How do you get over a cheating husband?

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Americana

Guest
#1
#1
Hi, everyone I'm Americana, and I have a problem, and want to know if anyone can help, or have gone through what I'm going through? I have been married for 40 years and this past March I found out my husband was cheating on me. He says there wasn't any thing sexual, but I have so many doubts..he would stay out and tell me he was working, or that he was going out with everyone from his work, to eat or just talk, but I caught him with a lady in her car, and he can't explain all the hours he spent with her, or all the cell phone calls between them, they called each other every day,he talked to her more than he talked to me. he said he was sorry but didn't think it was wrong to go out to eat with her or have a drink (he never went out for drinks or to a bar before), and he said all they did was talk, he wants me to put it all behind me, to forgive him, and move on, but it is so hard for me. I don't trust him, and he just doesn't get how much I'm hurt. It broke my heart! I just don't feel that same feeling in this marriage, but I want to try, and forgive him, and get over it, but it is so hard, and I pray all the time fro God to soften his heart, and love me. I feel so unloved, and have no self esteem, the lady he was with is about 17 years younger than him. Even if it was an emotional affair, it has broken my heart. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you...
 
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princessdeb4111962

Guest
#2
#2
Americana said:
Hi, everyone I'm Americana, and I have a problem, and want to know if anyone can help, or have gone through what I'm going through? I have been married for 40 years and this past March I found out my husband was cheating on me. He says there wasn't any thing sexual, but I have so many doubts..he would stay out and tell me he was working, or that he was going out with everyone from his work, to eat or just talk, but I caught him with a lady in her car, and he can't explain all the hours he spent with her, or all the cell phone calls between them, they called each other every day,he talked to her more than he talked to me. he said he was sorry but didn't think it was wrong to go out to eat with her or have a drink (he never went out for drinks or to a bar before), and he said all they did was talk, he wants me to put it all behind me, to forgive him, and move on, but it is so hard for me. I don't trust him, and he just doesn't get how much I'm hurt. It broke my heart! I just don't feel that same feeling in this marriage, but I want to try, and forgive him, and get over it, but it is so hard, and I pray all the time fro God to soften his heart, and love me. I feel so unloved, and have no self esteem, the lady he was with is about 17 years younger than him. Even if it was an emotional affair, it has broken my heart. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you...
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Hello Americana,
I am so sorry to hear about ur marriage,I've been in the same situation,but i was the one with the emotion affair on my husband,n he is feeling like u r now.but it's so true,we don't communicate alot,but he can sit at the bar n chat n flirt all nite with his bar friends,it is very heart breaking for me.so i went on line to find guys who thought i was pretty n wanted to chat with me,believe me they were coming out of the woodwork,sorta speak lol,but i've been mentally abused by my husband,so i loved the attention.but the only reason i am telling u this,i asked God n my husband to forgive me,u have to think,what would God have u do in ur relationship,my advice would seek counseling,(my husband is)u said he doesn't open up to u ,like he does his friends or co workers,so ask urself YYYYYY,in order to fix ur marriage u have to find out ,Y ,u can't b the one ur husband is communicating with,or having fun being with u.Y is their a lack of communication in ur marriage,Y does ur husband have to seek it else where.I truly believe my husband parents had NO communication,so he learned it from them.In Our marriage ,there is NO emotional communication on my husband's part.his father would tell his mother to tell him to do something,or ur father said,he never communicated with his father.they divorced when his sister was young,n lived together as roommates.
So please get help,(christian if u can),this is my opinon,ur husband got caught in his emotional affair,if he doesn't stop,it can lead to other things.STOP it now,don't wait,but find out what ,he thinks u r lacking in ur marriage,ok Good Luck n God bless
 
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ladyofthelord45

Guest
#3
#3
Hello Americana,

I am sorry to hear about the news of this affair. After 40 years, (which to me is two lifetimes) the communication problem shouldn't exist. The communication should be so flawless, you need only look into each other's eyes and know what you're thinking about! Now is the time of rekindling of an old flame of love with more passion and desire. Your husband has no excuse of ever looking outside of what you two have.., because it's priceless! It's of course, no surprise that he would ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is mandatory from our Lord, Jesus Christ in Matthew 6:14-15. However, forgiveness can also be a process which takes time and prayer to achieve. The trust is broken and will also take time to earn once again. Yet, because your husband wants your pardon and wants to remain married to you, I recommend you giving him a second chance and see how your relationship can heal and be stronger than ever before.
I have been divorced for three years now and I have two daughters ages 18 and 12, and being 45-years old and single was never in my agenda when I got married! My ex-husband had a sexual affair for 8 years during our 16-year marriage and had a child as a result. The pain is indescribable! Only God and time can bring you through. The pain of loneliness is like a a dagger stabbing at your heart repeatedly because there is no one there to hold you at night or have fellowship with during the day. My ex-husband is currently living with another woman in sin and doesn't want to reconcile with me. Americana when both partners are willing, you can tell the mountain to move and it will! Lord Bless the both of you!

Love,
Sister Helen from NYC
 
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sabella22

Guest
#4
#4
Wow sorry to hear that...
 
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