How do we withstand Loneliness?

Jesus was lonely and familiar with grief. Our precious Lord had no place to lay His head. He understands our situation and cares.

Since my husband passed away, I no longer have my earthly companion to go on all the adventures we once did. It can be heartbreaking if I allow myself to dwell on that. However, the Lord Jesus has become more than my Companion, He is LIFE to me: my joy, my peace, my fellowship, my rest. Christ Jesus is teaching me to reach out to others who may be lonely and I'm compelled to talk to people wherever I go. For me, walking closely with Jesus while focusing on others is freedom from loneliness.

Jesus was lonely and familiar with grief. Our precious Lord had no place to lay His head. He understands our situation and cares.

Since my husband passed away, I no longer have my earthly companion to go on all the adventures we once did. It can be heartbreaking if I allow myself to dwell on that. However, the Lord Jesus has become more than my Companion, He is LIFE to me: my joy, my peace, my fellowship, my rest. Christ Jesus is teaching me to reach out to others who may be lonely and I'm compelled to talk to people wherever I go. For me, walking closely with Jesus while focusing on others is freedom from loneliness.

Get back to me when you've been on Lockdown 23 hours a day, one hour outside in a box.
FOR A DECADE.

Now thats loneliness

Not to make anyone feel bad, but just saying, IT COULD BE WORSE. If you are free as a bird in the sky, you can open the door at any time and go to church, find a hobby, talk to random people in the bus stop, streets, coffee shop, wherever!

Thats the way to get out of loneliness, however your answer to HOW to withstand loneliness if you cant get out of it or dont want to:

Out of experience: Work out, pray a lot, read the Bible, go outside for walks(if you can), try to think that nothing lasts forever and you'll get through it. Learn to empty your mind if you feel like thoughts start to give you anxiety. Its a good skill to learn in life anyway!

I really feel for you brother. I know what its like a bit.
Almost 5 years ago my wife decided she didn't want to be married to me anymore and so we separated and then divorced.
My children were still young, 6, 7 and 10.
Emotionally I wanted to run to mum to 'make it all better', to free me from the pain.
For the first 6 months I walked between 5 and 10 miles every single day, I think to try to keep my mind off it.
I felt so very, very frustrated that because my wife 'said so' I could no longer be a 'proper' dad to my children.
And time after time, until about 6 months ago maybe, I often felt utterly crushed by loneliness. I have no friends, I rarely see any family apart from my mum (although I can see my children whenever time and money allows), I have no car, I live in a little flat, I have no savings and live pay-check to pay-check. I have lost count of the number of times I have thought about ways to kill myself. Thankfully those thoughts seem to be gone altogether now.
And now I feel like I have peace with these things.
I am sure God Loves me and knows what He is doing, and must know that enduring great pain sometimes is important for our growth in Love.
I'm sure He Loves you too, and no-one falls off His radar.
Keeping as busy as I could was the biggest help. I would play Minecraft for 5 and 6 hours at a time. And I learned and played free poker on the internet for hours on end because it meant, although I was alone in my flat, I was virtually sat at a table with 8 or 9 other real people. I wish I'd discovered this web-site sooner too!
Do the best you can to look after yourself properly - diet, fresh-air, get out and about, etc.
And, of course, do what you can to keep your flame of faith burning bright.

One day at a time, brother.

Sorry to hear of your circumstances. I am happy you found ways to handle your forced quiet time. Please understand that I’m not being critical but you mentioned playing several hours of online gaming and time infront of a screen playing poker. Is it possible this time could have been utilized more productively doing free online courses studying things that interest you. There are many ways to monetize our passions, or change careers to improve our situations. After almost two decades in culinary, I started an apprenticeship in plumbing. After the first year of working both jobs I could finally let one go. Then as a second year apprentice I was earning more money than I did as a chef. After four years I doubled my annual salary. Many people start websites, YouTube channels, or small businesses and do better financially than expected. My daughters friend makes six figures videoing himself play video games with his buddies. It’s your time, do what you want. I’m glad you came to CC finally. I was just trying to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone in an attempt to improve your situation. We don’t always get to choose what happens to us, but we can choose how it will define us. Even if you wrote one page a day, at the end of the year you would have a book. Be blessed brother.

Thank you so much for your kindness in taking the time to consider these things and write this for me.
I'm sure God put it in your heart to write it and is speaking to me through your words here.
For a week or two now I have felt the Holy Spirit urging me to bring order to my life, but, so far, I haven't really made the effort I need to to achieve that. Ironically I think its because I feel so close to God at the moment that I'm just bumbling along care-free in my mild chaos, full of peace and joy.
It will take me a little time to absorb all your words but I think right now I will purpose to make at least some progress towards that order each day, starting today.
Thanks again, brother.

used to feel lonely when I was alone; now I enjoy the solitude of being alone. Also, when I'm alone, that's when I have my best conversations with God.

The best way to withstand loneliness is to hang around people who drive you nuts. Marry someone who's a habitual complainer, hang with people who require constant help, make friends with needy people who use you, surround yourself with high maintenance people who take responsibility for nothing., etc etc.... After you deal with enough self-centered and selfish people who use, control, abuse, and exploit you, loneliness is not so much something you withstand, but something you take solace in.

A friend of mine was happy but lonely, he got married, and now he's miserable and misses being alone

The best way to withstand loneliness is to hang around people who drive you nuts. Marry someone who's a habitual complainer, hang with people who require constant help, make friends with needy people who use you, surround yourself with high maintenance people who take responsibility for nothing., etc etc.... After you deal with enough self-centered and selfish people who use, control, abuse, and exploit you, loneliness is not so much something you withstand, but something you take solace in.

A friend of mine was happy but lonely, he got married, and now he's miserable and misses being alone

The best way to withstand loneliness is to hang around people who drive you nuts. Marry someone who's a habitual complainer, hang with people who require constant help, make friends with needy people who use you, surround yourself with high maintenance people who take responsibility for nothing., etc etc.... After you deal with enough self-centered and selfish people who use, control, abuse, and exploit you, loneliness is not so much something you withstand, but something you take solace in.

A friend of mine was happy but lonely, he got married, and now he's miserable and misses being alone

Loneliness is a challenge someone of us face daily, especially single parents, single men and womeb. How can we overcome loneliness?

There was a baby who could not crawl, walk or run. The mother took the baby and set the baby up. The mother repeated this step every morning until the baby turned into a toddler. Eventually, the toddler leaned forward and tried to crawl but fell back down. With loving arms the mother help the toddler back up to crawl. Still falling, feeling alone and afraid, the toddler would cry until one day the toddler giggled because the toddler could now crawl on the floor. Next the mother stood in front of the toddler and help the toddler stand while the mother was taking steps back, holding onto the toddler's hands. Eventually the mother let go of the toddler's hands and the toddler would fall on the floor and cry. The mother repeated this step everyday until the toddler would start to get back up. The toddler would cry every single time as the toddler would take a couple steps towards the mother. The toddler was sad that the mother kept stepping back every time the toddler wanted to walk towards her. It made the toddler feel sad longing for the mother. Then one day the toddler did not fall and continued stepping towards the mother and the mother stepped back again but this time the toddler did not fall. Days went by and the toddler kept trying to walk towards the mother. Suddenly one day as the toddler was walking towards the mother and the mother was stepping back the toddler started to run towards the mother and the mother stopped stepping back. The child ran into the mother's arms and the mother embrace the child with such Joy and picked up the child. The moral of the story is this; the mother purposely step back and let the child fall in her presence because she wanted to help the child to learn and grow. Feeling alone, is not always a bad thing. We serve a jealous, just, and righteous God who demands our attention. Sometimes God purposely steps back so we will run to Him. He never leaves even when we cannot feel Him and He is always there. We are never alone. The mother was always there with the toddler. The mother loved the child more than anything and God loves us more than anything. If you feel alone, start running towards God instead of crawling and walking towards Him. He wants to take the place where you are at in your loneliness and take you to a different level. He desires to draw you closer to Him because He loves you enough to grow you. He cannot bless you in the abundant joys of His heart when you do not draw closer into Him. Step out of the nest where you feel safe from harm and feel guarded because you are no longer a baby bird. Be brave, Mount your wings, fear not, and soar like a Eagle to Your Heavenly Father. Trust in the true power of your Almighty God.

There was a baby who could not crawl, walk or run. The mother took the baby and set the baby up. The mother repeated this step every morning until the baby turned into a toddler. Eventually, the toddler leaned forward and tried to crawl but fell back down. With loving arms the mother help the toddler back up to crawl. Still falling, feeling alone and afraid, the toddler would cry until one day the toddler giggled because the toddler could now crawl on the floor. Next the mother stood in front of the toddler and help the toddler stand while the mother was taking steps back, holding onto the toddler's hands. Eventually the mother let go of the toddler's hands and the toddler would fall on the floor and cry. The mother repeated this step everyday until the toddler would start to get back up. The toddler would cry every single time as the toddler would take a couple steps towards the mother. The toddler was sad that the mother kept stepping back every time the toddler wanted to walk towards her. It made the toddler feel sad longing for the mother. Then one day the toddler did not fall and continued stepping towards the mother and the mother stepped back again but this time the toddler did not fall. Days went by and the toddler kept trying to walk towards the mother. Suddenly one day as the toddler was walking towards the mother and the mother was stepping back the toddler started to run towards the mother and the mother stopped stepping back. The child ran into the mother's arms and the mother embrace the child with such Joy and picked up the child. The moral of the story is this; the mother purposely step back and let the child fall in her presence because she wanted to help the child to learn and grow. Feeling alone, is not always a bad thing. We serve a jealous, just, and righteous God who demands our attention. Sometimes God purposely steps back so we will run to Him. He never leaves even when we cannot feel Him and He is always there. We are never alone. The mother was always there with the toddler. The mother loved the child more than anything and God loves us more than anything. If you feel alone, start running towards God instead of crawling and walking towards Him. He wants to take the place where you are at in your loneliness and take you to a different level. He desires to draw you closer to Him because He loves you enough to grow you. He cannot bless you in the abundant joys of His heart when you do not draw closer into Him. Step out of the nest where you feel safe from harm and feel guarded because you are no longer a baby bird. Be brave, Mount your wings, fear not, and soar like a Eagle to Your Heavenly Father. Trust in the true power of your Almighty God.

Loneliness is a challenge someone of us face daily, especially single parents, single men and womeb. How can we overcome loneliness?