Advice on hair relaxer for guys?

Random I know haha. But this is the right place for that right?

My bf has decided to grow his hair long and is at an awkward in-between stage that is bothering him. He apparently tried to do it years ago but didn't take care of it at all and it was so broken and unhealthy that clumps of it would just come out.

Taking some of my basic advice (mostly just washing and conditioning every day with really quality shampoos and making sure he combs it while its still wet) he is having another really good go at it and it's really strong and healthy.

He's gradually accepting that a good result is going to take a little maintenance, and at his own agenda (I'd never pressure him to do something like this that takes such long term effort for my own preference, this is based on his own goal) but, understandably, as a guy, he's trying to find a balance between sacrifice and dignity since he doesn't wanna get all girly forever focusing on his hair and doing fussy things like straightening and blow drying.

Sometimes I blow dry it for him if I happen to be nearby drying my own hair, mostly as a playfully affectionate head massage of sorts, and it comes out looking kind of mop-top and straight which he kind of looks at curiously in the mirror and doesn't seem to mind. But I doubt he's about to start blow drying his own hair regularly himself. He gets up really early for work and usually showers in the afternoon.

What bothers him is the bits at the bottom of his neck that aren't long enough to hold much weight yet and they get fluffy and curly, and a few curly bits around the sides of his head, one tuft one one side in particular that sometimes insists on sticking out.

The weather is thankfully cold right now so maybe during this growth stage he can mostly get away with just wearing a beanie.

But anyway I did mention to him the other day that maybe we could put some relaxer in it and it is supposed to straighten it out and make it fall flat, "permanently" so it wouldn't be a constant maintenance thing.

He seemed intrigued by that idea but this isn't something I can see him bothering to research himself and I don't want to lead him down a bad path, and I don't know much about it. He probably won't see a hairdresser especially if it's pricey, so if we do take this option I'm probably looking at doing it myself.

I hadn't even heard of relaxer before seeing the documentary "hair" by Chris Rock a few years back and from what I remember it was kind of painted in a bad light, but partially with views to black culture and the impact on it of such a person's hair and how it's viewed by society.

I don't have a great attention span for research (due to a partial learning disability) and most of the youtube videos I've found (I learn best Kinaesthetically, and online, youtube is probably the closest I can get) seem to be focused on African or other naturally thick and frizzy hair. My bf is white with dark hair that is mildly wavy at best.

I saw a couple of people on the turorials I've seen mention that you shouldn't use a metal comb, and that you should use the back of the comb - one commented that this is so your hair won't fall out but I'm not sure if they were kidding!

I don't want to do anything that is going to damage his hair after he's made so much effort, and I don't know much either about how long the effects last, whether there are side effects to the scalp etc, or even where to obtain products and which ones are a good idea to try.

Anyone out there know anything about this that could help? Or even a link to a helpful site, especially a tutorial, would be nice.

Thanks!

Keratin treatment or use anything with keratin, it weighs the hair down and strengthens

only thing that ever worked for me was a razor..............sigh........

Well, I have to agree with Didymos: Long hair is for girls...

Now, I don't know if your bf has a special condition which makes him need to have long hair (like he's bald in the center of her head) or maybe he just really likes having long hair. I don't really mind his reasons, but whatever you do, PLEASE don't use relaxer, that's the worst thing you can do, especially if he's trying to grow healthy hair.

Relaxer= lye, it's as simple as that, and he'll become a slave of the "creamy crack" because is not as simple as applying a magic cream to your hair and, voila!, you have straight hair.... you need to give maintenance to it, and if you don't your hair will fall. Trust me, I've been there, and when I transitioned back to my natural hair I finally felt free.
God gave me this curly, frizzy hair, and if He created me like that it's because I look beautiful with it, and I'm sure your bf looks great with his natural hair too

Lol at the long hair pic.

As I said, this is not my agenda. He wants to grow his hair long. That's his choice. I've only told him what I know about keeping healthy hair because he wants to do this and what stopped him last time was his hair being too broken.

He doesn't want to cut or shave it. Unless it's a trim that helps it to grow.

What specifically does this long-term maintenance of relaxer involve?

I'm trying to gather info for him here. In the end it's his decision. It's largely unhelpful if I say "hey I was asking around and someone at cc said don't do it it's a bad idea." He's a facts man and likes to weigh options for himself based on logic.

And banter aside he's not a Christian ... so biblical references about what he should do about his hair is not going to be helpful.

Hello, and sorry for taking so long to reply

Well, for facts about maintenance I would say to him that he's gonna need to go to a salon if he wants to keep his relaxed hair.
When you apply relaxer to hair you'r changing its composition with a chemical, which is a pretty strong stuff.
His hair is gonna change, it will probably get weaker and he won't have the facility to do things that where normal before (like wetting his hair every day).
I have to stress this fact: you can't wet your relaxed hair every day, or every two days, unless you blow dry it afterwards. And even if you blow dry it every time you wet it, if you do that frequently you'r gonna end up with unhealthy broken hair.

I could address many more facts that make chemicaly treated hair undesirable, but I;ll probably end up talking about black hair, since that's my background, and you already saw that documentary of Chris Rock.
But even though you're bf hair is different, I would say that the same things apply to any kind of hair, so I recommend you to show him that documentary, so he get the facts he wants.