Funny thing kids say .

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Laish

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2016
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#1
Earlier today while driving home from the park with my youngest daughter ( 7 years old) a radio add for the upcoming Avengers movie was aired. The tag line for the movie was where will you be when it all ends ? Then from the backseat I head “duhaa in heaven !” I lost it I could not stop laughing.
Then I recalled the time I was reading to her out of her Bible. The story of David and Goliath. I was explaining the significance of this story concerning faith when she asked a question. “Dad did you meet David?” Note I am a older guy older than my wife (10 years) and most of our friends. I said no sweetie. Then the next question came (How about Jesus?) I was in tears as I laughed saying no sweetie.
I have more stories but I would like to hear other stories about funny things kids have said .
Blessings
Bill
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#2
I was talking to a 4-year-old at our church today who is sure he wants to be a demolition worker. His version of demolition workers are people who wear hard-hats and blow things up (he pantomimed for me--like blowing up a balloon), so they have room to build toys for their kids. xD. But, "Demolition workers do NOT go to OPC churches!" The things children come up with :)
 
Mar 13, 2018
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#3
My son is homeschooled and couldn't find his writing tablet to complete his math. My wife found it and was bringing it to him and said "whatbwoyld ya do without me?" He responded "probably not math, and I'd eat corn dogs"

Crazy kid...
 

Pipp

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2013
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#4
My 7 year old niece was leaving with me to go to a wedding , as we were walking out the door she said " ok..
I've got my pocket book and inside I have 2 snacks and my lipstick, OK let's go! "
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,509
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#5
Last week.

Child: "You look like you work for a politician!"

Me: "Is that an insult or a compliment?"

Child: "Hug me!"
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
5,577
384
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Germany
#6
Me when i was small..
Old lady in restaurant: aww your soo sweet

I turn to my mom: mom this woman has no teeth!
..
I randomly went up to my dad
Daddyyyyy
* yes sweetheart
Daddy....sh** your pants!
*shocked...gasping...
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
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#7
My niece is a woman now, but when she was a little girl(6 or 7), she went shopping with her grandparents. Her grandmother was an aisle over, getting some cereal, when she noticed her husband coming swiftly up the aisle, muttering,"be quiet, Mandy!" She was running behind him, loudly shouting,"Grampa, you fart,!" Over and over.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#8
During the pre-worship prelude for our Easter service, when almost everyone had taken their seats, I slid into the pew in front of my pastor's family. They have several children of various ages, and they know me quite well, as I often babysit them. The four-year-old little girl looked over my pink spring Easter dress (my winter wardrobe is much darker, generally), and she giggled and said loudly, "Why are you wearing that?"
Ok, not really the question I want to answer in front of the whole church! But..."Because it is nice and springish, and I think it is pretty. Do you like it?"
She shrugged.
"What did you think I SHOULD be wearing?" I asked her.
"NOTHING!"
FACE FRONT!

She later brought up the subject of my dress again, and I discovered that she had decided she liked it and meant she wanted me to be wearing nothing DIFFERENT...Ah-hem.
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,491
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#9
When a friend of mine was a young boy he was riding on a bus with his mother. (His mother had previously told him that women who were pregnant had eaten watermelon seeds and were growing watermelons in their belly.) He saw a pregnant woman on the bus, walked up to her and said, "I know what you been doin."
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,491
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#10
A Christian comedian tells a story of when he was a child, the preacher was talking about sin. The preacher asked, "What shall we do about sin?"

He asked it again. He asked yet a third time.

The little boy answered in the voice of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud."

(The joke works better if you can imagine the inflection Don Knotts would put in to it.)
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#11
A Christian comedian tells a story of when he was a child, the preacher was talking about sin. The preacher asked, "What shall we do about sin?"

He asked it again. He asked yet a third time.

The little boy answered in the voice of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud."

(The joke works better if you can imagine the inflection Don Knotts would put in to it.)
I honestly would not have thought that was funny unless you added that. Now I can hear it perfectly XD.
 

Laish

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2016
1,351
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#12
A Christian comedian tells a story of when he was a child, the preacher was talking about sin. The preacher asked, "What shall we do about sin?"

He asked it again. He asked yet a third time.

The little boy answered in the voice of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud."

(The joke works better if you can imagine the inflection Don Knotts would put in to it.)
[video=youtube;0mj6B4DtNyM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mj6B4DtNyM&feature=share[/video]
lol this is classic!
Blessings
Bill
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,509
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#13
Conversing with a black boy.

Boy: Is your momma white?

Me: Yes, very.

Boy: Is your daddy white?

Me: Whiter than me.

Boy: How is your daddy whiter than you?

Me: He isn't part Jewish.

Boy: What's Jewish?

Me: Ask your mom.
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,491
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#14
[video=youtube;0mj6B4DtNyM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mj6B4DtNyM&feature=share[/video]
lol this is classic!
Blessings
Bill

Great! Thanks. ;-)
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#15
Since getting a Jersey milk cow five years ago I am fallen to the extent of being quite snobbish about my ice cream, and store bought stuff really doesn't make the cut. Last week, I brought some of my lovely vanilla ice cream to church for the after-service meal. One of the young boys came up to me and asked about it, thus:

Boy: Did you MAKE the ice cream?
Me: Yes, I did :).
Boy: Wow! I didn't know. It tasted so good I thought it was storebought!
Me:...I--am glad you enjoyed it...
 
Mar 8, 2018
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#16
years ago, my 5 yo son at dinner one night was purposely avoiding his vegetables.
I calmly pointed and said " eat your vegetables ".
son.. " I can't "
Me.... " why not "
son ( with a very intense serious look )" I'm ELECTRIC to vegetables "
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#17
I walked into a public bathroom last week, all the stalls were full, so I stood back and quietly waited. A very young boy was waiting outside the stall for his mother. He regarded me seriously for a few minutes, and then sidled up to one of the doors on the stalls and said "Mom, hurry up. There's a customer." I almost lost it, which I am pretty sure the lady would not have appreciated...
 
Sep 30, 2015
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#18
My niece and her father were at the golf coure. She was around 8 and driving with him. The staff told them she couldn’t be driving. Her reply was “ Have you got a problem with midgets?”
 

LittleMermaid

Senior Member
Dec 25, 2017
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#19
When my cousin Ryan was about 7 years old he said "I mean, I wanna be a vegan because I feel bad for the animals...but I just CAN'T stop eating those juicy burgers!" :p haha He's hilarious.
 

mcubed

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
1,437
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#20
I was chewing my son out, for taking a pair of scissors and cutting the arm of the couch, just because the scissors were there and he was board; he was around 5 or so. He had the audacity to look at me and say "Mom we are all sinners saved by grace".... I shut my mouth and walked away.... What can you say to that!?! From a 5 year old... He NEVER GOT HIS SPAKEN!!!! And I never left scissors around again.... lol...