Finding Her ..

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
maybe they were lengthy PMs? idk. just giving the benefit of the doubt. lol.

when i first communicated with my husband, our first emails were pretty generic. fave music, movies, foods. our friendship grew with time and more communication. but of course, that's just our story lol.
Started out about the same for me & JesusLives. Slow but sure. Everyone has a story. :)
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,415
2,659
113
First emails or pms are usually short generic/get to know you messages. I’m still going to stay with my gut reaction to bake some cookies instead. Then again, it’s my two cents...
indeed. i didn't know i was gonna marry my husband until we were in a relationship lol.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,415
2,659
113
Some people claim they know right when they meet them... that scares me lol
i understand! lol. if my husband would have told me he was going to marry me before we were even together, i would have said, "uhhh... hold up. i need to talk with the Lord about this!" :ROFL:
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,670
113
i understand! lol. if my husband would have told me he was going to marry me before we were even together, i would have said, "uhhh... hold up. i need to talk with the Lord about this!" :ROFL:
That’s nicer than what I would have said... uhhh i have commitment issues and you’ll need to wait 10 years, is that ok?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
are you sure you can't help? Or won't ?

no restrictions. Pm when you want, as long as you do.
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but your posts come across as being extremely demanding. It's as if you seem to think that people somehow owe you something as soon as you walk through the door.

I understand that the post I'm making is also going to come across as being just as demanding :ROFL:, but I can't help but ask, is this your Standard Operating Method when you talk to people you don't know?

You first came here demanding that the forum create a special section just for Australians, with no one else allowed. I'm not saying that this is necessarily a bad request, I'm just saying that your posts made it sound like you somehow believed you had a right to expect it and demand that it should happen, just because you asked for it.

And now in these posts, you are sounding like you expect people you don't know to help you with what sounds like a nearly-impossible task, because... Why?

Why are you making it sound like the first member you replied to in these quotes is purposely holding something back on you? Saying, "You can't help me... or you won't?" makes it sound like she has the power to magically produce this girl out of thin air for you but is somehow just being a big meanie. :rolleyes:

And your post to this second member makes it sound like, "You had BETTER PM ME (or else)!!!", as if they somehow owe you a PM -- for what reason?

And I know that 95% of your posts are nothing but answering questions with questions, so I'm not expecting you to give a tangible or reasonable answer -- I admit that curiosity is one of my flaws and seeing the way you talk to people in such an "everyone owes me" manner made me curious enough to finally ask.

You had said that women hardly talk to you.

Is this how you interact with people in real life as well? Always expecting something, and only giving answers in the form of more questions without ever answering what was asked?

Do you believe that sounding this way is attractive to women, or even people in general?

And will you be able to answer this without just asking more questions and dodging what's being asked of you as you've done in all the other threads you've answered?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
Sorry for the double post, but there is one other thing I wanted to ask.

You said you're almost 40 and that this girl was 20-something... and I believe you said that someone apparently gave you some kind of... prophecy? About you finding a wife?

So I understand that after 3 PM's and no other women talking to you, you are very anxous and hopeful that this young lady might be your assumedly prophesied wife, correct?

So let's say this girl you're looking for is 25 -- about 15 years younger than you. Just out of sheer curiosity (yup, it got the best of me again,) would you be just as determined to find this woman and be just as hopeful that she were your prophesied wife if she were, say, around 55 (15 years older instead of 15 years younger)?

I just can't help but wonder.

It sounds like you didn't know her very well.

I'm certainly not saying this was the case but she very well could have been a much different age than what she may have told you.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,670
113
And I know that 95% of your posts are nothing but answering questions with questions, so I'm not expecting you to give a tangible or reasonable answer -- I admit that curiosity is one of my flaws and seeing the way you talk to people in such an "everyone owes me" manner made me curious enough to finally ask
This is why I believe most of the posts are trolling and not even answering our questions after we have taken the time to answer him back (and not in a form of a question). It just comes across having a selfish attitude.
 
Nov 15, 2020
1,897
362
83
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
maybe they were lengthy PMs? idk. just giving the benefit of the doubt. lol.

when i first communicated with my husband, our first emails were pretty generic. fave music, movies, foods. our friendship grew with time and more communication. but of course, that's just our story lol.
short PM's but still PM's.
 
Nov 15, 2020
1,897
362
83
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
You haven't had a date in over 20 years. I've dated for the past 7 years. And had a couple long-term relationships in those 7 years. I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but not having a date in over 20 years, you might be a bit inexperienced of how dating works. :)

So, yes, after three pms and you're "searching" for this girl and putting all your eggs in one basket, I think it's a bit too fast and you've become attached too quickly. I used to be like that, too, and it kept people away from me.

It wasn't an attack and you gotta stop making everything out to seem to be an attack. It makes it very hard for people to talk to you or offer you advice. I should haven't made a joke about it. So, I apologize for that!
well, you sound like an expert, as though I'm not allowed to ever have a girlfriend/wife.
Hmmmm ?
 
Nov 15, 2020
1,897
362
83
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but your posts come across as being extremely demanding. It's as if you seem to think that people somehow owe you something as soon as you walk through the door.

I understand that the post I'm making is also going to come across as being just as demanding :ROFL:, but I can't help but ask, is this your Standard Operating Method when you talk to people you don't know?

You first came here demanding that the forum create a special section just for Australians, with no one else allowed. I'm not saying that this is necessarily a bad request, I'm just saying that your posts made it sound like you somehow believed you had a right to expect it and demand that it should happen, just because you asked for it.

And now in these posts, you are sounding like you expect people you don't know to help you with what sounds like a nearly-impossible task, because... Why?

Why are you making it sound like the first member you replied to in these quotes is purposely holding something back on you? Saying, "You can't help me... or you won't?" makes it sound like she has the power to magically produce this girl out of thin air for you but is somehow just being a big meanie. :rolleyes:

And your post to this second member makes it sound like, "You had BETTER PM ME (or else)!!!", as if they somehow owe you a PM -- for what reason?

And I know that 95% of your posts are nothing but answering questions with questions, so I'm not expecting you to give a tangible or reasonable answer -- I admit that curiosity is one of my flaws and seeing the way you talk to people in such an "everyone owes me" manner made me curious enough to finally ask.

You had said that women hardly talk to you.

Is this how you interact with people in real life as well? Always expecting something, and only giving answers in the form of more questions without ever answering what was asked?

Do you believe that sounding this way is attractive to women, or even people in general?

And will you be able to answer this without just asking more questions and dodging what's being asked of you as you've done in all the other threads you've answered?
demanding am I?
So you're an expert as well are you ?
Of course no one owes me.
Can I not ask a person to on me ?
I suppose it's a crime that I'm a member of this forum.


Does anyone know how/where I can possibly find the woman ?
That's all I want to know!
 
Nov 15, 2020
1,897
362
83
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
This is why I believe most of the posts are trolling and not even answering our questions after we have taken the time to answer him back (and not in a form of a question). It just comes across having a selfish attitude.
are you a Christian ?
Stop calling me a troll, it's annoying!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
demanding am I?
So you're an expert as well are you ?
Of course no one owes me.
Can I not ask a person to on me ?
I suppose it's a crime that I'm a member of this forum.


Does anyone know how/where I can possibly find the woman ?
That's all I want to know!
Do you ever answer with anything else besides questions that never actually answer the questions you are being asked?