"Wanting to be Beautiful"

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#1
"Wanting to be Beautiful" 24/8-2009

My Heavenly Father,
the Great I am from the heavens.
If you could just remove all of this hurt,
from my mind and heart.
If you could just heal me fully,
and restore this broken heart of mine.
If you could just set me free once more,
totally free from this deep misery within me.
That are breaking me down,
again and again into painfull tears.
Painfull tears screaming out for you,
for you to embrace me and free me.
If I could just feel like a princess again,
looking at myself as beautiful and full of worth.
I truly want to feel beautiful,
and smiling to the world full of joy and pride.
Joy, because you created me as beautiful.
Pride, because I am a beauty example from you.
My sight of beauty is broken now,
I struggle with seeing myself in the mirror.
Makes me only want to cry,
because I desire so much being beautiful.
Oh Lord, please restore me again!

By: BellaFlor
 
Last edited:

grace

Senior Member
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#2
Lovely, Bellaflor. Thanks for shareing it. :)
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#3
.................! :)
 
M

Meridoc

Guest
#4
Wow, very good poem, I know how you feel. You are beautiful, don't let anyone ever tell you different. As the saying goes "God doesn't make junk." I have written a few poems on similar topics, it can be rough, but need to always remember that God is there for you, knows you are beautiful and loves you unconditionally.
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#5
Thanks Meridoc :)

Yes, I know that we are all Beautiful in God. I have just got so much broken down in every way in my life, and once I thought I was more build up, restored and healed, it came up something even Much More painfull than what I had of earlier. And still it is Very Hard for me, also the unconditional love from God to me, and from people as well, I find it still Hard to fully understand it. With so much lack of love since childhood, and having parents most loving me with an conditional love, I need getting more of God's Love within me. I would sure like you to share some of your poems too, if you'd not mind? :) God's Blessings!
 
M

Meridoc

Guest
#6
Yea I know your pain(well not specifically, but generally) I have been broken down many times in my life. I even had an emotional/mental breakdown at the age of 20. Unfortunately we are not a perfect people, so it is hard to find true unconditional love. I have found a few people like that and I hope you do too. I know I am willing to be that type of friend to you, but it is better if you have someone close by that can physically be there for you. *HUGS*

Sure I could share some poetry with you :). I will share one of my dark poems and then a prayer I wrote that has been a blessing to me and others around me.

[FONT=&quot]Scared[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]So much uncertainty,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]So much pain,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Need to run,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Have to flee,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Running won't help,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Can't flee from life,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Want to die,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Why can't I be the next,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Why can't I be with you,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Unable to handle life,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Too weak for it,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]So many strong people,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]I am just not one,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Tear caress my face,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Am I crazy too,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]When will it end,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Can't hide the pain,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Want to scream,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Need to let it out,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Can't think,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Madness inside my head,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Pouring out into oblivion,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Life is too complicated,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Never will figure it out,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Don't want to,[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]Want. . .[/FONT]​


And here is the prayer, I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

[FONT=&quot]My Prayer[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Resolve unto me,
Strength to fight,
Will to drive,
Passion to succeed,
Love overflowing,
Patience unbounded,
Belief in Your power,
And trust in Your grace.
[/FONT]​
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#7
My Husband is the closest one to me that wants to show me unconditional love, and he also tries telling me again and again that I shouldn't think the way my parents did, with giving me conditional love and then wanting something back in return again. I can still struggle with understanding this, but I try taking this in and learning how to see this correct and the way it is supposed to be every day.

I also have some friends that I am sure loves me unconditionally, on Our Wedding Day I started crying when they had to leave back home, because I would miss them and because I was so touched by how Good friends they have been and always will be for me. I became Independent through my friends, more than through my parents. But I am Happy the Lord blessed me with these friends, and I hope He will bless me with more new and good friends here in Holland too.

I also beleive my husband's parents loves me unconditionally too, I am Lucky that they Love the Lord as well. That is Truly a Great blessing to me, getting into a Christian family through my husband's family. My parents doesn't know's the Lord.

It is sure Good seeing that more people can relate with me too, that way one doesn't feel's so very alone as well. Very nice poetry, I like the way the first one sounds, Very Strong Words! :) The last is sure fine too, a Very Great prayer, indeed.

This is a poem I wrote, a view into some of my childhood's past and parents situation.

Secrets (2008)

A past far behind
still hiding behind shades
of hurt, pain and disappointment
Sorrowful wounds opening up
bleeding out with anger
Screaming for Truth to set free
out of this confusing madness

Why did we had to hide
these stories of Truth
That kept us in prison
all these years through
Wounding and desforming
my mind and my heart`s soul

Breaking us slowly down
with screaming, anger, tears,
hate, and with killing words
Crushing my heart a hundred of times
falling into a net of depression
Violence through my insecurity

Crying out to the Father
with desperate tears
Searching for hope somewhere
someone who cared
Someone to hear my deep plea
and someone to hold on to

Searching for Comfort
and searching for Strenght
When confusion surrounded me
my only hope were to look up to Him
All alone in my sadness
feeling ashamed feeling guilt

All burried down into Great despair
not knowing what to do
Drowning in my sadness every day
closing myself in my own world
A world of loneliness
A world of lies

Living in tragedy
not being able to fully smile
All wrapped into this deep misery
wanting to cry all the time
In prison deep inside of my self
stuck in between hate and love

By: BellaFlor
 
M

Meridoc

Guest
#8
That is wonderful that you have a husband that loves you deeply :D, and friends though you miss them will always be there for you. That poem is very deep and powerful, it rings so familiar in alot of ways of how I have felt at times in my recent past. I pray for God's blessing on your life and your marriage and that you will be able to move past some of the pain of your past and understand your true worth in the eyes of those who love you for who you are and give that love freely as God intends for us to do.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
John 13:34-35
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#9
Thank you :)

God Bless you too!
 
A

AllieRose

Guest
#10
That poem was so beautiful, it made me cry. This is exactly how I feel right now, and sot of the reason I joined this website. My sins and my shame have broken me down, I don't feel like I'm good enough to be called beautiful in His eyes anymore..... I so desperately want His healing touch on my heart to repair these wounds my sin has caused.... below are the lyrics to a Bethany Dillon Song called "beautiful that I just love. I loved this song before I felt my beauty had been taken away.
"Beautiful"

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life


I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory



You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful
 
M

Meridoc

Guest
#11
very good poem Allie :D
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#12
Happy my poem could touch you too, AllieRose.
It does helps knowing one isn't alone about this, although we all have our different reasons for why we are feeling this way.
Very nice song/poem you wrote there too. And I can relate myself in some of it too. Thank you for sharing! :)

Know that you are Beautiful too, and God Keep Blessing You!
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#13
Here is another poem I wrote too once, the original is in spanish, but I'll write the English Translated one in here, since that is the language most people in here understands, I think ;) :)

A Rose

I am like a rose,
beautiful created by the hands of God.
Beauty of soul,
full of joy and love.
A passion to satisfy my Lord,
and a huge desire to lay
all my life in His hands.
Soft prayers from the dephts
of my heart,
are flying like tears of plea to the sky.
A desire getting closer to Jesus Christ,
my heart burns for following His footsteps.
My feelings are soft like the perfume
from the petals of a rose,
it's vivid colour is like sweet music
to my ears.
My voice is hungry for giving praise
to my dear Lord,
and singing with whole of my soul.
Dance like if I were an angel,
dream awake about a better world.
The light is my only Salvation of life,
like the rose, without it I fade.
My hope is crucified on the cross,
and I am chained to a road
very hard to pass.
But in the end I will be free as a bird,
I will open my wings and fly happilly
together with God.

By: BellaFlor
 
Last edited:
A

AllieRose

Guest
#14
Thank you BellaFlor :). I must point out that I did not write the poem I posted, Its is a song by an artist named Bethany Dillon. I only wish I could write :D
 
D

dustin

Guest
#15
i like draw paint also take picture