought you had a job?

I have 6 of those on the list loosely. I'm not overweight but I am incredibllllllly out of shape which is not practically good stewardship. I got winded just using a hand truck for some potting soil for my mom and my legs were on FIRE.

Finally though late last night I did 10 pushups...I barely made it.




I like to think...and I don't think it's a false sense of security...the Lord is doing something and while there is some truth in our uncomfortability and self-consciousness about our shortcomings, he is doing a work :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,750
4,057
113
#13
Importance and success are defined by objectives. It can be really hard to care about being important, making money, losing weight, etc. when the only objective is "I need to do this because people think I'm a loser if I don't."

When you have a reason to do something, it's a lot easier to do.
- I have a job because I will be very hungry if I don't.
- I started biking to the job because I want to be able to do what needs to be done, and gaining a lot of weight would interfere with that.
- I get stuff done at church and on the job because I care about it being done, not because I want to be seen as important.

If my only reason for doing any of these things was making somebody else think better of me I wouldn't care enough to bother with it, but my reasons don't have anything to do with the opinions of others. My motivation comes from reasons that matter to ME. I don't give a fart in a whirlwind about money itself, or about looking good, or about being important - but in the process of taking care of the things that matter to me I do make money, I am looking better than I was before I started biking and I have become somewhat important on the job and at church.

"Unmotivated" and "lazy" are words for "I don't have a reason to care about that." They are also what people call you when they think you should care about something, but you don't think you should care.

The first step is to sort out what is really important to you. Then identify why it is important. When you understand why it matters to you, it's a lot easier to care enough to get motivated to do something about it.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,750
4,057
113
#14
Short version: Ignore what is important to everybody else. Focus on what is important to you. Then you'll find the motivation to do something about it.
 
Mar 10, 2020
61
34
18
#15
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
Now, I am only saying this because I care and I too struggle with some of what you listed. The first thing you need to do is stop feeling sorry for yourself. We all compare ourselves to the worlds standards at times and everytime we are left feeling like we will never be good enough. Then, try and find out if the depression you are dealing with is a medical problem. I've been on antidepressants to help with this and it does take time to find the right one that works. Then, go and do something that helps other people go and volunteer. I realize right now that's kind of hard because places are not letting in the general public, but i remember from years past (I used to have another account here) that you love to draw. Then why don't you go to these assisted living places and do an art type program for them? I know some places would pay you $100 per afternoon. I get its not a lot of money but its still something and do a part time job on the side even if its working at McDonald's.

Now, I found a lot of my issues are related to my traumatic brain injury so I don't feel energized to do most things. So my suggestion is go see a doctor and see if some of this is a medical imbalance. I hope you remember that you are a creation of God and no one in this world knows what a piece of art he created you to be so their judgements do not hold any weight.
 

Descyple

Senior Member
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#16
Here is a meaningful and encouraging sermon by Steve Lawson about how God often uses "Nobodies" to fulfill His great plans.

 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,628
9,288
113
#17
Here is a meaningful and encouraging sermon by Steve Lawson about how God often uses "Nobodies" to fulfill His great plans.


Hey you!! Haven't seen you on here in a loonngg time. How are ya? :)
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,628
9,288
113
#19
Hey Ladybug. Good to see you. I'm well, thank you. Hope you are doing good too.
I'm well also, thanks. Getting tired of this month-to-month quarantine though.