Am I living wrongly because I suffer so much?

I've always used my social media accounts primarily for fun and to keep in touch with my friends. However, unfortunately, I began comparing myself to the people who have relationships and the amount of followers/friends they have. I tell myself, "How do you think you're going to find your Person when you don't have many friends on social media? If you have a lot of followers, only then, there is probably a chance for you to be noticed by someone." .

For as long as I can remember, I've been single, except for 1-2 relationships, in which I gave more than the other side... Until recently, I didn't pay much attention to this, because I always believed that I would find my soulmate. I look at the people around me and they all are in relationships except me. I'm very sad and afraid for myself since I feel that the loneliness and fear have shattered me. I'm afraid that I'm not the same calm and cheerful person anymore.. I attend sessions with a specialist, but it is crucial for me to hear your opinion on this issue and get advice from you, because I really need it...

I've always used my social media accounts primarily for fun and to keep in touch with my friends. However, unfortunately, I began comparing myself to the people who have relationships and the amount of followers/friends they have. I tell myself, "How do you think you're going to find your Person when you don't have many friends on social media? If you have a lot of followers, only then, there is probably a chance for you to be noticed by someone." I can't express how extremely exhausting and destructive on my mental health this is. Even though I know people who have met on social networks and yet don't have many followers....

Also, I've never been a party person and I didn't like big companies. I have some good friends, but no companies. I don't have boy friends who could become anything more. I'm not a shy or socially anxious person, there are just people who like to be among many people, but there are also those who don't like and I'm from the second one. Therefore, I constantly torture my mind with questions like ''Should I change myself completely? Should I start forcing and pushing myself among companies with more people, even though it will make me feel uncomfortable and not good? Is that the only solution and key for finding My Person?''

When it comes to dancing or social hobbies, unfortunately, the things I like to do aren't social and at the moment, there is nothing new I would like to try. Should that terrify me? Does this really mean that I'm doomed to never meet my partner in life? I am afraid that I live my life wrongly, dooming myself to loneliness and unhappiness. But do I really have to change who I am? Isn't it important to stay true to who you are? Should I start forcing myself to get a lot of followers, push myself into companies, and go to activities that aren't interesting to me, just because those are the ways to find a boyfriend? I really feel awful and desperate, as if I am in a huge black hole, from which there is no escape and no light ...

Time is the ultimate nonrenewable resource. Spend it wisely, because when it is gone you won't get any more. (Protip: Ice cream is a very good investment of time.)

If you think social media is a determination on your ability to find a mate, then yes you are living wrong. Social media, in moderation, is fine. But once you begin placing your value in your social media status and follower count you Have doomed yourself until you come out of it.
For years now there have been studies showing how destructive social media can be when too much emphasis is placed on it.

Before social media, chat rooms and computers people still met and dated and married, so clearly it'd not required.

Soul mates don't exist. It is a pagan concept, not a biblical one.

If you're defining your worth by your dating/marriage status, you're making bad choices. Unhappy people that get married don't become happy, they bring unhappiness into their marriage and ruin it. Learning to be happy with yourself being single and not a social media idiot is your first necessary step.
Both being married and single have pro's and con's, neither is actually better. Just different.

And finding yourself single after many years is happier than being married and wishing you were single again because of a bad marriage.

I pay no attention to my social media presence. I have a fb I use once a day and don't even use it for social things. I have some family and friends and that's it. And yet I'm still able to date. With zero followers. Nor am I one to party, dance, go out, etc... I'm a disabled introvert with no social presence and a great girlfriend. Hmm...

In your other thread wasn't it all about how you were trying to get to the US? And how hard you worked to make it happen? And now you're complaining about being single?
So if your goal and focus, for years, has been to move to the US why would you be worried about dating?

And if i recall you're still in your 20's, yet you seem to think your life is over and nothing you want can ever come of it. You've got another 40+ years to live, nothing is done. It's just getting started.

Being yourself is the right thing, pretending to be something you're not will cause you to lose everything in the long run.
But that doesn't mean you can't search yourself out for wrong thinking and behaviors and attitudes. That's a responsibility of all people.

I suggest learning to slow down, quit drawing lines in the sand and instead learn. Focus on Personal growth rather than dating, social media, moving, etc... and if something is bad in your life, work at changing it.
I believe you would benefit greatly by shifting your focus onto healthier things. And by doing so and growing as a person you may find doors open that were previously closed. Because then you'll be able to handle them. Currently you don't see as though you could.

I believe that the more friends one has the least significant each one becomes. You don't need a lot of friends but rather than just best friend.

For as long as I can remember, I've been single, except for 1-2 relationships, in which I gave more than the other side... Until recently, I didn't pay much attention to this, because I always believed that I would find my soulmate. I look at the people around me and they all are in relationships except me. I'm very sad and afraid for myself since I feel that the loneliness and fear have shattered me. I'm afraid that I'm not the same calm and cheerful person anymore.. I attend sessions with a specialist, but it is crucial for me to hear your opinion on this issue and get advice from you, because I really need it...

I constantly torture my mind with questions

I really feel awful and desperate, as if I am in a huge black hole, from which there is no escape and no light ...

An elder lady warned me long ago, "we (her husband and her) thought we had dozens of friends for the longest time; but when hard times came, only two of them stayed; almost no one can have more than two or three real friends in life at a time".

There is much peace to gain when we stop trying to make things happen just because others tell us we "need" them, and start exploring the life we already have.

There is SOOOOOOO much more to life than being single or married. To focus on "I have to find a spouse" and put the rest of our lives on hold is like starving to death because we don't have that one, last, rare ingredient for the soup we want to make. Just make the soup already... or a casserole, or pizza, or quiche, or whatever you have in your life's pantry. Live life while you have it.

Time is the ultimate nonrenewable resource. Spend it wisely, because when it is gone you won't get any more. (Protip: Ice cream is a very good investment of time.)

Is there any hope for happiness for the lactose intolerant? Sniffle, sigh, slowly advancing towards the fresh chocolate chip cookies that are causing a ruckus in the kitchen. Things are looking up.

I found peace and contentment in goat dairy. It has a bit of lactose, but not nearly as much. As I mentioned to a friend just last night, I can eat a whole block of goat cheese with less sinus crud than one lousy slice of cow cheese.

And they do make ice cream out of goat milk. Cherry chocolate chip ice cream.

I have a handful of friends who I know will not be there for me in hard times. For example during certain times of urgency they did not respond immediately. So, I wonder if I should go ahead and reduce/eliminate contact with them. Some of these friends are busy with new families, but still...

For as long as I can remember, I've been single, except for 1-2 relationships, in which I gave more than the other side... Until recently, I didn't pay much attention to this, because I always believed that I would find my soulmate. I look at the people around me and they all are in relationships except me. I'm very sad and afraid for myself since I feel that the loneliness and fear have shattered me. I'm afraid that I'm not the same calm and cheerful person anymore.. I attend sessions with a specialist, but it is crucial for me to hear your opinion on this issue and get advice from you, because I really need it...

I've always used my social media accounts primarily for fun and to keep in touch with my friends. However, unfortunately, I began comparing myself to the people who have relationships and the amount of followers/friends they have. I tell myself, "How do you think you're going to find your Person when you don't have many friends on social media? If you have a lot of followers, only then, there is probably a chance for you to be noticed by someone." I can't express how extremely exhausting and destructive on my mental health this is. Even though I know people who have met on social networks and yet don't have many followers....

Also, I've never been a party person and I didn't like big companies. I have some good friends, but no companies. I don't have boy friends who could become anything more. I'm not a shy or socially anxious person, there are just people who like to be among many people, but there are also those who don't like and I'm from the second one. Therefore, I constantly torture my mind with questions like ''Should I change myself completely? Should I start forcing and pushing myself among companies with more people, even though it will make me feel uncomfortable and not good? Is that the only solution and key for finding My Person?''

When it comes to dancing or social hobbies, unfortunately, the things I like to do aren't social and at the moment, there is nothing new I would like to try. Should that terrify me? Does this really mean that I'm doomed to never meet my partner in life? I am afraid that I live my life wrongly, dooming myself to loneliness and unhappiness. But do I really have to change who I am? Isn't it important to stay true to who you are? Should I start forcing myself to get a lot of followers, push myself into companies, and go to activities that aren't interesting to me, just because those are the ways to find a boyfriend? I really feel awful and desperate, as if I am in a huge black hole, from which there is no escape and no light ...

I have a handful of friends who I know will not be there for me in hard times. For example during certain times of urgency they did not respond immediately. So, I wonder if I should go ahead and reduce/eliminate contact with them. Some of these friends are busy with new families, but still...

I have a handful of friends who I know will not be there for me in hard times. For example during certain times of urgency they did not respond immediately. So, I wonder if I should go ahead and reduce/eliminate contact with them. Some of these friends are busy with new families, but still...