Perfect strangers talk to each other during a disaster, but at church people dont talk to each other much.

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Deuteronomy

Well-known member
Jun 11, 2018
2,373
2,595
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#2
A family that doesn't talk to one another is a very sad thing indeed. This has not been my normal experience over the years, fortunately, but I know that it happens (and that it is often indicative of a deeper problem). Why is it happening at your church do you think?

~Deut
 
Aug 4, 2018
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#3
A family that doesn't talk to one another is a very sad thing indeed. This has not been my normal experience over the years, fortunately, but I know that it happens (and that it is often indicative of a deeper problem). Why is it happening at your church do you think?

~Deut
 
Aug 4, 2018
15
7
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#4
Hi Deut, I just wonder if it's because it's what people call a mega church. I've been attending since my kids were young , when the church was small. I've wondered if they could once in a while have a potluck. The pastors always suggest that we should join one of the groups. I talk to a couple people there .
 

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
Jun 11, 2018
2,373
2,595
113
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#5
Yeah, that's probably it. The mega-church down the road from me encourages pre/post service fellowship by offering free lattes and cappuccinos in a very open, comfortable/welcoming atmosphere, but most are on the move to their next event of the day as soon as the service is over. Small group Bible Study/Fellowship groups are the way to go, and/or grabbing a small group of friends for brunch after church can work too.

At Chuck Swindoll's mega-church in California, they solved the problem by forming churches of 200 or less within the mega-church. Each smaller church had its own pastor/staff, and they do everything together, just like any other church of 200 would do, so that people within each smaller church have a "family" they can know/serve with/be a part of each week. Each smaller church runs its own potlucks, VBS, youth missions, small groups, etc., and then they attend the mega-church services together as well.

The mega-church near me has a TON of $$ and they choose to prepare/serve & feed the poor/homeless in this area 1 meal/day, 365 days/year (the city serves them a second meal/day). So if your church has a church-wide ministry like that, that's another, wonderful way that you can come up with a "family" group within your church to talk to and minister with :)

~Deut
 
Aug 4, 2018
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#6
Thankyou for the advice ,Deut. It was very helpful. My own sister has been critical of my church because it's a mega church and she said she didn't care for it but I believe the church is on the right track. Thankyou
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
6,624
3,022
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#8
I think the problem is that going to church has become a viewing event,, not a taking part event.. Many people go to church as if they are sitting down and watching TV.. for them it is a passive pastime of just sitting back and being lectured to and entertained.. It is something the pastor or preacher and the music people put together and do for them..
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,952
4,766
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#9
Hi Deut, I just wonder if it's because it's what people call a mega church. I've been attending since my kids were young , when the church was small. I've wondered if they could once in a while have a potluck. The pastors always suggest that we should join one of the groups. I talk to a couple people there .
Y'all should come down here and visit our church... or any church in this area. After service we always stand around and yak for a while. A couple or three folks might bail out immediately after "amen" but the parking lot doesn't clear out for a good 15-20 minutes. Sometimes closer to an hour, depending on what we're talking about.
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
27,857
5,084
113
#10
Regarding the Thread Title:

You clearly have not been to my church................ :)

Getting folks to talk to you ain't the problem........getting 'em to STOP so you can go home IS!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,952
4,766
113
#11
Yeah, what he said.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that today is Sunday, I don't have anywhere I have to be in ten minutes, I have plenty of time, I'm not in a hurry... relax Lynx. It won't hurt me to listen to them talk for a few minutes.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,186
2,375
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#12
I've been at my local congregation for over a year. I'm an introvert, so it's taking me a little bit to get to know people. I'm the kind to leave right after the "amen," but my husband likes to talk with people lol. he's been there longer, so he knows more people. sometimes, I've packed my instrument, ready to go, and he still hasn't packed his instrument because he's socializing. the struggle is real lol.

BUT at my home church, I was among the last to leave because I knew peoples.
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
5,826
2,385
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#13
As others have posted, it really depends on the size and dynamic of the individual congregation. I've found that the larger the church the more likely that people are not connected within the community. Some mid sized churches are able to maintain the small church feel due to heavy participation in small groups. I know that the church I attend I routinely have to start pushing people towards the exit about 45 min after service because we have to be out of the school we meet in by 12:30.

The larger body that my congregation is a part of (we are a relatively new plant) has always maintained a small church feel due to a high level of participation in small groups that, other than over the summer months, meet three out of four weeks of the month.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#14
Lynx - Once,
this is really awesome and lovely to hear,
not to mention a rarity these days,
you are truly blessed...
 
Aug 4, 2018
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#15
Regarding the Thread Title:

You clearly have not been to my church................ :)

Getting folks to talk to you ain't the problem........getting 'em to STOP so you can go home IS!
Regarding the Thread Title:

You clearly have not been to my church................ :)

Getting folks to talk to you ain't the problem........getting 'em to STOP so you can go home IS!
 
Aug 4, 2018
15
7
3
#16
Wow, that's nice. It's so nice , but Im a quiet person, and sometimes it's not the easiest thing to just go up to someone you don't know to start a conversation. A lot of people at church just seem to leave church so fast . Only a few stay behind to talk to people they already know.
 
Aug 4, 2018
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#17
I've been at my local congregation for over a year. I'm an introvert, so it's taking me a little bit to get to know people. I'm the kind to leave right after the "amen," but my husband likes to talk with people lol. he's been there longer, so he knows more people. sometimes, I've packed my instrument, ready to go, and he still hasn't packed his instrument because he's socializing. the struggle is real lol.

BUT at my home church, I was among the last to leave because I knew peoples.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
35,798
13,142
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66
Tennessee
#18
Yeah, what he said.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that today is Sunday, I don't have anywhere I have to be in ten minutes, I have plenty of time, I'm not in a hurry... relax Lynx. It won't hurt me to listen to them talk for a few minutes.
I will take your advice and nod my head yes now and then to let them know that I am attempting to listen and understand.
 
Aug 4, 2018
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#19
HI melita916, I really would like to know more people there at my church. But it's a huge church. I'm also an introvert but I do have a couple people I talk to there. Im wondering if they are open for suggestions to get people together more. Thanks for your reply.:)
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
27,857
5,084
113
#20
I will take your advice and nod my head yes now and then to let them know that I am attempting to listen and understand.
:)
I have a T-Shirt that reads:

OF COURSE YOUR OPINION MATTERS
JUST NOT TO ME

I do not wear it to Church........
:)