I need advice...

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Gabe2820

New member
Jan 15, 2020
6
4
3
#1
Hi all, my name is Gabe.. i was engaged to my fiance... recently i found out that she has cheated and got pregnant in doing so... since then she has had an abortion. I want to work through all of this but I'm struggling with so much...
 

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,122
651
113
#2
Hello Gabe. Welcome! Sounds like a very volatile situation. You will get a lot of advice and opinions here. Can I ask what is you and your fiancée’s relationship with the Lord right now?
 

Gabe2820

New member
Jan 15, 2020
6
4
3
#3
Hello Gabe. Welcome! Sounds like a very volatile situation. You will get a lot of advice and opinions here. Can I ask what is you and your fiancée’s relationship with the Lord right now?
We are believer's... I feel as though I might have a little more faith than she does... and lately I've been trying to get us to go to church and get more involved in the bible... I hope that answers your question.
 

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,122
651
113
#4
We are believer's... I feel as though I might have a little more faith than she does... and lately I've been trying to get us to go to church and get more involved in the bible... I hope that answers your question.
I see. God can certainly bring about good from the bad. I’m a living example of that. Certainly you will receive well to do advice here, but I would highly suggest that you speak with someone who is mature and trained properly to deal with issues such as yours in an actual face to face encounter(Church Pastor/Christian Counselor/Family Member)

The pain and mistrust you feel right now must be so overwhelming. I will certainly pray you and your fiancée. Allow the great Healer to do His work. Have faith in Him and you will be delivered. Jesus spoke these words and they are true and enduring forever:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

May the Lord shine in your troubles!
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
2,566
2,192
113
#5
We are believer's... I feel as though I might have a little more faith than she does... and lately I've been trying to get us to go to church and get more involved in the bible... I hope that answers your question.
That is good news indeed. He is the God of the impossible situation. I am going to pray with you right now.
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
2,143
538
113
40
#7
Man brother, life and this world throw it at us huh? I think her moving towards God is a good thing, always, but I am curious what her attitude about the whole thing is, about cheating, about the abortion? I will declare from the jump that the ONLY way this can work ever is with both of you in Jesus, outside of Him it's hopeless. There is a lot to work through here, between each other, between God, and inside most of all, outside of Jesus it will just be too much. If you could sum up how she feels about the whole thing, which if she is moving towards God that is the only good sign. These things are real life hard, but these are the things we NEED Him for, brother I pray that His Spirit draw you both into Him giving you both a whole new life, a whole new spirit, His Spirit, and that He empower you both to forgive each other come closer to each other than ever before to His glory, to testify of the miraculous healing power of our King!!! All in Jesus name I pray. Amen.
 

3angelsmsg

Junior Member
Mar 1, 2018
344
412
63
#8
Hello Gabe, and welcome to Christian Chat. We are very happy that you joined us.

Our Maker and King is a restorer of relationships. And it will be difficult to trust her. Love is the answer.

And you must continue to love her with the love of God and not your own love which you think you are giving to her. The love that gives and doesn't expect anything in return, that kind of love.

Many marriages fail because both partners expect love from the other and once they don't receive the love they think they are suppose to be getting, than they want out.

In the same time, it is wake up call for you to deepen your relationship with Our Lord and Saviour. Don't make hush decisions now, you should be patience in tribulation. Look for God's providence.
 

EternalFire

Active member
Jan 3, 2019
141
112
43
#9
I suggest you thank the LORD for revealing this about her before you made the walk down the aisle. The fact of the matter is that these are not the behaviors of a believer in Christ. Sexual immorality is not even to be named among us (Eph 5:3; 1Co 5:11). Hand her over to Satan for the destruction of her flesh (1Co 5:5). Flee from sexual immorality (1Co 6:18).
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
2,143
538
113
40
#10
I suggest you thank the LORD for revealing this about her before you made the walk down the aisle. The fact of the matter is that these are not the behaviors of a believer in Christ. Sexual immorality is not even to be named among us (Eph 5:3; 1Co 5:11). Hand her over to Satan for the destruction of her flesh (1Co 5:5). Flee from sexual immorality (1Co 6:18).
So this person has been approached by him, the two, then taken in front of the church with no effect and the person still refuses to repent? "these are not the behaviors of a believer in Christ", this is absolutely right, they are the actions of someone that NEEDS Him more than anything in this life period. What she needs is Gods children proclaiming the truth to her in love like we are called to, and how do we know his forgiveness in such an unforgivable situation isn't very well be what God uses to bring her to repentance? Sometimes I really disagree with how fast "LEAVE THEM!!!!", is one of the first thing said way too often in my opinion. I disagree with you here, at least before you ask some questions and have more information, but I just can't leave that big red X under your name, it's just too much most the time. Not that you clearly said this, just seemed to hint at it. :D
 

bojack

Well-known member
Dec 16, 2019
955
471
63
#11
Hi all, my name is Gabe.. i was engaged to my fiance... recently i found out that she has cheated and got pregnant in doing so... since then she has had an abortion. I want to work through all of this but I'm struggling with so much...
Hi Gabe and welcome .. Can a leopard change it's spots ? Leave now and get another one , they all look the same standing on their head .. Never give your whole heart to anyone but the Lord or you run the risk of severe pain .. If you don't dump her then at least get a pre-nup agreement for sure ..
 

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,122
651
113
#12
Hi Gabe and welcome .. Can a leopard change it's spots ? Leave now and get another one , they all look the same standing on their head .. Never give your whole heart to anyone but the Lord or you run the risk of severe pain .. If you don't dump her then at least get a pre-nup agreement for sure ..
That’s kind of an insensitive post to make.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
2,566
2,192
113
#13
Can a leopard change it's spots ?
God can change it's spots.

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
 

bojack

Well-known member
Dec 16, 2019
955
471
63
#14
That’s kind of an insensitive post to make.
Sorry, it wasn't intended to be a feel good answer, just my sober sincere advice .. What was Joseph going to do before an angel explained it to him
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
2,143
538
113
40
#15
Hi Gabe and welcome .. Can a leopard change it's spots ? Leave now and get another one , they all look the same standing on their head .. Never give your whole heart to anyone but the Lord or you run the risk of severe pain .. If you don't dump her then at least get a pre-nup agreement for sure ..
The leopard spot thing is kind of the whole reason Jesus came isn't it? You're right in that "we" can't change them, but He can and in Him we can absolutely have our spots changed. What kind of hope and power are you preaching?
 

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,122
651
113
#16
Sorry, it wasn't intended to be a feel good answer, just my sober sincere advice .. What was Joseph going to do before an angel explained it to him
I believe the part where you said “They all look the same standing on their head” is somewhat degrading to females on this forum. Also, Joseph was going to call off the marriage with Mary in secret so she would not be shamed publicly. Joseph had respect for his bride to be.
 

Gabe2820

New member
Jan 15, 2020
6
4
3
#17
I see. God can certainly bring about good from the bad. I’m a living example of that. Certainly you will receive well to do advice here, but I would highly suggest that you speak with someone who is mature and trained properly to deal with issues such as yours in an actual face to face encounter(Church Pastor/Christian Counselor/Family Member)

The pain and mistrust you feel right now must be so overwhelming. I will certainly pray you and your fiancée. Allow the great Healer to do His work. Have faith in Him and you will be delivered. Jesus spoke these words and they are true and enduring forever:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

May the Lord shine in your troubles!
Thank you for the prayers... and it is definitely overwhelming. I've been seeking answers and continue to get stuck on my own understandings. I try to give the same love that Jesus gives. The in spite of type of love.. and I still have that and i'm working on the forgiveness aspect.. but do i walk away .. do i stay and fight as God fights for us. I'm confused.
 

Gabe2820

New member
Jan 15, 2020
6
4
3
#18
Man brother, life and this world throw it at us huh? I think her moving towards God is a good thing, always, but I am curious what her attitude about the whole thing is, about cheating, about the abortion? I will declare from the jump that the ONLY way this can work ever is with both of you in Jesus, outside of Him it's hopeless. There is a lot to work through here, between each other, between God, and inside most of all, outside of Jesus it will just be too much. If you could sum up how she feels about the whole thing, which if she is moving towards God that is the only good sign. These things are real life hard, but these are the things we NEED Him for, brother I pray that His Spirit draw you both into Him giving you both a whole new life, a whole new spirit, His Spirit, and that He empower you both to forgive each other come closer to each other than ever before to His glory, to testify of the miraculous healing power of our King!!! All in Jesus name I pray. Amen.
I agree, if she chooses to move to God alongside with me it would eventually lead to greener pastures so to speak. I know he is going to be the only way through all this but I'm not so sure she's in the same spot mentally with me and that makes me feel worse because then i feel as though I'm not trusting Gods plan/will with my doubt. I want to fight through this all with her and know that God will get us through but how do i know whether to walk away and let God handle this or fight alongside with her..
 

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,122
651
113
#19
Thank you for the prayers... and it is definitely overwhelming. I've been seeking answers and continue to get stuck on my own understandings. I try to give the same love that Jesus gives. The in spite of type of love.. and I still have that and i'm working on the forgiveness aspect.. but do i walk away .. do i stay and fight as God fights for us. I'm confused.
If you truly love her and she to you, I have no qualms that Jesus our Lord can give the two of you the grace and mercy you seek! Forgiveness and trust are not always easily given. If she is remorseful for what she has done, have compassion and love for her and let God work on her heart. It’s won’t be easy and it may take time, but you will see the supernatural that is God.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
2,566
2,192
113
#20
Thank you for the prayers... and it is definitely overwhelming. I've been seeking answers and continue to get stuck on my own understandings. I try to give the same love that Jesus gives. The in spite of type of love.. and I still have that and i'm working on the forgiveness aspect.. but do i walk away .. do i stay and fight as God fights for us. I'm confused.
There is no love like Jesus' love. There is no understanding and power like that of the Father's. There is already much spewing forth of men's own ideas and opinions in this room. They are of no eternal consequence, power, or profit. God wants you to set all this at His feet. If you do, you will be amazed. He is awesome. Someday we will all behold His power. I want to begin right now. Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus!