Things To SAY On Your First Date

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1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#61
Sep 13, 2018
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#61
BenFTW said:
This is odd to me. You obviously want the other person to like you, but why not just be yourself? Be sincere in who you are. Of course you want to look dapper, or in the case of a woman beautiful, but this is something I myself had to realize by revelation of the Lord. There is no fear in love. You have to be you, and it’s okay to have opinions, it’s okay to be your authentic self and that other person by God’s providence will love you for you.

Putting your best foot forward shouldn’t be putting on a show or a mask; as if this is the wooing phase and you want them to like you, so you act courteous. You act respectful. You act mannerly. You act lady-like. You put on a facade and then once the knot is tied, you be your regular self and people are disappointed because the expectation they have of you is the “best foot forward” guy or gal you presented yourself as.

If putting your best foot forward was just putting yourself out there, think how such transparency would affect people. Flattery is not righteous, compliments are by the way ( for those saying they wouldn’t mind some flattery). Flattery is with a means in mind, the examples (of flattery) in God’s word do not seem to look positively on its use. A compliment, on the other hand, is sincere.
Yet even better than a compliment is encouragement.

I don’t know, I read your posts and this stuck out to me. Your best foot forward should be yourself. I get “dressing up” as it fits the occasion. But casual you or dressy you, is still you. Your character stays the same. Don’t play the part of gentleman if you do not walk daily as a gentleman. Consideration is a daily practice, a selfless inquiry to the needs and desires of another; not peacocking to attract a mate.

Be you.
Click to expand...
I get that " take it or leave it" attitude. But I've always been attracted to women that brought out the beast in me. Being around them made me want to be a better person. And hopefully, I for them. Is'nt that the type of person that you want be with?...
 
BenFTW

BenFTW

Senior Member
#62
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
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#62
1christian1 said:
I get that " take it or leave it" attitude. But I've always been attracted to women that brought out the beast in me. Being around them made me want to be a better person. And hopefully, I for them. Is'nt that the type of person that you want be with?...
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It’s not a take it or leave it attitude. It’s about authenticity. It’s not like “This is who I am!” For this perspective is stagnant, and inconsiderate. Dare I say, wounded.

And of course, when you find the person you love they do bring out the best in you because they have called you to love. The Bible defines love and in response to love, you wish to walk it out. Love gives and does not take. Love does no wrong, right? So most definitely love calls us to a higher standard. It brings out the best in us, because we love that person and love is done in thought, word, and deed.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#64
#64
BenFTW said:
This is odd to me. You obviously want the other person to like you, but why not just be yourself? Be sincere in who you are. Of course you want to look dapper, or in the case of a woman beautiful, but this is something I myself had to realize by revelation of the Lord. There is no fear in love. You have to be you, and it’s okay to have opinions, it’s okay to be your authentic self and that other person by God’s providence will love you for you.

Putting your best foot forward shouldn’t be putting on a show or a mask; as if this is the wooing phase and you want them to like you, so you act courteous. You act respectful. You act mannerly. You act lady-like. You put on a facade and then once the knot is tied, you be your regular self and people are disappointed because the expectation they have of you is the “best foot forward” guy or gal you presented yourself as.

If putting your best foot forward was just putting yourself out there, think how such transparency would affect people. Flattery is not righteous, compliments are by the way ( for those saying they wouldn’t mind some flattery). Flattery is with a means in mind, the examples (of flattery) in God’s word do not seem to look positively on its use. A compliment, on the other hand, is sincere.
Yet even better than a compliment is encouragement.

I don’t know, I read your posts and this stuck out to me. Your best foot forward should be yourself. I get “dressing up” as it fits the occasion. But casual you or dressy you, is still you. Your character stays the same. Don’t play the part of gentleman if you do not walk daily as a gentleman. Consideration is a daily practice, a selfless inquiry to the needs and desires of another; not peacocking to attract a mate.

Be you.
Click to expand...
BenFTW, this is a lighthearted thread. Girls just wanna have fun and all that😂😎😁🤦‍♀️.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#65
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#65
1christian1 said:
I get that " take it or leave it" attitude. But I've always been attracted to women that brought out the beast in me. Being around them made me want to be a better person. And hopefully, I for them. Is'nt that the type of person that you want be with?...
Click to expand...
* Best not beast...
 
BenFTW

BenFTW

Senior Member
#66
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
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#66
Susanna said:
BenFTW, this is a lighthearted thread. Girls just wanna have fun and all that😂😎😁🤦‍♀️.
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😄 I know, but some people were offering their real criticisms and opinions on dating, and things they’d like to hear or see. Just adding a balance to the conversation.
 
E

EleventhHour

Guest
#67
#67
BenFTW said:
This is odd to me. You obviously want the other person to like you, but why not just be yourself? Be sincere in who you are. Of course you want to look dapper, or in the case of a woman beautiful, but this is something I myself had to realize by revelation of the Lord. There is no fear in love. You have to be you, and it’s okay to have opinions, it’s okay to be your authentic self and that other person by God’s providence will love you for you.

Putting your best foot forward shouldn’t be putting on a show or a mask; as if this is the wooing phase and you want them to like you, so you act courteous. You act respectful. You act mannerly. You act lady-like. You put on a facade and then once the knot is tied, you be your regular self and people are disappointed because the expectation they have of you is the “best foot forward” guy or gal you presented yourself as.

If putting your best foot forward was just putting yourself out there, think how such transparency would affect people. Flattery is not righteous, compliments are by the way ( for those saying they wouldn’t mind some flattery). Flattery is with a means in mind, the examples (of flattery) in God’s word do not seem to look positively on its use. A compliment, on the other hand, is sincere.
Yet even better than a compliment is encouragement.

I don’t know, I read your posts and this stuck out to me. Your best foot forward should be yourself. I get “dressing up” as it fits the occasion. But casual you or dressy you, is still you. Your character stays the same. Don’t play the part of gentleman if you do not walk daily as a gentleman. Consideration is a daily practice, a selfless inquiry to the needs and desires of another; not peacocking to attract a mate.

Be you.
Click to expand...
I really like this.... good advice.
 
BenFTW

BenFTW

Senior Member
#68
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
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#68
1christian1 said:
I get that " take it or leave it" attitude. But I've always been attracted to women that brought out the beast in me. Being around them made me want to be a better person. And hopefully, I for them. Is'nt that the type of person that you want be with?...
Click to expand...
I also completely understand what you’re saying here. You desire to be presentable and the opinion of the person you care for matters. You esteem their opinion. You want God to sanctify you so that you walk in love.

I have a song where the lyric says, “Make me a saint, I want no complaint. Prepare Ye the way, make me righteous this day.”

I want God to prepare me for my wife to be, and He is.
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#69
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,668
113
#69
BenFTW said:
This is odd to me. You obviously want the other person to like you, but why not just be yourself? Be sincere in who you are. Of course you want to look dapper, or in the case of a woman beautiful, but this is something I myself had to realize by revelation of the Lord. There is no fear in love. You have to be you, and it’s okay to have opinions, it’s okay to be your authentic self and that other person by God’s providence will love you for you.

Putting your best foot forward shouldn’t be putting on a show or a mask; as if this is the wooing phase and you want them to like you, so you act courteous. You act respectful. You act mannerly. You act lady-like. You put on a facade and then once the knot is tied, you be your regular self and people are disappointed because the expectation they have of you is the “best foot forward” guy or gal you presented yourself as.

If putting your best foot forward was just putting yourself out there, think how such transparency would affect people. Flattery is not righteous, compliments are by the way ( for those saying they wouldn’t mind some flattery). Flattery is with a means in mind, the examples (of flattery) in God’s word do not seem to look positively on its use. A compliment, on the other hand, is sincere.
Yet even better than a compliment is encouragement.

I don’t know, I read your posts and this stuck out to me. Your best foot forward should be yourself. I get “dressing up” as it fits the occasion. But casual you or dressy you, is still you. Your character stays the same. Don’t play the part of gentleman if you do not walk daily as a gentleman. Consideration is a daily practice, a selfless inquiry to the needs and desires of another; not peacocking to attract a mate.

Be you.
Click to expand...
Yes. That is what I meant. Show people who you are. Putting on a mask is not showing what you have to offer. It is pretending to offer what you don't have. My thoughts were that too many people start with telling the other person about all their wounds and grievances. That is not what makes you special. Let people see who you are. That is the best foot forward idea. :)
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#70
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#70
1christian1 said:
* Best not beast...
Click to expand...
You know, There are many song's that I can relate to in life. But this one song by "Extreme" " More Than Words" sums up pretty much how I feel about relationships. ( I'm sure most of you are familiar with this song ). If you get a chance.,Take a listen...
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#71
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,668
113
#71
1christian1 said:
You know, There are many song's that I can relate to in life. But this one song by "Extreme" " More Than Words" sums up pretty much how I feel about relationships. ( I'm sure most of you are familiar with this song ). If you get a chance.,Take a listen...
Click to expand...
OK that made me tear up.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#72
#72
laughingheart said:
Yes. That is what I meant. Show people who you are. Putting on a mask is not showing what you have to offer. It is pretending to offer what you don't have. My thoughts were that too many people start with telling the other person about all their wounds and grievances. That is not what makes you special. Let people see who you are. That is the best foot forward idea. :)
Click to expand...
Yeah, problem is that many people seem to believe that being true is about only telling your date what a sorry person you are.

News flash😂: you’re a whole lotta more than a rainy side. In fact, even a Debbie downer throwing a tantrum has more to it than just a bucket of sorrows😁.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#73
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
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#73
Mel85 said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue,
What is your name?
I don’t have a clue.

Or maybe that’s for the other thread? 😅

Tbh? I wouldn’t know what to say, except that I would hope he would be well mannered lol. In Eli’s words, “I’m shy”.
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Being shy may not be that much of a problem because 'body language' plays a part in the communication process.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#75
Mar 13, 2014
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#75
Lynx said:
Wait, this seems self-contradictory... Or at least like a missed opportunity. If you're never going on a second date with this dude, why not hand the check to him? Who cares what he thinks? He's history! Might as well get a free meal out of it. That's your payment for listening to his rant all night. :cool:
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I agree and he can pick up the tip too.
 
Gregoryp

Gregoryp

Banned
#76
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#76
what is your philosophy on life? You're beliefs, spiritual and personal, your vision whilst your on the earth ? Get the answer to that, then you can see if she will fit in to your journey. Live, love, laugh. But what is her definition of live, love and laugh?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#77
Mar 13, 2014
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#77
1christian1 said:
You would have to think about who was paying if we ever went out for dinner. I'm old school. (Was raised right. Lol..). When ever I forget why I stopped dating. You all have a way of reminding me. Lol. Things were so much simpler back when.. The only thing men had to contend with was when women thought that men expected something in return.(if you know what I mean). Not realizing that being on a date with you Was all we wanted. .Lol... That's just me....
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I'm old school too and that means that the guy always pays. Also, you should put your focus on her and not yourself. I would not put much emphasis either on any failed relationships you may have had in the past as it might give the impression that you're 'damaged goods'.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#78
Mar 13, 2014
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#78
Gregoryp said:
what is your philosophy on life? You're beliefs, spiritual and personal, your vision whilst your on the earth ? Get the answer to that, then you can see if she will fit in to your journey. Live, love, laugh. But what is her definition of live, love and laugh?
Click to expand...
This is a good area to explore but it will probably take quite a few dates to get a handle on her philopsophy. Also, be prepared to present your own philosophy on life as well.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#79
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#79
laughingheart said:
OK that made me tear up.
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Right? I remember how it felt to love every time I here that song and it just so happens that it was playing at the time I was reading your post. Funny huh....
 
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