New member, scared for no reason! Do you know?

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SimeonPerhaps

Junior Member
Dec 3, 2017
4
0
0
#1
Hi y'all friendos!

I'm sensing more and more that God is going to start using me for much bigger and better things, and I've been dramatically changed over this past year to finally accept the comfort, warmth and love that is in Him. It's so hard to describe, yet sometimes makes so much sense, but I'm still so scared or even terrified at times.

Raised Roman Catholic, so the Bible passages were basically thumped into my head. Attending a Brethren in Christ church for the past 7 years with an open policy, bands, music, activities, loving it. Pastor mentioned Greg Boyd, so I listened to a full year of his podcasts in less than 2 months while at work, and good God, it was good!

I'm a terrible sinner, alcoholic, never really liked "rules" or "laws" yet i respect all those who do. I've already undergone a huge transformation to become sober and try to provide as much value to this world as possible, but I slipped back a bit.

Back then, church was a just a good thing, helped me get over my newly-sober social anxiety. I was a new man training to be the best man I could be, so that I could deserve the woman of my dreams. After all, she's out there somewhere looking for me, so I better be ready when I find her, right?

But I wasn't so interested in the Word of God back then. Now, it's really affecting me. I've found the Apocrypha, which is sooo much more interesting to me than the canonical Bible. (Imagine that, someone who doesn't like rules enjoys reading the "forbidden texts") But it's filling in the gaps in my true understanding, relearning, re-acquaintance with the fact that God gave his only Son to heal us from our own sins. My shames are less, my confidence is generally higher than ever and it's so much easier to forgive others now.

Why am I so scared!

Humbly, SimeonPerhaps
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,355
113
#2
Hello Simeon, welcome to CC! I hope you enjoy your time with us :)

The apocrypha is not considered inspired, except by papists (mostly),
due to its change in status, accorded in 1546 A.D. at the Council of Trent.
 

Waggles

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2017
2,028
383
83
South Australia
adelaiderevival.com
#3
But I wasn't so interested in the Word of God back then. Now, it's really affecting me. I've found the Apocrypha, which is sooo much more interesting to me than the canonical Bible. (Imagine that, someone who doesn't like rules enjoys reading the "forbidden texts") But it's filling in the gaps in my true understanding, relearning, re-acquaintance with the fact that God gave his only Son to heal us from our own sins. My shames are less, my confidence is generally higher than ever and it's so much easier to forgive others now.

Why am I so scared!

Humbly, SimeonPerhaps
Do not believe the apocryphal writings.
They are outside the Canon for a very good reason.
The Apocrypha is not the Word of God, but rather the writings of men.
In fact I would be bold to say that some are Satanic. Their purpose is to confuse
and muddle the truth.

Sixty-six books inspired and sealed by God is all you need to learn about how
to be saved and how to stay saved.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#4
Welcome here you can discuss with bible smart people and possibly make new friends,hope you like it here!
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,857
824
113
#5
Perhaps you're scared because you are filling your head with unbiblical texts and this runs contrary to the work God has been doing in you?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
63,493
2,202
113
#6
Welcome to CC. This subject belongs in the bible forum..

Hi y'all friendos!

I'm sensing more and more that God is going to start using me for much bigger and better things, and I've been dramatically changed over this past year to finally accept the comfort, warmth and love that is in Him. It's so hard to describe, yet sometimes makes so much sense, but I'm still so scared or even terrified at times.

Raised Roman Catholic, so the Bible passages were basically thumped into my head. Attending a Brethren in Christ church for the past 7 years with an open policy, bands, music, activities, loving it. Pastor mentioned Greg Boyd, so I listened to a full year of his podcasts in less than 2 months while at work, and good God, it was good!

I'm a terrible sinner, alcoholic, never really liked "rules" or "laws" yet i respect all those who do. I've already undergone a huge transformation to become sober and try to provide as much value to this world as possible, but I slipped back a bit.

Back then, church was a just a good thing, helped me get over my newly-sober social anxiety. I was a new man training to be the best man I could be, so that I could deserve the woman of my dreams. After all, she's out there somewhere looking for me, so I better be ready when I find her, right?

But I wasn't so interested in the Word of God back then. Now, it's really affecting me. I've found the Apocrypha, which is sooo much more interesting to me than the canonical Bible. (Imagine that, someone who doesn't like rules enjoys reading the "forbidden texts") But it's filling in the gaps in my true understanding, relearning, re-acquaintance with the fact that God gave his only Son to heal us from our own sins. My shames are less, my confidence is generally higher than ever and it's so much easier to forgive others now.

Why am I so scared!

Humbly, SimeonPerhaps
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,601
2,071
113
63
Florida
#7
I liked the part about you wanting to provide as much value to the world as possible. This is what Christian faith is about, confessing your sins contritely, inviting the Holy Spirit to live in your heart to guide you in your spiritual walk, to humbly serve the Lord performing the works that your Heavenly Father has prepared for you beforehand.

Like it says in the bible, even a born again Christian will occasionally stumble. When this happens pray for forgiveness and God will faithfully pick you up, dust you off, and send you back on your way.

You're not a terrible sinner but rather just a servant of God who gets off track once in awhile. A terrible sinner is one who choses to ignore the salvation of Jesus Christ dying on the cross for being sinful and therefore refuses to repent of a sinful lifestyle.

Fear not, says the Lord who will never leave you or forsake you.

Reading apocrypha is fine but it doesn't take the place of the Word of God found in His written word. I recommend daily reading, devotion and prayer as part of your spiritual diet.

Glad to have you as part of our community. Welcome to CC.
 

SimeonPerhaps

Junior Member
Dec 3, 2017
4
0
0
#8
Hello Simeon, welcome to CC! I hope you enjoy your time with us :)


Thank you for the warm welcome!

The apocrypha is not considered inspired, except by papists (mostly),
due to its change in status, accorded in 1546 A.D. at the Council of Trent.
Thank you and I understand. Perhaps I'm looking to seek the writings of humans so I can frame the time period in which this all went about. Bit of a history thing, rather than an inspired thing.
 

SimeonPerhaps

Junior Member
Dec 3, 2017
4
0
0
#9
Thank you for the heavenly posts! Had a tough day at work and usually when that happens I go into "judgement mode"
I look at everyone and start judging them, and manufacture a fictional sinful existence in which they live to allow myself to dislike them, but I caught everyone of those thoughts and just asked God to help me with that. At this point it's no longer a couple seconds, but milliseconds before I regroup, and it's good! After that, people swarmed to me to ask for help with commonplace things. This all with a sprained right-arm wrist that feels like hot daggers whenever I turn it. (first "real" injury of my life thanks to bike riding)

Edit, when ppl ask me for help, it puts a pep in my step and turned my day around. Now, how to throw reigns on those horses and harness them to God's will!?
 
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SimeonPerhaps

Junior Member
Dec 3, 2017
4
0
0
#10
Do not believe the apocryphal writings.
They are outside the Canon for a very good reason.
The Apocrypha is not the Word of God, but rather the writings of men.
In fact I would be bold to say that some are Satanic. Their purpose is to confuse
and muddle the truth.

Sixty-six books inspired and sealed by God is all you need to learn about how
to be saved and how to stay saved.
Thanks, i was only reading the online versions at the time, but had 2 published versions in my Amazon cart when I posted this. Luckily I didn't order them, so now they're removed. yay!
 

toinena

Senior Member
Mar 10, 2017
2,321
639
113
#12
God bess and welcome to CC

I think it is great you are sharing this with us in your post, and you might enjoy the Bibe forum. You seem to be on the right path, so keep up walking and see you around.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,601
2,071
113
63
Florida
#13
Thank you for the heavenly posts! Had a tough day at work and usually when that happens I go into "judgement mode"

I look at everyone and start judging them, and manufacture a fictional sinful existence in which they live to allow myself to dislike them, but I caught everyone of those thoughts and just asked God to help me with that.
I found this passage of your post to be profound. For one reason or another certain people might rub you the wrong way so you rationalize an excuse to hate them, manufacturing a fictional environment of who these people are. This allows you to distance yourselves from them because you are morally superior to them by comparison.

I have done the same thing many times. Lately, I have come to the realization that I am no better than they are and instead of hating them I pray for them and then ask for God's mercy and compassion for myself. I still have a ways to go yet but with the grace of God I will eventually reach the place when I can actually love my enemies.

At that point we might even become friends. That has happen a few times for me also. It's still a struggle though.
 

danja

Senior Member
Nov 28, 2014
1,043
221
63
#14
Welcome :)
 

Aiutalemani

Junior Member
Dec 5, 2017
5
1
0
#15
Hey! I am glad that you are working to get ready for much bigger and better things in Him! It is normal to be a bit scared about changes in life and the future and rest assured that the Lord knows the plans he has for you (Jer. 29:11). As you walk closer to Him, he will give you a peace is much greater than what we can understand (Phil. 4:7). It is good to be curious about the history of our Faith and reading the apocrypha is probably interesting for you! I think that it would be very valuable for you to talk to your pastor or spiritual leader about what you are reading and get some recommendations on Bible plans and other books to improve your knowledge about the faith and your relationship with God. Keep moving forward even when you feel that you are a “terrible sinner”. Your decisions will bring you closer to the Lord and not your feelings. You made the right decision when you came to the Lord and his Holy Spirit will give you wisdom to continue making brave choices!