third time is not a charm, its solitary confinement!

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

woman63

Junior Member
Nov 6, 2017
16
0
0
#21
Thank you again for staying positive in your responses. I will continue to study Gods words, and practice listening for the holy spirit. I will also practice greatfulness. May God bless you and give you his wisdom for your life!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,333
113
#22
This might seem like the dumbest comment on line but here goes...we do not talk in a way that expresses our individual thoughts or perspectives on anything. He may intitiate conversation about the weather, paying bills, what he wants for dinner, lets go to the gym. There is literally no other conversation about anything else. He is not emotionally, sexually, spiritually, intellectually, available to me. There is literally no intimacy on any of those levels.
Hello, and welcome to CC! I have read your posts and wonder if you ever try to initiate conversations on topics that interest you. Since your husband is on medication, you could ask him what he thinks about something and then give him time to gather his thoughts on the subject. Does he know how lonely you feel, for instance? Does he know you long for a deeper connection with him? I only ask because you did not say anything about that. You said that he is not a Christian. Do you ever talk to him about God, ask him what he thinks, tell him what you think about God, compare your world views?

 

woman63

Junior Member
Nov 6, 2017
16
0
0
#23
Hello Magenta! What a beautiful color! I have discussed my loneliness with him. He says I can talk about anything I want. Lately, with all the sexual harassment on the news, I asked him what he thought about all these woman's claims; he said he wouldn't know if they were telling the truth. I said where I grew up, sexual harassment was almost an everyday occurrence if you walked on the streets anywhere or took the bus. He said, "yep"...that was the end of the conversation. He was baptized as a child to be Lutheran, but as he grew up got away from any kind of practice. He said the last time he was in a church was when his mom died 7 years ago. He doesn't ask me anything personal. He never comments on anything except the weather, and specifics regarding the household. This is just my own fault. I have lived a long time disliking myself. Out of many years of doing that, I met him. Despite all the red flags that went up, I was scared to leave. Now I am lying in the bed I made. I am ashamed of my stupidity. I just want to exist with out begging him to show me love, or to want to be interested in me. I wish I knew how many breaths I still had to take before I died. I would be counting them every waking moment!
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
4,885
407
83
#24
After I read your response, I felt stupid. I didn't make a good choice. I got married at 22. I had never had a boyfriend previous to that. I disliked myself ever since I was a child. I married to feel I mattered to someone. after I read your response, I thought maybe this is Gods punishment for my stupidity. I don't ask God to change my husband. I will not divorce again. I just want Gods help to not bother my husband, to take care of my emotional needs, to cry in private so he wont know I am struggling. I have made so many mistakes. I know that. I didn't expect gifts or money ( I have a masters degree and am a college instructor so I am able to financially support myself) I just wanted intimacy. sharing joys and sorrows; being each others greatest ally. I guess I am just so dumb about so much.
Your pain is evident to us sister. I wish we could wave a wand and make all your heartache melt away. We don't even know you, yet you are a hurting dear sister of ours in the Lord, and for that reason alone we love you. Do not feel guilty for having a compassionate heart. Forget about past mistakes and focus on Jesus.

We can help with your burdens through prayer to our Father, and love towards you.

Father, Abba, we ask that You would make Your Presence felt in such an unmistakable way, that Your daughter will forget her Pain. Use her, and everything else, to bring her husband to Your Son. Open his eyes to the incredible wife that he has, and give him a passion for her second only to You. In Jesus Name I pray.
 

woman63

Junior Member
Nov 6, 2017
16
0
0
#25
Wow! How beautiful. Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!!! Thank you!!!! you and your wife are so blessed to have eachother.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,450
350
83
25
#26
Welcome here you can discuss with bible smart people and possibly make new friends,hope you like it here!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,333
113
#27
Hello Magenta! What a beautiful color! I have discussed my loneliness with him. He says I can talk about anything I want. Lately, with all the sexual harassment on the news, I asked him what he thought about all these woman's claims; he said he wouldn't know if they were telling the truth. I said where I grew up, sexual harassment was almost an everyday occurrence if you walked on the streets anywhere or took the bus. He said, "yep"...that was the end of the conversation. He was baptized as a child to be Lutheran, but as he grew up got away from any kind of practice. He said the last time he was in a church was when his mom died 7 years ago. He doesn't ask me anything personal. He never comments on anything except the weather, and specifics regarding the household. This is just my own fault. I have lived a long time disliking myself. Out of many years of doing that, I met him. Despite all the red flags that went up, I was scared to leave. Now I am lying in the bed I made. I am ashamed of my stupidity. I just want to exist with out begging him to show me love, or to want to be interested in me. I wish I knew how many breaths I still had to take before I died. I would be counting them every waking moment!
Thank you yes, I like it too :D That is really sad, and it sounds like your husband could be shut down partially from the meds he is on. I know some people do not want to take medication for that reason. Nor will they, because it "deadens" them so much. They would rather risk being really sick, going through manic episodes and depression, as long as they are not having a psychotic breaks... how often does your hubby have his med needs assessed?

PS~ Ed and tourist are two of our treasures :) Please don't mind Tommy, he is a great guy too, but speaks his mind regarding relationships because he knows how hard relationships can be when you are not evenly yoked. There is so much suffering and sorrow in this world, and many of us have seen and experienced quite a lot of it.
 

woman63

Junior Member
Nov 6, 2017
16
0
0
#28
your response was cold. i already know i am guilty of alot of wrongs, in who i picked for marriage partners, for starts. this is literally my first time on this site. you sound like i hurt you in some way
 

woman63

Junior Member
Nov 6, 2017
16
0
0
#29
Im sorry, did I offend you in some way?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,333
113
#30
It is helpful to use the "Reply With Quote" button under the post to which you are responding :) Otherwise we do not know who you are addressing.
 

KimmyO

Junior Member
Sep 15, 2017
22
2
0
#31
I'm so sorry for your difficult situation! I completely understand, altho I am not 3rd time married, I am 37 yrs unequally yoked and I know it is tough! Conversations just aren't the same w a nonbeliever and as wives we want the open heart felt talk that keeps us close to God and each other. However, you and I can not look to our husbands as our spiritual leaders or for that part of convo, esp you w your husband in depression and psychological issues. You are where you are, married unequally, but don't look back and wish and try to change where God has you. Be used by the Lord where you are, grow where you are planted. You can get involved in spiritual conversations w other Christians online or even better with a church near you, thru ladies bible studies and groups. If they don't have one, start one! Getting involved in helping others takes our minds off our own problems and we feel fulfilled as we are serving in ways God leads. Get your satisfaction thru God, you Heavenly Perfect Father and even Husband, He meets our needs much better than any man could. Respect your husband and love him wo pointing out his failures constantly, instead voice your thanks when you see any small effort and you will see growth. Like the old saying, You get more flies with honey. =) God bless you and give you peace, strength and wisdom!
Here is a good article that explains it more. Living With A "Spiritually Mixed" Marriage | Focus on the Family
 

KimmyO

Junior Member
Sep 15, 2017
22
2
0
#32
Feel free to pm me if you want to talk more, I'm happy to share anything I have learned and give you support! =)
 

KimmyO

Junior Member
Sep 15, 2017
22
2
0
#33
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRXmDaZpeqo&sns=fb