Letting Go

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love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
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823
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#1
Why is it so hard letting go of something when you know it’s the right thing to do?

This could be relationships, habits, or even our own ideals.

It’s quite possible that this is a personality trait and not something that everyone struggles with, but I find it to be so darn challenging at times.

Have there been things in your life that have been hard to let go of even when you know it’s the right thing? Feel free to share your story.

How do you personally let go of things?

Do you find it gets easier with time?

Anything relating to this in scripture?

Thanks for sharing! :):)
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,502
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#2
One relevant Scripture verse comes to mind: 1 Corinthians 13:11.
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
1,139
773
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#3
This makes me think of Romans 7:14-25.

Yes. There are lots of things. Some of them I need help with from others.

And yes, "I find it to be so darn challenging at times" too.
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
1,139
773
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#4
And then it makes me think of that stupid song from "Frozen".🤪

Sorry, it's just the title of the thread.

Anyway....
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
#5
Great thread. Keeping it real...

Letting go is a process for me. I need His help. I usually overthink, seek counsel, and make it much harder than it needs to be before I finally let go. Sometimes, I'll pick it back up again and then lay it back down. Two areas where letting go has been extra necessary, once and for all, are with guilt and shame from my past and ppl pleasing (both centered on insecurities that need/needed to be shed). They both have been glitches in my character that kept me from being the witness and ambassador for Him that we are called. His patience, His guidance and His mercy have been my saving grace. He helps me to focus on trusting Him and His victory more than myself (embarrassing to admit). Again though, usually it is a process. Praise His Holy Name, for His help.

Proverbs 4:25-27 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

2. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

3. Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
 

noblenut

Junior Member
Nov 29, 2017
265
90
28
#6
Why is it so hard letting go of something when you know it’s the right thing to do?

This could be relationships, habits, or even our own ideals.

It’s quite possible that this is a personality trait and not something that everyone struggles with, but I find it to be so darn challenging at times.

Have there been things in your life that have been hard to let go of even when you know it’s the right thing? Feel free to share your story.

How do you personally let go of things?

Do you find it gets easier with time?

Anything relating to this in scripture?

Thanks for sharing! :):)
i have struggle with a certain sin most of my life, i realized recently that it was just a compulsion, as paul points out in romans when he talks about the sin he does not want to do, i have recently made a concerted effort not to do it and so far so good.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,460
9,432
113
#7
You gotta want to let go first. And usually you don't want to let something go until you get tired of all the crap it brings.

A drunk who wants to be a drunk finds it very hard to stop just because people tell him he should. But when he finally gets fed up with all the problems it causes in his life, THEN he can put it down. Same with drugs, stealing, lying, gossiping, sleeping around... all the things we know we're not supposed to do but we want to do them anyway.

The best way to stop doing something you know is wrong is to make yourself thoroughly aware of why it is wrong and all the detriments. The biggest lie the devil ever told us was that we could do what is wrong and somehow dodge all the crap the wrong action brings. Once we are aware of the downsides, and that we cannot in fact dodge them, we find it easier to let wrong things go.
 

Poinsetta

Well-known member
Nov 24, 2018
10,649
6,220
113
34
#8
You gotta want to let go first. And usually you don't want to let something go until you get tired of all the crap it brings.

A drunk who wants to be a drunk finds it very hard to stop just because people tell him he should. But when he finally gets fed up with all the problems it causes in his life, THEN he can put it down. Same with drugs, stealing, lying, gossiping, sleeping around... all the things we know we're not supposed to do but we want to do them anyway.

The best way to stop doing something you know is wrong is to make yourself thoroughly aware of why it is wrong and all the detriments. The biggest lie the devil ever told us was that we could do what is wrong and somehow dodge all the crap the wrong action brings. Once we are aware of the downsides, and that we cannot in fact dodge them, we find it easier to let wrong things go.
Word. And someone make a post please.
 

Odelschwanck

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2015
380
102
43
#11
Yes. In my case it's hard to give up the bad way when the good way seems so out of reach and is technically out of my control anyway.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#12
Thank you all so much for sharing! This has been something I've thought about off and on throughout the year. I know we definitely need the Lord to overcome certain things. I enjoyed reading the scriptures.

I was so blessed this morning because I was able to read some of the posts and when I turned the music on, on the way to work (something I rarely do) the perfect song was playing. God is so good!!

This was the song: "Counting Every Blessing"

Letting go is necessary and trusting the Lord in that, though it may be challenging, will get us through.

I need to keep His blessings at the forefront of my mind.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#13
Yes. In my case it's hard to give up the bad way when the good way seems so out of reach and is technically out of my control anyway.
God is good and though it seems so out of reach, it is very possible. I pray that you are able to get there.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#14
You gotta want to let go first. And usually you don't want to let something go until you get tired of all the crap it brings.

A drunk who wants to be a drunk finds it very hard to stop just because people tell him he should. But when he finally gets fed up with all the problems it causes in his life, THEN he can put it down. Same with drugs, stealing, lying, gossiping, sleeping around... all the things we know we're not supposed to do but we want to do them anyway.

The best way to stop doing something you know is wrong is to make yourself thoroughly aware of why it is wrong and all the detriments. The biggest lie the devil ever told us was that we could do what is wrong and somehow dodge all the crap the wrong action brings. Once we are aware of the downsides, and that we cannot in fact dodge them, we find it easier to let wrong things go.

This is so true and you put it so nicely. We really do need to want it. I have some close family members that have struggled with drug addiction for many years now and as a family we know that we can only do so much and help so much because in the end if they don't want to change, it's unlikely that they will be able to let it go.

I do believe that the Lord does and can intervene in some cases.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#15
God is good and though it seems so out of reach, it is very possible. I pray that you are able to get there.
Yes. In my case it's hard to give up the bad way when the good way seems so out of reach and is technically out of my control anyway.
In all deference to the OP, the concept of "let go and let God" is probably the most frustrating piece of advice Christians get. What does it mean? What does it mean to let go?

I can think of no better example than Hannah (prettiest name on earth, I think) praying and begging God to let her have a son. She wanted nothing more. This would be the thing that made her life complete and she pleaded with God. God granted her wish and as soon as the child conceived and was weaned, Hannah brought that little boy to the temple and "lent" him to the Lord God. Forevermore and /or so long as the Lord wished his presence.

The word "lent" was pretty fascinating to me because it implied there's still "ownership" of the relinquishment or the thing we're letting go. The thing is still a part of the person. So, the act of letting go is that of sacrifice - a thing a person wants, sometimes with immeasurable desire. It's a sacrifice as sure as the bull and the flour Hannah also brought to the temple the day she gave her son. And she named her son Samuel. 1Samuel 1:27-28.

So, Oldelschwanck - when you might give someone up to God, it's not the same as giving up on that someone. You're still loving that person, you're still fulfilling your responsibilities to them, but you're not abandoning them. The same with a habit, the same with an idol. In a way...... you become a kind of "A Beautiful Mind".
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,460
9,432
113
#16
Thank you all so much for sharing! This has been something I've thought about off and on throughout the year. I know we definitely need the Lord to overcome certain things. I enjoyed reading the scriptures.

I was so blessed this morning because I was able to read some of the posts and when I turned the music on, on the way to work (something I rarely do) the perfect song was playing. God is so good!!

This was the song: "Counting Every Blessing"

Letting go is necessary and trusting the Lord in that, though it may be challenging, will get us through.

I need to keep His blessings at the forefront of my mind.
My music nerd brain requires me to recommend Josh Wilson to you. Also Ben Glover, Mitchel Jon (yes Jon is his last name) and Cory Lamb. I think you'll like all those singers.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#17
My music nerd brain requires me to recommend Josh Wilson to you. Also Ben Glover, Mitchel Jon (yes Jon is his last name) and Cory Lamb. I think you'll like all those singers.
Thanks 🙂 I will look them up. It’s quite possible I’ve heard some of their music and wouldn’t connect it to a name. We shall see 🙂
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
436
679
93
31
South Carolina
#18
I’ve came back to this thread several times. Why is it so hard to let go ? I wish I knew the answer. I think it’s different for everyone. Mine is a relationship that ended. For me to let go means letting go of the hopes and dreams of where I thought we would be.
It’s sure changed me and who I am. I practically live like a hermit now. I’m afraid to let anyone get too close.

It’s been six months and slowly getting less painful. I don’t think I will ever understand the why and I know that I will continue to pray. God knows his plans for me. I’m earnestly trying to trust and have faith.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#19
I’ve came back to this thread several times. Why is it so hard to let go ? I wish I knew the answer. I think it’s different for everyone. Mine is a relationship that ended. For me to let go means letting go of the hopes and dreams of where I thought we would be.
It’s sure changed me and who I am. I practically live like a hermit now. I’m afraid to let anyone get too close.

It’s been six months and slowly getting less painful. I don’t think I will ever understand the why and I know that I will continue to pray. God knows his plans for me. I’m earnestly trying to trust and have faith.
I'm sorry, Ellorah. This was painful to read and I'm sorry your relationship ended. A very wise man - a mentor, really - told me once that God was much less likely to help me with my own pathway in life, but would help with abundance with His own. So, I think in your case, letting go might mean your hopes and dreams are still very much intact, remembering God plotted your course before you were born.

So, I'll pray your 'hermit lifestyle' will run its own course and your fears subside. You seem like a person whose light should never be covered.
 

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#20
This is something I have had to exercise over and over again as I have worked through the aftermath of an unhealthy relationship a few years ago where I had to let someone go, and then worked through falling into unhealthy coping mechanisms and eventually letting those go. It is such a great thing to mull over because we all go through it in one way or another.

As I was dealing with breakup stuff, I had happened to 'like' Henry Cloud's Facebook page, and so I would occasionally see things that he would post, and each time they were things that hit me in a way I had never thought about and brought such healthy guidance to my situation. One of those posts that I came across talked about how, in circumstances where things didn't go the way we wanted and we are needing to work on letting go, we are often prone to sitting there and just wishing that things were different and lamenting that they aren't how we want them to be. He wrote that one of the first steps in moving on is just to work on accepting reality for what it is and considering how to make the best of it. Over time that was really helpful for me.

Emotions are a powerful thing that we experience, but oftentimes they lead us astray, and I think especially in cases like mine where romance with another person was involved, our emotions can try to pull us so strongly in the wrong direction sometimes. What I have learned is how important it is to stay grounded in truth, to keep preaching it to ourselves. Emotions can kind of entrap us sometimes and get us stuck, but the truth sets us free.