Betrayal

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May 31, 2020
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#21
Then a Christian I had been friends with for years showed me that her friendship was shallow. When I was injured she never visited and I saw that she treated her church friends well but looked upon me as "if I get the time I'll answer" - she actually said that. So I stopped contacting her and she kept emailing me so I did to her what she did to me and she didn't like it and completely cut me off. It showed what she truly is
I say this with love, respect and good intentions, but I encourage you to be careful of the plank in your eye.
 
Mar 25, 2020
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#22
Same here. The sibling who did so much evil I helped. When they had problems I let her husband stay at our house. i supported her and then jealousy got the best of her and she did something very very evil. It's very hard with God then because you know the forgiveness verses but when someone does something that cuts so deep you can't. At least I could not. Her evil caused a lot of pain that will never go away. I told God the best I can do is walk away.

But I got through that and then had a friend who I had been close to just stand back and it really showed me that she's not the Christian I thought she was. She was always judgmental - her husband was one of these picky types that didn't know how to do a lot but would pick at others. I just had a sense about him that he put my husband and I down. He never made good money and had a low level job. My husband had a really good job and I think that made them jealous and they were somehow happy that we had problems. I think jealousy is the most evil that drives people to do ugly things.

I wish that sometimes God showed us that He punished evildoers because it can really hurt when someone does very wicked things and then seemingly walk away unscathed. It's one of the things I don't understand about God.
Suffering is the cross we have to bear as Christians. It's how God purifies our soul. Although God doesn't want us to suffer in reality. Because he wants us to lay all our cares and worries on Him. And that is having faith that God is going to do for us what we feel is impossible to be done in our lives by ourselves. Yes, there will be hard times. Although God will not abandon us.

You can get horses ready for battle, but it is the LORD who gives victory. Proverbs Chapter 21:31

"If any of you want to come with me, you must forget yourself, carry your cross, and follow me. Matthew Chapter 16:24.

Christian life is not for everyone.

"Many are invited, but few are chosen." Matthew Chapter 22:14

If you know Jesus, it's because He chose you. The journey will not be easy. Although I believe a Christian's life is worth it, because God doesn't give up on us. Even when we give up on ourselves. And God knows what we need. Even before we ask Him, He knows what we need. All our needs and wants are known by God.

Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5.

Yes at times it is hard on our own. That is the sign for us to renew our relationship with Jesus. Pray to Him and have faith that He will do for us what we need in our lives. And with child like faith we have to ask God to do for us what needs to be done in our lives and also do our part towards achieving our goals. It's all we can do.

"Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

The best revenge is living a good and successful life. In forgiving and moving on so that the past doesn't affect you. Of course, God will give those who hurt you double of what they gave you. You don't have to know what happens to those who hurt you. You must go on with your life. That's forgiveness. Don't let the negative affect your present life. You still have a family and God has blessed you with so much. Thank Him everyday for what you have.

Anyway I know that life is difficult and it's okay if we fail to do what is pleasing in God's sight. Although winning points before God will get us to a good place in life. That's my personal experience with God
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,249
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#23
I don't know if you know of the Betty Broderick case. If not I recommend you read the story. She was so badly betrayed by her lawyer who she helped put through law school. He and his paralegal married and they tormented Betty and she shot them. If I had been on that jury I would not have convicted her. It was so sad.
Betty Broderick stalked her husband for years after he left her and never took any responsibility for her own actions, always blaming him and claiming that he would not leave her alone. Even her children were appalled at her behavior as the drama unfolded. Did he wrong her? Yes he did. Did he deserve to die for it? No, he did not. But she went into his house with a loaded gun and shot her ex husband and his wife while they lay in bed, and to this day says it was his fault and he had it coming to him :oops:
 

UnoiAmarah

Junior Member
Jul 28, 2017
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#24
Our pastor completely stopped talking to me because we had to stop attending church due to severe injuries I sustained. It made me really see what is what
How long had you been a member of that church? Had you heard anything about how treated other members who were unable to attend? :unsure:

Then a Christian I had been friends with for years showed me that her friendship was shallow.
That's deep. At least you showed her walking away without saying anything. :whistle:
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#25
eek
I dont hold on to whatever evil was done to me. God allows me to move on and whoever it was that hurt me knows cos Im not around them anymore.

Why would I waste time and energy stalking someone. God has a judgement day, there is a reckoning thats enough for me. Besides, God will also judge me if I did anything terrible, though Im glad for His mercy when I was a sinner.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
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#26
Did you cut your family out of your life? I can tell you are a tender soul. All of your mother's horrid betrayals seemed to work in your favor though as you have a heart for others. That's a gift and a blessing to others. I'm glad you didn't turn hardened.
Well I wouldn't say I cut her off I attempted a few times to make amends with my family but my mom had convinced everyone I abandoned them so every time I went over for say Christmas or something I was hounded to come back home and they constantly tried to convince me how much better it would be living them so I didn't tend to speak to them much

I actually had to return to them in the end though because my eyes got so infected I became almost completely blind I just felt God tug me to go to them even though I didn't want to but in my time away they did change somewhat my mom is the kind of person who needs a man in her life to keep her stable and she actually had been dating a man named Tad who I actually highly respect although my family still are not able to listen to me and I go through a lot of emotional struggles and inner damage that I am unable to talk to them about

It built up over the course of almost two years of living there being in complete isolation because my eyes were to damaged to go anywhere even sunlight hurt them and I went to my family to express everything and I just burst because I only needed to be heard to be understood for them to actually listen and understand all I am going through and how they even if not intentionally are the ones doing the inner damage to me it got so bad I was sent to a mental facility for the night it was horrifying I was put in the hole with other people for the night so I don't tell my family anything anymore
 

AlmondJoy

Active member
Oct 31, 2020
245
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#27
May i ask what good it does to bring up old hurts and how this one and that one wronged you?

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15

I have seen people get "hurt" at church and get bitter. That bitterness sprung up and defiled their children.

Christians are called to be good soldiers.

Come on man!!!! We are soldiers in the army of the Lord

Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
2 Timothy 2:3 KJV

I have been a Christian for nearly 30 years and I have many brothers/sisters in the Lord who I am proud to call friends.

Are we all perfect in the church? No! The church is like Noah's Ark, we have some smelly animals on board BUT WE ARE STILL THE BEST THING FLOATING

If you have a lack of friends let me give you a couple scriptures to ponder:

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly......
Proverbs 18:24 KJV

Ask yourself, do I show myself friendly?

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 KJV

If you have a friend, love them in the good times, and bad times.....ALL TIMES!!!

Which btw, paper is thin but it still has two sides!!
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#28
I've been betrayed by several Christians who I had thought were friends. Our pastor completely stopped talking to me because we had to stop attending church due to severe injuries I sustained. It made me really see what is what. Then another Christian did something truly devilish. Then a Christian I had been friends with for years showed me that her friendship was shallow. When I was injured she never visited and I saw that she treated her church friends well but looked upon me as "if I get the time I'll answer" - she actually said that. (((((( So I stopped contacting her and she kept emailing me so I did to her what she did to me and she didn't like it and completely cut me off. It showed what she truly is)))))

David in the bible talked about "mine own familiar friend" - and I wondered how many other believers experienced betrayal from other Christians? I think that somehow I missed the boat in finding friends who wouldn't backstab but I listened to one of Charles Stanley's sermons and he said that most people don't have a lot of friends. I guess he's in the position to see things in an entire congregation. I heard another pastor who said "some Christians you can't turn your back on" and that has been my experience. When things are going good people want to be around but when you fall is when you see what people really have in them. Have others experienced this?
===================================================
notice quotations =
YOU copied the EXACT actions in her that appalled YOU, and so, 'you are saying to us here in this site, that YOU are JUST
LIKE HER in your RESPONSE'...
Christ teaches us to NOT have the '(((get even mentally))), because IT is TOTALLY (((CARNAL)))...
1PETER 3:9.
Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that you
are thereunto called, that you should inherit a blessing.
1COR. 15:34.
Awake to Righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.
 
Mar 25, 2020
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#29
Well I wouldn't say I cut her off I attempted a few times to make amends with my family but my mom had convinced everyone I abandoned them so every time I went over for say Christmas or something I was hounded to come back home and they constantly tried to convince me how much better it would be living them so I didn't tend to speak to them much

I actually had to return to them in the end though because my eyes got so infected I became almost completely blind I just felt God tug me to go to them even though I didn't want to but in my time away they did change somewhat my mom is the kind of person who needs a man in her life to keep her stable and she actually had been dating a man named Tad who I actually highly respect although my family still are not able to listen to me and I go through a lot of emotional struggles and inner damage that I am unable to talk to them about

It built up over the course of almost two years of living there being in complete isolation because my eyes were to damaged to go anywhere even sunlight hurt them and I went to my family to express everything and I just burst because I only needed to be heard to be understood for them to actually listen and understand all I am going through and how they even if not intentionally are the ones doing the inner damage to me it got so bad I was sent to a mental facility for the night it was horrifying I was put in the hole with other people for the night so I don't tell my family anything anymore
I think families are like that my brother. They hurt each other very badly and are often unaware how bad their actions affect the other person. By words and deeds, parents can rip the hearts of their children. And yes, there's one thing which we all have in common which makes it easier for us to converse with each other. We have Jesus.

Well, nobody has it easy in life I guess. The more I listen to others life story or testimony, I know that life is not all kind. I'm still not married but even if I do, I don't want to bring such misery to my children. Kids watch us all the time. They look up to us and learn from us and if we are going to let life affect us, they see that too. They learn from their parents. Parents most of the time don't realize that.

I say this because I've seen my parents do that to their children. But it wouldn't be fair to my parents if I said that they didn't care for me even though they did a super bad job of bringing us up. They did what they could but still, there is a lot of hurt that my parents have left me to deal with.

If I turned out all right, it's because of Jesus. I know I'm not the only one in this thread but I just want to say that most of what I am today is just me having learned from trial and error. If I assess my upbringing, I can go on and on about the complaints. You know the worst part of it. Not a single word I speak will ever be understood by my parents. Let alone heard by them. My mother is the most bad listener I ever known in my life.

Like someone I knew used to say, we all have skeletons in our cupboards. Anyway, that's life. There's only so much anyone can do. What we cannot do is left in God's hands to deal with.
 
Aug 14, 2019
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#30
In this life we will have trials. Don't dwell on them. Don't let these thoughts take the peace of Christ from you. If something takes peace from your heart discard it immediately. Move on and live.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
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#31
I think families are like that my brother. They hurt each other very badly and are often unaware how bad their actions affect the other person. By words and deeds, parents can rip the hearts of their children. And yes, there's one thing which we all have in common which makes it easier for us to converse with each other. We have Jesus.

Well, nobody has it easy in life I guess. The more I listen to others life story or testimony, I know that life is not all kind. I'm still not married but even if I do, I don't want to bring such misery to my children. Kids watch us all the time. They look up to us and learn from us and if we are going to let life affect us, they see that too. They learn from their parents. Parents most of the time don't realize that.

I say this because I've seen my parents do that to their children. But it wouldn't be fair to my parents if I said that they didn't care for me even though they did a super bad job of bringing us up. They did what they could but still, there is a lot of hurt that my parents have left me to deal with.

If I turned out all right, it's because of Jesus. I know I'm not the only one in this thread but I just want to say that most of what I am today is just me having learned from trial and error. If I assess my upbringing, I can go on and on about the complaints. You know the worst part of it. Not a single word I speak will ever be understood by my parents. Let alone heard by them. My mother is the most bad listener I ever known in my life.

Like someone I knew used to say, we all have skeletons in our cupboards. Anyway, that's life. There's only so much anyone can do. What we cannot do is left in God's hands to deal with.
I am in the exact same boat I learned how to be a good parent by seeing what not to do kids are far more perceptive than we give them credit for not just perceptive but receptive as well, and in the same way as you my family especially my mom is a horrible listener the funny thing is if me and my sister say the exact same thing my sister can always convince her of something or reach her but if I say the same thing beforehand it's like she doesn't hear me.

Favoritism is a very subtle but deadly thing in the lives of kids it makes them feel less valued less loved less confident it actually has a huge psychological effect on them and most parents are unaware of this favoritism they do, since I never had a dad in my life all I had was my mom who without even meaning to has always favored girls over boys it doesn't help that I was always a sensitive and receptive person so growing up I felt left out like I didn't matter as much as my sisters, this made me really ponder if I was a parent because even I would love to have a little girl one day but say I had a boy and a girl if I allowed myself to put them through what I went through I could never allow that.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
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#32
May i ask what good it does to bring up old hurts and how this one and that one wronged you?

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15

I have seen people get "hurt" at church and get bitter. That bitterness sprung up and defiled their children.

Christians are called to be good soldiers.

Come on man!!!! We are soldiers in the army of the Lord

Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
2 Timothy 2:3 KJV


I have been a Christian for nearly 30 years and I have many brothers/sisters in the Lord who I am proud to call friends.

Are we all perfect in the church? No! The church is like Noah's Ark, we have some smelly animals on board BUT WE ARE STILL THE BEST THING FLOATING

If you have a lack of friends let me give you a couple scriptures to ponder:

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly......
Proverbs 18:24 KJV


Ask yourself, do I show myself friendly?

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 KJV


If you have a friend, love them in the good times, and bad times.....ALL TIMES!!!

Which btw, paper is thin but it still has two sides!!
Actually it does a lot of good in this particular instance. Saintrose is a very special and tender soul so she is very prone to love and gentleness but while this is a gift it also means she is much easier to hurt and damage it's like a flower they are beautiful and have a sweet fragrance but the more beautiful a rose the easier it withers, flowers in geenral are beautiful but often times people just pass them by can you imagine being a beautiful flower shining your beauty for people even with the short life you have but people just pass by or trample you without really a second thought?

This is why gardeners have to have a special kind of hand you can tell a flower to toughen up all you like but that won't help it to flourish it requires good tending to so that eventually it can stand strong in the garden a damaged flower often requires a sort of crutch to grow properly again.

Saintrose is at this moment a damaged flower and needs to be understood and given a sort of shoulder to lean on to grow back properly not everyone is a warrior some are healers and gardeners and thus require a different approach to build up and make strong
 

AlmondJoy

Active member
Oct 31, 2020
245
71
28
#33
Actually it does a lot of good in this particular instance. Saintrose is a very special and tender soul so she is very prone to love and gentleness but while this is a gift it also means she is much easier to hurt and damage it's like a flower they are beautiful and have a sweet fragrance but the more beautiful a rose the easier it withers, flowers in geenral are beautiful but often times people just pass them by can you imagine being a beautiful flower shining your beauty for people even with the short life you have but people just pass by or trample you without really a second thought?

This is why gardeners have to have a special kind of hand you can tell a flower to toughen up all you like but that won't help it to flourish it requires good tending to so that eventually it can stand strong in the garden a damaged flower often requires a sort of crutch to grow properly again.

Saintrose is at this moment a damaged flower and needs to be understood and given a sort of shoulder to lean on to grow back properly not everyone is a warrior some are healers and gardeners and thus require a different approach to build up and make strong
This weak, effeminate, sissified spirit right here is whats wrong with 90% of the church. Where have all the soldiers gone?

Your not helping nobody with your flowers in the garden comments....sickening!!!

Jesus said the world hates me and they will hate you

Endure hardness as a good soldier.....

Stop carrying your feelings on your elbow and toughen up

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
Psalms 119:165 KJV
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
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#34
This weak, effeminate, sissified spirit right here is whats wrong with 90% of the church. Where have all the soldiers gone?

Your not helping nobody with your flowers in the garden comments....sickening!!!

Jesus said the world hates me and they will hate you

Endure hardness as a good soldier.....

Stop carrying your feelings on your elbow and toughen up

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
Psalms 119:165 KJV
If you ask me 90% of what is wrong is the opposite, what are told to do for each other in scripture? We are to pray for encourage build up and teach each other Trust me when I need to be I am a warrior except my calling as a warrior is for the sake of others but I am also a healer an encourager and builder for others.

Different people in different states of faith require a different approach but I suppose you wouldn't understand that if you think the approach that she needs is being a sissy, and clearly if that is your appraoch and understanding then you haven't had a lot of experience in helping and teaching others but how do you think I learned what appraoch to take to different people?

And by the way my garden analogies have actually helped and inspired many so unless you have a better way to help people who struggle with these inner demons and pain kindly back off
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,249
25,719
113
#35
Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
Psalms 119:165 KJV


This weak, effeminate, sissified spirit right here is whats wrong with 90% of the church. Where have all the soldiers gone?

Your not helping nobody with your flowers in the garden comments....sickening!!!

Jesus said the world hates me and they will hate you

Endure hardness as a good soldier.....

Stop carrying your feelings on your elbow and toughen up
You come across as being greatly offended :unsure:
 

AlmondJoy

Active member
Oct 31, 2020
245
71
28
#37
Different people in different states of faith require a different approach but I suppose you wouldn't understand that if you think the approach that she needs is being a sissy, and clearly if that is your appraoch and understanding then you haven't had a lot of experience in helping and teaching others but how do you think I learned what appraoch to take to different people?

And by the way my garden analogies have actually helped and inspired many so unless you have a better way to help people who struggle with these inner demons and pain kindly back off
A true friend that loves you will tell you the truth If they don't tell you the truth they are not your friend and they do not love you.

Anyone reading the OP Who Has an ounce of Bible knowledge would tell the truth and say "no Don't do unto others as they have done to you."

That's why I say your counsel is rotten to the core. Yes it sounds all Joel osteen and all But it is not Bible. Your council Allows people to feel justified in treating others badly

Jesus would say to love your enemies

Jesus would say do good to them that despitefully use you

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
Luke 6:27‭-‬33‭, ‬35‭-‬36 KJV

You asked if I had any advice, I do...... All of them brothers and sisters that done you wrong... Make them their favorite cake and take it to them. And that is not easy to do It would require a real soldier in the army of the Lord to do that.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
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#38
A true friend that loves you will tell you the truth If they don't tell you the truth they are not your friend and they do not love you.

Anyone reading the OP Who Has an ounce of Bible knowledge would tell the truth and say "no Don't do unto others as they have done to you."

That's why I say your counsel is rotten to the core. Yes it sounds all Joel osteen and all But it is not Bible. Your council Allows people to feel justified in treating others badly

Jesus would say to love your enemies

Jesus would say do good to them that despitefully use you

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
Luke 6:27‭-‬33‭, ‬35‭-‬36 KJV

You asked if I had any advice, I do...... All of them brothers and sisters that done you wrong... Make them their favorite cake and take it to them. And that is not easy to do It would require a real soldier in the army of the Lord to do that.
I admit she sholud not have done unto others as they did to her but I have been speaking to her privately and I know her natur, I have been helping her and guiding her so trust me I know the kind of help she needs many only read the posts few try to reach out get to them and help them.

This isn't my first rodeo I have helped guide and teach many believers in need and have helped many damaged and wounded ones there is a time to help them get back on their feet and a time to tell them they need to move past that point so that they can be strong this is why I used the flower needing a crutch in my analogy a flower that has been stepped can grow back but will need support in order to grow strong again ionce it's ready you take the crutch off
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
3,709
4,073
113
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#39
If you ask me 90% of what is wrong is the opposite, what are told to do for each other in scripture? We are to pray for encourage build up and teach each other Trust me when I need to be I am a warrior except my calling as a warrior is for the sake of others but I am also a healer an encourager and builder for others.

Different people in different states of faith require a different approach but I suppose you wouldn't understand that if you think the approach that she needs is being a sissy, and clearly if that is your appraoch and understanding then you haven't had a lot of experience in helping and teaching others but how do you think I learned what appraoch to take to different people?

And by the way my garden analogies have actually helped and inspired many so unless you have a better way to help people who struggle with these inner demons and pain kindly back off
Proverbs 16:24
Kind words are like honey--sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

I agree with you @Blain ...
I have seen and witnessed your beautiful sensitive spirit come along side of those who are cast down , and even myself have been uplifted from the words you speak , and I have also seen when you draw your sword for battle , and stick up for those who are weak...
...xox...
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#40
Proverbs 16:24
Kind words are like honey--sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

I agree with you @Blain ...
I have seen and witnessed your beautiful sensitive spirit come along side of those who are cast down , and even myself have been uplifted from the words you speak , and I have also seen when you draw your sword for battle , and stick up for those who are weak...
...xox...
Thank you I appreciate it I am grateful there was a difference made