Breakup: could use some encouragement

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princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
0
#21
Have you thought about seeing a school counselor about this? It would help to talk to someone about your feelings and emotions before they take it's toll on you.

I promise, you will find someone who will treat you like the princess that you are, just keep on holding to your faith
Hi..no I haven't seen a counselor because God is my only one! I know he is the only one that can heal me...also I do not want to be open with this issue as it can get the man in trouble as he was so much older when we dated. Even though he treated me so badly and told me the new girl is better than me...I do not want to harm or hurt him in any way so I will just leave my feelings and emotions to God...hoping he will help me move past this ASAP
 
S

SweetmorningDew78

Guest
#24
Hey...thank you so much for ur advice! im glad I found this website so that people like u can help me feel better and give me hope:) As days ago by, I do feel slightly better although I do miss him a lot...not sure why tho after the way he treated me. Today was the first day after we broke up that I didn't message him and it was so hard! not having this person in my life is so painful but knowing hes with another girl right now makes it a whole lot worse. Thank you for helping me and im sure God has a purpose and plan for ur life! He is going to bring the right man at the right time...someone who loves u and loves God as well! :) U sound like an amazing person:) Keep being an example of Jesus to everyone u meet and dont give up on God's plan for ur life!
Glory be to God and you are welcome Princess ❤ sorry for my late reply :) you seem really mature for your age Princess :) glad to know that you feel better now just be patient with yourself :)


Thank you so much for your encouragement ❤ I appreciate it ❤ May God's blessings be upon you and may God comfort you when you are sad. See you around lil sis :)
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
300
11
18
#25
Hi Princess,
wow 10 years older at 17? yeah leaving God out of the equation is a garenteed disaster.
Secret relationships are never a good idea, it looks like you have something to hide. Plus, it means you can't turn to anyone when you need advice or help with your relationship, and if you knew your parents wouldn't approve, than I can honestly say that God was not in it.

I totally understand your problem though, being young and looking for love. I made the same mistake when I was 17 going to meet a girl I met online just after my parents kicked me out of the house, and neither one of us came from a Christian home.

wow, um He litterally said those things? than why did he want to get back together with you for the second time? and what made him think those things?

What kind of guy are you dating? and why would you want a relationship with a guy like that? Honestly, if your too immature for him, and he doesnt love you as much. I can tell you right now you two were not meant to be together.
A guy that hurts you this much on purpose is not a guy you want to be involved with. Yeah if he found someone else, it would be wise to forgive him for his wicked ways and move on yourself, otherwise he is just going to keep playing these games with you.

I'm not going to lie to you, I was a troubled child, did things I'm not proud of, made my fair share of mistakes, didn't grow up in a Christian home, and then got diagnosed with a mental illness after I got kicked out of the house and by God's standards and by mens standards, I'm still a far better guy than the guy you've been dating.

Since he is a friend of the family, just treat him like an acquantance. Don't waste you'r time on him, and if you do see him, just keep your distance, say hi, how are you? and don't do any where past that. Just be polite and curtious to him when and if you see him, but don't go out of your way for him.

Yeah what he has done, is a clear indication that he may infact be a wolf in sheeps clothing. I can't see anything that would indicate that he is a Christian based upon what you wrote. Look Princess I know you feel helpless, but you'r not helpless, Look at the bright side of this, he is someone elses problem now. You can ask God for wisdom and guidance and look for a man that will love you the way God intends, and treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.

Ever heard the saying good riddens to bad rubbish? You sound like a very sweet young woman, with a big caring heart, don't let one jerk ruin that. Praise God he is gone and moved on and you can find a better man who is worth his weight in gold.

Hey guys,

I could really use some advice/encouragement rn at this hard time. Let me explain my story so you know what's going on. I have been dating a guy for around 3 years, a guy who was 10 years older to me. I was 15 when I met him and dated him at 17. He was from my church, christian, smart, funny and most of all, loved God. Knowing my parents would disapprove, I was in a "secret" relationship with him, in which he told me not to tell my family or things would end. I loved him more than anything....my first love, put my heart fully towards him and in the process, left God out of it. Through the relationship, he told me that I was the girl he was going to marry, that God sent me to him and would read me the relationship verses in the Bible. Being so young, and even now at 19, I still dont understand why my life led up to this point.

This year, he broke up with me 2 times then came back. During the breakups, he claimed that I was too controlling, manipulating, dint want him to live his life and most of all didn't "care" bout him..when I was literally hiding my whole life from my family. I would lie, sneak out and do all sorts of stuff to meet him so I could make him happy. Distance and age would not allow us to hang as much or know each others friends...also the secret thing.

last month, he broke up with me and claimed all these things I did wrong. He blamed me completely for the breakup and told me he made a mistake being with me. He said he didn't love me "as much" in the second and third year. He said im too immature and he wants to settle down and get married.(hes 29 now). A week after we broke up he went on a date. Today, being a month later he decided to tell me he is dating someone and really likes her. They might get engaged next year. Im broken, devastated and feel so betrayed for being left like this. After all my lying, sneaking and trying to please him, he just left me...the one person I trusted the most in my entire life. He is with someone else in 1 month guys!!!! I thought being christian, he wouldnt have done something like that to me or Hurt me like this. I trust in God and know that he is out of my life for a reason....but I get anxious and depressed with the thought of him being with someone else. Especially cause its so soon.

I dont know how I will see his wedding pics...engagement...whatever else. He is a family friend btws making this situation a whole lot worse than it is. I feel helpless.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,165
206
63
#26
The deception is way more concerning than the age difference.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
525
18
18
#27
From the sound of it, you're much better off without him. HE sounds like a true game-player, and a manipulative one at that. He's almost 30, you're only 19 and he's old enough to be your uncle.. :/ In a way, he's right: you are too immature for him at this age. He's a grown man, and you're a young girl. But he is immature also, so don't feel bad. Be thankful that God took you away from this jerk, and a lifetime of regret.. God has something better in mind for you, I guarantee it. :)
Gotta agree with blue he sounds like a stereotypical wannabe Christian guy who thinks marriage is all about being happy and love is just some stupid feeling you get your better off without him. I would use this time to get closer to God and try to cultivate a relationship with him. I would aslo try to leave relationships alone for a while hiding things from your parents and being that obssessed with someone isn't healthy and it could just be an idol so i thibk it was for the best but regardless you can get through this and the Lord will support you just put him first and all the other things will be added unto you God bless.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
0
#28
Gotta agree with blue he sounds like a stereotypical wannabe Christian guy who thinks marriage is all about being happy and love is just some stupid feeling you get your better off without him. I would use this time to get closer to God and try to cultivate a relationship with him. I would aslo try to leave relationships alone for a while hiding things from your parents and being that obssessed with someone isn't healthy and it could just be an idol so i thibk it was for the best but regardless you can get through this and the Lord will support you just put him first and all the other things will be added unto you God bless.
Thanks:) yes im trying my best to get over him...although it is really hard...I always think bout this other girl he's dating...it sucks..especially cause I feel she is someone I probably knew about....and he must have been talking to her while he was dating me. I just have a question tho...why is it after all this...im the one who's sad and he is happy...dating someone...and enjoying his life...I find that to be a bit unfair..it should be the other way around.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,342
1,286
113
#29
He's happy because he is a player and enjoys it, and doesn't give a dang about anyone's feelings except his own. Stop thinking about her, because most likely when he tires of her, he'll do the same thing and dump her for his next flavor of the moment.. Just be glad that you see him for who he really is, and that now you're (hopefully) wise enough not to fall for that kind of guy ever again..


Thanks:) yes im trying my best to get over him...although it is really hard...I always think bout this other girl he's dating...it sucks..especially cause I feel she is someone I probably knew about....and he must have been talking to her while he was dating me. I just have a question tho...why is it after all this...im the one who's sad and he is happy...dating someone...and enjoying his life...I find that to be a bit unfair..it should be the other way around.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
0
#30
He's happy because he is a player and enjoys it, and doesn't give a dang about anyone's feelings except his own. Stop thinking about her, because most likely when he tires of her, he'll do the same thing and dump her for his next flavor of the moment.. Just be glad that you see him for who he really is, and that now you're (hopefully) wise enough not to fall for that kind of guy ever again..
lol yeh I try not to think bout her...I just feel used so I always get reminded of our memories and how he isn't there for me anymore....idk if hes gona leave her considering he is desperate to get married and said he is gona get engaged to her next year. I just don't want to have to know how his life turns out next year and I probably will end up knowing cause of the family friends thing....but I haven't talked to him for about 5 days now...its great how Jesus is helping me cope with this and filling my heart with his love and peace. I never thought I would be able to live without this man or live without messaging him but God is amazing:)