Kitchen Flirtations

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#41
I don't know how to explain this to anyone ... but you can't make physical contact feel good to someone who doesn't enjoy it. Basically, that's my point. Everyone says that I think all men are bad. I don't think that and I don't know why people think I think that. It's so strange. No, it's not that I think men are bad, but I do think that men have a particular way about them that is just their nature. So what do I say when a man enjoys touch and I don't? I guess my question is, do I owe that man what he enjoys that causes me suffering because I am a woman? I'm not saying that he's good or bad; is a woman's job to be obedient to a man, even if it does not feel good to her, but it does feel good to him?

I have no answers. I'm only asking because I don't know.
A woman's job, whatever it may be certainly does not mean that a woman must be obedient to a man who is her husband. In my opinion, that's just a bunch of nonsense. You ask very interesting questions by the way.
 

Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
1,639
105
63
#42
Its very sweet how you and your wife enjoy your relationship.

I do think that in some ways talking about relationships can be exclusionary to those who are not in relationships, are just out of one, or never ever been in one.
I sense the danger of it when I want to talk about it all the time... and thats why I hang out with friends now who have their own relationships. We get to talk, share ideas and just feel excited when the "I did this..." becomes "We did this..." in reference to being a couple.

And that said, I do enjoy my own relationship with my boyfriend. For the first time in my life, I am with someone who's truly an equal and even in some ways far ahead of me.

I enjoy being able to talk about my day with him.
He has great insight and work related advice that I appreciate. We are in constant touch and there are those sweet moments when there's the "good morning/good night" texts, the just after work text and the text during the work day.

As a woman, it is absolutely flattering to know that I am on his mind all the time. Then we have our date nights ... we try to see each other quite often during the week but we also want to give each other space.
If we ever speak on the phone, we both know that we would end up talking for 5 hours straight and not sleep.

It is still early in our relationship so we are at that phase where we are starting to get to know each other better, and like two puzzle pieces fitting in, trying to move our lives in order.

What I really like about my boyfriend is the comfort level I feel around him. Just holding his hand or showing affection in public comes naturally to me which is so surprising.
I have never felt that way with any man before.

I have been on many, many dates but I have never really committed to anyone. I didn't give in easily. While he asked to be exclusive quite quickly, I took my time.

We have so many similarities. He's not a typical American. He grew up all over, just like me. He speaks multiple languages, just like me.
He's a really good musician, unlike me.

There's something about being serenaded by a man as he plays music and looks into your eyes. And as you do that, you realize he has the most shockingly beautiful green eyes :).

Then there are the sweet things he does.

I found an old guitar with a string broken in my apartment a couple of weeks ago and I told him about it over text. As he came to meet me, he brought a set of strings and offered to fix it for me.

I didn't even need to ask. Then its just the way he looks at me. Like, he's absolutely spell bound and enchanted. He treats me like a princess - many times he kisses the back of my hand while we are just walking.

We don't really flirt in the kitchen because he usually takes me out. We've been to some really nice quaint places as well as expensive fancy ones.

He pays for everything... He never lets me pay.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#43
Its very sweet how you and your wife enjoy your relationship.

I do think that in some ways talking about relationships can be exclusionary to those who are not in relationships, are just out of one, or never ever been in one.
I sense the danger of it when I want to talk about it all the time... and thats why I hang out with friends now who have their own relationships. We get to talk, share ideas and just feel excited when the "I did this..." becomes "We did this..." in reference to being a couple.

And that said, I do enjoy my own relationship with my boyfriend. For the first time in my life, I am with someone who's truly an equal and even in some ways far ahead of me.

I enjoy being able to talk about my day with him.
He has great insight and work related advice that I appreciate. We are in constant touch and there are those sweet moments when there's the "good morning/good night" texts, the just after work text and the text during the work day.

As a woman, it is absolutely flattering to know that I am on his mind all the time. Then we have our date nights ... we try to see each other quite often during the week but we also want to give each other space.
If we ever speak on the phone, we both know that we would end up talking for 5 hours straight and not sleep.

It is still early in our relationship so we are at that phase where we are starting to get to know each other better, and like two puzzle pieces fitting in, trying to move our lives in order.

What I really like about my boyfriend is the comfort level I feel around him. Just holding his hand or showing affection in public comes naturally to me which is so surprising.
I have never felt that way with any man before.

I have been on many, many dates but I have never really committed to anyone. I didn't give in easily. While he asked to be exclusive quite quickly, I took my time.

We have so many similarities. He's not a typical American. He grew up all over, just like me. He speaks multiple languages, just like me.
He's a really good musician, unlike me.

There's something about being serenaded by a man as he plays music and looks into your eyes. And as you do that, you realize he has the most shockingly beautiful green eyes :).

Then there are the sweet things he does.

I found an old guitar with a string broken in my apartment a couple of weeks ago and I told him about it over text. As he came to meet me, he brought a set of strings and offered to fix it for me.

I didn't even need to ask. Then its just the way he looks at me. Like, he's absolutely spell bound and enchanted. He treats me like a princess - many times he kisses the back of my hand while we are just walking.

We don't really flirt in the kitchen because he usually takes me out. We've been to some really nice quaint places as well as expensive fancy ones.

He pays for everything... He never lets me pay.
This one may be a keeper. I enjoyed your post very much. The nice quaint places may be romantic. I'm impressed the he pays for everything. That's always a good sign. Also impressed that he saw a small opportunity to make you happy by getting the guitar strings and fixed it for you. There is nothing wrong with the affection that he shows you either. You probably could get used to that with no problem.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#44
Disappointed so far that no one seems willing to share even a personal glimpse into how even an ordinary thing shared in a relationship can be an intimate and romantic encounter if your heart is open to that possibility, or if not currently in a relationship you imagine such an encounter happening. Even washing the dishes can be romantic as there are suds involved. Perhaps there is no one who is in a romantic relationship on this site or maybe the honeymoon is over and now the only thing to look forward to is taking out the trash. Even that can be a rewarding experience if that activity is shared with someone that you love. Maybe I'm just looking at things the wrong way, that could very well be because I am no expert on intimate romantic relationships. I did enjoy sharing the pizza that my wife made last night though. It was exceptional.
Well idk if I'm gonna get my waifu xD, seriously though i fantasize a lot so I'm going to TRY to keep this short ahem: I think it would be totally cool, since I'm locking my hair, if my wife could do my retwist or maybe the styles that i want, i think that would make me internally freak out and it totally remind me of when i had to get my hair done as a kid I'd wanna hug her sooooo much WHAT IF I COULD DO HER HAIR TOO 😍 i gotta calm down * inhales and exhales repeatedly* thinking about this makes my headache worse.....BUT IT'S WORTH IT
 

Josie223

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2018
1,340
460
83
Cameroon
#45
When you read through posts here and get to know some of those things people have been through, you like say wow God I thought I was alone in this. Thanks to all those who have taken time to share their stories, past, and experiences. Just reading some has been a sort of healing to those who have gone through same or similar situations. I know sharing alone has been a sort of healing to you as well.

I went through a situation at the peak of my teen age that almost destroyed me completely. It took me close to ten years before I was ever bold enough to share. There is one thing I know, sharing it was the end of my trauma and the beginning of a new era in my life. I may never have to share it on here, not that I am not completely healed, but I wish bygones to be bygones. I feel like each time I do, satan is glorified. I refuse to give him that glory.
Glory be to God

I would not end this without thanking br Jerry who started up this thread. May Lord Almighty continue to bless you as He inspires you to do more for His glory, Amen
Thumbs up!
 

Josie223

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2018
1,340
460
83
Cameroon
#46
As far as "total submission" mentioned earlier on here is concerned:
Wife's to submit,
husband's to love.
Each doing their duties faithfully, irrespective of what the other did/do/does.
You are not going to be judged by what the other did/do/does, you will be judged by what you do.
The Bible didn't say wives submit to your loving husbands or husbands love your submissive wives!
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,894
113
#47
I’m just here to read the beautiful stories that couples have shared *sigh* :p
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#48
As far as "total submission" mentioned earlier on here is concerned:
Wife's to submit,
husband's to love.
Each doing their duties faithfully, irrespective of what the other did/do/does.
You are not going to be judged by what the other did/do/does, you will be judged by what you do.
The Bible didn't say wives submit to your loving husbands or husbands love your submissive wives!
(Ephesians 5:25):

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ ... gave himself up for her.

(Ephesians 5:21):

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

~ Sounds like submitting in love to me from the male viewpoint as well. ~

So, while husbands do not abdicate authority over their wives, they should lay aside all selfishness and authoritarian dominance. Instead, they obey this text by laying down their lives for their wives as they selflessly seek their wives’ highest good (Ephesians 5:25-29).

There is a sense in which even parents are to be subject to their own children, as they serve them in love. When a husband lovingly bears the burdens of his wife, is that not subjection? When a father lovingly gives himself for his children, there is subjection. When we assist one another, it is servitude or subjection. Thus there would seem to be a sense in which we all are mutually to submit to one another, without abandoning our roles of God-given authority. Thus, in this text Paul is saying,

Filled with the Spirit, believers’ relationships should be marked by joyful submission to one another out of the fear of Christ.

It is more than a subjugated duty - it is a visceral lifestyle where we become like-minded and demeanored in Christ as our Characteristic. We see, thru the Holy Spirit, the revelation in how happiness is found and maintained in our relationships. So says the Lord; Thus, so it is a reality.

It is not that we need to submit ourselves as a indifference to our rights. It is that by submitting we see thru God's eyes that we are succoring God's designed & desired blessings.

When we do this - the stories we come here to read are indeed beautiful stories that couples share.
 

Josie223

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2018
1,340
460
83
Cameroon
#49
(Ephesians 5:25):

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ ... gave himself up for her.

(Ephesians 5:21):

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

~ Sounds like submitting in love to me from the male viewpoint as well. ~

So, while husbands do not abdicate authority over their wives, they should lay aside all selfishness and authoritarian dominance. Instead, they obey this text by laying down their lives for their wives as they selflessly seek their wives’ highest good (Ephesians 5:25-29).

There is a sense in which even parents are to be subject to their own children, as they serve them in love. When a husband lovingly bears the burdens of his wife, is that not subjection? When a father lovingly gives himself for his children, there is subjection. When we assist one another, it is servitude or subjection. Thus there would seem to be a sense in which we all are mutually to submit to one another, without abandoning our roles of God-given authority. Thus, in this text Paul is saying,

Filled with the Spirit, believers’ relationships should be marked by joyful submission to one another out of the fear of Christ.

It is more than a subjugated duty - it is a visceral lifestyle where we become like-minded and demeanored in Christ as our Characteristic. We see, thru the Holy Spirit, the revelation in how happiness is found and maintained in our relationships. So says the Lord; Thus, so it is a reality.

It is not that we need to submit ourselves as a indifference to our rights. It is that by submitting we see thru God's eyes that we are succoring God's designed & desired blessings.

When we do this - the stories we come here to read are indeed beautiful stories that couples share.

"Christ ... gave himself up for her."
Amen

8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. Romans 5:7

Christ didn't die for His church because it was righteous, He did because He loves it, He died "while we were still sinners"
If the submission is done alonside the loving, what a wonderful home, praise God; But without the loving/submission, we are still called to submit & love like Jesus love His church and "gave Himself up for her"

Or do we say; you submit I love, you love I submit & vice versa?

46 "If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:46-48)

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (Luke 6:32-36)
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#50
Can't wer just for freaking once stay on topic... this wasn't about submission. It was about relationships. This was supposed to be people taking and exchanging a beautiful part of life....not a debate
Jeez its so annoying. I wanna see others experiences not debating
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#51
Well idk if I'm gonna get my waifu xD, seriously though i fantasize a lot so I'm going to TRY to keep this short ahem: I think it would be totally cool, since I'm locking my hair, if my wife could do my retwist or maybe the styles that i want, i think that would make me internally freak out and it totally remind me of when i had to get my hair done as a kid I'd wanna hug her sooooo much WHAT IF I COULD DO HER HAIR TOO 😍 i gotta calm down * inhales and exhales repeatedly* thinking about this makes my headache worse.....BUT IT'S WORTH IT
Before you mess with her hair you might want to start with a shampoo. Think suds.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#52
When you read through posts here and get to know some of those things people have been through, you like say wow God I thought I was alone in this. Thanks to all those who have taken time to share their stories, past, and experiences. Just reading some has been a sort of healing to those who have gone through same or similar situations. I know sharing alone has been a sort of healing to you as well.

I went through a situation at the peak of my teen age that almost destroyed me completely. It took me close to ten years before I was ever bold enough to share. There is one thing I know, sharing it was the end of my trauma and the beginning of a new era in my life. I may never have to share it on here, not that I am not completely healed, but I wish bygones to be bygones. I feel like each time I do, satan is glorified. I refuse to give him that glory.
Glory be to God

I would not end this without thanking br Jerry who started up this thread. May Lord Almighty continue to bless you as He inspires you to do more for His glory, Amen
Thumbs up!
I understand the part about the healing not complete. Even then there will be scar tissue that remains. My horrible first marriage years ago almost destroyed me too so I get what you are relating. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. Thank you also for your kind words, that means a whole lot to me.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#54
It was just online kitchen flirtation, nevertheless it made me swoon. We shared recipes. He loves to cook and we exchanged pics of what we cooked. And then it was over. Nothing lasts forever so it is best to make the most of it while it lasts.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#55
It was just online kitchen flirtation, nevertheless it made me swoon. We shared recipes. He loves to cook and we exchanged pics of what we cooked. And then it was over. Nothing lasts forever so it is best to make the most of it while it lasts.
Online kitchen flirtations can get steamy too 'cause you are in the kitchen. Nothing does last forever but some marriages last the rest of your life. I enjoyed the part of the exchanging of recipes. I must have a vivid imagination. Thank you for sharing this flirtation.
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#56
"Christ ... gave himself up for her." Amen

8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. Romans 5:7

Christ didn't die for His church because it was righteous, He did because He loves it, He died "while we were still sinners"
If the submission is done alonside the loving, what a wonderful home, praise God; But without the loving/submission, we are still called to submit & love like Jesus love His church and "gave Himself up for her"

Or do we say; you submit I love, you love I submit & vice versa?

46 "If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:46-48)

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (Luke 6:32-36)

That is the beauty of submission - it is unconditional, and frothed with Blessings the Lord bestows on us even as we become living sacrifices to His will in way of costs. When we lay all this on the open table - This is a love story from God to us. In fact - it even extends out of the Kitchen. LOL. :). I pray we are on board with one another in thought - Josie.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,576
4,265
113
#57
It was just online kitchen flirtation, nevertheless it made me swoon. We shared recipes. He loves to cook and we exchanged pics of what we cooked. And then it was over. Nothing lasts forever so it is best to make the most of it while it lasts.
How do you know he wasn't just "catfishing" you? :p


 
Aug 2, 2009
24,576
4,265
113
#59
I guess you will never really know until they prove themselves to be trustworthy. It is just fair to assume that online people are catfishing until proven otherwise.
It was just a joke. I meant how do u know he wasn't showing you fried catfish.. ;)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#60
How do you know he wasn't just "catfishing" you? :p


I'm down with that. Need some lemon wedges and tartar sauce. I love catfish and have had it many times. The city I used to live in Florida had a restaurant called the Catfish House that was just down the street from me. Excellent catfish, exceptional ice tea too. Oh yeah, they had this little train that ran on tracks through the whole place. That was kinda cool too.