DEPRESSION

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Amorette

Amorette

Member
#1
Oct 2, 2019
43
25
8
#1

I wrote this in deep depression when I was in a mall for an outing with my family. I am a sufferer of depression, being diagnosed of it this year.
Here in a crowded mall, I am restless
The world seems fine
They all are looking forward to something
Yea, that's good, just that I cannot relate
I cannot describe this feeling except to say that it is suffocating me inside
Be positive, be positive, yea am trying
It's not so easy
I guess I understand the desire to quit in Chester, the leader of a much loved band
He laughed and smiled during the carpool karaoke just 6 days before his death
So have I laughed without giving them a hint
This feeling is such that it tells you that 'no one' understands it, you are alone
And just to quit this torture, you are willing to do anything
I have no access to drugs or alcohol,
Yet even if I procure it from somewhere, am not surrounded by people who will understand or use me decently when am under its influence, so i have thought of my death somehow
Yet, as NF puts it "am scared to live but am scared to die"
Am surrounded from all sides
It feels like 'checkmate'
Since I hate the idea of suicide, I don't forget to pray for my death which I still await

Note : I would like to add that today I don't feel this way, that was me speaking in a peak phase of depression, I am more hopeful now and I am fighting it ​
 
Pemican

Pemican

Senior Member
#2
Sep 27, 2014
954
234
43
#2
A few verses that I have found helpful in depression:

Psa 27:13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

Psa 34:18-19 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.

Psa 42:11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

I'm not trying to be nosy but could you tell us a little about yourself? How old are you? What has your doctor recommended?
I am praying for you now.
 
Amorette

Amorette

Member
#3
Oct 2, 2019
43
25
8
#3
Pemican said:
A few verses that I have found helpful in depression:

Psa 27:13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

Psa 34:18-19 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.

Psa 42:11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

I'm not trying to be nosy but could you tell us a little about yourself? How old are you? What has your doctor recommended?
I am praying for you now.
Click to expand...
I am a 22 year old medical student , from India. I had been having the symptoms of depression since about the past 3 years but was clinically diagnosed of it this year in January and have been on medications for it , also had few sessions of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) , I am having days of extreme depression and then again days that I feel far better.
As a Christian my journey has been filled with ups and downs. God has done great wonders in my life. I am so fed up again and again trying to understand some aspects of how to live a Christian life and taking other's opinions and advice on Christian living that I had almost given up on that. There are things about my beliefs that I can speak of and stuff, like I was baptised in 2016 and had been having profound faith in God since 2012 , but I will limit my post to my depression and how I am trying to fight it by many ways - sometimes reading the Bible, having that mustard seed faith in God that He has got all my concerns in His palms, reading self-help books, taking my medications regularly. Yea.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
Have you read my suicide and depression testimonies yet? If not, please do so. :)
 
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