Lonely and sad.....Need good christian friends.

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T

Trezhy

Guest
#1
Hi, sorry for the "drama title". I am a 32 year old single lady. I don't have friends. I will love to meet good christian friends. I have tried to make friends in church and other christian gatherings, but each time it seems they already have their own little group of friends. I just can't seem to break in. There's no really one on one meetings, always group meetings and at the end of the meetings everyone goes about their personal group of friends etc. I get left all alone again.It is a big church and it's hard for me to get connected. All communication is mostly through e-mail, it is so unpersonal. I am very lonely, no friends, nobody to talk to and it leaves me very very depressed all the time. Please I need friends, good christian friends. If possible I can meet one on one. I am always sad and unhappy. I always feel weird and odd because I don't have any friend at all. I need to talk to people, I feel that If I remain like this I'm gonna get more deppressed and sometimes I start having feelings of self-destruction. I'm a committed Christian.

God bless you
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#2
Welcome to CC, I hope you will find friendship and encouragement here. Just remember....His grace is sufficient for you! So live victoriously, walking out in the promises He has given to you...to comfort you & give you peace. God Bless you, <><
 
C

ChristReconcilesAll

Guest
#3
Hi, sorry for the "drama title". I am a 32 year old single lady. I don't have friends. I will love to meet good christian friends. I have tried to make friends in church and other christian gatherings, but each time it seems they already have their own little group of friends. I just can't seem to break in. There's no really one on one meetings, always group meetings and at the end of the meetings everyone goes about their personal group of friends etc. I get left all alone again.It is a big church and it's hard for me to get connected. All communication is mostly through e-mail, it is so unpersonal. I am very lonely, no friends, nobody to talk to and it leaves me very very depressed all the time. Please I need friends, good christian friends. If possible I can meet one on one. I am always sad and unhappy. I always feel weird and odd because I don't have any friend at all. I need to talk to people, I feel that If I remain like this I'm gonna get more deppressed and sometimes I start having feelings of self-destruction. I'm a committed Christian.

God bless you
God loves you, sister. You are never really alone. You don't have to depend on other people to experience love because God is love and God is spirit that is in you. Don't look for other people to get love. God is the source of love. Look to share God's love with other people, and you will be blessed. Study the word of God, and the spirit of God will give you peace.

"We know and believe the love which God has in us. God is love, and he who is remaining in love is remaining in God, and God is remaining in him." (1 John 4:16)

"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22,23)
 

GodssSon

Senior Member
Apr 29, 2012
1,401
10
0
#4
Hey Treyzhy, welcome! I'm praying for you that you might find good godly friends soon. Keep your life focused on God and things will work out :) I know how lonely it can be when you don't have any friends around, but maybe use this time to just get real close to God and build a strong(er) relationship with Him :D
 
T

Trezhy

Guest
#5
Thank you guys so much for your kind response. I really appreciate it. God bless you. @christReconcilesus.....its not as if i depend on people for love. I love God eternally,nothing compares to the love i have for God. And i know he loves me more than i can ever ever imagine. I talk to God about this friendlessness, loneliness and depression all the time, yes i find comfort in His presence all the time. So it satisfies the spiritual aspect of me. I just mean friends like a normal human being. A friend or friends i can talk to, hang out with, laugh, share stuffs,etc. its just one of the basic aspects of life.
 
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ChristReconcilesAll

Guest
#6
Thank you guys so much for your kind response. I really appreciate it. God bless you. @christReconcilesus.....its not as if i depend on people for love. I love God eternally,nothing compares to the love i have for God. And i know he loves me more than i can ever ever imagine. I talk to God about this friendlessness, loneliness and depression all the time, yes i find comfort in His presence all the time. So it satisfies the spiritual aspect of me. I just mean friends like a normal human being. A friend or friends i can talk to, hang out with, laugh, share stuffs,etc. its just one of the basic aspects of life.
I understand. Just don't be thinking about "self-destruction" because you are loved. God bless you, sister.
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#7
Thank you guys so much for your kind response. I really appreciate it. God bless you. @christReconcilesus.....its not as if i depend on people for love. I love God eternally,nothing compares to the love i have for God. And i know he loves me more than i can ever ever imagine. I talk to God about this friendlessness, loneliness and depression all the time, yes i find comfort in His presence all the time. So it satisfies the spiritual aspect of me. I just mean friends like a normal human being. A friend or friends i can talk to, hang out with, laugh, share stuffs,etc. its just one of the basic aspects of life.
God Bless you too :) I do know its hard to feel you are missing out, to feel you have no friends must be very lonely....but all I can say is, is what the Lord tells us, we are to be content, God is enough. We say it....but we do not live it. Maybe if you wait on the Lord, accepting this situation and embracing your life as it is, then it will open up more blessing, oppertunities and meeting people. You can meet people in other places, not just church! God has not given you a spirit of loneliness, depression and of being cast down and defeated! You say you feel His comfort.....does His comfort fail? Is He weak? You are not seperated into internal, external etc. We are daughters of the King of Kings, when we embrace this, believe this, we approach life differently. We are not normal human beings when we have the Holy Spirit living in us! We are supernatural beings by the Blood of Christ!! :) be content, dwell on what you can do for Him....rather than what He can do for you. He has already done enough! and as you do, I believe that then your will will fall in line with His will....and you will recieve the desires of your heart. God Bless you, <><
 
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Trezhy

Guest
#8
I just love you guys XOXOXO..... Thank u
 
E

Edwardo

Guest
#9
Hi Trezhy,
God bless you. Remember Philippians 4:13, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” From a couples perspective, my wife and I have felt that way ourselves. Many couples are in their own clicks. Some of my wife's best friends have moved away and mine are either single or divorced. My best friend and I married sisters and when he and my sister-in-law divorced several years ago, we lost our best friends as a couple. Though we've hung out with other couples and had some fun at times, we've found it's hard to break into friend groups. People are guarded in their friend groups. You are absolutely doing the right thing keeping your focus on your relationship with Christ, because as you know, that is the most important relationship you can have. Keep praying for your relationships and I will also pray for you. Of course you have friends here! Much love and God bless you!

Ed
 
Z

zack2godly

Guest
#10
hey my name is zachary and i read what you put on there and know that god is with you and its hard for me two. two find people that love god. we just have to depend on papa god and wait for them to come in are lifes. In the mean time god is there.
 

acesneverwin

Senior Member
Jun 8, 2011
186
12
18
#11
No offense but I feel many of the responses in this thread to be completely full of it... They're nice little pick me ups but thats it. Soon as you close the bible or the mac book, it ends. People are very social creatures by nature... and they need other people. Sure no one can complete a person in the way God can but we still have needs on earth. We aren't with God yet. Do people need to eat? Yes... Do people need friends and to be loved? Yes. Is God's love sufficient? Yes but how do you see and feel God's love if there is no one around for him to show himself through? God does not have a physical presence and that is VERY important. You can't look God in the eyes... you can't talk to him like a friend and hear a verbal response... You can't go do things with him and laugh. Not saying God isn't enough cause he is... but we are still human and still have human primitive needs. If God was enough, then we wouldn't need to eat. His word is food... but that's not true we still need to eat while we're on this earth. Like wise we still need friends and to be loved while on this earth.

Even the bible stresses the importance of friendships. Even in genesis God gave Adam woman because he saw he was alone. So even from the beginning we need others...

These feel good comments are not gonna fix anything. Trust me, I've heard them long enough and they are a temporary feel good buzz at most.

To the OP, I know how ya feel and I'm sorry. I'm there myself to be honest but I'm not gonna accept being lonely or that I can't change and be more of a people person. I know this isn't the life God planned for me and I know it's not the life he planned for you either. I'd rather be dead than live the rest of my life the way it has been... I mean, there would be the physical relationship you want with God, seeing his presence HEARING his voice (his real voice verbal voice), and feeling his arms physically wrapped around you and literally wiping away the tears... So yea death is is an option but reading the bible, it's not the right one. God didn't plan so you could be miserable and then kill yourself. So I know this is not what God had planned... and someday I won't and will have friends and not so depressed all the time. I'm hanging on to God that he'll pull me through and develop good strong friendships or relationships. Don't think you have to settle for a boring, depressing, lonely life... Sure God is there but the same God that gives you food to eat will give you relationships too. Cause they're as much of a need as food or clothing on this earth till we die... then we won't need food, clothing, or friendships because we will THEN be complete with God and have more love we ever dreamed we could have even with close friends etc.

But till then, it is my firm belief that people are meant and need strong friendships just as much as food, water or clothes. And God will provide. Thinking you have to accept being lonely because you have God is just setting yourself up disappointment and sadness. Don't accept it, fight it and know God is standing behind you and will help you find those relationships. God shines through others and using others is one way we FEEL his love. Seriously... sit in a room by yourself... You can't feel NOTHING. You hear NOTHING... Doesn't mean God isn't there and he may give you peace but... He's never gonna manifest and hug you or verbally have a chat with you. And people NEED that. Deny it and yes you will get more depressed and lonely... Just like you're gonna get more hungry if you stop eating.
 

acesneverwin

Senior Member
Jun 8, 2011
186
12
18
#12
we just have to depend on papa god and wait for them to come in are lifes. In the mean time god is there.
A man can sit by the river an awfully long time before a roast duck on a silver plate will come floating along... This has been my mistake is waiting for God to bring in these people who will some how magically be friends all of a sudden. God will send the goose but it's our job to catch it, cook it and eat it. There are probably at least one person in your life who you wish you were closer with... just in a friendly way... but instead of opening up to them, ya wait till someone comes over and picks you up but that's never gonna happen if they don't know you need to be picked up. Gotta make an effort and be a bit vulnerable... which is hard for some people...
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
hi Trezhy
I have a similar problem, of no friends where i live. I was actually good friends with another woman from SA on here, though she doesn't come on anymore. So if you're looking for some CC friends feel free to contact me.
 
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ignorancecanhurt

Guest
#14
Hang in there. I feel the exact same way and continue to look for new avenues to connect with people and get the human support I need. Send me a message if you ever need to vent or need help. :)
 

AzureAfire

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2013
477
16
18
#15
Dear sister...i feel you. You are not alone.

I've been there, for years. Surrounded by many, but not feeling any connection with anyone...not seeming to be able to break into circles...always left out. Made to feel inadequate, unspecial...my list was so damn long. So my response then was, if they don't want or need me, vice versa. I distanced myself even more. I drifted, saying i don't need any friends...that they don't understand me anyway. God was the only one i clinged to...but i couldn't shake the sadness and loneliness. For a long time, i wrestled with it. I resorted to going into relationships, hoping to fill in the emptiness that was there. All of them failed, no wonder since they weren't meant to stand anyway. I was left even more devastated...thought worse about myself. That i maybe deserve to live alone for the rest of my life...many times i contemplated suicide. It would've been so easy for me...i could count the ways. Being a doctor, i knew how to preserve a life, and how to take it fairly quick and easy...

But God, He never gave up on me. He was my anchor. The lover of my soul. He saw me through it all...who am i to say what can and cannot be done to make my life beautiful?

We can be so stubborn sometimes. But thankfully, our God is perfect in every way. There's no way He can fail us in His love for us.

Sister, the first thing you should do is pray. Pray, and earnestly seek Him. Throw away all your cares for a second. Don't let you matter for that moment. Be still. Sometimes we think we are really praying to Him and opening up our hearts to Him completely already. But no. What we usually do is come to Him with this mental list of all our concerns...what we need, what we want, what bothers us, and all that...there's nothing wrong about coming to God with the burdens we have. But prayer is something that should be done right. If we observe the template of how we should pray (The Lord's Prayer), you see that it starts with acknowledging and praising God. It is important to do this to revere our awesome God, and proclaim Him as our Lord and King. But not only that. It actually helps us to focus on Him, and that by itself is a huge thing. When you come to see just how awesome God is, it swallows everything up! All your loneliness, sadness, fears, doubts, frustrations...EVERYTHING. You only know you have been able to come into His presence in prayer when you have been changed by it. I was. Just less than a month ago.

I was at my lowest of lows then, before He spiritually revived me. 8 mos. after being abandoned by a lover, I was cold, desperate, depressed, empty...nothing helps. Not food, nor games, nor being out with loved ones, movies, or books, or whatever....nothing. Everyday was just another dying day for me. I cried every night. I was revived one morning, after God showed me that i need to wake up, because there is so much that needs to be done. He called me to serve. He called me to come to Him. All my cares just disappeared. I prayed unlike ever before. For the first time, not for myself, but for the world bound for destruction, and for His kingdom. And i was changed. More than i was when i first received Him. All my sadness disappeared...all my cares. There was no reason to feel lonely or in despair, 'coz i have seen God. His presence is so sweet, i couldn't get enough of it! :) And my soul was on fire, hungry for His Word!

The next thing i did was long for someone to talk to. After so long, i actually craved fellowship with the brethren! I was dying to share what was inside of me. All my shyness and fears of being judged or rejected disappeared! All i wanted was to spread the fire within me. I have been seeing CC when i google for chat, but i never joined before, knowing how cold and messed up i was. But that day, injumped right in. One of my best decisions ever! :D

To the brethren who don't like seeing a wall text, i'm sorry, but i'm compelled to write and share my testimony. Please do forgive me :) When you taste and see God's awesomeness, you just can't silent.

So sister, yes, go out, meet new brethren. No problem with that. But don't expect them to fill what only God can fill. Because there will be times of without...when all you have is yourself, physically. But seek God first before anything else. That is the reason you are going through that season of loneliness. It's not coz you couldn't get into a group. It's not coz you don't go out often. It's not coz you isolate yourself. It's coz you haven't been content with just being with God yet, and trusting Him completely. You haven't fallen in love with Him yet. When you finally do, everything else follows. You will experience joy unlike ever before. God's Word, you will then see as a treasure trove. Everything becomes beautiful in your eyes. You will want for absolutely nothing but God :D And it's only right, 'coz He is our all in all. And before you know it, you are surrounded by everything you've ever hoped and dreamed of. He is so awesome with that. Giving you the answer to the cries of your heart at the best possible time. So don't waste the hours and the daysbfeeling sorry for yourself. God is just one prayer away.:)

Psalm 34-1:10
34 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
[SUP]3 [/SUP]O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
[SUP]4 [/SUP]I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
[SUP]6 [/SUP]This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
[SUP]7 [/SUP]The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]O fear the Lord, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
[SUP]10 [/SUP]The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.





God bless you, and replace your loneliness and despair with unspeakable joy and peace and love in His presence!!! :)
 
C

cutericeball

Guest
#16
awww cute, and a blessing!~
 
A

annie123

Guest
#17
hi Trezhy
I have a similar problem, of no friends where i live. I was actually good friends with another woman from SA on here, though she doesn't come on anymore. So if you're looking for some CC friends feel free to contact me.
Aww :( miss our chats a lot!!
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#18
A man can sit by the river an awfully long time before a roast duck on a silver plate will come floating along... This has been my mistake is waiting for God to bring in these people who will some how magically be friends all of a sudden. God will send the goose but it's our job to catch it, cook it and eat it. There are probably at least one person in your life who you wish you were closer with... just in a friendly way... but instead of opening up to them, ya wait till someone comes over and picks you up but that's never gonna happen if they don't know you need to be picked up. Gotta make an effort and be a bit vulnerable... which is hard for some people...
I see it as a given we are to be active in our faith. If we sit waiting for 'it' to happen...it probably won't and then we blame God for not being there for us. I like the analogy, a dead fish can float downstream but it takes a live one to swim up, against the current. Life is a tough place for everyone, we ought never to think we are the only ones who have it tough :) if we getnto think that, we feel singled out, everyone else is ok.....We share the fact that we live in a fallen world and it can be a very lonely place. The good news is that we are all a family, together with God as our father. We are brothers and sisters together. So we should all feel able to reach out when life is getting too much and we really should recieve love and support from one another. That's love, that's Christ in action, that's live fish :) God Bless you , <><
 

yac11

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2013
580
19
18
#19
Hi, sorry for the "drama title". I am a 32 year old single lady. I don't have friends. I will love to meet good christian friends. I have tried to make friends in church and other christian gatherings, but each time it seems they already have their own little group of friends. I just can't seem to break in. There's no really one on one meetings, always group meetings and at the end of the meetings everyone goes about their personal group of friends etc. I get left all alone again.It is a big church and it's hard for me to get connected. All communication is mostly through e-mail, it is so unpersonal. I am very lonely, no friends, nobody to talk to and it leaves me very very depressed all the time. Please I need friends, good christian friends. If possible I can meet one on one. I am always sad and unhappy. I always feel weird and odd because I don't have any friend at all. I need to talk to people, I feel that If I remain like this I'm gonna get more deppressed and sometimes I start having feelings of self-destruction. I'm a committed Christian.

God bless you
We all have similar situations with loneliness, etc. etc. Without going into my long story, I want to assure you God is with you and He is for you. God does give hugs, and some of us have heard his voice. It took 30 years of praying to God by beginning with the Lord's prayer most of the time, but I am now so blessed, which I can say surpasses all my understanding.

I had always felt it hard to make friends, or fit in for one reason or another. But God's Word is true, just as it says. I found out everything backyards. I know God and have had a intimate relationship with Him. He was the one who told me to go to church and I did. HE is my strength and He is my food, my water and the air I breathe. Don't worry right now about how many friends you have or have not. Think about God all the time, He is your counselor. Think about going to your church and hold you head up high. You are one of God's children and you belong in any group in that church and anywhere else.

Step forward and Serve, make a difference in someone else's life. Pray to God to make you a better person, so you can be a blessings to others, always. God loves you.
 
S

SeekingJC

Guest
#20
Do you serve in any of your church's ministries/services? I find that's a good way to break into groups. And remember sister you're never alone :)

God Bless,
SeekingJC