Widowed

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Julrik

New member
May 24, 2020
12
5
3
#1
Hi
Im new to the forum and was looking for a christian chat to get some encouragement. Even after almost a yr Ive lost my beloved husband to cancer, Im still heartbroken missing him everyday. My friends even some christian ones think I seem strong enough now but actually I dont want to impose too much on their time so I try to look more cheerful though Im still feeling miserable inside. My hubby n I been together for 35yrs and still so loved n closed to each other that I feel so lost even now.... I tried to occupy my time w reading the bible but often it doesnt bring much comfort. Sometimes I feel its easier to just pour your pain to strangers than to friends/family.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
6,454
5,044
113
#2
Sorry to hear that Julrik. I pray that the Lord through his spirit will give you the strength and ability to walk above the grief, stress and sadness you would be feeling. I pray that he replaces it with his supernatural peace which is able to guard both your heart and your mind. May he also reveal himself to you in a greater way than before in Jesus name Amen
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,636
9,311
113
#3
We have a ladies forum, if you feel more comfortable posting there. :)

Welcome.gif
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
5,826
4,848
113
#4
Hi
Im new to the forum and was looking for a christian chat to get some encouragement. Even after almost a yr Ive lost my beloved husband to cancer, Im still heartbroken missing him everyday. My friends even some christian ones think I seem strong enough now but actually I dont want to impose too much on their time so I try to look more cheerful though Im still feeling miserable inside. My hubby n I been together for 35yrs and still so loved n closed to each other that I feel so lost even now.... I tried to occupy my time w reading the bible but often it doesnt bring much comfort. Sometimes I feel its easier to just pour your pain to strangers than to friends/family.
We love you, sister Julrik. Won't be strangers very long. We will draw near to the Lord together.:) God bless you and welcome to CC.

James 4
4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse [your] hands, [ye] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [ye] double minded.
4:9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and [your] joy to heaviness.
4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Luke 24
24:13 And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem [about] threescore furlongs.
24:14 And they talked together of all these things which had happened.
24:15 And it came to pass, that, while they communed [together] and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
2,847
2,097
113
#5
Hi
Im new to the forum and was looking for a christian chat to get some encouragement. Even after almost a yr Ive lost my beloved husband to cancer, Im still heartbroken missing him everyday. My friends even some christian ones think I seem strong enough now but actually I dont want to impose too much on their time so I try to look more cheerful though Im still feeling miserable inside. My hubby n I been together for 35yrs and still so loved n closed to each other that I feel so lost even now.... I tried to occupy my time w reading the bible but often it doesnt bring much comfort. Sometimes I feel its easier to just pour your pain to strangers than to friends/family.
Greetings Julrik & welcome to cc... I have great empathy for your situation as I was raised by a widowed woman who grew into being the strongest woman and influence in my life. I pray that you find what your heart seeks here and I suspect that you will enjoy your time and experience here.
Lots of amazingly honest, and gracious, sometimes outspoken and opinionated - but always loving, caring and giving of advice for those who are seeking prayer, friendship, support or just a break from their daily routine...

I recently completed participating in a 'Rebuilding' program that was designed for both widowed and divorced people - where the two groups came together at the beginning of each session and were facilitated separately.
Evidently, the book of the same name is quite popular for such seminars all over and is often conducted via Christian Churches... You might look into something similar in your areas...
Interestingly, several facilitators who have been doing this course for years, were reluctant participants themselves - not knowing then how much personal 'rebuilding' and/or spiritual growth that they really needed...
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship – November 1, 2016
by Bruce Fisher EdD (Author), Robert Alberti PhD (Author), Virginia M. Satir (Foreword)

Praying for you,
God Bless
 

Julrik

New member
May 24, 2020
12
5
3
#7
I am very encouraged by all your advice to my post.. Thank you very much:love:
There are some gd days that I tot ok Im doing well but then out of nowhere it hit like a wave and for hours I would just cry with lots of regrets mayb I should hv taken better care of him or this and that or just plain missing our times together. It made worst especially now during the lockdown when im stuck in the house alone as my daughters are also living overseas.
I read (still looking for more) on heaven a lot to find comfort as miraculously on that fateful day in my deep sorrow n tears somehow I could smell such tangible floral fragrance but then my daughters and soninlaw didnt smell anything so friends told me Heavenly presence or even Jesus presence was in the rm at that hour. I tot it could be my hubby last hug for me before the angels brought him to heaven to be w Jesus. Knowing that he could find his rest in heaven with no more pain after a difficult childhood n also a stressful worklife (he was a hardworking family man) make the grieving a little more bearable then. Now I hv no fear of death as I could rest in our Lord Jesus and also to see my hubby again - to live is Christ to die is gain. So even with this Covid-19 Im not fearful but this made my friends and family think Im suicidal:rolleyes: but Im not cos I know my life is completely in His hand. It frustrate me cos often I couldnt share much or discuss deeper on hvg heaven's perspective with them as I sense theyre uncomfortable on this subject considered by most as taboo. I know I would still continue my life here whilst asking God to reveal His purpose for me now but I am also praying that God would take me home soon... Is this wrong to pray if it means death to me in order to be in heaven?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,419
12,112
113
66
Tennessee
#8
Hi
Im new to the forum and was looking for a christian chat to get some encouragement. Even after almost a yr Ive lost my beloved husband to cancer, Im still heartbroken missing him everyday. My friends even some christian ones think I seem strong enough now but actually I dont want to impose too much on their time so I try to look more cheerful though Im still feeling miserable inside. My hubby n I been together for 35yrs and still so loved n closed to each other that I feel so lost even now.... I tried to occupy my time w reading the bible but often it doesnt bring much comfort. Sometimes I feel its easier to just pour your pain to strangers than to friends/family.
I joined this site a month after my late second wife died at an early age (59) the same as mine. The name of my introductory thread was Quite Lonely. By all means, pour out all your pain here as encouragement, prayer, and comfort is what happens here. I pray that this site becomes as much a blessing for you as it has for me through the years. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,419
12,112
113
66
Tennessee
#10
Sorry to hear that Julrik. I pray that the Lord through his spirit will give you the strength and ability to walk above the grief, stress and sadness you would be feeling. I pray that he replaces it with his supernatural peace which is able to guard both your heart and your mind. May he also reveal himself to you in a greater way than before in Jesus name Amen
That was a beautiful prayer from your heart for this hurting new member.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
7,288
6,895
113
#11
Greetings Julrik and I'm so glad the Lord led you to CC right now. Both my husbands are in Heaven and I'm glad to think of them in such an amazing place. Mourning is good for a while but we can't let it take over our lives. We can still be doing the Lord's duties in whatever capacity we can. I am posting a link to a beautiful 'vision of Heaven' from a lady decades ago. A speaker at my previous Church brought the book to Church and highly recommended it. It's called 'Within Heaven's Gates' and now there is a free 3 hour audio book of the author's beautiful vision. There are some things she can't disclose that she envisioned but what she did write is so glorious. I pray The Comforter touches you with His wisdom, peace, joy and Truth, God bless you!!!
 

Julrik

New member
May 24, 2020
12
5
3
#12
Greetings Julrik & welcome to cc... I have great empathy for your situation as I was raised by a widowed woman who grew into being the strongest woman and influence in my life. I pray that you find what your heart seeks here and I suspect that you will enjoy your time and experience here.
Lots of amazingly honest, and gracious, sometimes outspoken and opinionated - but always loving, caring and giving of advice for those who are seeking prayer, friendship, support or just a break from their daily routine...

I recently completed participating in a 'Rebuilding' program that was designed for both widowed and divorced people - where the two groups came together at the beginning of each session and were facilitated separately.
Evidently, the book of the same name is quite popular for such seminars all over and is often conducted via Christian Churches... You might look into something similar in your areas...
Interestingly, several facilitators who have been doing this course for years, were reluctant participants themselves - not knowing then how much personal 'rebuilding' and/or spiritual growth that they really needed...
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship – November 1, 2016
by Bruce Fisher EdD (Author), Robert Alberti PhD (Author), Virginia M. Satir (Foreword)

Praying for you,
God Bless
Hi Solmateleft.... Yes I did attend my local widow support grp for a short while but I don feel it helped me anymore than reading self help online articles cudnt do. Im not belittling their efforts or progs but I find honest sharing with fellow sojourners more impactful than just head /theory knowledge. Im now building a closer friendship with another widow in my support group who also lost her husband recently as our struggles r or still feeling very raw so we can share alot in common. However as she is surrounded by supportive family she seem to be coping better than me. My daughters r overseas and so cant provide the same support.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
2,847
2,097
113
#13
Hi Solmateleft.... Yes I did attend my local widow support grp for a short while but I don feel it helped me anymore than reading self help online articles cudnt do. Im not belittling their efforts or progs but I find honest sharing with fellow sojourners more impactful than just head /theory knowledge. Im now building a closer friendship with another widow in my support group who also lost her husband recently as our struggles r or still feeling very raw so we can share alot in common. However as she is surrounded by supportive family she seem to be coping better than me. My daughters r overseas and so cant provide the same support.
Hi Julrik,
I agree +100%. Praying that our Lord blesses you with the best combination of time via the most effective coping, rebuilding and spiritual growth that is necessary to provide you the strength to persevere this compassioned and yet transitional chapter along your eternal life's journey...
God Bless
 

von1

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2010
1,523
1,381
113
57
#14
Hi
Im new to the forum and was looking for a christian chat to get some encouragement. Even after almost a yr Ive lost my beloved husband to cancer, Im still heartbroken missing him everyday. My friends even some christian ones think I seem strong enough now but actually I dont want to impose too much on their time so I try to look more cheerful though Im still feeling miserable inside. My hubby n I been together for 35yrs and still so loved n closed to each other that I feel so lost even now.... I tried to occupy my time w reading the bible but often it doesnt bring much comfort. Sometimes I feel its easier to just pour your pain to strangers than to friends/family.
Hello and Welcome to Christian Chat God Bless
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
6,454
5,044
113
#15
Julrik I see that you are living in Singapore. Have you ever been to the New Creation Church there?
 

Julrik

New member
May 24, 2020
12
5
3
#16
Thank you TabinRivCA for the audio. Yes it gives one hope when listening to heavenly experiences of others privileged to b chosen by God to see His promised paradise. Another story that touched me was "Heaven is Real". After watching I wonder perhaps my husband met our son that I had miscarried 18yrs ago (we named him Joshua) and that then he was willing to go. You see one of the deep struggle I have was my wounded faith that though our family n friends prayed earnestly for his healing but God still didnt heal him. It was still painful for me to hear healings of even stage 4 cancers when our prayers were not answered. Perhaps now at last he has a son to care in heaven.. He used to playfully whined hes surrounded by too many females.. :D I read that even in heaven we will continue to learn and work but with no stress or pain.. What a glorious place.
Having said that Ive also watched lots of other claims of heaven visitations with some sounding quite bizarre so not sure which are genuine but if we compare w scriptures Paul was quiet about the "unspeakable" things he saw in 3rd heaven. But again God in all His mercies and grace surely allows further glimpses of heaven to be revealed to give us hope of the destination of our race in life.
This is the hope I also have that when I go to heaven that we can resume our worship together as a family again and praise the Almighty God.
Often when Im down with my daughters' attitude I would just focus on God and this hope of our final rest.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
6,454
5,044
113
#18
Yes... Pastor Joseph Prince
I really enjoy his teaching and watch him on you tube. I hope to visit that church one day. Not that I idolise him or anything but his teaching got me through a few difficult times.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
7,288
6,895
113
#19
Thank you TabinRivCA for the audio. Yes it gives one hope when listening to heavenly experiences of others privileged to b chosen by God to see His promised paradise. Another story that touched me was "Heaven is Real". After watching I wonder perhaps my husband met our son that I had miscarried 18yrs ago (we named him Joshua) and that then he was willing to go. You see one of the deep struggle I have was my wounded faith that though our family n friends prayed earnestly for his healing but God still didnt heal him. It was still painful for me to hear healings of even stage 4 cancers when our prayers were not answered. Perhaps now at last he has a son to care in heaven.. He used to playfully whined hes surrounded by too many females.. :D I read that even in heaven we will continue to learn and work but with no stress or pain.. What a glorious place.
Having said that Ive also watched lots of other claims of heaven visitations with some sounding quite bizarre so not sure which are genuine but if we compare w scriptures Paul was quiet about the "unspeakable" things he saw in 3rd heaven. But again God in all His mercies and grace surely allows further glimpses of heaven to be revealed to give us hope of the destination of our race in life.
This is the hope I also have that when I go to heaven that we can resume our worship together as a family again and praise the Almighty God.
Often when Im down with my daughters' attitude I would just focus on God and this hope of our final rest.
At the end of the author's story, she said many people asked her if she thought the vision was real or not. She would reply that she felt more alive there than here. Listening to it at bedtime is very comforting and if you listen to it a ways in, she reunites with many of her departed loved ones.
 

Julrik

New member
May 24, 2020
12
5
3
#20
I really enjoy his teaching and watch him on you tube. I hope to visit that church one day. Not that I idolise him or anything but his teaching got me through a few difficult times.
But the church is quite a distant fr wherd I leave and not that easy to get a seat. I suppose hes gifted to certain teachings so I would also just refer to his youtube channel if I need to expdrience God's grace.