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Sep 8, 2021
16
18
3
43
Indianapolis
#1
Hello my name is Holly. I'm 43 years old from Indiana USA. Writing this is extremely hard for me because I'm really not used to giving descriptions of myself. I'll try nonetheless.
As a child I was extremely shy. Growing up it developed into social anxiety disorder. I've also battled depression. My family has a history of mental illness. That being said, it was hard in life to be the best Holly I could be. That's all I'll say about that.
My family is affiliated with United Methodist Church here in Indiana and Michigan. We have two pastors within my aunt's family. I was taken to church as a child by my mother. I was baptized in a First Free Methodist Church very young.
As a teenager, I started to fall away from God because I felt my life wasn't what I wanted it to be and I blamed God for not answering my prayers to make it better. Over the years I fell further and further away until I didn't even believe in any God at all. During that time my mother and I thought our religious family members shunned us because my mother was divorced, of our depression, and the fact that I was biracial. Those thoughts made me think if my family was like this then most Christians would be like this.
Recently my mother passed away and I started to reconcile my relationship with my aunt who was the wife of Pastor James Butler. I never really had the best relationship with my aunt until now. Conversations with her made me see that I wasn't really turned away from my faith that I was just confused because of how awful my life was. I didn't realize before that God had protected me from so many things. No matter how bad I thought my life was up until this moment, God didn't let me fall too far. God has kept me and I'm grateful everyday. I also realized that the impression I had about my family was misgiven.
Now, I'm slowly coming out of my shell. I've become more self sufficient. I've renewed my faith in christ and made God my guide and comforter. With God I'm never alone no matter how lonely I may feel.
I hope that sums up me briefly. I'm so very scared no one will read this or they will read it and turn away. I would like to fellowship on this site with other Christians.

Thank you for reading......
 

Attachments

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
4,856
3,393
113
#3
- Copy - Copy - Copy (11) - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg :)

"Thank you for being you, ( pic. ) and for sharing how God
has influenced your life."
'Praise God'
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
1,689
1,156
113
#4
Hello my name is Holly. I'm 43 years old from Indiana USA. Writing this is extremely hard for me because I'm really not used to giving descriptions of myself. I'll try nonetheless.
As a child I was extremely shy. Growing up it developed into social anxiety disorder. I've also battled depression. My family has a history of mental illness. That being said, it was hard in life to be the best Holly I could be. That's all I'll say about that.
My family is affiliated with United Methodist Church here in Indiana and Michigan. We have two pastors within my aunt's family. I was taken to church as a child by my mother. I was baptized in a First Free Methodist Church very young.
As a teenager, I started to fall away from God because I felt my life wasn't what I wanted it to be and I blamed God for not answering my prayers to make it better. Over the years I fell further and further away until I didn't even believe in any God at all. During that time my mother and I thought our religious family members shunned us because my mother was divorced, of our depression, and the fact that I was biracial. Those thoughts made me think if my family was like this then most Christians would be like this.
Recently my mother passed away and I started to reconcile my relationship with my aunt who was the wife of Pastor James Butler. I never really had the best relationship with my aunt until now. Conversations with her made me see that I wasn't really turned away from my faith that I was just confused because of how awful my life was. I didn't realize before that God had protected me from so many things. No matter how bad I thought my life was up until this moment, God didn't let me fall too far. God has kept me and I'm grateful everyday. I also realized that the impression I had about my family was misgiven.
Now, I'm slowly coming out of my shell. I've become more self sufficient. I've renewed my faith in christ and made God my guide and comforter. With God I'm never alone no matter how lonely I may feel.
I hope that sums up me briefly. I'm so very scared no one will read this or they will read it and turn away. I would like to fellowship on this site with other Christians.

Thank you for reading......
Welcome Holly. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. You would be amazed at how many people go through similar experiences. Anyone who turns away from you has problems that they need to get sorted. We are all sinners saved by grace. No one is righteous in themselves, only in Jesus. And He welcomes sinners with open arms, then starts to set them free.

Don't worry about people who don't "get" you. Let the people who care be an encouragement. If God accepts you, who has any right to reject you?
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
870
491
63
#5
It takes a lot of courage to be open, well done. I think some of your isolation regarding race and depression I can understand. Teen years of people's lives are some of the toughest.
There seem to be some good people in this chat room. Good luck.
 

Seeker47

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2018
501
480
63
#6
Welcome to CC and welcome back from your journey, we are especially happy that you are here and sharing your story with so much honesty and openness. Is not our Lord amazing!
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
8,500
5,834
113
#7
Hello Holly, and welcome to CC.
I enjoyed reading your post.
It sometimes takes a lot of courage to be so open.

I'm sorry to hear of your mother's recent passing.


I hope you enjoy your time spent on CC, and find fellowship that brings you joy and is a blessing.

Looking forward to seeing you in the forums.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
7,652
4,306
113
#8
Welcome Holly! Bless you in Jesus name, looking forward to seeing you here.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,673
13,828
113
66
Tennessee
#10
Thank you for sharing about yourself in your introductory post. I believe that there will indeed be a few that will read what you have written. There are others here that have experienced anxiety and depression here including myself so please know that you are not alone in this. Seems to be that you are very much on the right spiritual track. Fellowship with other Christians is what happens here. Glad to have you join our family Holly. Welcome to CC.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
8,170
7,620
113
#11
Nice to meet you Holly and so glad the Lord led you to CC:) I agree with the others, it's nice to hear such a touching testimony. Guess what, probably all of us are biracial, lol. I'm sure when people do their DNA history, there are many surprises, like mine lol. God bless and keep you in Hs care!
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,731
1,147
113
#13
Great inroduction @Eshet_chayil ...Most people don't share so much so fast but I'm glad you did.

Especially the part about God "not letting you fall too far"...I've experienced that in my life too but it's hard to see sometimes. The lonliness I also feel but being "together alone" is something I've experienced and it's definitely better than wallowing in loneliness.

Welcome to CC. Hopefully you find some edification and encouragement. God bless :)
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
7,652
4,306
113
#14
Where are you Holly? I haven't seen you post since Tuesday?
blessings
 

de-emerald

Well-known member
May 8, 2021
1,355
531
113
#15
Where are you Holly? I haven't seen you post since Tuesday?
blessings
she still might have a bit of shyness, or maybe its somethin else, i was really shy as a boy to,, i could never do the opening up thing about my self and if i did you would not seeme for a while or i would avoid looking at you for a while. and sometimes i would get hugely embarressed.

others time i would smile. and it would dissapear. but i never knew that could be social anxiety. but the more i think about that perhaps it is. maybe she will come and give us a big smile soon.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
6,670
3,054
113
#16
Hello Holly and welcome aboard CC :)

I read all your opening post and am Glad you are heading once again in Gods direction.. Yeah life can be very hard i know that from personal experience.. And when you said that You where never alone even when you felt lonely i can 100% identify with that because i experience that same thing in my life.. I am often alone but the LORD is with me always so i am never alone.. (y)

I hope you do get some worth out of this forum.. One bit of advice i will give.. The more one contributes the more one is known and the more fellowship one will have here.. So take every opportunity to reply with your thoughts and get into the mix.. :giggle:
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
7,652
4,306
113
#17
Thank you Adstar, for your encouragement.
He indwells the believer, when we let Him out, let Him be seen through us, He then will manifest his love, joy, peace, etc.
blessings