Perseverance for my Son

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Aerials1978

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2019
1,707
986
113
#1
My son who is 15 and a Freshman wants to change schools because he is “Unhappy” being there. This really started with football and how he was not allotted much playing time. Of course this discouraged him, so we allowed him to quit.

The school he attends is a good school and he is doing well. Academically he is achieving and has some decent friends. For whatever reason he is under the impression that if he changes schools, his happiness will increase.

My ex-wife is under the same impression and is also wants him to change schools. I on the other hand believe if he cuts and runs now, he will be do that as an adult.

I know I’m going to get resistance. I am trying to be very accommodating with my ex-wife and I’m not quite sure how she is going to react to my “No” vote.

If conflict does arise, I need the Lord lead me. Am I too being adamant? I don’t think so, but I need some advice on how to handle the situation with my ex from people who may have faced a similar situation.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,034
1,472
113
#2
My grandson was 16, a freshman, and unhappy with school he was attending. I thought my daughter was crazy to let him drop out of high school and enroll in adult ed. In four months, he completed the high school requirements, graduated, and took his college entrance exams. A local company paid for his first two years of community college, and employed him as an apprentice industrial engineer while he attended college. He took his AA and landed an inspector job with a Systems Safety company.

After my dose of crow, I can see that there was much more with him being unhappy with his school than he was letting on to me. My advice is to let him change schools. Just make sure that the school he wants to attend has a program that meets his needs.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#3
My son who is 15 and a Freshman wants to change schools because he is “Unhappy” being there. This really started with football and how he was not allotted much playing time. Of course this discouraged him, so we allowed him to quit.

The school he attends is a good school and he is doing well. Academically he is achieving and has some decent friends. For whatever reason he is under the impression that if he changes schools, his happiness will increase.

My ex-wife is under the same impression and is also wants him to change schools. I on the other hand believe if he cuts and runs now, he will be do that as an adult.

I know I’m going to get resistance. I am trying to be very accommodating with my ex-wife and I’m not quite sure how she is going to react to my “No” vote.

If conflict does arise, I need the Lord lead me. Am I too being adamant? I don’t think so, but I need some advice on how to handle the situation with my ex from people who may have faced a similar situation.
I think you have made an excellent argument. My daughter is a 14 yr old freshmen and naturally the competition is going to be much greater. I believe what you are doing is going to build character. My advice is. Stick to your guns...
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#4
My son who is 15 and a Freshman wants to change schools because he is “Unhappy” being there. This really started with football and how he was not allotted much playing time. Of course this discouraged him, so we allowed him to quit.

The school he attends is a good school and he is doing well. Academically he is achieving and has some decent friends. For whatever reason he is under the impression that if he changes schools, his happiness will increase.

My ex-wife is under the same impression and is also wants him to change schools. I on the other hand believe if he cuts and runs now, he will be do that as an adult.

I know I’m going to get resistance. I am trying to be very accommodating with my ex-wife and I’m not quite sure how she is going to react to my “No” vote.

If conflict does arise, I need the Lord lead me. Am I too being adamant? I don’t think so, but I need some advice on how to handle the situation with my ex from people who may have faced a similar situation.
Hello. 🙂

I just want to tell about my own story. I am not a parent, so I am in No place to offer advice. But I believe this is probably a pretty big deal, and especially so for your son. School is a huge part of teenager's lives.

I was homeschooled after the fourth grade. It was by my fervent request. I cried with tears in pleading to be out of public school. I had several friends. My teacher was good. I was succeeding. But public school was distressing to me.

Fast forward a few years and I actually requested to give public school another try. So I went back the last semester of 8th grade. It went okay. But by the end of that summer I wanted to homeschool again. (Btw, two of my 8th grade teachers actually left their classrooms in tears because of the meanness/disrespect of the kids.) I found many of my peers troubling. So many children and teens are not raised in Christian homes and their words, and actions, and standards show for it. (Poor dears! ❤️) I truly believe public school can (and does in many situations) have a corrupting influence on young people (especially those from strong Christian homes). Our growing up years -even in the teenage years- are so tender and we can be misguided easily!

I feared my Father wasn't going to let me go back to homeschooling. He was a firm believer in public school, and especially his alma mater. My Mother and I begged him to let me homeschool. He finally agreed. I genuinely believe God made him allow me to homeschool. I am so grateful anyway.

Later on (crazy me!🤦🏻‍♀️) I went back to public school the beginning of 11th. That time I made it 6 weeks in public and had to quit. There was so much evil in that place. Some people may scoff when reading this. I am speaking in total honesty and sincerity of heart. When I was in that school building, my spirit was disturbed. It was oppressive. My teachers were wonderful! And I had some pretty good friends. But the sin I was surrounded by made me sick.

I graduated 12 grade homeschooling and got my diploma through a Christian organization. I am so grateful to God that my Dad permitted me to homeschool. I may have been a "quitter", but God protected me in my quitting. I can say with confidence it was God's will for me to get out of public school. I was able to use Christian curriculum and read a string of Christian books that did a lot of forming and molding me. Plus I got to spend more time in the safety and instruction of my family unit.

Some parents might say their kids need to learn how to be on their own, deal with bullies, and have the structered responsibility of going to school every day, etc. And for some children/teenagers perhaps that is the best thing! But for me, I assure you, it was not. And I was not stunted in my social growth/responsibility/education by my quitting public school. God has done just the opposite! 🙂

I know your decision isn't about public versus homeschool. But sometimes children (young and older) just need their parents to truly hear them out and sympathize. I am not saying you aren't doing this! And, granted, yes sometimes children need tough love too.

Perhaps it is best for him to stay where he is. I believe God knows and will guide you, Sir. Please do listen for His voice. I say this with humility. I will say a prayer that He gives you clear direction regarding your son's schooling. All the best!