dating a non christian?

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princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
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#1
What are u guys thoughts on a Christian dating a non christian?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,355
113
#2
Heartbreak as a result of being unequally yoked.
 
P

pckts

Guest
#5
I never want to do it again, I pray to God for the resolve not to never subject myself to it again. Don't date them:

You can't convert them, I've tried

I thought, I wasn't so bad when I was an unbeliever and I eventually converted, so why can't they? You can tell them all about The Truth and they might even agree with you, but they won't retain it or have any interest in it. You realize there was a reason you became/are a believer, something you can't give to others or show them how to find or develop. There conscience is weak, and there lesser impulses are strong, low levels of Holy Spirit.

They do not understand right from wrong

You will be periodically shocked at how self-centered, immature,confused, and misguided they are. The worst part is The Bible has no effect on them, so you can't even reason with them. If you show a Christian a verse that shuns their behavior, they can't argue with The Bible and should be willing to change. With an unbeliever it becomes a battle of emotions, and they will lie and justify their behavior any way they can reason with their worldly faculties.

Worldly Desires Come First, lying, manipulating, anything is permitted

They have no Higher beliefs, all they have is lower ones. There is no higher authority to tell them what they are doing is wrong, so all their actions become about getting what they want. Money, sex, material desires, idol worship, you may be placed below or on equal importance with these things. Your love or hope for love will leave you vulnerable to being manipulated and lied to.

Nothing is Sacred

If you want your marriage and intimacy to be beyond the physical, they have little reason to treat it as such. The divorce, infidelity and single parent rates are high largely to do with God not being involved in these matters. When everything is boiled down to tradition, social pressure, and instinct, you lose everything important and what keeps this things stable and meaningful. Do you want your children to be Christians? An unbeliever parent will test and confuse them.

They have no Way, Truth, or Light

When they experience hardship or are tested, they do not have Christ. They may become depressed, irritable, irrational, angry. When they are tested they may be broken or resort to sin, and who knows if they will find their way out of it. Who knows how they will handle aging or mortality? Will they put their body above their soul they may or may not believe in? Will they take the mark of the beast or adopt liberal policies you don't agree with? Sin will enter your world through them.

Do you want someone to go to Church and Talk about The Bible with?

If you want your faith to be a large part of your life, and beyond a "hobby", you need your partner to actively participate and help you grow. An unbeliever will distract you from your commitments and duties, may even try to get you to abandoned them.
1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

And you will also be around there heathen friends too.

God doesn't want you to do this, It's very clear in The Bible


Magenta already said it


2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?



They are "great" unbelievers out there you are attracted to, and Christians you are not attracted to. A healthy and strong relationship goes beyond just attraction alone, especially with time, and you need God present in it. You need to find someone you are attracted to that is also a devout Christian, then maybe in this sinful and corrupted world your relationship can stand a chance and you can experience lasting love. And you need all the help you can get to save your soul, you don't want to be attached to a sinner and dragged to hell with them.
 
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majem

Junior Member
Nov 29, 2017
4
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0
#6
The word of God is clear that we should not be unequallyyoked with unbeliever.
The truth is that every relationship will pass through fireand turbulent period but what will keep you afloat is your faith in God. Now,if you date or marry someone that do not share your faith with you, I'm sorrynothing will keep you afloat.
They don't have it and can't give it. They will not be ableto walk with your Christian journey and will even likely be a hindrance.
It is like embarking on a gambling that the end is known-failure and trouble.
It is not worth it, flee.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,857
823
113
#7
Lets say you date, and one day that dating leads to marriage. And that marriage to kids.
Now, even in the best case scenario, lets say, up to this point the marriage has been wonderful. He's a decent man that respects what you believe and never gives you trouble over your beliefs. Never cheats. Everything is as it should be, or so you think.
Firstly, how can this Godless man be the head of your household and love you as Christ loves the church? How can he seek God's guidance for his family?
Second, if you do have kids, now what? This is often times where marriage to non-Christians falls apart. You want to raise them as Christians, he wants to let them choose and not have any beliefs 'pushed' on them. This is often the case. Sometimes Christians simply compromise and don't actively teach their kids about God. Or they feel they have to 'sneak' teaching them, which, of course, will be found out, and cause trouble.

Lets say you are able to raise your kids as Christians, now how do you handle teaching your kids 'daddy is going to hell'? Because, lets face it, that's going to be the truth. Why put kids in a situation where they know you, a Christian, picked someone to marry knowing that person is going to hell? It WILL have to come up eventually. How will you explain that? Will you tell them it was God's will? Is that the way you want your kids to perceive God? Or would you rather try to explain to them it was something you chose? How will you explain that?

Will you, either alone, or with kids, want to go to church each week alone? Because your husband has decided to stay at home.

Or perhaps you will be a 'missionary dater' and only go out with people with the intent of changing them. That's a guaranteed fail for a relationship.
Or you will only agree to marry them if they get saved. So they either lie, to pacify you, and you find out the truth after you're married and realize you were lied to. Otherwise they get angry at you for attempting to force them to believe what you believe. They reject you, and now your witness of God is one of a user and manipulator that tries to emotionally blackmail people.

As you can see, these are just a Few of the possible issues that can come up. The number of successful marriages to non-Christians is more failure than success. Chances of this working out is slim. And to believe this is something God will endorse and want is laughable.
 

anerlogios

Junior Member
Mar 2, 2017
16
1
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#8
Too often Christians learn a hard lesson when dating a non-Christian. However, I've seen people who call themselves Christian even marrying a non-Christian...of course these are non-dedicated Christians (if there is such a thing).
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,685
489
83
Germany
#9
It can work. Depends on the person
 

majem

Junior Member
Nov 29, 2017
4
0
0
#10
it can work depending on the person? The totality of person is a fuction of a lot of input starting from the foundation, up-bringing, beliefs, experience , exposure etc. It will take the Grace of God for anyone without Christ in all of this factors to live and share in the Christian values .

The big question is ''is it worth it''?


A man should first be converted because of his personal conviction and not because he want to have a relationship with a believer. Anything short of that is a risk that I believe is not worth it.

Joy and happiness that marriage should bring should not be traded on the altar of emotions and feelings that can vanish like bubbles.
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
1,133
308
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#11
If God says dont then we don't...xox...:)...

2 Corinthians 6:14 [FONT=&quot]Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?...[/FONT]
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,685
489
83
Germany
#12
If God says dont then we don't...xox...:)...

2 Corinthians 6:14 [FONT=&quot]Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?...[/FONT]
1 Cor 7:14

New International Version
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
4,912
954
113
#13
1 Cor 7:14

New International Version
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
in context though

is it not first giving advice to those who are in the faith (what rose said)

and then telling those who have already married
it is better to stay in marriage? (the verse you posted)


it is better if you are in the faith to not "date" or marry someone in unbelief


but if you are married to a non-believer
do not divorce for their unbelief but know your marriage is sanctified on account of the faith of one



you aren't wrong when you say it can work

but it is not wise if you have the option
 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
4,912
954
113
#14
in context though

is it not first giving advice to those who are in the faith (what rose said)

and then telling those who have already married
it is better to stay in marriage? (the verse you posted)


it is better if you are in the faith to not "date" or marry someone in unbelief


but if you are married to a non-believer
do not divorce for their unbelief but know your marriage is sanctified on account of the faith of one



you aren't wrong when you say it can work

but it is not wise if you have the option
well chronologically actually its reversed lol

first remain faithful in marriage

and then the advice on if you should marry someone who didnt believe
 

MichaelOwen

Senior Member
Nov 6, 2017
833
142
43
#15
The Word is very clear on not being unequally yoked with a non-believer, because so many things can arise out of that situation, and the biggest thing I believe the Lord knows is the couple will never be truly happy. We know that things brought together by God are eternal. But on the one hand, I do believe that if a person is patient enough and waits upon the Lord, He will send the right man or woman into their lives. And sometimes, it MAY BE a non-believer, and that is for the other who walks in the Light of the Lord to shine their light to the other.

But we as Christians will know them by their fruits. Never the less, if you're going to date someone, you truly want to know whether that person is saved or not. To me, it's a big deal, because if a person doesn't love Christ first, how can they love anything else?
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,685
489
83
Germany
#16
in context though

is it not first giving advice to those who are in the faith (what rose said)

and then telling those who have already married
it is better to stay in marriage? (the verse you posted)


it is better if you are in the faith to not "date" or marry someone in unbelief


but if you are married to a non-believer
do not divorce for their unbelief but know your marriage is sanctified on account of the faith of one



you aren't wrong when you say it can work

but it is not wise if you have the option
Do a study on what marriage is according to the bible and then ull understand why i posted that verse :)
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
0
#17
No I was just wondering what other's opinions are! I would never give up Jesus for anything...I do know a few people who are dating non christians and are happy tho
 

DaveTheRave

Senior Member
May 28, 2014
125
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#18
The thing is it will probably be fine for the first while but eventually, you will HAVE to make a compromise on something. You can either focus on God and not share everything with your partner or you can focus more on him and kind of let your faith become stale.
The great thing about dating another Christian is that you don't have to make that compromise because you can be following after God AND also have a more intimate relationship with your partner because you can be honestly yourself around them.

The reason God says things like "don't be unequally yoked" is not to ruin your fun or anything like that, God loves you and wants you to have a really fulfilling life. :)

That's how I always reasoned this topic anyway :)
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#19
It can work if the non Christian does not insist you give up your faith, or if he does not despise you and think you are stupid for believing in Christ. If he holds you in contempt for your faith, he will always think you are “less than”. He will think you silly and gullible and that you need to lose your beliefs.
 

Prov910

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2017
880
43
0
#20
Dating a non-Christian could be an opportunity to convert someone who perhaps had not considered Christianity.

My wife did not grow up in a Christian family and was not a Christian when we started dating. I let her know that for us to ever get married she'd need to convert. We married. She is a Christian now, and actually has a job at the church. I'm working on her family now.
 
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