How can I love and fear God?
I’m advance, I’m sorry for how rebellious and foolish I act. I’ve been so confused and hope in venting someone can help me understand, so I can grow in my relationship with Jesus.
Before I met God, I was scared of existence and a coward when it came to pain.
Knowing how God always loved me and cared for me comforted me and helped me want to devote my life to Him and avoid my suicidal feelings.
I just worry so much that I’m not like other Christians.
They seem so tough and determined, they hope for the rapture soon, but I worry so much about the unbelievers getting hurt for eternity.
On a Christian server somewhere, an atheist and admin got into an argument and the admin banned the atheist calling them evil, and afterwards saying something like “Moron.” or “fool” but I just kept feeling so sad and miserable for the the atheist. The admin knew more about the Bible than me, and he was clearly smart, but he treated atheists like bugs on his shoe the more he heard them talk. Yes, they were foolish in their words, yes they want to sin, but I wanted the admin to be patient so the atheist could understand. Atheists are in so much danger of Hell, I don’t want them thinking God is hateful and eager for them to leave because they’re evil. Aren’t we all sinners in need of forgiveness? We’re all just humans in need of God.
I don’t want them to just be cast out. I keep thinking to myself in that server.
“Please be understanding. Be patient and understanding so you can help understand why they should rely on God. Don’t just kick them and call them idiots, and abominations after you kick them when they just don’t understand why they’re wrong in their sins.”
But out of fear I’ll be banned and won’t be able to talk to other people joining, I say nothing.
I saw a server with atheists with chronic diseases, and one feared Hell while others just told him Hell was only a human construct the church made for control.
I knew this wasn’t true, but I just felt sad for them, I wanted them to know the truth so they can have salvation. Pretending Hell doesn’t exists doesn’t make it any better.
We’re all just terrified humans. All of us have different circumstances, all of us have different people we meet.
No one chose to be born, we’re just here. Everyone seems to have their own concept of the truth.
Some things God have made clear to me, but to atheists, they just seem so oblivious and I feel so afraid for them.
They could reject God and all the warnings in a few moments just saying “that’s not really my thing,” or “I’m not religious” and that can lead to eternal punishment.
To me, God is a reason to live, but to atheists who reject him, his existence as perfect judge means that they will go through eternal pain because the wages of sin are death.
I hear, “that’s how it is.” “That’s just life” and I didn’t create the world, I am not God, so I am in no position to tell him how to run the world. I just want to say that I can’t help but feel like at times that how the world works terrifies me. Everything has high stakes.
And then with false doctrines and confusion, it seems only those truly seeking God and loving him will find Him.
I worry that I was dragged here feeling forced. And it’s not about choosing God out of just fear, but out of love, but when the other option in Hell seems so horrible it seems forced.
And of course, I want to love God, but with how this world works I can’t help but feel afraid of Him at times. He is my comfort, he is their with me when I am afraid, and who do I really have to look to in life that’s trustworthy?
The confusion of trying to pretend God doesn’t exists would make me insane as there wouldn’t be someone else I could really rely on and trust, all these versions of the truth and arguments that atheists have on why to live would lead me to suicide because I would get too confused.
Honestly, I’m just a paranoid and terrified fool and I’m just far too reluctant.
I’m not so biblically smart, and my anxiousness and addiction have kept me distracted.
I worry so much about other’s salvation, but I myself need help.
Other Christians are so obedient without question, but being the stupid rebellious fool that I am, I keep asking “why does it have to be this way?”
We should choose God out of love, but because not choosing him leads to hell, at times I can’t help but say it seems (although it not actually is) tyrannical and forced.
However God doesn’t make us choose him because we have free will, if we don’t want to choose him we don’t have to, but it seems so wrong choosing him just out of fear of hell. It’d be so wrong to try pretend I love him, just because I want to get out of Hell. Heaven is heaven because God is in it, it’s not just about avoiding Hell. Hell is what Hell is because God isn’t there.
I don’t feel so motivated to tell others about God because of how loving God is, I feel so motivated to tell them about God because I don’t want them going through eternal pain. How can I let them know it’s about love when I myself have felt scared of God and haven’t really loved him like I should?
I go through so much nights afraid and confused wanting to understand. Every day I just worry I’ll just make another mistake.
I stay in bed late in the morning not wanting to get up, saying to God “I don’t want to fail you. I don’t want to do something foolish and be against you. Please don’t hurt me.”
How do I really go back to loving and trusting in God instead of being reluctant and so fearful to even talk to Him? I know he’s the Lord of everything, and I foolishly wish he could change how things are, but he still cares for me and I still need him.
I want to go back to trusting in him because he’s my Father, because he knows what’s best for me and I know what’s best for myself. I don’t want to be scared of him.
I don’t want him to say “I have never known you, depart from me”, I want to really love him, but I am so afraid.
I want to love him but I feel like he’s constantly out to get me and everyone else but I don’t think that is the case.
I’m advance, I’m sorry for how rebellious and foolish I act. I’ve been so confused and hope in venting someone can help me understand, so I can grow in my relationship with Jesus.
Before I met God, I was scared of existence and a coward when it came to pain.
Knowing how God always loved me and cared for me comforted me and helped me want to devote my life to Him and avoid my suicidal feelings.
I just worry so much that I’m not like other Christians.
They seem so tough and determined, they hope for the rapture soon, but I worry so much about the unbelievers getting hurt for eternity.
On a Christian server somewhere, an atheist and admin got into an argument and the admin banned the atheist calling them evil, and afterwards saying something like “Moron.” or “fool” but I just kept feeling so sad and miserable for the the atheist. The admin knew more about the Bible than me, and he was clearly smart, but he treated atheists like bugs on his shoe the more he heard them talk. Yes, they were foolish in their words, yes they want to sin, but I wanted the admin to be patient so the atheist could understand. Atheists are in so much danger of Hell, I don’t want them thinking God is hateful and eager for them to leave because they’re evil. Aren’t we all sinners in need of forgiveness? We’re all just humans in need of God.
I don’t want them to just be cast out. I keep thinking to myself in that server.
“Please be understanding. Be patient and understanding so you can help understand why they should rely on God. Don’t just kick them and call them idiots, and abominations after you kick them when they just don’t understand why they’re wrong in their sins.”
But out of fear I’ll be banned and won’t be able to talk to other people joining, I say nothing.
I saw a server with atheists with chronic diseases, and one feared Hell while others just told him Hell was only a human construct the church made for control.
I knew this wasn’t true, but I just felt sad for them, I wanted them to know the truth so they can have salvation. Pretending Hell doesn’t exists doesn’t make it any better.
We’re all just terrified humans. All of us have different circumstances, all of us have different people we meet.
No one chose to be born, we’re just here. Everyone seems to have their own concept of the truth.
Some things God have made clear to me, but to atheists, they just seem so oblivious and I feel so afraid for them.
They could reject God and all the warnings in a few moments just saying “that’s not really my thing,” or “I’m not religious” and that can lead to eternal punishment.
To me, God is a reason to live, but to atheists who reject him, his existence as perfect judge means that they will go through eternal pain because the wages of sin are death.
I hear, “that’s how it is.” “That’s just life” and I didn’t create the world, I am not God, so I am in no position to tell him how to run the world. I just want to say that I can’t help but feel like at times that how the world works terrifies me. Everything has high stakes.
And then with false doctrines and confusion, it seems only those truly seeking God and loving him will find Him.
I worry that I was dragged here feeling forced. And it’s not about choosing God out of just fear, but out of love, but when the other option in Hell seems so horrible it seems forced.
And of course, I want to love God, but with how this world works I can’t help but feel afraid of Him at times. He is my comfort, he is their with me when I am afraid, and who do I really have to look to in life that’s trustworthy?
The confusion of trying to pretend God doesn’t exists would make me insane as there wouldn’t be someone else I could really rely on and trust, all these versions of the truth and arguments that atheists have on why to live would lead me to suicide because I would get too confused.
Honestly, I’m just a paranoid and terrified fool and I’m just far too reluctant.
I’m not so biblically smart, and my anxiousness and addiction have kept me distracted.
I worry so much about other’s salvation, but I myself need help.
Other Christians are so obedient without question, but being the stupid rebellious fool that I am, I keep asking “why does it have to be this way?”
We should choose God out of love, but because not choosing him leads to hell, at times I can’t help but say it seems (although it not actually is) tyrannical and forced.
However God doesn’t make us choose him because we have free will, if we don’t want to choose him we don’t have to, but it seems so wrong choosing him just out of fear of hell. It’d be so wrong to try pretend I love him, just because I want to get out of Hell. Heaven is heaven because God is in it, it’s not just about avoiding Hell. Hell is what Hell is because God isn’t there.
I don’t feel so motivated to tell others about God because of how loving God is, I feel so motivated to tell them about God because I don’t want them going through eternal pain. How can I let them know it’s about love when I myself have felt scared of God and haven’t really loved him like I should?
I go through so much nights afraid and confused wanting to understand. Every day I just worry I’ll just make another mistake.
I stay in bed late in the morning not wanting to get up, saying to God “I don’t want to fail you. I don’t want to do something foolish and be against you. Please don’t hurt me.”
How do I really go back to loving and trusting in God instead of being reluctant and so fearful to even talk to Him? I know he’s the Lord of everything, and I foolishly wish he could change how things are, but he still cares for me and I still need him.
I want to go back to trusting in him because he’s my Father, because he knows what’s best for me and I know what’s best for myself. I don’t want to be scared of him.
I don’t want him to say “I have never known you, depart from me”, I want to really love him, but I am so afraid.
I want to love him but I feel like he’s constantly out to get me and everyone else but I don’t think that is the case.
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