Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

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A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#82
Successful flirting is all about hinting without crossing an unspoken line. The more attuned you are to little hints and suggestions, and the more skilled you are with innuendo, the more naturally that process unfolds.
Ok, so there's the problem for me. Hints, flirty suggestions, skilled innuendo, etc. I'm not skilled at flirting because it seems pretentious and dishonest to me personally. Perhaps it's meant to be a game of cat and mouse and I just don't understand the rules. I mean after all, seems most people here find it acceptable to flirt and hint around. I'm just not one of them. Maybe I'm a weirdo. I don't wanna play with someone's emotions by flirting nor do I want someone to toy with me with suggestive innuendo.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
113
49
#83
just type me in the eye ..... for cryinoutloud
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,905
8,162
113
#84
Successful flirting is all about hinting without crossing an unspoken line. The more attuned you are to little hints and suggestions, and the more skilled you are with innuendo, the more naturally that process unfolds.
Yeah... a professional, skilled flirt is definitely not the kind of woman I want to date and maybe eventually marry. Being skilled with innuendo is probably also not a good sign. :rolleyes:
 

Zan

Member
Mar 15, 2019
57
73
18
#85
I didn't make the rules of the game. I'm just telling you how it works as a person with a background in studying human behavior. If you don't like it, don't flirt with people.
 

Zan

Member
Mar 15, 2019
57
73
18
#87
It is just about dropping hints. There's nothing sinister about letting someone know you like them unless you are actively trying to sabotage relationships or otherwise cause chaos.
 
Dec 29, 2018
74
40
18
#88
So I've been watching The Bachelor this season. I know I know...it's not the best thing for me to watch but it's so dramatic and juicy! :p Anyways, this season there was no sex involved. So I don't think it's been inappropriate. The bachelor is a virgin this time. For those of you not familiar with the show. The bachelor starts off with about 30 women and each week he dates a few of them at a time and picks some that he wants to send home. At the end of the season, he has three women left. He goes on three home town dates. This is where each woman takes him home to meet her family. The last three women were Tayshia, Hannah, and Cassie. Both Tayshia's and Hannah's families were welcoming and gave Colton the bachelor their blessing. Cassie's dad, however, did not. He explicitly said he couldn't because he didn't see how Colton could love his daughter with 2 other women involved.

A little later, Cassie breaks up with Colton herself. This usually doesn't happen. The bachelor is the one who sends the women home. Colton was shocked. He said he loves Cassie the most and he doesn't want to continue the show. So he quit. He left Tayshia and Hannah to try to win over Cassie! :eek::eek::eek: What's crazy is that Tayshia and Hannah are both beautiful and sweet women who clearly love Colton dearly. But...he chooses Cassie. Cassie has already broken up with him! I just don't get it. lol Anyways, today we will find out if Cassie accepts Colton and gives him another chance. I gotta say I can't wait for all that to unfold. If ya'll want, I'll let you know what she chooses tonight.

But that's not the topic of this thread...what I'm getting at is this. Do men prefer women who don't show them they like them too much? Cassie has never told Colton that she loves him. He has been shown wondering why she doesn't love him back or why she doesn't say it back.
My grandma used to say "the more love you show a man, the more disrespect you receive from him." I never really understood that until now. Colton couldn't case less about hurting the other two women. All he wants is Cassie who already left him!

And it's not just Colton and Cassie I'm talking about here. Men claim to want women to chase after them, but the few times I have chased guys they react very negatively. Maybe I'm just ugly or something but why is this? There were two men who clearly showed interest in me and when I told them I was into them, they backed off. Why is this? Can certain men not handle women who know what they want? Or do they really like the chase and the mystery of not knowing?

Do you ladies have any stories or points you would like to make regarding this topic? Have you chased a guy before and how did it end up?
Men, do you prefer women to chase you? Have you found that only unattractive women chase you? Do the women you really like not chase you? (This is something my brother has told me.)

I'm not trying to lump all men into a single group. Obviously some men don't want women to chase them and some do. But I would like to see what ya'll have to say about this. Just to have a general idea of what men want. Thanks!:D
For me, if the gal is "chasing" then she is trying to lead. IE: opposite the Biblical model in a marriage. Therefore if she gets too comfortable leading and the guy backs off on his God given role now you have a relationship outside the Biblical model. And a marriage that will spend a majority of it's time trying to overcome the role inversion and one that will probably end in divorce. Marriage is difficult enough when the roles are done proper, I see no reason to make it any more difficult.

Please look through a Biblical worldview when it comes to God's design for marriage. Trying to view relationships as Hollywood does WILL mess a person up for life.
 

Zan

Member
Mar 15, 2019
57
73
18
#89
Definitely don't base your ideas of relationships around tv shows. They are orchestrated for drama and entertainment. Successful relationships in real life aren't based off that.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,905
8,162
113
#90
I didn't make the rules of the game. I'm just telling you how it works as a person with a background in studying human behavior. If you don't like it, don't flirt with people.
See, that's what I am avoiding. When you make it a game with rules, winning and losing conditions and strategies... It's too adversarial. If I wanted to compete for a girl I'd go live in a family of apes.

 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#91
I think even women prefer for men to chase them. I don't think most women want to be chasing after a man. The question is...what exactly is chasing?
Is it...
Flirting?
Calling first?
Texting first?
Introducing yourself to him?
Adding him on any social media platforms?
I personally think all of these are chasing...but I'm curious to know what ya'll think. What is chasing to you?
And I mean these are chasing if you are into the guy already. Obviously, if you don't like him as more than a friend texting him first doesn't really make it chasing. Right? LOL
 

Zan

Member
Mar 15, 2019
57
73
18
#92
I don't think it's very worthwhile to split hairs on what defines chasing, if you know you want someone and you are willing to compromise your integrity to get them, that's probably where the line is crossed.

Really, it's much simpler to just be upfront with people and not worry about it. You know when you're crossing lines.

IMO, it's mostly a pride thing. People who get rejected sometimes let it go to their heads, and flirting is a way of indicating interest without taking risks to ego.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,894
113
#93
So I've been watching The Bachelor this season. I know I know...it's not the best thing for me to watch but it's so dramatic and juicy! :p Anyways, this season there was no sex involved. So I don't think it's been inappropriate. The bachelor is a virgin this time. For those of you not familiar with the show. The bachelor starts off with about 30 women and each week he dates a few of them at a time and picks some that he wants to send home. At the end of the season, he has three women left. He goes on three home town dates. This is where each woman takes him home to meet her family. The last three women were Tayshia, Hannah, and Cassie. Both Tayshia's and Hannah's families were welcoming and gave Colton the bachelor their blessing. Cassie's dad, however, did not. He explicitly said he couldn't because he didn't see how Colton could love his daughter with 2 other women involved.

A little later, Cassie breaks up with Colton herself. This usually doesn't happen. The bachelor is the one who sends the women home. Colton was shocked. He said he loves Cassie the most and he doesn't want to continue the show. So he quit. He left Tayshia and Hannah to try to win over Cassie! :eek::eek::eek: What's crazy is that Tayshia and Hannah are both beautiful and sweet women who clearly love Colton dearly. But...he chooses Cassie. Cassie has already broken up with him! I just don't get it. lol Anyways, today we will find out if Cassie accepts Colton and gives him another chance. I gotta say I can't wait for all that to unfold. If ya'll want, I'll let you know what she chooses tonight.

But that's not the topic of this thread...what I'm getting at is this. Do men prefer women who don't show them they like them too much? Cassie has never told Colton that she loves him. He has been shown wondering why she doesn't love him back or why she doesn't say it back.
My grandma used to say "the more love you show a man, the more disrespect you receive from him." I never really understood that until now. Colton couldn't case less about hurting the other two women. All he wants is Cassie who already left him!

And it's not just Colton and Cassie I'm talking about here. Men claim to want women to chase after them, but the few times I have chased guys they react very negatively. Maybe I'm just ugly or something but why is this? There were two men who clearly showed interest in me and when I told them I was into them, they backed off. Why is this? Can certain men not handle women who know what they want? Or do they really like the chase and the mystery of not knowing?

Do you ladies have any stories or points you would like to make regarding this topic? Have you chased a guy before and how did it end up?
Men, do you prefer women to chase you? Have you found that only unattractive women chase you? Do the women you really like not chase you? (This is something my brother has told me.)

I'm not trying to lump all men into a single group. Obviously some men don't want women to chase them and some do. But I would like to see what ya'll have to say about this. Just to have a general idea of what men want. Thanks!:D
I prefer to be chased, but in saying that, I won’t play hard to get either. When you reach my ol age, ain’t nobody got time for dat 😂

Either you like me or you don’t - make it clear and if we’re on the same level, then you’ll know.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#94
I prefer to be chased, but in saying that, I won’t play hard to get either. When you reach my ol age, ain’t nobody got time for dat 😂

Either you like me or you don’t - make it clear and if we’re on the same level, then you’ll know.
Those rom coms really has messed up relationships and flirting. It’s like the norm is playing hard to get for a decade or three and when the sweet little thing finally decides to go all in, the suitor has married someone else like 15 years ago...lol.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,099
113
#95
Ok, so there's the problem for me. Hints, flirty suggestions, skilled innuendo, etc. I'm not skilled at flirting because it seems pretentious and dishonest to me personally. Perhaps it's meant to be a game of cat and mouse and I just don't understand the rules. I mean after all, seems most people here find it acceptable to flirt and hint around. I'm just not one of them. Maybe I'm a weirdo. I don't wanna play with someone's emotions by flirting nor do I want someone to toy with me with suggestive innuendo.

Are you flirting with me?......


Just kidding!!!!
 

Odelschwanck

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2015
380
102
43
#96
I'm shy, easily deterred, and have no idea whatsoever on how to pursue a woman. On the other hand I don't know how a woman would pursue a man correctly either.

Do men prefer women who don't show them they like them too much?
I would assume she doesn't like me too much.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,099
113
#97
A little off-topic maybe, but why is it that-when I'm not trying to chase a woman-I've suddenly got a half dozen interested in Me? I'm not talking about any here, but out in the world.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,099
113
#98
A little off-topic maybe, but why is it that-when I'm not trying to chase a woman-I've suddenly got a half dozen interested in Me? I'm not talking about any here, but out in the world.
And I don't know why that 'me' up there got capitalized-I didn't do that!