Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

I wish I can give you two hearts. But all the things you listed about the woman you met are the exact same things my friend reports concerning this guy. She is very vocal and tells him how much she is hurting, but he hasn't changed a thing. He does the bare minimum to keep her around. I told her he needs help and if he doesn't get it, she should run. That's a disastrous marriage waiting to happen. My heart truly ached for all the women going through this. It's painful.

I truly believe such a man cannot be a believer. How can you claim to be a child of God, yet refuse to love a fellow believer as the Bible instructs us to?

Thanks for commenting. Stay blessed

I'm sorry to say this, but I believe whoever you're describing ran away from you because you were not willing to love her as the Bible instructs you to. I pray you heal from whatever caused you to not be able to open up to someone else.

To answer your question, look up avoidant attachment style.

The only way to answer your original post would be to know of a couple of real life examples of what she says he does that she or you are calling "emotionally unavailable" I admit I scanned quickly through some of the posts and I may have missed the real life examples if they were given. The reason I gave my example was to demonstrate how many different things could be called "emotionally unavailable" to the person using the terminology. And it was my attempt of being humorous. (I know it must of failed)

OK I looked it up. (avoidant attachment style) If that description is what he is guilty of then that just means he is not convinced she is the one. She probably has some labels of her own he is concerned about but is too nice or to wise to attempt to diagnose her since he is not a professional psychologist but she is giving him signals that he should not commit. Nice guys will say it is because they are wanting to be cautious about marriage but it really means they want to be cautious about marrying YOU. They will say "it's not you, it's me" and they think it gives them some mysterious tortured soul persona as though they are a deeply emotionally wounded person who does not want to get hurt or have a bad marriage like their parents, but it is always really YOU.
Don't let them string you along. Better to face the reality that they are not worthy of your attention and keep looking because some guy is just waiting to meet you and be totally on fire for marriage and all the responsibility that comes with it.
I think the personality type labels are not helpful. We are complex creatures and we can be any number of personality labels in various circumstances and situations. The right girl comes along and that same guy can be all about emotional available and might end up getting a label of smothering, clingy, etc. Same guy different girl.

So keep it simple and "don't invest in a relationship where the other person seems reluctant."

Theres no traumatherapists available. Believe me, my doc and I have been trying everything

Who knows. Maybe its some new millenial vocabulary that we just still dont know about exacly

It is possible, yes. However, if he remains as he was when she first met him I think she has to ask herself, when we're suppose to be, as Christian women, dating perspective husbands, if she'd be able to deal with that in him for the rest of her life? However old she is, personalize that in numbers of years relative to life expectancy. In other words, would she be willing to deal with that in him for the next 50 years?

When she's been with him for about a year, and he says he's given his life to Christ but remains as he was when she met him, something sounds off. Christ is a healer. If he's aware he's emotionally unavailable, he should be aware Christ heals and commit to the healing work of Christ through prayer, Bible study, and so forth.
There's another thing to consider here too. He could be using your friend knowing she was a Christian beforehand, he could be saying he gave his life to Christ in order to get into her good graces.

I am surprised that people are answering as if they know what you are talking about exactly. Does he not like to sit around and talk about his feelings? A lot of men are that way. I heard on the radio that women's brains are different from men's, with a stronger link between the speaking center and pleasure center in their brains than men.

Does emotionally unavailable mean he doesn't fall in love with someone he is dating?

Are you saying he is a sociopath with no normal feelings for people?

EXACTLY! I never got a clear understanding of what the poor guy is guilty of. Maybe he is just skittish? And maybe he has good reasons? Let's hear both sides of the story so we can give the proper counsel.

Is he truly emotionally unavailable or guarding his heart and holding back? A Christian can be emotionally unavailable but it isn't always intentional. Sometimes they're emotionally available in terms of a friendship but not romantically. In that case they probably have trust issues or aren't interested.

I thought avoidant attachment style was something to do with breastfeeding but I could be wrong.

if that is the case its nothing you can help as you are not HIS mother. I would probably advise praying about his own relationship toward his parents and healing for that first.