(I'll apologize now, because this is going to come across as sarcastic.)
I'll never forget when my friend invited me to come with her to her church service. At that time I thought it was just straight-up Pentecostal, and I'd been to an Assembly of God church before, so I thought I knew what I was in for. Ohh no.
She attended a church I am far more familiar with since attending and doing research on. She went to a United Pentecostal Oneness/Holiness "church".
First Impressions: Everyone looked like they were rejected from a casting call for "Little House on the Prairie, the later years." Denim jumpers as far as the eye could see. I thought it was odd, but not a deal breaker. All the women had no makeup on (For makeup is of the devil) and also no jewelry - save for watches. (Was told that jewelry, especially earrings was a sign of a Baal Worshipper.)
No woman wore trousers ever, especially not in church. (God has a place in His Heart for culottes, though. He doesn't feel large, out-of-style ladies pants are an abomination.)
And under no circumstances is any girl/woman able to cut her hair after receiving the "holyghost" (It was always pronounced as if it was a single word, and almost like holocaust) For to cut one's hair or wearing trousers was tantamount to cross-dressing. I was told that since my hair was cut, I was practically a butch lesbian. (I was seriously told this.) Looking at the older women's hair was kind of gross. When you don't cut the dead ends off, your hair pretty much dies. One woman resembled Crystal Gayle, her hair was so long, but the last 2 feet of it resembled a horse tail because it was so dry and nasty. This is what God desires, though. So who am I to judge.
This is the least of my worries though. If you want your women to look like haggard rejects from some denim emporium, have at it. The "Worship" is what troubled me the most.
The leader announced it was time for prayer. Everyone leaped out of their seats and began milling around the room, chanting the name of Jesus in a kind of sing-songy voice. No prayers were uttered. Just chanting His name, like they were shamans attempting to summon Jesus to the sanctuary. I sat in my pew and prayed that God would open my eyes. He did.
The music was very uplifting. No mention was made of the Trinity, due to the Oneness doctrines, but I appreciated the fervor to which I felt they praised the Name of Jesus. I liked the music.
The sermon was very Jesse Jackson/black preacher/fire and brimstone-esque. (Though he was caucasian) I like a good rousing sermon. I cannot recall the topic, but I didn't find a whole lot that I disagreed with that he said. I was surprised.
After that came the altar call/prayer time/exercise session? of the morning. This is what freaked me out enough to ask for God to protect me from the people of the church. I wasn't sure I wouldn't be burned on the altar or something else.. It was that freaky.
The pastor asked everyone to stand, and then called the elders of the church to come forward to pray. As soon as they came forward the chaos began. People were shouting, jumping wildly about, hopping from one leg to another, running around the sanctuary, falling to the ground in a heap, chanting and gibbering (with no one translating, mind you), they were getting close to me, and at one point I thought they would channel me up to the front to burn the heretic or something. The "pastor" was up on the altar moving in a way like he was being possessed, the way he jerked about and moaned and then he threw himself onto the chair on the stage and then loudly dropped to his knees. It looked to me like I was watching a mass demonic possession take place, and that's what it felt like to me as well. The people were making so much noise, how could anyone focus on praying to God? I sat down in my pew and prayed for peace, for protection, and for these people to come to know the God I know. This utter craziness lasted for about 10 minutes. It felt like an hour to me, but then time slows down to a crawl when I am freaked out.
One by one the people started slowing the chanting/glossolalia/chaos and people returned to their pews. There were a few hopping fools who didn't seem to want it to end, but eventually it all calmed down, Thank God! The pastor dismissed the crowd, and everyone left remarking what a wonderful time of worship they'd just experienced.
It just left me feeling cold, shell-shocked, and wondering which god they all just finished worshiping.
