I'm not sure I follow your first paragraph. Can you explain further? Thank you
For most of my teenage years I went to an AOG church and never spoke in tongues. I figured I just couldn't be as holy as the people in the church who spoke in tongues so it was something I could never receive
When I was nineteen I read a book about how a minister received the gift. He and a friend went to a retreat. While they were there a woman asked them if she could pray with them to recive the gift of speaking in tongues. They agreed and went into a room with her and knelt on the floor. She laid her hands on their head, they waited expectantly but nothnig happened, they felt no different.
She asked them if there were any strange sounding words in their heads. The minister thought for a minute, there were jumbled up words that made no sense in his mind but he had dismissed them as just his imagination, however he told the woman this
She asked him if he would say them out loud. He felt a fool, surely it couldn't be the gift of tongues. But he and his friend spoke words that made no sense. They felt foolish, they were about to give up when all of a sudden the words flowed and tears ran down their cheeks, they had stood on faith not feelings or emotion.
Now I don't know about your church but we were led to believe when you were baptised in the Holy Spirit it would be an incredible feeling. I imagined it would be like being hit by a ten ton truck and knocked off my feet by the way people spoke in the church, BUT WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. So I had always looked for the emotion if you see what I mean, the feelings
But after reading that book I believed speaking in tongues didn't happen by being 'good enough' worthy enough' as a Christian but by faith. So I knelt by my bed, and mouthed words that sounded gibberish to me as those two ministers had done and I persevered with this, in the end the words flowed over a period of time. But I had no huge emotional experiance
A couple of years later a minister who I had never met prayed with me and confirmed my speaking in tongues was genuine
Now just because it happened that way for me does not mean it would be the same for everyone. But will we stand on faith or wait for the emotion? That is not faith