Should men be able to express themselves in a relationship?

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Nov 12, 2020
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#61
I believe that the best thing is to be yourself. When you are genuine in the way you act and are unapologetic about it, that is attractive. Too often people change for other people but their real self comes out eventually. It's best to show your partner exactly who you are so they don't get a bad surprise later.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
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#62
No we should do exactly as we’re told our feelings don’t count and it’s all about the woman.lol
So in that's case men would never end up having romantic relationships because since their feelings dont count this will also include his affectionate feeling for women right..😉😉
So he would be in a sense emotionally disabled...making him like Dr spock or even the terminator......no emotions...🤣🤣
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#63
So in that's case men would never end up having romantic relationships because since their feelings dont count this will also include his affectionate feeling for women right..😉😉
So he would be in a sense emotionally disabled...making him like Dr spock or even the terminator......no emotions...🤣🤣
haha I can think of too many instances where this happens and then couples need to be reminded and have a valentines day and be told to be romantic and have date nights. Doesnt actually happen any other time does it? Except maybe in France. when I visited Paris saw lots of men carrying flowers on the metro intending to give them to their women and couples embracing and holding hands. That so does NOt happen in my hometown, Its full of rats like a rat race. nz men are a bit hopeless.

so its possibly culture dr spock and terminator being american archetypes...
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#64
although my home city was orignally meant to be called Tamaki Makaurau which means 'land of a thousand lovers' in Maori

But then Maori are the passionate people, but their culture also have a reputation for physical violence (maori war dance, haka anyone?)
so opposite to british culture, which is passionless, but their violence is more of a pyschological kind. Like a coldness. Guns are more the brits thing than fists.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#65
actually though the translation is referring to the land being loved, not human lovers lol.
 

echoChrist

Active member
Dec 22, 2020
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#67
So in that's case men would never end up having romantic relationships because since their feelings dont count this will also include his affectionate feeling for women right..😉😉
So he would be in a sense emotionally disabled...making him like Dr spock or even the terminator......no emotions...🤣🤣
I was just joking men are sensitive they just hide it they think it’s not manly but that’s not me.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#69
Should men be able to express themselves in a relationship?

I've been contemplating this question on and off for days now and haven't been able to come up with a "right answer".

On one hand, I believe in old school thinking that the man should stay strong for his wife and kids and be an example of leadership to them. On the other hand I also believe that a man should be able to just be himself in a relationship. I think it boils down to each circumstance and knowing whether he should do more of one or the other.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#70
...Of course there will be times when a strong, courageous leader must express their feelings because it's just too much for him/her to bear.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#71
"Should" men be able to express their emotions within a relationship?

Yes.

Are they?

Typically, no. Two thoughts, by way of explanation...

Firstly, "emotions" is usually a euphemistic code for fear, sadness, and hurt. Few people have an issue with men expressing appropriate elation, surprise, irritation, or controlled anger. It's misleading and confusing to use a general term to mean a small range of the spectrum.

Men feel every emotion, just as women do, whether or not they have been trained to identify and recognize them. How they express them is often limited by societal or familiar pressure, and far too many men are trained to keep most emotions to themselves. These same men are not trained how to deal with the powerful emotions that they do feel, and many channel them into bullying, aggression, malice, and vengeance, both physical or mental.

Secondly, like it or not, many women are simply not attracted to men who express their negative emotions in the same ways women do, or will lose respect for those who do. Belka touched on this earlier; it's not a societal norm so much as a biological reality.

So what's the answer? Men, deal with your strong emotions (especially those in the realm of fear, sadness, or hurt) privately with God, or with other trustworthy men. It's better not to deal with them with your female partner (and definitely not with a woman other than your partner!). Instead, once you have dealt with them, you might share that you felt a certain way, but share the existence of the emotion, rather than expressing the emotion itself. Also, learn how to deal with powerful emotions in the moment, saving the 'dealing' for an appropriate time.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#72
I was thinking of the dr spock, was it when babies cried they were totally ignored and fed to schedule. Parents were raising them to be robots/ machines?

Why was he writing a parenting book. I have never read it.
according to wikipedia, he had two sons but his first marriage ended in divorce.

I wonder if many dads actually read his books, wiki said it was popular with mothers. Isnt parenting a partnership?
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
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#73
I was thinking of the dr spock, was it when babies cried they were totally ignored and fed to schedule. Parents were raising them to be robots/ machines?

Why was he writing a parenting book. I have never read it.
according to wikipedia, he had two sons but his first marriage ended in divorce.

I wonder if many dads actually read his books, wiki said it was popular with mothers. Isnt parenting a partnership?
how does this relate to the thread?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#75
or was it a different dr spock. I just know about the baby book author.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#76
For some reason every time I see this thread title, an old song keeps running through my head...

Make him express how he feels
And then you'll know your love is real
Express yourself!
 
Apr 3, 2020
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#77
The bible was written by men. About a god refered to as father. With a child known as a son. So why would a Christian woman assume men do not contain the full spectrum of emotions.

What you mean to say is why dont men express emotions like women? Or emotions approved by women. Also no, women are not better parents than men. We have the results of 60years of single mother child rearing to look at.
 
Nov 15, 2020
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Newcastle, NSW, Australia
#78
The bible was written by men. About a god refered to as father. With a child known as a son. So why would a Christian woman assume men do not contain the full spectrum of emotions.

What you mean to say is why dont men express emotions like women? Or emotions approved by women. Also no, women are not better parents than men. We have the results of 60years of single mother child rearing to look at.
there is the book of Ruth and Esther.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#79
well going back to OP

innermost fears, traumas, concerns,
feelings sad anxious or worried...why should a woman expect a man to share those with her. A woman is not God. These things a child might go to their mother. or in prayer to God. But not to randomly to someone, even if they are in a relationship. Why because what would be the point?

do you expect someone to dump all their worries on you?
Even women dont go sharing that kind of stuff with men who wouldnt understand when they are PMSing. They cant do anything about it!
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
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#80
well going back to OP

innermost fears, traumas, concerns,
feelings sad anxious or worried...why should a woman expect a man to share those with her. A woman is not God. These things a child might go to their mother. or in prayer to God. But not to randomly to someone, even if they are in a relationship. Why because what would be the point?

do you expect someone to dump all their worries on you?
Even women dont go sharing that kind of stuff with men who wouldnt understand when they are PMSing. They cant do anything about it!
You dont really have anything consistantley constructive to say on this thread so why don't you just leave this thread?
I have noticed the type of comments you make on here and quite frankly you seem to lack the understanding necessary to appreciate the dynamic of the O.P
Dont you understand anything about the actual dynamics of relationships?
What on earth are you on about saying that a woman is not God.?🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
No man/woman is God yet we share thing in our live with others that trouble us dont we?
The bible mentions over and over again about sharing each others burdens..yet are we God?..NO..
So what on earth are you on
about??
You seem to have made some random comments here which completely miss the point of this thread...then after a while you come back and make other random comments then your off again..
You don't seem to get the dynamic of this thread do you..??
One of your previous statements here you said that if a man doesn't share things that's his problem and that it will only come back and bite him!
...are you serious?