Breaking point

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Dec 26, 2017
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#1
Hi everyone!

It’s been awhile since I have been onhere. My life has been crazy, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety severely. I have been getting counseling and even medication treatments. I have noticed through all of this I have neglected God. I have done wrong things, I been deliberate sin.... I have gone suck astray I’m even ashamed at myself.. when at this time I should be drawing closer to God! I feel absolutely so down, so disgusted... and I honestly feel God hates me and everything is going wrong. My marriage, work, children... I just want God back in my I want God to forgive me.. and start new... I’m not sure on how to do this? And honestly I’m ashamed...... I mean truly... sorry about the punctuation, and length
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,290
705
113
#2
No need to apologize. Come as you are at the feet of the Lord, ask for forgiveness and wisdom what to do next... God does forgive, right? Seek His Kingdom and righteousness by Getting back to His word daily, and find good fellowship w/ other believers, even here on CC.

In prayers.
 
Dec 26, 2017
415
72
28
#3
No need to apologize. Come as you are at the feet of the Lord, ask for forgiveness and wisdom what to do next... God does forgive, right? Seek His Kingdom and righteousness by Getting back to His word daily, and find good fellowship w/ other believers, even here on CC.

In prayers.
Thank you very very much! I appreciate you even replying! Yes please keep me in your prayers I’m struggling
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
470
285
63
#4
Sounds like some fasting and reading the word could benefit you...

Sometimes the Lord appears distant, in my experience it's the conscious choice to draw near is when he reciprocates. There are times I feel forgiven and times I don't forgive myself and project that unforgiveness onto the Lord. I don't think it is accurate but times where I am incredibly hard on myself it could be why I feel that way. Probably is. Forgiving yourself is hard and it's something to fast/pray about.

Forgiveness is there...think about the forgiveness that you give a child for when they mess up. Even if you are in an unforgiving state with your children (no idea if you are) there would still be times in the past to recall where you were overflowing with patience, love, and forgetting their errors.

Sometimes we have to stew and meditate/pray on it. Be concentrated and intentional about what you need and frankly amazing results occur to the point where I cannot begin to discount the Lord's providence within such moments personally.



Don't get hung up on meditation. We are to meditate on the word. I'm not suggesting mantras or emptying your mind...just to focus on what matters to you. Take a look at some of the wounds that deliberate sins have caused (sometimes these are hard to see). We pain the Lord when we do that, the cross wasn't pleasant...repentance for me is apologizing and turning...but I occasionally need to be concentrated with how I do so. To also recognize that some things will forever change my relationship with the Lord. It won't be the same...that's alright, he makes all things new.

It's been odd going through the highs and lows in life with him...sometimes I just want to go back to just laying out in nature and just spending "quiet time". Been through too much to do that much anymore, he doesn't change...but we do. <3
 
Dec 26, 2017
415
72
28
#5
Sounds like some fasting and reading the word could benefit you...

Sometimes the Lord appears distant, in my experience it's the conscious choice to draw near is when he reciprocates. There are times I feel forgiven and times I don't forgive myself and project that unforgiveness onto the Lord. I don't think it is accurate but times where I am incredibly hard on myself it could be why I feel that way. Probably is. Forgiving yourself is hard and it's something to fast/pray about.

Forgiveness is there...think about the forgiveness that you give a child for when they mess up. Even if you are in an unforgiving state with your children (no idea if you are) there would still be times in the past to recall where you were overflowing with patience, love, and forgetting their errors.

Sometimes we have to stew and meditate/pray on it. Be concentrated and intentional about what you need and frankly amazing results occur to the point where I cannot begin to discount the Lord's providence within such moments personally.



Don't get hung up on meditation. We are to meditate on the word. I'm not suggesting mantras or emptying your mind...just to focus on what matters to you. Take a look at some of the wounds that deliberate sins have caused (sometimes these are hard to see). We pain the Lord when we do that, the cross wasn't pleasant...repentance for me is apologizing and turning...but I occasionally need to be concentrated with how I do so. To also recognize that some things will forever change my relationship with the Lord. It won't be the same...that's alright, he makes all things new.

It's been odd going through the highs and lows in life with him...sometimes I just want to go back to just laying out in nature and just spending "quiet time". Been through too much to do that much anymore, he doesn't change...but we do. <3
Thank you so much, I know I can definitely be hard on myelf but I just know I deserve it especially deliberately disappointing God it’s definitely a let down.

It’s like I want to live right, love holy, love obediently, I just mess up and it stresses me out soooo much.

I definitely need to fast and pray, I’m still new to fasting and praying. Even with fasting in the past I feel I didn’t do it accurate.


Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! I appreciate you very much ☺️