Diary of a Wimpy Carer

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M

Miri

Guest
#1
As some may know on here. I was brought up by my aunt and now
in her old age, she has various medical problems.

COPD, uses oxygen 24/7, heart failure due to the COPD, 50% kidney function,
type 2 diabetes, swollen ankles and lower legs due to the heart failure.
Some reduced cognitive function due to two mini strokes she had a few
years ago.

We are currently waiting for another assessment by the memory clinic to
see if there has been any further decline in that area.

I did work full time, then reduced to a 4 day week in 2014, then a 3 day week
in 2015 to look after her.

It’s hard, impossibly hard at times. We’ve nearly lost her a few times along the
way as well. I don’t know what the future holds. It was really difficult getting
her through the winter months this winter. She wasn’t free of chest infections
and colds the entire period of Sept 2017 to Feb 2018. Including a 10 day stint in
hosp with sepsis.

Anything which causes further breathing problems, even a mild cold, could
kill her. We have been pretty much living one day at a time for the last
5.5 years. Not knowing if she would still be alive each morning.

She gets very confused when she is ill due to all the various medical issues,
mostly lack of oxygen and the poisoning of her body due to reduced kidney
function. To some degree I think the confusion is sort of a blessing for her, as
she forgets how bad it’s been.

Anyway that sets the scene. Oh apart from that I know 100% she is a born
again Christian. She became a Christian at the graveside of her father when I
was a child.

As the 23rd Psalm was read over his grave, it was like a light bulb went on.
She calls it her Damascus experience. Jesus became so real to her in that
instant that she kept looking around the graveyard expecting to see God!

Now she is 83. Recently despite the confusion and ill health. She reaffirmed
her commitment to Christ in a moment of clarity and understanding. It was
during the middle of the night when she called me down and she was crying.
I ended up crying too. I know that whatever happens she is safe in the arms
of Jesus.

For the record, I believe in once saved always saved. There is no other way to
explain how God has continued to speak to her, to reach out to my aunt. Even
despite her lack of mental capacity to read the bible or understand sermons
and religious programmes on TV, or her lack of ability now to follow complex
conversation. In her old age God has given her a simple child like faith.
She prays simple “help me” prayers. That’s all it needs. She is unable to do much
of anything now, let alone think about the meaning of faith. But God continues
to hold onto her. It’s always God who holds onto us.

Anyway so that’s the introduction.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#2
Ok so typical Monday morning.

Got up early (only time I’ve had a lie in during 5.5 years is when
my aunt has been in hospital, otherwise it’s up early 7 days a week).

Made my aunt coffee, breakfast, changed her bedding, sorted her
meds out for the day. Made my breakfast, then when the carer came I
went to get showered.

The carer does my aunt’s personal care, gives her a bed bath etc.
She can’t her upstairs to the shower any more so her bed is downstairs.
Fortunately we have a downstairs toilet as well as an upstairs bathroom.

Then later for me it was off to the post office to collect my aunts pension,
pay the bills.

I did go to the chemist to pick up some repeat perscriptions. The receptionist
said they had been printed but not signed off by the doctor yet. So I will
have to see if I can fit in another trip to the chemist later this week.

I have way too many wasted days of frustration trying to get prescriptions
off the doctor/chemist. Often they take longer than they should, either that or
the chemist doesn’t have everything available so I have to make two journeys
to pick up a complete order.

I’m cream crackered today so haven’t done much, just needed a bit of me
time.

Oh that “me time” still included a load of laundry, drying, making meals,
making drinks. Helping my aunt into bed at least 3 times. She can get
out but struggles to get her legs in properly by herself. I’m sure that’s why
I keep having back problems.

Tonight before bed time she had a bit of an accident, so I washed and
changed her before bed and cleaned the chair down.

Unfortunately she has quite a lot of accidents but can’t help it.
I usually end up doing a weeks worth of laundry every 2 days and that
doesn’t include my things.

Oh I forgot according to my Fitbit (which seems pretty accurate). I’ve had
an average of 6.45 hours sleep per night over the last 3 months.

My aunt often calls me down during the night to help her.
Lately she has often been calling out to me in her sleep too and when
i have gone to see her, she has been fast asleep.

It’s hard but I love her and I want her to be able to live in her own home
as long as possible.

This situation could happen to anyone of us at any time. Any of us could
become a carer, any of us could reach a stage where we need to be cared
for. It’s a humbling experience on both sides.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#3
Today a typical working day.

Got up earlier than usual, got showered and myself ready.

Then woke up my aunt, made us both breakfast.
Made us both a packed lunch. Sorted out by aunts meds for the day.
Changed the bedding. Made sure she had everything she needed within
reach.

Carer came just as I was going to work. They come back at lunch time and also
about 3.30pm to check on her.

I didn’t get any calls at work today so everything must have been ok
when they visited during the day.

Got home about 6pm, made us both tea, put washer and dryer on.

My aunt goes a few days at a time and she seems fine then will have a couple
of very confused days when she doesn’t know where she is. She might hear the
TV on and think someone else is in the house. Or keep asking where the baby is.

We are not sure why this happens, it gets worse if she spends a long time in bed
due to sleep apnea and the COPD, so probably due to low oxygen levels and
hypoxia. Also she gets like this if she doesn’t drink enough in warm weather.
Even though we all make her drinks she often won’t drink them.

We are currently waiting for an assessment to see also if there might be some
dementia starting.

It was hard tonight, she spent two hours repeatedly asking me where her
own house was. (She has lived in this house 20 years).

Some days I can deal with this, some days it’s just too much.

Had to change her through again as well this evening.

I’m tired tonight, just waiting for the dryer to finish so I can go to bed.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#4
I couldn’t sleep at all last night.

My aunt woke me up at midnight, she had taken off her oxygen,
it must have been off for a while as her sats were only 80%.

I put it back on changed her etc, went back to bed. After that I
heard her up and about 3 or 4 times and I couldn’t sleep wondering
if she was ok. I got up again at one point at 2.45am when I heard
a loud bang, she had just bumped her walking frame against a door
going to the bathroom.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#5
Spent two hours gardening today, cutting the hedges and grass, then sweeping up.

But then it was get showered, put on laundry to wash, make lunch.

No time to chill a bit and relax. I’m grateful for the strength to do all this
though.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#6
It’s friday evening and it’s been a hard week.

The hot weather and even hotter nights have made sleeping very hard.
Even harder is that this hot weather has affected my aunt. She hasn’t been
drinking enough even though me and the carers keep telling her she must
drink more.

So most evenings she has been confused wondering which house she is.
She has heart failure so is on diuretics to reduce water retention, only as she
isn’t drinking enough it’s putting a strain on her kidneys. So the doctor
advised just giving her these on alternate days, until she either starts
drinking more or the weather cools down.

I suppose it’s yet another lesson in taking things one day at a time.