With or without popcorn...

Why is kind, supportive, warm and hospitable considered phony, weak or boring? I don't think they are. I find peace, joy and kindness quite thrilling.


We folks tend to love those popcorn drama filled conversations. They leave you wanting more. Um nooooo... ok sometime, lol, maybe a little to a lot, snickers. My favorite approach is articulate, wise and witty. Shoot though, my funny and clever hats are some times elusively worn, just not as readily available like with some of you. Let's be real, my hat is more the awkward pippy long stocking variety, lol. Seriously though, funny people are priceless. You have no idea how much I appreciate you


Now back to the point I was trying to make. Come on now, be honest? Do warm and sweet peeps get on your nerves? If so, up yours!!! Hahaha...jkidding, sorta, lol.


Well, not to say we should be so gosh darn agreeable and sappy that truth and fun healthy debate are watered down. However, it is possible to be real, sincere, polite, considerate and kind too, you know? I prefer seeing the strengths in people; don't you appreciate when folks do that with you? I mean no one appreciates anyone assuming the worst about them, right? After all, we are family in Christ.

I guess it is about balance, though, because there are a couple here (you know who you are) and elsewhere too...that well, they are more... hmmm, how do I put this?

They are ornery and direct, bordering on critical. I find there is place for that kind of personality too. They teach me patience, haha, jk. I really do learn from their own brand of wisdom and directness, especially if they also accept me for me, even if it is very different from them. My kind can ugh them, and their kind me. However, I value when I can come back at them and say, "hey what's up with that, dang you, and could you explain this"? I find they are often tolerant and helpful, bridging the gap, Praise the Lord!! So yeah, again, I guess it is about balance.

I just think it cool when ppl, with so many different personalities, can come together and tolerate each other, even come to appreciate the coolness that come with the differences. I still especially appreciate kind and merciful ppl, though, who make me laugh.

With popcorn!

Extra butter and salt!

And don't sit in my seat!

Kind, supportive, warm and hospitable are considered phony, weak or boring in much the same way that comfort and security are considered boring and stodgy.

Kind of like cheap chocolate and good chocolate. Something like that...

Hmmm true, lacking any spice. I appreciate how i learn new words with you. Today twice, stodgy and vituperation. I will be using both. I wonder...do u get the opportunity to use the word vituperation outside of writing? I just youtubed how to pronounce it, lol.

Very profound, or just... yes good chocolate, please, and popcorn.

This thread made me hungry, so I made some popcorn!

Popcorn with real butter and a shake of nutritional yeast!
Maybe a some of Zesty Doritos on top!

haha...yummy, you all are so fun.

Waits for the show to start, lol.

As a serious answer to your question, CharliRenee...

I have been around people before who absolutely hated and mocked people who were sweet and kind.

But then I found out that it was because of something like being raised by a parent who had bipolar disorder, or maybe they had been abused from childhood, and the only time anyone ever said something nice to them was when they took advantage of them.

People form strong associations with the things that have caused them deep pain. I once read about a middle-aged man who had been abused by the a pastor when he was a child. Whenever the pastor abused him, he wore a glittering silver cross, so whenever this man (the grown victim) saw the symbol of a cross, he wasn't thinking about God's love or salvation. He was thinking of how a supposed man of God had used his position to repeatedly harm him, and that the church, and in his eyes, God, had failed to protect him.

He didn't associate the cross with grace or love or mercy - he saw it as a symbol of power and abuse.

I believe kindness can be perceived in a similar way. Maybe the people who seem repulsed by it have had a very bad history with the wrong people who tried to show it to them for their own gain. If someone told them, "Hey sweetie, how was YOUR day?" and then took them aside and abused them, they might be very hateful towards anyone who tried to show them any kind of concern.

I know this is kind of a simplified explanation and isn't really much of a help , but I know that sometimes if I have a glimpse as to why someone is reacting in a certain manner, it helps me to endure their reactions with a bit more patience.

I'm not saying that this is always the reason behind it, but sometimes it at least helps me to better know how to pray for people.

Wow, thanks for taking the time. Ultimately Kim, you are right, hurt people hurt ppl.

Confession alert...

like my daughter said to me, "Mama, you are just as guilty of judging ppl who are less expressive, as you think ppl who judge you for being expressive are". Dang it, but she is right. So this helps reminds me to get a glimpse of understanding and tolerance, perhaps even a bit of humbling too, sis. I am always talking about loving regardless the return, but I still have a hard time with those nice words in application. So I take these words in and try to be a little more mindful and more heartful.

It is heartbreaking thinking about children hurting.

I use it whenever the situation fits. I grew up with a mother who is an avid reader and I was reading by about age 3.5 so... I don't try to show off my vocabulary, it's just how I talk. I think Mom taught me how to read that early out of desperation, so I would stop bugging her to read books to me.

And exactly, lacking any spice. Also we are inherently suspicious of anything that is too good to be true. I gave a cow*rker a smartphone one time because I had switched to a different phone company and the phone was now useless to me and he needed one, and he asked multiple times if I was really just giving it to him. I don't think anybody had ever given him anything before. Well it was logical, I mean I didn't have any use for it and he needed it...

Also some people are just jerks and they want to be able to be jerks without looking bad in comparison to nice people, so they find fault with nice people whenever they can. I know a few like that.

And then there are some people like what seoulsearch said.

Some people respond to somebody doing good by trying to figure out a reason why they are not as good as they seem. But there IS a better way, and it involves zero arguments!

I walk right past the popcorn machines and go straight for the pick n mix! (I hope that's not just an English thing!)

Goodness gracious.

I hate to sound like an ignorant American, but what in the world is Pick'n'Mix?

It sounds like something we are definitely missing out on!

Pick n’ Mix is being able to pick chocolate/confectionary and candy to be in a placed in a bag to be scanned at the check out.

It’s definitely a treat!

Some grocery stores have big candy displays like that, where you put your selections in a big bag and they weigh it at the counter. Brach's is a popular brand of candy for pick-n-mix. I'm not too fond of their candies though.