I feel taken advantage of

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Dec 17, 2019
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#1
I have worked so hard serving the families of the church through the children's programs since I was a child myself. I recently had to step down from a position and the remaining people decided they wanted an unrealistic number of volunteers to continue so the group will no longer be meeting. This is hard for me because I helped start this group but with running another group in the church and homeschooling my kids I'm exhausted. One of my kids was just diagnosed with autism and requires constant attention. But instead of hey thanks for doing this for the past 3 years I get "but you can't quit my kid enjoys this." But none of them are willing to pitch in at all! There were 5 of us running this group and there were a few times I was like hey I've been up for 30 hours trying to get this done can I get some help? And they would say things like "sorry I'm tired I'm heading to bed." There was a person in this group who likes to make a big deal out of needing special treatment for everything and they were so willing to do whatever she wanted but when my family has needs I'm told to deal with it. Her wants come first. Its like they forgot that I'm a person with feelings too and I hate it.
Tonight was the last night. I sat alone and nobody even bothered to speak to me besides to tell me I should have brought my own food instead of sitting there being awkward by not eating. I'm sorry my food allergies offend you but I was too busy getting ready for the night to make dinner!
I'm so exhausted and feel so alone. I feel like I don't even matter. And even worse we have been unable to even attend church because theres nowhere for my son to go and he can't handle the service. And quite honestly they just don't care. Shouldn't church support families who are at the end of their rope because not once have I experienced that.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
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#2
Dear Mamma. You sound very overwhelmed and hurt. I am so sorry you have not been given the affirmation and appreciation you deserve. My oma (grandmother) would sometimes remind me, that even if no one sees the good work you do, that the angels watch. For her, when she had a stroke and would sorrow that she couldn't be useful any more, this was a comfort.
Unfortunately in our modern church, a culture of consumerism and being a spectator has damaged people's understanding that everyone needs to contribute. It is not right that you have been burned out. I have a great deal of respect for you as you help your child navigate the challenges presented with autism.
We have not met but I thank you for the work you put in to the young lives in your church. Hugs to you and I know that the One who matters has seen and knows your heart.

"The Apostle Paul and Sosthenes wrote to the Corinthian church: “For I think that God hath set forth us the apostles last, as it were appointed to death: for we are made a spectacle unto the world, and to angels, and to men” (1 Corinthians 4:9). Angels watched Paul and his companions conduct their ministries. The idea of “spectacle” is one of an arena or a theater: we are center-stage and the angels are sitting in the stands! Angels observe our activities—they see our sufferings for the Gospel’s sake, they hear our voices when we read God’s Word aloud, they see us do the work of the ministry, and so on. We cannot see them but they can see us. "
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,805
1,154
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#3
Welcome, mammagoose!

I can quite feel what you are going thru, wc moms sometimes deal w/ at home or in the larger church family. May the Lord be your comfort and Restorer, joy and strength. We often feel weary while doing good, esp when others do not seem to appreciate our efforts. But as LH said, our Father sees all. Your efforts have not gone to waste, and have your reward in good time.

If you cannot go to a church for ur son, it may be alright to 'rest,' have a break, seek one where you can all grow and serve w/o the weariness experienced where you are now. Glad you're w/ us now, and realize you are not alone. I hope you are refreshed w/ fellowship w/ other striving, loving, and forgiven bros and sisters who seek and serve the Lord in the forums!
 

bojack

Well-known member
Dec 16, 2019
2,311
997
113
#4
I have worked so hard serving the families of the church through the children's programs since I was a child myself. I recently had to step down from a position and the remaining people decided they wanted an unrealistic number of volunteers to continue so the group will no longer be meeting. This is hard for me because I helped start this group but with running another group in the church and homeschooling my kids I'm exhausted. One of my kids was just diagnosed with autism and requires constant attention. But instead of hey thanks for doing this for the past 3 years I get "but you can't quit my kid enjoys this." But none of them are willing to pitch in at all! There were 5 of us running this group and there were a few times I was like hey I've been up for 30 hours trying to get this done can I get some help? And they would say things like "sorry I'm tired I'm heading to bed." There was a person in this group who likes to make a big deal out of needing special treatment for everything and they were so willing to do whatever she wanted but when my family has needs I'm told to deal with it. Her wants come first. Its like they forgot that I'm a person with feelings too and I hate it.
Tonight was the last night. I sat alone and nobody even bothered to speak to me besides to tell me I should have brought my own food instead of sitting there being awkward by not eating. I'm sorry my food allergies offend you but I was too busy getting ready for the night to make dinner!
I'm so exhausted and feel so alone. I feel like I don't even matter. And even worse we have been unable to even attend church because theres nowhere for my son to go and he can't handle the service. And quite honestly they just don't care. Shouldn't church support families who are at the end of their rope because not once have I experienced that.
14 Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.
God knows all you do and that you do it out of love . I'd bet there are some that notice but remain silent .. God Bless you Sis and your family .. And God Bless your ministry ..
15 For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish:
16 To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things?
17 For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#5
Get your Bible out and start reading, and you WILL FIND what Yeshua requires of YOU in order to find the grace and peace
that you are in need of: don't rely on 'man', (do your own home-work) and I know for sure, know that ALL of your needs,
and questions will be answered...
 
Dec 17, 2019
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#6
Thanks I think the worst part is that I didn't find any kindness in this group of Christians. One actually was holding a grudge against me for putting my family before her kid and I'm just so done with the drama.
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
18,333
4,656
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#7
Get your Bible out and start reading, and you WILL FIND what Yeshua requires of YOU in order to find the grace and peace
that you are in need of: don't rely on 'man', (do your own home-work) and I know for sure, know that ALL of your needs,
and questions will be answered...
I sure hope all who need this also, read and rfeceive understanding, amen. Praise Yah...
 
Dec 23, 2019
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#8
Two verses come to mind. "Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly spent my strength, Yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God" (Isaiah 49:4). And "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I'm sorry the members of your church were not more understanding of appreciative. At least God knows it all and nothing is in vain. What you contributed was important, but your family is also important. The early years are especially important for development in a child diagnosed with autism. Your child needs you. My brother has autism and my mom was told years ago he may not ever talk. Some are not verbal, but with early intervention he learned and is definitely on the advanced side of the spectrum now. To accommodate, some churches also have special needs ministries. If yours doesn't have one and won't or can't consider starting one, maybe see if another church in your area has one. Maybe they would be more supportive to you and the needs of your family. For now, know you're not alone. "The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest" (Matthew 9:37-38). We can pray that for your church and all others so we can better serve God and others. I know where I serve the same people end up serving multiple days in multiple ministries because the need is great but few step up. And special needs ministries would be a good idea to have in more churches as well. Take care and God bless you and your family.