Stupid questions / warnings / info

[wwjd_kilden]

Ok, having worked at tech support (and having had some "Blonde moments" of my own), I KNOW people are stupid

... but still, every now and then we come across warnings that are just plain "Duuuuh"
or even ones that make you think "Eeerh, I wonder what the story behind that is..."

So, here is a thread to share these warnings / pieces of information / questions, be it from food wrapping or computers.

I made this thread because of the warning Skype gives when you choose "Quit Skype";

Are you sure you want to quit Skype?
You won't be able to send and receive instant messages and calls if you do

 

[tourist]

You can still find warning tags on pillows and mattresses warning you not to remove them under penalty of law. The warning is only for the manufacturers and sellers but there are probably many owners that are fearful of snipping off tag because they might somehow get arrested by the pillow and mattress police who will storm into your house.

 

[Huglife]

You can still find warning tags on pillows and mattresses warning you not to remove them under penalty of law. The warning is only for the manufacturers and sellers but there are probably many owners that are fearful of snipping off tag because they might somehow get arrested by the pillow and mattress police who will storm into your house.

xD I used to be like that

 

[Huglife]

 

[Depleted]

I was trying to look up how to spell certain words in Philly-slang. I clicked one of the top links and got this message:

[h=1]Your IP has been banned[/h][HR][/HR]

Your IP address has been automatically flagged as abusive. You are currently banned from viewing this site. To remove the ban, please​

(I'm not giving the rest, because it's phishing.)

Honestly? The site's name is whose your landlord dot com. I couldn't be banned. I haven't had a landlord since before we bought our first computer, so I've never been there before.

 

[Tommy379]

You can still find warning tags on pillows and mattresses warning you not to remove them under penalty of law. The warning is only for the manufacturers and sellers but there are probably many owners that are fearful of snipping off tag because they might somehow get arrested by the pillow and mattress police who will storm into your house.

What you talkin about? I just saw the SWAT team knocking down a door over mattress tag removal.

 

[Galatea]

Here's a good one that might help guys out:

 

[Tommy379]

Here's a good one that might help guys out:

View attachment 170795

Around here, we have: bat-s*** crazy, and bath-salts crazy. The former is pretty benign, they will make comments of jealousy about your mother, the waitress smiling at you, and your dog you brought to the relationship. They will call you every 5 minutes wanting to know where you are at. The latter will alienate your mother, pick a fight with the waitress, drown your dog in the bathtub, burn your clothes in the front yard, slash your tires, and remove body parts while you sleep.

 

[hornetguy]

Bill Engvall rose to fame with his comedy routine of "Here's your sign"...



Very funny stuff, about this same topic.

 

[Galatea]

Around here, we have: bat-s*** crazy, and bath-salts crazy. The former is pretty benign, they will make comments of jealousy about your mother, the waitress smiling at you, and your dog you brought to the relationship. They will call you every 5 minutes wanting to know where you are at. The latter will alienate your mother, pick a fight with the waitress, drown your dog in the bathtub, burn your clothes in the front yard, slash your tires, and remove body parts while you sleep.

I think there are all kinds of crazy women are prone to, hopefully, men won't meet up with too many bath salts crazy types.

 

[WineRose]

 

[Rockrz]

PC Repair Guy

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T
error? What's that. in case I need to fix it again?" The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote out .. I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold.

 

[missy2014]

Donot eat those sachet / packet things in the box/package

 

[missy2014]

~not for eating~

 

[Rockrz]

You know you have an old computer when...

50. There are a thousand more but it takes too long to key punch, verify, colate and read them into the computer to go on.
49. The anti static spray used on the carpet was picked up by the cooling fans on the mainframe and all need replaced.
48. The Input power line ground has finally corroded and they built a new parking lot over the cable.
47. The air conditioner cooling tower pumps stopped and no one knows where the fuses are
46. The tape drive columns keep dumping tape and going into high speed rewind.
45. The cable broke on the disk drive head load mechanism and the replacement one you have is too short.
44. The wire board had all the wires pulled out by your dog and you lost the flow chart for the process.
43. The card punch unit keeps dropping column 26 and 45 and those are critical.
42. Someone spilled coke into the core house vent and it won't dry out without corroding.
41. The printer chain broke and the only one availabe has a Chinese char. set.
40. The 082 sorter is broken and you can't get 51 trays od 5081 cards ready by yourself.
39. The motor generator down stairs needs syncronization to the 60 cycle input but the resistor bank room is being cleaned.
38. No salesman is going to convince you to upgrade to some tilt and rotate wires and a plastic ball from your IBM B2
37. The keyboard printer goes clack clack clack very nicely thank you.
36. that new fangled flopy disk drive only takes 8" disks
35. That sticker that says, "Allow steam to build to proper operating pressure before engaging hard drive."
34. When you try to link it to your son's new 2.9 gigahertz Windows XP machine it just keeps saying "What's this?"
33. That application that runs your ARPANET connection doesn't even have an icon.
32. You proudly tell everyone that nine inch screen was "state-of-the-art" when you bought it.
31. The processor is bigger than your car.
30. It takes a crew of five technicians just to power up.
29. After you went to all that trouble to learn basic, it just seemed a lot of trouble to try to learn those other operating systems.
28. Your punch card printer finally "gave up the ghost."
27. Does the word" Iniac" bring a bell?
26. A local salvage yard picked up a bunch of junked Brother Word Processors and the owner was nice enough to give you a hundred five inch floppies, giving you plenty of "extra" storage 25. The National Computer Museum has a wonderful supply of parts at really good prices.
24. Printing your programs to ticker-tape and 'then' entering them through a reader doesn't take as much time as most people think.
23. That screaming 18 megahertz processor.
22. Microsoft Word 1.0 isn't all that bad.
21. You're afraid you'd be spoiling your kids if you got a color screen 'just' to so they can play video games on it.
20. Windows 3.1 runs fine as long as you know how to tweak on it a couple of times a day.
19. You just got used to C: prompts and don't see any need to upgrade to that newfangled Windows stuff.
18. These new high speed networks are just a luxury, moving files on floppies works just fine.
17. The case is made of wood.
16. That incredibly fast 1200 baud modem is a pretty good clue.
15. It has four megs of memory and all of the memory slots are full.
14. Your programs load off of a cassette tape.
12. You turn it on, go on vacation for a week and return to find it's still loading up.
11. The prime language is FORTRAN.
10. Lower corner of screen has the words "etch a sketch" on it.
9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes
8. You have to pedal it
7. The manual contains one sentence: "good luck!"
6. Only chip inside is a dorito
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling
4. You catch a virus from it
3. Screen frequently freezes and message comes up: "Ain't it break
time, Chester?"
2. While running, it emits deafening calliope music (yes, there is such a thing, look it up)
1. It cyber-snickers at you

 

[missy2014]

It is highly recommended Please keep this door shut( Aeroplane)

 

[missy2014]

Please dont look at the sun through your telescope (filters are whats needed)

 

[Rockrz]

Funny Tech Support Stories
(supposed to be actual accounts from tech support people)


1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the 'Any' key is.

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that
his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of
the disk and wondered why there were problems.

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting
in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I made this thread because of the warning Skype gives when you choose "Quit Skype";

Are you sure you want to quit Skype?
You won't be able to send and receive instant messages and calls if you do

Yeah, Microsoft has abandonment issues.

Though not a stupid question/warning, this advertisement for a Lenovo laptop is one of the greatest things I've ever come across (translation from a Chinese come-on ad):

"Look forward to legendary keyboard with TrackPoint That a large contribution to the high rate of success of ThinkPad notebooks. Hilarious duo adds dimensional touchpad, which offers superior feel and long-term job security... Battery life up to 6 hours meet even the most secret wishes."

It's like something straight out of engrish.com. Lol.

 

[hornetguy]

Yeah, Microsoft has abandonment issues.

Though not a stupid question/warning, this advertisement for a Lenovo laptop is one of the greatest things I've ever come across (translation from a Chinese come-on ad):

"Look forward to legendary keyboard with TrackPoint That a large contribution to the high rate of success of ThinkPad notebooks. Hilarious duo adds dimensional touchpad, which offers superior feel and long-term job security... Battery life up to 6 hours meet even the most secret wishes."

It's like something straight out of engrish.com. Lol.

We called it "Jinglish"....