Christian jokes

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Prov910

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2017
880
43
0
#1
After all, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?

I'll start: (this one is for the Immaculate Conception crowd)

======================================

Jesus is standing between an angry Jewish mob and a sobbing adulteress.

Jesus: "Let he among you who has not sinned cast the first stone."

There is a moment of silence as the people in the mob cast their eyes downward. They begin dropping their stones to the ground, and turning away. Then someone from the middle of the crowd lobs a stone up over Jesus' head—it hits the woman squarely in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her.

Jesus (indignantly): "Mom!"
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#3
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

one of my aunts might attest to this she's said before if people aren't to drink coffee then it wouldn't say He brews in the bible.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
15,465
1,424
113
52
#4
What is the difference between Catholics and Baptists? Catholics will actually acknowledge each other at the liquor store.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
15,465
1,424
113
52
#5
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

Who was the funniest person in the Bible?
Sampson. He brought the house down.

Who was the greatest financer in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#6
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

looked this up in the bible and it is kind of funny.
 

Prov910

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2017
880
43
0
#9
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

looked this up in the bible and it is kind of funny.
Ha ha! 1 John 4:17 / John 4:17 is a weird dichotomy too!
 

Prov910

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2017
880
43
0
#11
Sol and Abe are strolling down the street and come upon a sign placed outside a huge Catholic church: “$1,000 to anyone who converts today”. Abe turns to Sol, “I need to investigate this.” And he goes into the church. An hour later Abe comes out. Sol is waiting for him.

Sol: “So, did you convert?”
Abe (with serenity in his voice): “Why, yes, I am now a Catholic.”
Sol: “And the $1,000, did they give it to you?”
Abe: “What, is that all you people think about??”
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#12
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

 

Shilo

Senior Member
Aug 31, 2011
1,882
38
48
#13
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

Moses fishing fishing_moses.jpg
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
13,037
700
113
#15
The Bible talks about modern day conveniences. Like cars, for example - they were all in one Accord.

Bible talks about medication too. Moses took two tablets and went up on the mountain.

Bible talks about indoor toilets. King David sat on the throne for 40 years!
 
Jan 27, 2015
2,578
175
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#16
Re: I die a little more inside whenever I post trash like this

one of my aunts might attest to this she's said before if people aren't to drink coffee then it wouldn't say He brews in the bible.
But it doesn't say She brews...so women can't make coffee! :rolleyes: