People who purposely try to cause you to become bitter

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aforgivensonofGod

Guest
#1
VERY VERY LONG POST - but very inner emotions that people can't seem to describe, that I'm try to bring out to life.

I see this issue so many times. They are beyond negative, and they are the provokers, they will try to drag you down to a point, so that they can exert punishment on you without actually being the one to do it. These people are like the devil himself, secretly open their mouth and use whatever tools they have to try to cause you to become anger man and bitter purposely.

I don't know how many times I've dealt with these kind of folks, and how many times they caused blame to fall upon me, or how many times I spoke out against them. But when I see these folks pick on other people, it really gets me going. To the point - I want to call them out publically. It's one thing that you try to get at me, it's another when you hurt other people, and cause them to fall. What angers me the most are these self conscience people who only think of themselves, and will do anything to cause everyone else life to be miserable with theirs. Simply because they're not happy with themselves. Or dealt with some emotional issues in their life, and they tend to act that way towards everyone else.

Is this a venting thread? Yes it is. But more than a venting thread, I want to warn my real brother and sisters about this issue. Because those who fall prey to these kind of folks are always unaware of it. I want to list some of the things to look out for or signs when you know your dealing with these kind of folks. These sign will give you a warning to walk away, back off, and not catch prey to them. These signs are from what I see on a daily basis, and from what I've observed, learned, and also acquired through ministry. Also to note, not to generalize or cause any sort of hate. But through out this course, I tend to find that the majority of these kind of people are females. Why is that? I have no idea why. And most of these females usually have an education or wise enough to write an educated book. They will use that fake superiority over you, to make you feel as if you aren't worthy, your ignorant, and that you aren't on their level. But that's not to say that I haven't dealt with male on this situation also, because I have. Plenty of times. But with males, they tend to let it go at the very end. With females, they will carry the situation and bash on your wound until they see you hurt, lay victimized on the ground, and punished.

1) They will use words to stir a situation. Or make themselves feel superior by injecting words such as, "I did this, me, me, I should be leader." An intelligent provoker wouldn't expose herself in this way, she would start by poking around at your fault. Once she sees that you are starting to stir up because your fault has been exposed. She will continue to bash on that open wound until you start to react. The worst thing to do is to start cursing at her, or to start to get physical. Because as soon as you do this, you will always become the "bad guy." And someone in the crowd will see this provoker as the "victim" and you fell right into her hands. All she has to do is walk away, and people will automatically defend her from you. But they had no idea what actually happened, and you'll be the one to pay the consequences, while she got what she wanted.

2) They will find any chance they get to correct you of your English, language, spelling, or whatever it is you do. Rather it be online, in person, or in your blogs (not all provokers will do this.) But to a majority, I find that the first thing they do, is to always find fault like in number 1. If there is no fault to be found, they will start to poke at your mishaps. And one of those mishaps are usually your education. They will poke at your spelling, and your grammar issues, not because it's simply "wrong." (Even though 9/10, it is.) It's because to feel a sense of superiority they will put you down regardless, in-order to make themselves feel better. The worst thing you can do in this situation, is to have an "English" battle royle. Because at this point, this person have you right where they want you. And they will then start to push the situation further, and start bashing on the open wound. Yes, you are wounded, because as soon as you reply back to these kind of folk, you have already giving signs that you are "offended." And offense will lead to a bigger offense than it already is, and it will cause you to fall, and become the "bad guy."

3) A lack of humility, a lack of the fear of God. And they will always want the last words. Regardless of the situation, because of their true nature, they will never want to end with you having the last word. They always (9/10) want the last words. It falls back to their lack of humility and the lack of the fear of God.

4) They appear to be your friend at first sight. Will do the same things a friend will do. But you'll know the difference because it is never their fault. This is when you need to take precaution, because as soon as you notice signs with this person. A sign that shows, "For some odd reason, he thinks he's never wrong." He never takes responsibility for his own actions, and IF he did, it's because somehow, either you or someone else was also wrong. And thus, not "fully" his fault.

I know that's a lot to read, but it has been on my heart and mind for a long time. And I'm finally writing it out. When I first encountered these kind of people, it was very hard to pinpoint them. Because I didn't know what words to describe them as. They come off as "friendly" people, people who don't really have any issues, but yet, they are the ones who does the most harm to your life, to the church. They will cause you to become bitter, angry, and stir up with ever emotions in you for all the wrong reasons. These folks have their own lives, they live normally, and most of them are educated. Don't let that fool you. I remind you, even the Pharisee's were educated, but in no wise, were they members of God's family.

If you have any questions or something to add. Please do so. Because I recently dealt with a person of this category once again. And I fell right into her trap, knowing well what she was after. This was my motivation to write this, as a sort of letting my feelings go of the situation, and to warn other brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#2
As you grow as a Christian you will become more mature and be able to spot these types of people very early, before they actually manage to trick you into feeding into the drama. Best thing to do is not have any words with them other than what is neccessary for polite conversation and give them no foothold on any aspect of your life. I don't think everyone that does what your speaking of does it intentionally, they are just so caught up in the flesh that it just comes out.

This is where the do not become unequally yolked with nonbelievers comes in. If you argue with these types of people, you lose simply because your arguing. If you let them affect you too much emotionally, you lose because you've let your guard slip too far. Best thing to do is identify them as early as possible and distance yourself. Being wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove isn't easy but thats pretty much how you have to approach it.