Suicidal

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Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
8,385
4,423
113
#21
Umzza, There's many powerful beautiful prayers posted here for you. I can truly see the Love of Jesus speaking to you, as He is reaching out His arms to you & reminding you that there is hope & healing for whatever you are facing in life. I agree, that its so important to find a trusted person to talk to, whether it be a church pastor, friend etc... As you allow the Lord to shine His love & truth into your heart, healing will begin. Just know that You are loved! and your life has purpose! and Jesus will lead you out of this dark place & He will breathe new life within you. Lord Jesus, I lift up Umzza to you in prayer! Lord, I pray that you would bring divine intervention to her life. Surround her with truth, every hour of every day. Open the eyes of her spirit, so she is able to see clearly the purpose for her life. May the lies of the enemy be quenched in Jesus Holy Name!
"Amen"
 

SIMON55

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
538
193
43
MO,OK,AR
#22
I've been thinking about killing myself a lot more lately.
Hopefully today will be a better day for you with many blessing coming your way.Do not act or make decision in haste , trust in God life can change for the better in an instant. Ask God to be with you and guide you through this and his will for you be done in Jesus name. Please reach out to whoever is close to you and talk to them. Ask for assistance to help see Gods blessings.😀
 

hakins

New member
Feb 18, 2019
6
17
3
South Korea
www.youtube.com
#23
I don't know anything about the background story but you must be going some tough stuff my friend. It's you who choose all the options in your life, but you should also know that Jesus also knows that you are thinking of these poor choices right now. He is nott just a fairy tale God who sees you up from the sky. He came down for you. He is always praying for you and waiting for you. Desperately. So, grab Him and hug Him! pour out all the things you stored in ur heart to Him! He is always there for you my freind
 

umzza

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2015
389
65
28
#24
Umzza, hey there. How are you doing?
Idk stressed. School is really difficult so just wasted time and money and effort when I fail. Like I spend hours and hours on projects and homework and I can't even get passing grades. So I was real tired today and drank a few cups of coffee and then threw that up because I can't take much caffeine apparently. I can drink a bunch of vodka and my stomach's fine, but I drink caffeine and feel sick. I'm just tired though. Like I think religiously I am as slow as I am with my school. Like it takes me hours and hours just to get a few points on hw, like hours and hours and hours. I feel like I am the same way with understanding religious stuff, and people I ask for help think I am not getting anywhere even though in my mind I can think of how I've improved on things but in their mind I haven't improved so then they just stop talking to me. That ends making me really depressed and then spending hours and hours and hours, like hours and hours and hours and hours, trying to understand that and fix the situation. Which never happens. So idk I'm stressed.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,687
7,165
113
#25
Idk stressed. School is really difficult so just wasted time and money and effort when I fail. Like I spend hours and hours on projects and homework and I can't even get passing grades. So I was real tired today and drank a few cups of coffee and then threw that up because I can't take much caffeine apparently. I can drink a bunch of vodka and my stomach's fine, but I drink caffeine and feel sick. I'm just tired though. Like I think religiously I am as slow as I am with my school. Like it takes me hours and hours just to get a few points on hw, like hours and hours and hours. I feel like I am the same way with understanding religious stuff, and people I ask for help think I am not getting anywhere even though in my mind I can think of how I've improved on things but in their mind I haven't improved so then they just stop talking to me. That ends making me really depressed and then spending hours and hours and hours, like hours and hours and hours and hours, trying to understand that and fix the situation. Which never happens. So idk I'm stressed.
First of all, you are doing amazing in that you keep at it. How encouraging is that....very. I spend hours studying too. It's interesting that you mention not being able to drink coffee. I am on day 3 without it, because I struggle with sleep so it is helping me to NOT drink it. I think that I have a caffeine sensitivity, so I understand. Please stay away from the vodka. Umzzza. Have you ever considered like group counseling? It is less expensive and you can meet others who sometimes go through some of the stuff you go through. You sound like you are very hard on yourself. You don't have to understand religion, just spend time praying and singing worship songs and read the word just a little at a time every day. I know folks like me want to give you advice when maybe what you need is just someone to listen. Have you ever talked to God like you just did here? I appreciated your transparency. J know He does even more. Thank you so much for responding. You matter and I care. I will keep praying for you and your school work. I pray also that you can find a tutor and some counseling.

There is a verse in Jeremiah that says...

"Behold, I am the Lord , the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?"
Jeremiah 32:27 NASB

Read that over and over, meditate on it, let it refresh and strengthen you. He loves you so much. Lean into the one who can do all. He wants to equip you. You are a blessing umzza and I want to help, so reach out if you want or need. But also seek some professional help. There are resources available. We all need help from time to time in different areas of our lives.

You know what I read when you share your frustrations? You are a fighter, a warrior who doesn't give up even when it gets hard. Warm hugs dear Umzza. You are lovable and precious to me, but even more to God.
 

AgapeShellArt

Active member
Nov 21, 2018
156
128
43
#26
Idk stressed. School is really difficult so just wasted time and money and effort when I fail. Like I spend hours and hours on projects and homework and I can't even get passing grades. So I was real tired today and drank a few cups of coffee and then threw that up because I can't take much caffeine apparently. I can drink a bunch of vodka and my stomach's fine, but I drink caffeine and feel sick. I'm just tired though. Like I think religiously I am as slow as I am with my school. Like it takes me hours and hours just to get a few points on hw, like hours and hours and hours. I feel like I am the same way with understanding religious stuff, and people I ask for help think I am not getting anywhere even though in my mind I can think of how I've improved on things but in their mind I haven't improved so then they just stop talking to me. That ends making me really depressed and then spending hours and hours and hours, like hours and hours and hours and hours, trying to understand that and fix the situation. Which never happens. So idk I'm stressed.
I have seen the growth in you. Love you. Sorry if I have been distant. Started a new job and haven't had time for much else
 

Dooms

Junior Member
Feb 8, 2018
70
69
18
#27
First of all, you are doing amazing in that you keep at it. How encouraging is that....very. I spend hours studying too. It's interesting that you mention not being able to drink coffee. I am on day 3 without it, because I struggle with sleep so it is helping me to NOT drink it. I think that I have a caffeine sensitivity, so I understand. Please stay away from the vodka. Umzzza. Have you ever considered like group counseling? It is less expensive and you can meet others who sometimes go through some of the stuff you go through. You sound like you are very hard on yourself. You don't have to understand religion, just spend time praying and singing worship songs and read the word just a little at a time every day. I know folks like me want to give you advice when maybe what you need is just someone to listen. Have you ever talked to God like you just did here? I appreciated your transparency. J know He does even more. Thank you so much for responding. You matter and I care. I will keep praying for you and your school work. I pray also that you can find a tutor and some counseling.

There is a verse in Jeremiah that says...

"Behold, I am the Lord , the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?"
Jeremiah 32:27 NASB

Read that over and over, meditate on it, let it refresh and strengthen you. He loves you so much. Lean into the one who can do all. He wants to equip you. You are a blessing umzza and I want to help, so reach out if you want or need. But also seek some professional help. There are resources available. We all need help from time to time in different areas of our lives.

You know what I read when you share your frustrations? You are a fighter, a warrior who doesn't give up even when it gets hard. Warm hugs dear Umzza. You are lovable and precious to me, but even more to God.
I'm hearing so much of God's love in you 'Charli'.

That being said, Umzza, you have to face those demons that are chasing you. With the Lords help, they will flee before you, however you have to be brave enough first. Do you want to be a victim or a believer bearing Christ's cross with him?
 

KD

Member
Nov 20, 2018
74
61
18
#28
I'm hearing so much of God's love in you 'Charli'.

That being said, Umzza, you have to face those demons that are chasing you. With the Lords help, they will flee before you, however you have to be brave enough first. Do you want to be a victim or a believer bearing Christ's cross with him?
 

KD

Member
Nov 20, 2018
74
61
18
#29
Umzza

Lifting you up in prayer. You can do all things through Christ.. it gets difficult with the stress and pressure in the world. Know that you are loved and have much value. Please continue to talk through your troubles. This will help you process your thoughts and emotions. My father committed suicide, I can empathize with your situation having dealt with the aftermath and the depression and a litany of other issues in the wake of devastation. Trust me it gets better, it gets easier, you get stronger, you get wiser, God gets the glory. Keep keepin on!
 

umzza

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2015
389
65
28
#31
First of all, you are doing amazing in that you keep at it. How encouraging is that....very. I spend hours studying too. It's interesting that you mention not being able to drink coffee. I am on day 3 without it, because I struggle with sleep so it is helping me to NOT drink it. I think that I have a caffeine sensitivity, so I understand. Please stay away from the vodka. Umzzza. Have you ever considered like group counseling? It is less expensive and you can meet others who sometimes go through some of the stuff you go through. You sound like you are very hard on yourself. You don't have to understand religion, just spend time praying and singing worship songs and read the word just a little at a time every day. I know folks like me want to give you advice when maybe what you need is just someone to listen. Have you ever talked to God like you just did here? I appreciated your transparency. J know He does even more. Thank you so much for responding. You matter and I care. I will keep praying for you and your school work. I pray also that you can find a tutor and some counseling.

There is a verse in Jeremiah that says...

"Behold, I am the Lord , the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?"
Jeremiah 32:27 NASB

Read that over and over, meditate on it, let it refresh and strengthen you. He loves you so much. Lean into the one who can do all. He wants to equip you. You are a blessing umzza and I want to help, so reach out if you want or need. But also seek some professional help. There are resources available. We all need help from time to time in different areas of our lives.

You know what I read when you share your frustrations? You are a fighter, a warrior who doesn't give up even when it gets hard. Warm hugs dear Umzza. You are lovable and precious to me, but even more to God.
I don’t talk to God much. I don’t know what to say. I don’t do well in groups. Idk what to say and I don’t feel comfortable. Idk I want to say more but I’m really tired tonight. I stopped the vodka and had three or four beers last night and just one tonight. I feel like I’m just drinking water though. I have to drink so much to just get a little drunk so anyway idk I’m really tired so going to sleep now.
 

Soulalis

Junior Member
Sep 5, 2016
14
5
3
#32
I don’t talk to God much. I don’t know what to say. I don’t do well in groups. Idk what to say and I don’t feel comfortable. Idk I want to say more but I’m really tired tonight. I stopped the vodka and had three or four beers last night and just one tonight. I feel like I’m just drinking water though. I have to drink so much to just get a little drunk so anyway idk I’m really tired so going to sleep now.
I'm telling you need to start keeping the Sabbath it's why kids fall away from their faith in their first year of college they never knew God and the only way to get to know Him is by keeping the Sabbath. Just go through all his sermons the whole day. Keep your mind on God He will spend the day with you then you understand why He's our rest.
http://www.revivalsermons.org/#sthash.igJf6DhB.dpbs
Friday sunset to Saturday sunset.
 

umzza

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2015
389
65
28
#33
I'm telling you need to start keeping the Sabbath it's why kids fall away from their faith in their first year of college they never knew God and the only way to get to know Him is by keeping the Sabbath. Just go through all his sermons the whole day. Keep your mind on God He will spend the day with you then you understand why He's our rest.
http://www.revivalsermons.org/#sthash.igJf6DhB.dpbs
Friday sunset to Saturday sunset.
I don't understand church. I've tried going to churches and it doesn't help. Sometimes I feel better but then feel bad again. I feel like I am failing at life. I try to drink and nothing. I cut and it just leaves scars. I cut almost to the bone on my ribs a week or two ago and it hurts. Like it's hard to find other options with things and find ways to deal with situations.
 
J

Jen1167

Guest
#34
I've been thinking about killing myself a lot more lately.
Do you have someone to talk to? Have you thought of getting help? I've been suicidal many times. Is there something you're going through that is making you feel like this or do you have depression? Please reach out.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#35
Father, I thank You that You are our hope and joy. I pray Lord that umzza (and others) will find true rest in You and that they will know deliverance from depression and overwhelming thoughts, in Jesus' name. I pray they know of a certainty that You are Light and Life, Father God. Praise You!

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines
 

umzza

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2015
389
65
28
#36
Do you have someone to talk to? Have you thought of getting help? I've been suicidal many times. Is there something you're going through that is making you feel like this or do you have depression? Please reach out.
I have one person I can text. I can talk on here. I tried talking to some people but one said to stop talking and then the other called the police on me so I don't feel good after that. The second one I didn't say I was suicidal though. After that I feel sick though. Like if the police come talk to me and I have a criminal record then there is no other option but to kill myself. Like that is the only option. So I felt really sick after that. But I have people on here and then someone to text and then like just small talk at work so it is okay now.
 
J

Jen1167

Guest
#37
I have one person I can text. I can talk on here. I tried talking to some people but one said to stop talking and then the other called the police on me so I don't feel good after that. The second one I didn't say I was suicidal though. After that I feel sick though. Like if the police come talk to me and I have a criminal record then there is no other option but to kill myself. Like that is the only option. So I felt really sick after that. But I have people on here and then someone to text and then like just small talk at work so it is okay now.
Are you sure? You can talk to me. I do understand
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,864
26,030
113
#39
I don’t talk to God much. I don’t know what to say. I don’t do well in groups. Idk what to say and I don’t feel comfortable.
Jesus told us how to pray. Have you tried praying that way? If you go to meetings and feel uncomfortable, you are not alone. I have been going to meetings for thirty yeas now and I still sometimes feel uncomfortable and often do not know what to say, when called upon to share. If you are called upon to share, and have nothing to say, simply tell the group you are there to listen, or, that you are not used to groups, feel uncomfortable, and don't know what to say. Still, you should let others know how badly you are hurting yourself with cutting, and how much you need help with your inability to deal with life on life's terms. We begin by asking for help.

PS~ my life has improved immeasurably with the help I have found.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,510
113
Anaheim, Cali.
#40
I have one person I can text. I can talk on here. I tried talking to some people but one said to stop talking and then the other called the police on me so I don't feel good after that. The second one I didn't say I was suicidal though. After that I feel sick though. Like if the police come talk to me and I have a criminal record then there is no other option but to kill myself. Like that is the only option. So I felt really sick after that. But I have people on here and then someone to text and then like just small talk at work so it is okay now.
You should surrender your self to a psychiatric observation for at least 72 hours, see a doctor and get some help before the damage you do to your self becomes irreversible. Do you think God approves of the way you are treating yourself? Face it healthy people don't do that to themselves. Get some help God loves you! There should be less shame for a sick person seeking help than hurting themselves. Please stop hurting yourself. There is help available for the asking. Just humble yourself and admit you can't do it alone. I'd take you myself if I had a car and you were nearby. I'll say it again God loves you and he certainly dosn't want you to hurt your self. In the name of Jesus, PLEASE GET HELP!