kissing...

[jangel]

Anyways guys… I go to these people who strongly believe to remain pure.
I read a lot of things that hit me.
Kissing for me is more of really “go with the flow”.
I tried not to, but guys are just…you know.
Until you feel …it’s not a big deal.

Knowing people like you who have a strong belief on remaining to be pure,
Wow guys I wish I was…
You just give me strength to punch the guy if ever…joking.

So then, I won’t be kissing anyone til I get married anymore??? why not?! hehehe
I'm serious...

 

[NightOwl]

read the thread.

No. You are in no position of authority over me. If you don't want to tell me why you think kissing is a sin, then this part of the conversation is over.

I dislike it because it is a weak argument that does not disprove anyone's point. It's pretty much akin to name-calling to me.

Don't lie to me by saying that you aren't affected by others' words. Words hurt. Are you impervious to pain, then? I can prove that you are a brainwashed cultist just by reading your words.

Lol, because "shoving their tongues down each other's throats" is the best way to make your argument that kissing outside of marriage isn't bad sound credible. Why not just say "I see nothing wrong with a couple swapping spit with each other while shoving their tongues down each other's throats, and thrashing around in the back seat of the car like fish out of water, gasping for air, digging into each other's hair like a nurse looking for lice. That's totally Godly and awesome!"?

That doesn't sound like kissing. That sounds like they're trying to murder each other.

 

[lil-rush]

No. You are in no position of authority over me. If you don't want to tell me why you think kissing is a sin, then this part of the conversation is over.

what a tragedy.

Don't lie to me by saying that you aren't affected by others' words. Words hurt. Are you impervious to pain, then? I can prove that you are a brainwashed "quote edited--------" cultist just by reading your words.

Urban Dictionary:---------- What exactly are you trying to say, man? lol

Yes, words can hurt. They do not hurt, however, when I am laughing from the absurdity of being called a "brainwashed------ cultist." Honestly, that is one of the weirdest insults thrown at me ever. Freakin hilarious.

That doesn't sound like kissing. That sounds like they're trying to murder each other.

It was just my amusing way of saying "kissing and groping in the back seat of a car." At least, I found it amusing. In any case, "shoving their tongues down each other's throats" doesn't sound like kissing either. It sounds like they are either trying to induce a gag reflex or trying to suffocate one another. It's a toss up between the two.

Whatever the case may be, I really can't take any argument you make seriously now, because you seem like a troll.

 

[zeroturbulence]

This is for everyone ....

Ok? lets not make emokitteh cry.

 

[Mulehide]

This is for everyone ....

Ok? lets not make emokitteh cry.

Thanks Zero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[zeroturbulence]

you're welcome

 

[Crypto]

what a tragedy.



Urban Dictionary: ----edited------- What exactly are you trying to say, man? lol

Yes, words can hurt. They do not hurt, however, when I am laughing from the absurdity of being called a "brainwashed ---edited---- cultist." Honestly, that is one of the weirdest insults thrown at me ever. Freakin hilarious.



It was just my amusing way of saying "kissing and groping in the back seat of a car." At least, I found it amusing. In any case, "shoving their tongues down each other's throats" doesn't sound like kissing either. It sounds like they are either trying to induce a gag reflex or trying to suffocate one another. It's a toss up between the two.

Whatever the case may be, I really can't take any argument you make seriously now, because you seem like a troll.

Hahahaha this is the funniest post I have read in sometime hahaha good job!

 

[NightOwl]

You guys are all just old fashioned Mennonites. Whatever.

 

[lightbliss]

They're not saying "Anyone that kisses another will burn in Hell!"

I think, to them for them kissing is wrong, just as some don't see it that way.

And just because something is wrong, it isn't necessarily a sin.

Example:

Wrong = Annoying my sister (on purpose)
Sin = Killing my sister

It's a personal choice, to choose not to kiss or to kiss.

But I think saying that it's unrealistic is the same as saying that if a person flaps their arms long enough, they'll eventually fly.

Anyway that's how I interpret their statements, and my thoughts.

But a scripture for both "sides" to consider:

Proverbs 26:4-5
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

Not that I think anyone is a fool but this thread... it's getting a bit out there

 

[jangel]

You guys are all just old fashioned Mennonites. Whatever.

Hehe I’m old fashioned, but I’m all okay with it.



Knowing these people in here who give value so much on it, it challenged me.
If they can do it, why can’t I.

I don’t want to be someone who is controlled by my wants. I admit, I like kissing and it’s really a plus for a guy if he’s a good kisser, but being able to say no to it, is an achievement for me. It would be funny to look on the guy side though…hmmm
and I’ll just say to him, I learned in christianchat.com that blah, blah ,blah…lol, okay, I’m being silly now.

I’m someone who is very careful also of what I do or other words ” playing safe” but it bores me, so I also have a bit of naughtiness in me just to balance everything and won’t be worn out. The world that we have is crazy so we need to know also how to play on it, in a decent way.
God knows everything in me, and I told Him everything that I feel, including whatever silliness I have in my mind. I know God understands me more than anyone could do, and that He’s working in me as He does to anyone else.

I wouldn’t say, abstinence from what you’re avoiding that you can do is wrong, but still it’s an immature thing to do.
We can’t just go and hide from all these things that the world is offering to us, yes we need to learn to have self control in every way. I would say, if a guy can say no to a girl, who is totally naked in front of him, that man learned his thing.

It’s like a cigarette, many people are indulging into it, and I hate it.
Other people can’t live with out it, it makes me feel how immature they are, to be controlled by a single stick of a cigarette. I don’t want to be someone, who can’t control myself from what silliness my mind is telling me. .. so again, I’ll take it as a challenge…but learning to get strength from Him.

Other wants to dare?...
Anyway…

 

[Shard]

this is all well and good till the day you get married and you get that first kiss, and your partner is a terrible kisser. Then your stuck.

 

[bonnie2]

Hehe I’m old fashioned, but I’m all okay with it.



Knowing these people in here who give value so much on it, it challenged me.
If they can do it, why can’t I.

I don’t want to be someone who is controlled by my wants. I admit, I like kissing and it’s really a plus for a guy if he’s a good kisser, but being able to say no to it, is an achievement for me. It would be funny to look on the guy side though…hmmm
and I’ll just say to him, I learned in christianchat.com that blah, blah ,blah…lol, okay, I’m being silly now.

I’m someone who is very careful also of what I do or other words ” playing safe” but it bores me, so I also have a bit of naughtiness in me just to balance everything and won’t be worn out. The world that we have is crazy so we need to know also how to play on it, in a decent way.
God knows everything in me, and I told Him everything that I feel, including whatever silliness I have in my mind. I know God understands me more than anyone could do, and that He’s working in me as He does to anyone else.

I wouldn’t say, abstinence from what you’re avoiding that you can do is wrong, but still it’s an immature thing to do.
We can’t just go and hide from all these things that the world is offering to us, yes we need to learn to have self control in every way. I would say, if a guy can say no to a girl, who is totally naked in front of him, that man learned his thing.

It’s like a cigarette, many people are indulging into it, and I hate it.
Other people can’t live with out it, it makes me feel how immature they are, to be controlled by a single stick of a cigarette. I don’t want to be someone, who can’t control myself from what silliness my mind is telling me. .. so again, I’ll take it as a challenge…but learning to get strength from Him.

Other wants to dare?...
Anyway…

I wouldn't say people are immature to be controlled by a cigarette. It's an addiction. That's what happens when you're straddling the line, and you fall on the wrong side.
"Sin will take you farther than you want to go, cost you more than you want to pay, and keep you longer than you want to stay."
For me, no kissing & no touching is like a fence, set far back from a cliff. I can't see past the fence. I don't know what would happen in any situation. But I can keep pushing it closer and closer to the cliff (of premarital sex in this case), and I risk falling off at any moment.
It sounds to me like you are okay with pushing the fence. You say, you want to say no, it would be an achievement for you, but you have a "bit of naughtiness" that might allow you to say yes. It sounds like you would be willing to test yourself to see if you have self-control. I just think that's kind of dangerous. Wouldn't it be better to be committed to an objective standard- to say, the fence stays here, even when at times I want to push it, because I decided ahead of time that it would? That takes strength of character.

 

[bonnie2]

this is all well and good till the day you get married and you get that first kiss, and your partner is a terrible kisser. Then your stuck.

If your only objective in getting married is to be kissed! lol.
Make sure you let any girl you ask to marry you know that that's all you want her for!

 

[Shard]

If your only objective in getting married is to be kissed! lol.
Make sure you let any girl you ask to marry you know that that's all you want her for!

Lol im glad you saw the humor in that. Though I think this is another one of those issues were the solution is different for each individual.

 

[zeroturbulence]

..
"Sin will take you farther than you want to go, cost you more than you want to pay, and keep you longer than you want to stay."
For me, no kissing & no touching is like a fence, set far back from a cliff. I can't see past the fence. I don't know what would happen in any situation. But I can keep pushing it closer and closer to the cliff (of premarital sex in this case), and I risk falling off at any moment...

Wow that is extremely profound! I never thought of it like that. Its brilliant!

 

[jangel]

For me, no kissing & no touching is like a fence, set far back from a cliff. I can't see past the fence. I don't know what would happen in any situation. But I can keep pushing it closer and closer to the cliff (of premarital sex in this case), and I risk falling off at any moment.
It sounds to me like you are okay with pushing the fence. You say, you want to say no, it would be an achievement for you, but you have a "bit of naughtiness" that might allow you to say yes. It sounds like you would be willing to test yourself to see if you have self-control. I just think that's kind of dangerous. Wouldn't it be better to be committed to an objective standard- to say, the fence stays here, even when at times I want to push it, because I decided ahead of time that it would? That takes strength of character.

Danger is where the fun is!!! Hehehe

Surely I have my fence too, but I put it where it’s good enough for me to breathe, live and play. I don’t want to put it where in, when that situation comes, I have to push it, cuz I can’t breathe, and instances I may not know it, it’s already the dead end.
Seemed to me that you are afraid that’s why you’re avoiding it, well… I am not.
I know myself and I have set standards also for myself, and let the people see it in me.
There were even times where in, I’m teasing the guy to do it, but, I got rejected.
The guy would say, I don’t believe you, and I won’t do it.
I’ll try it again the next time, and I got rejected again.
The guy would say, I won’t bite, I know you’re just playing on me and I’ll prove to you , I can wait….okay I give up…he passed for my trust.
Isn’t it nice to know that you don’t have to worry, because the guy that you have been with is someone who respected you, and you’ve made yourself clear to him who you really are, even you haven’t really talk about that matter?

I just see it this way… right now I can say that I can handle it and say no, it’s not really a big thing for me, if I’ll decide into something, I’ll stand on it, but still as a human I completely accept that I am totally weak, with whatever temptations the world is offering to us, and that’s where I let God do His work.
All I can have is a willingness not to do it anymore and letting God do the rest.

A lot of confession I know in the church that once, they’ve been addicted to liquors, cigarettes, and it’s so hard for them to stop it, even how much they tried, but when they learn to surrender it to God, He works!

I don’t need to do all the effort, I don’t need to struggle with all these things, all I need to do is let Him know of my sincerity, and let myself be amaze on how God works!
That’s learning to trust in Him…

Kissing isn’t really a big deal for me anymore, it would just be a big deal when you haven’t tried it, but after the first kiss, you’ll realize it’s nothing, it isn’t a big deal as you thought it was.We (girls) have this attitude where in, we want someone to be our first and last. It’s a sweet attitude though but good for you if you can stand on that.

 

[bonnie2]

Danger is where the fun is!!! Hehehe

Surely I have my fence too, but I put it where it’s good enough for me to breathe, live and play. I don’t want to put it where in, when that situation comes, I have to push it, cuz I can’t breathe, and instances I may not know it, it’s already the dead end.
Seemed to me that you are afraid that’s why you’re avoiding it, well… I am not.
I know myself and I have set standards also for myself, and let the people see it in me.
There were even times where in, I’m teasing the guy to do it, but, I got rejected.
The guy would say, I don’t believe you, and I won’t do it.
I’ll try it again the next time, and I got rejected again.
The guy would say, I won’t bite, I know you’re just playing on me and I’ll prove to you , I can wait….okay I give up…he passed for my trust.
Isn’t it nice to know that you don’t have to worry, because the guy that you have been with is someone who respected you, and you’ve made yourself clear to him who you really are, even you haven’t really talk about that matter?

I just see it this way… right now I can say that I can handle it and say no, it’s not really a big thing for me, if I’ll decide into something, I’ll stand on it, but still as a human I completely accept that I am totally weak, with whatever temptations the world is offering to us, and that’s where I let God do His work.
All I can have is a willingness not to do it anymore and letting God do the rest.

A lot of confession I know in the church that once, they’ve been addicted to liquors, cigarettes, and it’s so hard for them to stop it, even how much they tried, but when they learn to surrender it to God, He works!

I don’t need to do all the effort, I don’t need to struggle with all these things, all I need to do is let Him know of my sincerity, and let myself be amaze on how God works!
That’s learning to trust in Him…

Kissing isn’t really a big deal for me anymore, it would just be a big deal when you haven’t tried it, but after the first kiss, you’ll realize it’s nothing, it isn’t a big deal as you thought it was.We (girls) have this attitude where in, we want someone to be our first and last. It’s a sweet attitude though but good for you if you can stand on that.

God doesn't call you to live, breathe and play. He calls you to "Be holy, as I am holy" (1 Pet. 1:16). That's a high standard!
I don't believe in "let go, and let God." God calls us to holiness. We have a part in that- we are fighting a WAR. Ephesians 6:10-11- Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."
God isn't looking down, saying, "Oh, poor little jangel. She's just a normal, weak girl. After all, she does deserve to have SOME fun..."
No! He's saying...Be holy! Be strong! Of course, He will help you, but only if you're willing to really take that stand.
You don't know yourself. I don't know myself. What about "the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, WHO can know it?" (Jer. 17:9). Even as Christians there is something inside us- our flesh- that is very anti-God. We can't ever get rid of that, only suppress it or die to it (refuse to let it have power over us). That's Biblical (check out Romans 7- Paul is talking about his flesh). I know there is still something very, very wrong with me. I can't just trust myself; I have to keep myself in control by standards/ "fences". I've never been kissed, but I've wanted to before when a guy was pressuring me, and I'll tell you, this is the only thing that kept me from it- my prior firm decision not to. Even if it's not kissing for you, draw a firm, hard line somewhere (although since you seem to be agreeing that no kissing is a good thing, you could start there now. Even if you've done it in the past, you can tell your future husband, I never kissed anyone after I made this decision). I'm just giving you this advice because I know that if you don't take it, you'll do something you'll regret- if not in this area, then in another.

 

[jangel]

God doesn't call you to live, breathe and play. He calls you to "Be holy, as I am holy" (1 Pet. 1:16). That's a high standard!
I don't believe in "let go, and let God." God calls us to holiness. We have a part in that- we are fighting a WAR. Ephesians 6:10-11- Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."
God isn't looking down, saying, "Oh, poor little jangel. She's just a normal, weak girl. After all, she does deserve to have SOME fun..."
No! He's saying...Be holy! Be strong! Of course, He will help you, but only if you're willing to really take that stand.
You don't know yourself. I don't know myself. What about "the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, WHO can know it?" (Jer. 17:9). Even as Christians there is something inside us- our flesh- that is very anti-God. We can't ever get rid of that, only suppress it or die to it (refuse to let it have power over us). That's Biblical (check out Romans 7- Paul is talking about his flesh). I know there is still something very, very wrong with me. I can't just trust myself; I have to keep myself in control by standards/ "fences". I've never been kissed, but I've wanted to before when a guy was pressuring me, and I'll tell you, this is the only thing that kept me from it- my prior firm decision not to. Even if it's not kissing for you, draw a firm, hard line somewhere (although since you seem to be agreeing that no kissing is a good thing, you could start there now. Even if you've done it in the past, you can tell your future husband, I never kissed anyone after I made this decision). I'm just giving you this advice because I know that if you don't take it, you'll do something you'll regret- if not in this area, then in another.

I believe in letting go and letting Him.

Bottom line… it takes a lot to be a Christian.
I hear a lot of people will say, if they can only quit from being a Christian, they will do it.
If you want to reign, you have to pay the price.
Be holy and be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect.
We all know these…but what I am holding is… He is faithful, and He will finish whatever good works He started on us.

When God asked Peter, do you love me with all of these, 3 times, God was asking Peter if he love Him with a divine love, but Peter answered only that he love God with a friendly love, and so the third time God was asking Peter if he love Him with a friendly love, and so Peter said, yes ,I love you with a friendly love.
We simply could not measure up God’s standard, and so He has to lower His standard for us, but what matter is, is what He said, to feed His lambs,… thus we ought to encourage one another.

I just don’t want to put pressure in me anymore with all these things. I grew up already with so many “don’ts “. It’s so funny that I used to describe myself before as a bird in its cage, cuz that’s how I really feel, but I’m all fine with that. Now my dad is letting us to be free and just asking one favour from us, and that’s not to give them shame, that he won’t forbid us to marry, but just do it in a proper way. I can say I’m responsible enough now, and it’s not hard to give it to them, and of course that’s what I wanted also for myself. If whatever decision I made and how I define “fun” for me, I’m sure it’s not something that will give shame to them.

I’m learning also to give it all to God, and wanted to live a life pleasing to Him, above all, and above all these things, He still all what I want.

 

[kate0558]

theres nothing wrong with kissing. I've learned that the reason God said those things was to protect us. He doesn't want you to get hurt. And he certainly doesn't want you to go around kissing or having sex with complete strangers. He wants you to live your life and he wants you to be happy. So if theres a guy/girl who you really like and are dating... theres NOTHING wrong with kissing them. Anything more no.. but a kiss tells you a lot about a person. And Gods not up there looking down on you judging you for it.

To be honest I think saying kissing is "evil" is absolutely crazy... In fact that is the classic example why non believers don't want to believe b/c they think christians are all nuts.. and they want nothing to do with that.

 

[bonnie2]

theres nothing wrong with kissing. I've learned that the reason God said those things was to protect us. He doesn't want you to get hurt. And he certainly doesn't want you to go around kissing or having sex with complete strangers. He wants you to live your life and he wants you to be happy. So if theres a guy/girl who you really like and are dating... theres NOTHING wrong with kissing them. Anything more no.. but a kiss tells you a lot about a person. And Gods not up there looking down on you judging you for it.

To be honest I think saying kissing is "evil" is absolutely crazy... In fact that is the classic example why non believers don't want to believe b/c they think christians are all nuts.. and they want nothing to do with that.

God wants you to be holy...see my previous post. He does want us to be happy, but true happiness does not depend on circumstances. He does NOT necessarily want us to have happy circumstances/ have things go our way.
Who said kissing was evil? I don't think I ever did. No kissing/ physical contact (at least until I'm engaged) is my personal standard. It is a fence to keep me from evil, because I am capable of it (so are you). And if our goal is to convince non believers that we're not crazy, that's not a good thing. We'll end up being too much like them to try to win them over. What about Jesus' commands to be separate from the world? 2 Cor. 6:17. Separate isn't trying to convince them that we're not crazy. It's acting different than them. Of course, they'll think we're crazy if we act different.
Here's another verse I found: Luke 6:22-23 Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man!
And according to James 4:4, friendship with the world is enmity with God.