How to Improve your self confidence

TemporaryCircumstances · Jan 14, 2017

I am making this thread because I had a volleyball game tonight, and the suggestions I got to better myself got me thinking.
Something someone said was;

You are a better player than those on higher teams, but what separates you is your confidence. She KNOWS she can hit the ball or serve it over. And when she misses it she laughs and says bring on the next ball. You get into your head. And it makes so much difference, if you say "I've done this 1000 times before, I've got it this time" and you know you can do it you will move up to the higher teams.

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how to raise your confidence in your ability?

WineRose · Jan 14, 2017

Uh...is high self confidence even biblical? I'm not sure if what you're asking is a sin or not...but you can raise confidence in your abilities and skills by simply practicing every day and see your abilities slowly improve over time, so there's that...

Awakened · Jan 14, 2017

You don’t need self-esteem, you need God-esteem.☺ Let your confidence come from God’s ability not self ability. Remember to have humble/confidence.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me

Hebrews 10:35-36 - Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward

Joshua 1:9 - Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.

You are the “workmanship” of a perfect God Ephesians 2:10

God created you and knows them better than you know yourself. You are His child 1 John 3:1

You are more valuable than they will ever realize Matthew 10:31

maxwel · Jan 14, 2017

I think we make this too complicated, and get hung up in semantics.

It's fine to have confidence in your skills...
as long as you remember that directly, or indirectly, they come from God.

If you're born just naturally good at certain things...
you need to remember that GOD allowed you to be born that way.
You didn't give yourself natural talents... those were given to you by God.

If you work hard to make yourself good at certain things...
you need to remember that GOD gave you the physical health, and the mind, and the drive, and the opportunities.
God gave you all the abilities, along with the personality, to work hard and become good at those things.

So, it's fine to have confidence in our abilities,
as long as we remember it all came from God.

As far as developing confidence,
we generally see confidence develop as we spend more time doing a thing.
That's a natural order that God seems to have built into our nature.
But as this happens, the Christian just needs to remember that our natural abilities, along with our abilities to work hard and improve, all come from God.

Desertsrose · Jan 14, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

Hi Natania,

I loved volleyball when I was younger. Well any sport really! And what a great question!

I'm sure you realize that our confidence will be through the working of our faith in Christ. We realize that all things can be done through God's strength. One confidence builder for me was this scripture in Ephesians.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6

When I read that we're blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ, that was such a confidence-builder as to my faith in Christ. The thought that I have everything I need in Him helped me walk with renewed faith, realizing that whatever God has called me to do, I can do it because in Christ we have every spiritual blessing - everything we'll ever need.

And another one along those lines is the scriptures this one.

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. 2 Peter 1:2-4

There's that word everything again. Everything we need that pertains to life and Godliness we've been given through the power of God. When reading that, it was another exciting moment to know that I'm not doing this alone in my own strength. We've have partaken of Hiis divine nature. Again, we can do all things through the strength of Christ.

There are other scriptures as well that will build your faith in Christ. God gives us knowledge and understanding so that we can walk in his wisdom with power in the Holy Spirit! The confidence builds as we grow in Him and it's confidence in what He does in and through us.

Because He is able, we are able. Because we trust Him, we can put our confidence in Him, knowing He will work in and through us in our daily walk with Him. And like Volleyball, we need to be disciplined in the reading and studying of God's word. It might take 1001 readings before we have that aha moment, but we are assured that we will have His knowledge, His understanding and His wisdom. We keep excercising those muscles that need strengthening through His word and through prayer.

Again, great question!!!

Demi777 · Jan 14, 2017

We havr an awesome God!
1 timothy 1:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Joshua 1:9
9 [FONT=&quot]Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Lord[/FONT][FONT=&quot] your God [/FONT]is with you wherever you go.”

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

missy2014 · Jan 14, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

I am making this thread because I had a volleyball game tonight, and the suggestions I got to better myself got me thinking.
Something someone said was;

You are a better player than those on higher teams, but what separates you is your confidence. She KNOWS she can hit the ball or serve it over. And when she misses it she laughs and says bring on the next ball. You get into your head. And it makes so much difference, if you say "I've done this 1000 times before, I've got it this time" and you know you can do it you will move up to the higher teams.

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how to raise your confidence in your ability?

Ty really helpful thread

resurrection33 · Jan 14, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

I am making this thread because I had a volleyball game tonight, and the suggestions I got to better myself got me thinking.
Something someone said was;

You are a better player than those on higher teams, but what separates you is your confidence. She KNOWS she can hit the ball or serve it over. And when she misses it she laughs and says bring on the next ball. You get into your head. And it makes so much difference, if you say "I've done this 1000 times before, I've got it this time" and you know you can do it you will move up to the higher teams.

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how to raise your confidence in your ability?

When we obey the Lord's commandments, our confidence shoots sky high. Practice and learning are helpful, too.

Willie-T · Jan 14, 2017

I've found that self-awareness was better than self-confidence. And Self-Esteem is scary. After all, Isaiah says that we mistakenly esteemed (falsely perceived) a lot of things about Jesus.

Depleted · Jan 15, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

Hit the ball 1000 times and keep count of how often it goes where you planned it to go, until it's easier to keep count of the number of times it doesn't go where you planned it to go.

Then work on getting that number of goofs down lower and lower (per 1000 balls.)

Hey! You asked. And I'm anal, so what else were you expecting from someone like me? lol

Seriously, my confidence in writing came through success. I wrote something to get published and only once was it not published. Since the one time came with the best rejection letter anyone can get, I counted it as a "publish-worthy." (I'm not using rose-colored glasses. The rejection was from Christianity Today back when it was a printed mag, and she told me she loved it, but they aren't planning on doing an issue on that subject in the next couple of years, so couldn't use it. She even asked me to resend in 18 months. Meh. I became disabled at the time, so had other things to deal with.)

If I like doing something enough to learn how to do it, I count one success at a time. For volleyball, (given I was 5'11", so the tallest girl in high school, and about even with the guys in 10th grade), my goal was to spike that ball right into the face of my opponent. (Oh! Have I mentioned I might go overboard on competitiveness?

) Or to get the ball an inch above the net on the apex of an arch at sonic speed when I was the server.

At first, I couldn't do either. I kept practicing until it was 50/50. Then I was ready to play with a team. Of course, playing with a team means there are a bunch of people trying to stop me from doing either, so I had to get back you to 50/50. And then 55/45. And then 60/40. I truly kept track without rose-colored glasses. (I'm an optimist, so I easily go for what I want to see, instead of what is real. Thus reference to rose-colored glasses.)

Then I determined success by track record. One goof every 10 tries wasn't good enough. I replayed how I goofed to see where I went wrong and worked on that part. Same thing when one out of 100. BUT by then I also took the time to appreciate the 99 I did get right. And I played them over in my mind to see what form worked and if there was any wasted stuff I did as good-luck charms. (Yeah. I don't believe in luck, but it doesn't mean I still don't have a tiny part in me who thinks it was my fault the Eagles didn't score because I walked out of the room. It's in there. It's dumb. I just have to work at it by walking out of the room to prove it wasn't my doing. Same with anything I get passionate about. lol)

Oh, important thing to know. I am competitive, but my competitiveness is internal. Whether it was basketball, volleyball, bowling, or even gardening, the goal is always the same. "Get better than I was the last time." It's never about beating anyone else. I can look back at what I did and there is never an opponent's face in that image. (Well, one guy with volleyball, but only because he was into it like I was. He faced me on the other side of the net and told me, "Not this time." And, sometimes he was right. Sometimes he was wrong. But we enjoyed the same moment together because it came down to what each of us planned to do when we were just on the other side of the net from the other. I even see his arm as the ball was careening to my face. lol)

Some people really are good at brushing off the goof. If that works for you, go for it. BUT I'm the type that has to learn from my goof to get better. I think the most important thing is to remember we are getting better. I need objective evidence to see that. And I hold on to that as well as the goofs.

One of the boys in our group home was told over and over again that he was brilliant. He believed it despite his grades being average. We're the ones who investigated further. He was average. His IQ was 100. (As average as it gets. lol) So we taught him it was time for him to work harder because he had to go with reality, not what he was being told. His grades improved. Not greatly, but they improved a little. Funny thing reality does for us.

Use reality to work for you.

(And, oh yeah. I really wanted to go with "Remember God, so it's not self-confidence" too, but honestly? This is sports, so it's mostly about having fun. You don't "got to" at all with sports. Your "got tos" have more to do with God, your younger siblings, and your grades. Pick the most important things and remember the rest is just frosting on the cake God has given us.)

Depleted · Jan 15, 2017

Sooo, how was the volleyball game yesterday? More importantly, what did you do right and what did you do wrong? How can you improve?

Spurgeoncy · Jan 15, 2017

It's all in the Alpha waves..

B.E.L.I.E.F

Visualize where you want the ball to go before you hit it - that helps

Socreta93 · Jan 15, 2017

I say the cliche is answer is just practice your butt off that everything you do comes as second nature. One you get to a game, you won't feel pressure but feel confident that you've doe this 10000 times.

peacenik · Jan 16, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

Great topic.

Build others up and they will do the same for you. That's how you improve team work and ultimately obtain team success.

TemporaryCircumstances · Jan 16, 2017

Depleted said:

Hit the ball 1000 times and keep count of how often it goes where you planned it to go, until it's easier to keep count of the number of times it doesn't go where you planned it to go.

Then work on getting that number of goofs down lower and lower (per 1000 balls.)

Hey! You asked. And I'm anal, so what else were you expecting from someone like me? lol

Seriously, my confidence in writing came through success. I wrote something to get published and only once was it not published. Since the one time came with the best rejection letter anyone can get, I counted it as a "publish-worthy." (I'm not using rose-colored glasses. The rejection was from Christianity Today back when it was a printed mag, and she told me she loved it, but they aren't planning on doing an issue on that subject in the next couple of years, so couldn't use it. She even asked me to resend in 18 months. Meh. I became disabled at the time, so had other things to deal with.)

If I like doing something enough to learn how to do it, I count one success at a time. For volleyball, (given I was 5'11", so the tallest girl in high school, and about even with the guys in 10th grade), my goal was to spike that ball right into the face of my opponent. (Oh! Have I mentioned I might go overboard on competitiveness?

) Or to get the ball an inch above the net on the apex of an arch at sonic speed when I was the server.

At first, I couldn't do either. I kept practicing until it was 50/50. Then I was ready to play with a team. Of course, playing with a team means there are a bunch of people trying to stop me from doing either, so I had to get back you to 50/50. And then 55/45. And then 60/40. I truly kept track without rose-colored glasses. (I'm an optimist, so I easily go for what I want to see, instead of what is real. Thus reference to rose-colored glasses.)

Then I determined success by track record. One goof every 10 tries wasn't good enough. I replayed how I goofed to see where I went wrong and worked on that part. Same thing when one out of 100. BUT by then I also took the time to appreciate the 99 I did get right. And I played them over in my mind to see what form worked and if there was any wasted stuff I did as good-luck charms. (Yeah. I don't believe in luck, but it doesn't mean I still don't have a tiny part in me who thinks it was my fault the Eagles didn't score because I walked out of the room. It's in there. It's dumb. I just have to work at it by walking out of the room to prove it wasn't my doing. Same with anything I get passionate about. lol)

Oh, important thing to know. I am competitive, but my competitiveness is internal. Whether it was basketball, volleyball, bowling, or even gardening, the goal is always the same. "Get better than I was the last time." It's never about beating anyone else. I can look back at what I did and there is never an opponent's face in that image. (Well, one guy with volleyball, but only because he was into it like I was. He faced me on the other side of the net and told me, "Not this time." And, sometimes he was right. Sometimes he was wrong. But we enjoyed the same moment together because it came down to what each of us planned to do when we were just on the other side of the net from the other. I even see his arm as the ball was careening to my face. lol)

Some people really are good at brushing off the goof. If that works for you, go for it. BUT I'm the type that has to learn from my goof to get better. I think the most important thing is to remember we are getting better. I need objective evidence to see that. And I hold on to that as well as the goofs.

One of the boys in our group home was told over and over again that he was brilliant. He believed it despite his grades being average. We're the ones who investigated further. He was average. His IQ was 100. (As average as it gets. lol) So we taught him it was time for him to work harder because he had to go with reality, not what he was being told. His grades improved. Not greatly, but they improved a little. Funny thing reality does for us.

Use reality to work for you.

(And, oh yeah. I really wanted to go with "Remember God, so it's not self-confidence" too, but honestly? This is sports, so it's mostly about having fun. You don't "got to" at all with sports. Your "got tos" have more to do with God, your younger siblings, and your grades. Pick the most important things and remember the rest is just frosting on the cake God has given us.)

Exactly the type of answer I was looking for thank you!!!

TemporaryCircumstances · Jan 16, 2017

Depleted said:

Yes,
I've been thinking about that,
Thank you

TemporaryCircumstances · Jan 16, 2017

peacenik said:

Yeah, our team is working on that

Depleted · Jan 16, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

Yeah, but did you get to smash any balls? (I really loved making it impossible to hit back. lol)

TemporaryCircumstances · Jan 16, 2017

Depleted said:

Lol,
Well, I play setter this season.
My hitting needs drastic improvement, but I have improved A LOT this year.
I usually either play libero or setter

So no lol

Depleted · Jan 16, 2017

TemporaryCircumstances said:

Dang, girl! That gives you a head start on that patience thingy. (I consider setting a necessary evil. I'm into get it over NOW! No wonder I lack patience. lol)

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